multiplicity_archives | Entries tagged with relationships singlet w/plural

battyvamp.livejournal.com

Hi,

I used to be a member here, then I left for awhile. For those who may not remember me, I am engaged to a wonderful man, who happens to be plural. We had thought he had only been plural since 2004, when he was told that he would need lungs and heart transplanted, but we recently realized he has been plural since a trauma that happened to him at the age of 5. I won't go into it here, because it is his story to tell, if he ever wishes to.

He has had several personalities come and go since 2004. Right now he is home to 7 wonderful men, whom I love dearly. 2 of which are the "originals" if you will. I say two, because one we had thought was the actual owner, but in fact turned out to be the one who was split from the owner.

Sorry if this is confusing, lol.

My question here is.... Is it possible for me to like, astral project, or something similar to visit them? I am dying to see the home they have made for themselves inside, and they are dying for me to come in.

I guess this may sound stupid or something, but it is something we are very curious and hopeful about. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. And I will make a post later describing my fiancee and his mates.

Thank you,
BV

X-posted to my journal

EDIT:

Thank you all for your help and info. I will be doing a lot of reading and researching on this thanks to your helpful links. I really appreciate the help. :D

Current Mood: curious
Current Location: Bedroom- Tampa Florida
Current Music: Mr. and Mrs. Smith

dragonsilver.livejournal.com

Hello.

I'm an 18 yr old female and I have MPD. We are functional, except for the little *coughs* in the system. I am dating a 23 yr old male who is simply amazing. I have recently confided in him about the MPD, and he as expected took it greatly.(His best friend also has MPD)

Because of the fact this is a relationship between a singleton and a multiple, and I have little to no prior experiance with this I am looking for some help on how to make this work without making it awkward. The last thing I want is problems due to this.

One of my alters is male, and in no way gay, and hates even holding hands with my boyfriend when he is fronting. This is the main reason this was confided into him-to go from touchy me to 'get your hands off of me' me I could tell was confusing the boyfriend. This alter has a bad temper and is very protective/possessive towards me, and can barely tolerate the boyfriends presence. My question for the alter is how can he politely tell the boyfriend to stop touching him-before he goes into a rage and intentionally hurts him. The alter has only been well behaved for the deals we have made for his good behaviour-however his patience for this little game is waning.

Any tips would be greatly appretiated.

Thank you for your time.

"Cassie-original to the body"
"Jake-the alter with the problem"

crystalseraph.livejournal.com

Today was bloody awful. A lot of stuff happened: I could use a shoulder (or #>, depending on the system) to cry on. It's long, and complicated. For those not following my journal or previous posts, we have 5 system members, 4 of them only recently unrepressed, and having been in the tumultuous process of learning to cope with the changes while being true to myself.

( Breaking off engagement, and other things )

Current Mood: scared
Current Music: Mirror System - Hilal

linnai.livejournal.com

Hey! Had a question...

( All behind here to spare people not interested. Short summary: It's about being single and in a multiple system )

annabellelaw.livejournal.com

****Erm... I posted this once but I think my computer ate it. If I do it twice by mistake please detete whichever one is best to delete, sorry****

Well things for me have been difficult recently. Carrie & I broke up, though she is still marrying Ash, so that was odd. It was painful. I think we might be back together but I'm not quite sure how things stand, so we might not be. It wasn't anything bad that caused us to split up, and I still love her, which is painful to see her and be next to her but no to be loved back, but she decided that we were just too different & incompatible.

The pain caused me to try to 'Go Away' which was scary and made me even sadder, but thanks to some friends I didn't, but as a side-effect Ash & I did kind of merge Sunday morning briefly. I'm not sure if it was true integration or if it was blending or if he ended up temporarily with some of my memories or personality traits or what but it was scary for him & Carrie and I have no memory of that period apart from his memories so I don't quite know what's happened.

When I was trying to go away Ash found that his tact & libido disapeared with me... maybe that's the part of us that I control, like he's all self-confidence I'm all sex-on-legs (LOL).

I'm still feeling kind of fragile and uncertain right now so ash is feeling some of the side effects of that including disasocciation and odd mental blanks and headaches and things but it seems to be getting better. While things are uncertain I don't want to push Carrie into making a rushed desiscion on our relationship, so I think we just need time. I'm looking forward to the wedding, and am excited about it for them, though hanging around our parents is always tough for me :(

Freddie, thank you for the worry dolls!

*x-posted to my own LJ*
I'm going to cross-post this to the Multiplicity LJ, though it is full of mad people who annoy me (rolls eyes) as well as wonderful caring people (smiley) and sometimes they share the same body!

stealthdragon.livejournal.com

Situation:
My boyfriend, S, is British. I'm in the U.S., so our main line of communication is instant messenger type services. S seems to have trouble wrapping his mind around the idea that we're seperate entities. A few days ago, Es happened to be in control of the body, and introduced herself. S is now rather weirded out about the whole thing.

Questions:
Do any of you have suggestions on how we might go about getting him used to the idea that I come as a 'package deal'? (Note that anyone but me finds it very difficult to front in S' presence. I expect that to change as we get used to being around him in-person.)

It'll be somewhere down the line, that we have to figure out how to explain that I'm the only one who percieves themself to have an existing relationship to him. So far as my brainmates are concerned, he's a random stranger that I'm very fond of. Stealth relationship-building is difficult, so if anyone has suggestions about that, I'd appreciate them as well.

Cheers,
- Kat

cat-in-a-tree.livejournal.com

Hi all. I'm a singlet but my SO is a multiple. I've read in the journals here and have some of the jargon and a tiny bit of understanding of what this is all about. I'd like to chat with someone in the same boat as me, a singlet SO of a multiple. Anyone?

Current Mood: contemplative

mirrorbrothers.livejournal.com

So. As it happens, I have a boyfriend. And I'm very strongly considering telling him about Johnny - as in, I'm probably going to tell him pretty soon.

The good news: he's an open minded, extremely non-judgmental person, and he likes me a lot.

The bad news: he knows about the headmates of a mutual friend of ours, and while he certainly isn't intolerant or wrongheaded about it, he doesn't seem to take Talon and Leena very seriously as people. This could cause friction on its own, but on top of that, Johnny's straight, and thus not attracted to my boyfriend at all. Actually, it's only lately that Johnny's started to even like him. At least some of this is bound to come out, and I'm not sure my boyfriend will be able to understand that Johnny's opinions and feelings aren't mine, not even subconsciously.

I almost have to tell him, though. He's very emotionally sensitive, and he can sometimes tell something's up when Johnny's co-present around him. He hasn't figured out what yet, but keeping the secret isn't going to be plausible a long-term option. And anyway, if he knew about Johnny, I could also tell that whole group of friends (they could hardly accept one multiple and reject another), which would be really cool.

So... I dunno. I guess I'm wondering what the community has to say about this. Advice, stories about similar situations, random comments, whatever.

- Rob

PS - I'm finding the concept of coming out to my boyfriend very ironic. - R

http://users.livejournal.com/__camy/

I joined this community because my fiance has MPD... I've been trying to learn more about it (I just have manic depression), and while there's some good reading material out there about it, I just can't understand it.
Basically what he's told me, and what his friends have told me, is that he has borderline MPD... he says it only 'comes out' when he's VERY angry about something and that when it does, he blacks out and can't remember anything. While I do not make him angry now and have never seen this come out in him, I know it will eventually happen. I'm not sure if there's any way for me to be ready for it, but I'm just so confused. I've read some of the past entries in this community and I just want some kind of introduction into the world of multiplicity... it has always fascinated me.

Also, I thought I should say that some of this seems a bit peculiar to me.. I mean, doesn't everyone have different characters that come out in certain situations? I know I do....

matrexsvigil.livejournal.com

Hello everyone, my name is Pam, and I'm pretty sure I'm a multiple. I don't doubt the exsistance of the Others in my mind, but I do doubt the label. A quite large intro (skip to the end for the question):

( Read more... )

My question is, how should I approach my fiance about this? He likes to joke about my Others, and I'm sure that's his way to keep what happened from being too weird in his mind. He's a good person, and we're doing alright together now. I want to be truely open with him, but I'm afraid of making him uncomfortable. Any suggestions or hints?

-P.C.

--"Off the Pink."--

militesdekulta.livejournal.com

Ca's friend Stephen is truly bothering us all. He keeps conveniently forgetting we exist and saying it's weird that Ca knows about us. Whatever. Every multiple learns at some point they're not alone. Yes we are coconscious and no that is not a crime. He is pissing me off and I don't know how to fix this. He acts sad and bewildered when someone else picks up the phone,a nd he forces Ca out which is never good. It's one thing to ask for her, that we would have no problem with as other people have and do do that. But he has no tact in that arena and "won't fucking ask for Lunette or something" because "that's weird".
--Luna and Elondriel

Current Mood: pissed off

ex-nanonyan.livejournal.com

( monster post o.x )

ex-mushroom784.livejournal.com

thank you to everyone who responded to the entry i did over here... i did read everything, i have a habit of just absorbing things, and keeping my thoughts to myself. but i am appreciative.

the one without a name in me seems to just hate the idea of more change. she (used loosely, i don't think of her with any real gender... save for her voice, and attraction to my boyfriend) gets upset with small changes, and it affects me also... so i realize that the stress that i felt then, probably was brought on by her, if only in part.

the boyfriend and i did try a second time for a kiddo (no luck on that, but at least i didn't LOSE one either) but have agreed to not actually try again for a while. since we're a LDR, it's not that big of a problem. :)

as for trying to get permission (or whatever... not sure the right word to use here) from my inners... one (Su) doesn't seem to care either which way, she just doesn't want me sad again. the one without a name won't even talk to me about it. i THINK she'd be more likely to talk about it with my boyfriend though. there's probably an even higher chance she'd talk with an ex of our's (yes, she was with him too) if he got the chance to be the father. ugh. so yeah, this is going to be touchy for a while, but at least i've got some ideas on how to handle things. just a LITTLE bit more than before. :)

as for the chance of it possibly being a health thing in general... i know it is. my doctor told me that it's very rare i'll ever concieve (um, again, obviously), and even less possible that if i DO manage to, that i'll ever go full term. hence the need to figure this out before not too long. :/

thanks for listening to me again. i must seem whiny and stuff, which i didn't intend... sorry if i offended anyone.

Current Mood: restless
Current Music: on your mark - chage & aska

familiasystem.livejournal.com

The time has come, I think, to tell my wife that I'm multiple. And I have no idea how she's going to react. But Rana is fronting more and more (my wife just passes it off as me acting "extremely girly"), and now is hinting strongly that she wants MORE to change. She wants the body to be more female. I don't know if dressing is going to be enough or if she wants even more. And the scary thing is, I don't know if I can stop her anymore. She's getting stronger and stronger, and I'm starting to feel less in control. I think I need to discuss this with my wife NOW before something happens that really screws things up.

Any suggestions?

-Alixx

ex-mushroom784.livejournal.com

((i realized, i never really said who i am! i'm Jen, but much prefer to be known as Ryk. i even had a couple teachers calling me in that in my short stint in college. hah! my boyfriend is Bry, and i tend to talk about him a whole lot. :/ even when he's being a jerk. but since i bring him up alot, may as well mention him too. the two in me who talk the most are Su [though she's more a mediator, for when anyone else in me goes out of bounds, i think], and one who changes her name a lot... i can't remember all of the names, but the one she used most was Angel. as an in joke, cuz she liked to pretend she was my guardian angel, out to save me. right... there's more, but they don't really talk to me/interact with the outside world [that i'm aware of!], so i don't know a whole lot about them))

after reading through some off the comm, i realized how very different i seem to be from everyone else.

for the majority here, everyone is 'us' and 'we'...

for me, it's 'i/me/whatever' and 'them' (there's two very vocal ones... one WAY more than the other... and a couple that i'm not sure what they do... aside from not talk to ~me~)

i'm pretty sure i can't be the ONLY one who feels like just a tool to be used at times (though i'm pretty sure that's not really the case, just a feeling..) but it'd still be nice for some reafirmation. :)

also... has anyone else had someone just show up for a day, and then take off? my boyfriend has told me of two like this... one who didn't talk, but cried a ton, and curled up in a corner of my room... and one that was some guy who was sarcastic, but not in a mean way like the girl who switches her name as she pleases.

i saw the thing about them DYING, but i don't think that's the case here. though i could be wrong. i'm not new to being a multi, just new to the idea of talking to others about it, who can actually UNDERSTAND. ^_^; so i might seem confused in how i talk, or explain things, compared to anyone else. for that i'm sorry.

sidenote : about the dear boyfriend... i'm still not sure what to do with him. however, the girl who changes her name seems to be up to something, and it's kind of worrying me... :/ she can be like an older sister... either trying to protect me, or being a bitch, trying to take things from me ~_~;

Current Mood: exanimate
Current Music: simple & clean - utada hikaru

ex-mushroom784.livejournal.com

i just joined... maybe... 20 minutes ago? :/

i'm glad i found this (by odd coinsidence, too) community today... i need some major help...

my... others, like my boyfriend was saying today, tend to go dormant unless i'm in trouble, then they speak up, a lot.

anyway... today the boyfriend was yelling at me, telling me he doesn't trust me. then he turned around, and said he just doesn't trust the 'others inside of me'... :/

i told him they've left him alone for the past month or so, and why is he freaking out now... so i don't know what to do...

this isn't something i want to lose... he and i were looking to marriage (even though he's had sex with one of the others ~_~;) in the not-to-distant-future...

he accepts they exist, but i guess he's scared they're going to do something against him. we know all his passwords for everything, which he's taken to changing... he has cheated on me before, so i'm worried about THAT too.

guh, it's just one big mess. as if i needed more things to deal with :/

there's not a lot of us. only 3 that ever really talk to him. so it's not like he's up against some big army or anything either. though one is scary enough that she even scares me (call her a she, but she doesn't really have any gender...)

any advice would be nice..

Current Mood: hopeful

darkest-art507.livejournal.com

I joined this community several months ago and this is my first post here. Please take me seriously I’m in dire need of help. First of all, I have been diagnosed with DID, PTSD, depression and self injury issues. I’m a survivor of long term childhood sexual abuse and I have been in therapy since 1990 dealing with everything. Currently I’m in therapy at a free sexual assault crisis center. My problem is that since it’s a center for victims of sexual assault they won’t put a diagnosis on my mental problems. My current therapist is even reluctant to acknowledge the possibility that I have multiple personalities. But anyone who is around me for any length of time picks up on it rather quickly. I am a multiple and I always have been one.
My mate and I have been together for going on 26 years now and we’re on the verge of breaking up because of my multiplicity. I’m on the brink of losing it because of everybody inside me getting out of control. My life is in total shambles because I can’t keep myself mentally together enough to work a regular job. In the past I had her support and understanding but now that is ending. In the past I worked when I was able, but now I’m totally nonfunctional.
I just can’t keep things together enough to hold a job. Has anyone else ever been unable to hold a job for any length of time because of their multiplicity?

I was wondering if I should seek help at another mental health center where I have to pay for their services. Maybe then my multiplicity will be finally addressed? I really have to get it under control because it’s wrecking my life. In the past my multiplicity helped me to function but now it’s a hindrance. Lately I have been losing track of time. Sections of my life are blacked out and I’m unable remember what went on. In the past it was as if I was watching somebody else living my life. There are times in my life where I can’t remember anything at all about what went on, I have no memory what so ever. But they had a clear beginning and end to them. But mostly, I’m sort of aware when another person is out. But I can’t do anything to change what they are doing. But like I said, recently I have had a total loss of time and I’m really scared that I’m losing it. Right now, I’m Cynthia she is the one who more or less decides who needs to be out in order to function. In attempt to be a singular by my core personality, I have been suppressed or kept inside for five or six months. Right now in our lives everything is in shambles.

What I was wondering, should I seek help for the DID and MPD somewhere else where they will take it seriously? Is there some kind of medication that I could be put on to stop or at least slow down the personality changes? Can all of this be brought under control or am I just hopelessly screwed up mentally? Please take me seriously, I’m not faking this, it really is wrecking my life.

lirialgypsyrose.livejournal.com

Hello all,

I am a "singlet" currently involved in a relationship with someone who is multiple.
I am new to this community and i would like to seek some advice to help me better understand things. I would like to ask any advice on how i can establish a line of communication with him and his others so i can better understand when things happen. Such as: When i dont hear from him b/c he has been switching ,naturally i get alarmed b/c i fear what if he doesnt come back etc? Even tho i know he will come back eventually. Sometimes another will be the front-runner for awhile. Should i get to know each of his alts? their moods etc?
I dont like to ask questions sometimes b/c i am afraid of causing triggering etc.
What is usually the better way to go about asking the others , when he is not available that i want to talk to him etc? They know who i am that much i know from conversations that i have had with them.
Im finding myself confused at times. Any advice would be most helpful...
I apologize if this post doesnt seem to make much sense i am kinda sleep deprived atm.
Sincerely,
~T~

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Pink floyd : Dark side of the moon

l1b3r473.livejournal.com

Er, hi there! I'm new, obviously, and I just recently came to the conclusion that we're multiple. Well, we all knew of eachother's existance, but what woke us up is when I, Bethany [Spaz], started to realize that something horrible happened to us in fifth grade, and Christina has told me what happened, but will not allow me to see the memories... says they're too much for me.
There are a few more than three of us here. Our body is 14, 15 next month, while Christina is 23 and Evelyn is ageless.
This isn't my true account, but this is the journal that Christina has ranted and raged in for a good few months, mostly about my girlfriend who she hates.
Question:
I have a girlfriend of seven months who I love with all my heart, and she's going through some tough times and she says that one of the reasons she is is because 'I'm not telling her anything...'.
How am I supposed to explain my being multiple without sounding like I'm full of shit? Plus, I'm not even sure if I am, even if it seems really obvious right now, but I've always doubted everything, even when Christina and Jade are screaming that it's true. And how do I tell her that one of us hates her? She's sensitive, so she wouldn't take that well, and last night Evelyn fronted and got totally confused while she was pouring out her soul to us, and Evelyn ending up crying because she didn't understand what was going on, and even told my girlfriend that. What was she supposed to think? I felt so bad.
But Christina really, really hates her and I don't know how my girlfriend would take that...
Help?

taranfaithsgaby.livejournal.com

Hi. I was a little bit worried about posting here since I am not multiple, but my girlfriends convinced me that I should. You see, I'm in love with two. They are both part of Pack Collective, and have recently posted here. *Waves at Faith and Tara.*

The core, Rick, is married, and soul bound, to Jaysun, both of whom I care for dearly and am learning more and more about everyday.

So, here's my thing. I know Tara posting about if there were other systems that have partners within the same "house". And I don't really know that I have a question or any precise reason for posting here other than that I love them and am in love with them and they are my world and I want to learn as much as I can so that I can take care of them. Does anyone have advice for an outsider trying to do what's best for the Collective, and therefore, my girls? I'm going to muddle through this, but any advice that you may be able to offer would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Fumbling Towards Ecstacy by Sarah McLachlan

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Multiplicity

Being Plural

Entries tagged with relationships singlet w/plural

Is visiting another possible?

Hello

Trial by Fire, hooray

Single, anyone?

Just in case you were wondering

(no subject)

Singlet SO of a multiple

Confessions

hello, i'm new :)

Introduction And A Question...

(no subject)

Randomness @_@

hm...

Losing control

hmm..

hey ^_^;

Could somebody answer some questions for me?

Establishing a line of communication for better understanding of things

(no subject)

New here...

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March 2013

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