multiplicity_archives | Entries tagged with discovery

mrshannibal.livejournal.com

in a response to a post,

cirape said:
I view nonfunctional multiplicity as something with missing time and system members being unable to communicate and the like.

conveying in words i could not find, exactly what i have been going through...
talked w/my psychologist this week about it and he's suggesting we keep track of this and asked about letters written, emails sent, things bought, places gone w/out my forefront knowledge...
i told him this had been happening for years, but i blew it off as "forgetting" because people DO forget things from time to time...i mean, after all, don't most people talk to themselves in their head, right?
heh, it's only when my daughter tells me "you know you have a british accent, right?" and "umm, when did you forget to know how to make coffee?"
cuz that happens to everyone, right?
uh, no...
it's only been within the past 3 years that it has become more and more prevelant, which confuses and scares me to no end...people at work have said things of concern and i brush that off as having a bad day, or i'm feeling emotional or whatever comes out of my mouth that makes sense to them and they walk away - satisified w/the answer they've been given only to leave me befuddled as to just exactly what was said...

system members being unable to communicate and the like.
i read this and thought - oh yeah, well, THE LIKE part got me in the emergency ward w/about 3 stitches on one wrist and bandages on the other because apparently there is a sullen 16 yr. old boy that gets angry quite easily and then gets self destructive...most of the time it's contained and curtailed, but sometimes - well, sometimes it just happens...
i was there in the hospital all day...then i saw my psychologist that afternoon...

so he asked for copies of things that had been written and/or sent and such and i asked my friend to help me w/that because the last time i thought to do that - the paperwork got lost and my friend said,
"maybe there's someone who DOESN'T want anyone to know at all"
and i brushed it off as "forgetting"...

i've come to find that when i "go" somewhere else or however that can be explained, i get this bone-chilling cold shiver, and it's slightly numbing and not all that pleasant...usually happens when i feel stressed and/or threatened...
what happens to you when you "change"?

i've taken a break from posting in my personal journal because every time i put in the attempt, it's gone...nothing gets posted, not even jokes or pics or whatever - so i took a break...someone wrote a nice note and that was that...sometimes it bothers me, but i'm going with it for now...i've been in other communities and lj's of friends, but nothing like being here where i feel better...well, as good as i can feel...

anyhow, i don't know where i'm going w/this - but thanks for letting me ramble...

Current Mood: confused
Current Location: kitchen
Current Music: "bend & break" - keane

utopiandystopia.livejournal.com

ok so i'm not really an anorexic head-case, i just don't feel comfortable eating. I don't eat meat, i'm fond of fruits and grains. and never really in front of others... i get sick easily. so with this said... i had a bit of an epiphany. Kat likes to say that there are only six of us. well i think there might be another. listen to this, x-posted to my journal.

"Ok, as far as i'm concerned we did good today found Aria hiding in the black spaces between us. she was a friend from when i was younger. really younger. she was originally my mothers friend, the black hooded figure from her childhood, and then reimagined as our own. we then talked and found that the image of Aria really never left. Kat used to make comics about her. the comics consisted of a figure like cat and she was "a little gothie" well turns out she is in our head. i'm starting to wonder where the others have gone... Rae hasn't been here for a while, and neither has Legion. not since the incident the other day. and i'm wondering if Aria really isn't one of them. i don't know. well, we'll find out. - Mei"

Ok so Aria pops up in conversation, and bam, she was there in the halls, conversing with us. i drew her on kat's papers at work, she should notice when she goes back to work... now question is, do i tell Kat? i mean i know she'll find out, but should i tell her i think she's here to stay? and about Legion, i miss her, it's been a few since we talked. :( well, i'm not tired, be here all night prolly, so comment me back yeah?

Current Location: utopian dystopia
Current Music: silence is golden.

tvoytoy.livejournal.com

hi,there.
i'm jane.
i have a question for nontrauma-based system-members.
so, how did you realized you are multiple? have you heared some voices one day or something else?
remember please you first "meeting".
and happy new year for everybody.
to tell you the truth -i feel the unspeakable tenderness while reading this community.it's like being your common mom=)

linnai.livejournal.com

( A very brief summary of )

What do you do when you finally come to terms with the fact that you DO work better with fewer parts? Things got totally out of hand.

Partially to blame is some sort of innate ability to identify active perspectives of humanity in general, and society around the body and it "calls up" fragment-parts that have voices, that either fade back away pretty quick and leave a gaping hole or stick around, but are amorphous and not quite whole enough to really work together with anyone else...

Looking into perspectives. We're already working out some sort of... method for ourselves. Condensing where it's possible and organizing, sorting, getting things to work out. But looking for perspective... needing to see if others have had the same issue(s) and how they've worked with them/resolved them?

thea-.livejournal.com

So, who here doesn't consider themselves to have experienced the "classic" trama-model of multiple personalities? When did you first know? How did you first know? What are some of the biggest misunderstandings that people have about you?

mercuryisme.livejournal.com

For those of you that embraced, or at least acknowledged and were aware of your multiplicity long ago:

Do you think this awareness "created" more personalities (allowed them to be born, or however you'd like to describe it), let personalities come out of the woodwork, stop being shadows, or-

Did you find that as you became more aware of the extent of the multiplicity, your system became comprised of fewer and fewer members?

The main question, in simple terms: Did fully realizing that you were part of a system create in any way MORE personalities or LESS personalities? Did this answer surprise you?

Any way you can find to answer these questions, any thoughts you have on this topic, or any way to revise this question would be of great help. This isn't for any sort of study, just my curiosity.

As always, this was not meant to be degrading in any way. I have a hard time explaining questions I have about multiplicity because I'm not a multiple, so bear with me.

- Laurr

Current Mood: curious

uforeah.livejournal.com

Hello,

I am new to this community and I had a question for you all.

How do you know if you are multiple? I realize that it can vary depending on the person and the situation but I would really like to have some insight.

I am fairly certain that I am, and that the people I hear and see in my head aren't fake but I would like to know if there is any sort of checklist (for lack of a better word) that can help me see.

Also, if its not too personal to ask, how did some of you discover what you were?

Thank you!!

All of me.

purplellamaboi.livejournal.com

I'm just curious as to how everyone came to learn that they were multiples? I've often wondered how one comes to learn this fact, and what sparked ths realization.

Also, are there cases where a core personality is so strong that any others that might want to show themselves are "shut down" and cannot express themselves? Why would this be the case?

And lastly: are there cases where the personality at the front (no matter which one it is) is aware of everything that's gone on with the host body but may not remember being the one to have done it (ie: extreme case of short term memory)?

Current Mood: curious

my-name-is-jack.livejournal.com

( Maybe There's More to Me Than Just Me )

Current Mood: confused

happyberserk.livejournal.com

I just watched the movie "Identity". Don't read further if you want to watch the movie without it being spoiled. And then tell me what you think about it.

It is about a guy with MPD who does not know he has multiple personalities, and one of his personalities is a little 5 year old kid who is an angry serial killer. Would that even be possible?
I don't know why but when i watch movies, i always have that weird feeling in my spine when I understand all the movie (you know, when you don't get what's happening at all and then there's THE one sentence and everything becomes clear?). In this movie, it is when the guy with MPD is in front of all those people who are talking to him about that serial killer who has MPD, and he's like, "why are you telling me all this?" and they say, "because you are one of his personalities".
Also i cried when the guy switches, and when he hears the voice of one of his personalities in his head. I don't know why i get so sensitive about movies.
If any of you saw it, what is your opinion?

Current Mood: weird
Current Music: somewhere over the rainbow => queen

angie-the-red.livejournal.com

I have never been in therapy, and to be honest, I doubt I ever will. I frequent a survivor community and thus have discussions with, and read posting by a few plurals, and some of the things I hear really makes me wonder about myself. So, I am still looking, and pondering, and reading, and questioning the possibility of plurality in myself.

If this isn't too obtrusive (and feel free to tell me if it is), I have some general questions. I was wondering how you became aware of the others? What made you wonder if there were others? Do they usually share with each other?

Perhaps it will help if I share some of my own experiences.

There are times when people will relay discussions I had with them, that I have absolutely no recollection of, and would swear never happened. So if there are others, then one of them doesn't like to share.

But the biggest thing that has me questioning is that at other times I seem to be having what I can best describe as an out of body experience, but in my body. It's like I'm in the back seat of a car that someone else is driving. I hear and see and say things, but I'm wondering where these things are coming from and why I'm saying them, because it's not what I want my mouth to be saying, or my behavior to be doing. Like someone else is driving. And if I *really* think about it, then I could even venture to say that most of the time, that driver is the same person...but not me.

I'm sure you have all heard and answered these questions a million times, so please forgive me. I do read, but find that actually talking to others help a whole lot more.

Current Mood: curious

egyptian-spider.livejournal.com

Okay.. I've noticed a pattern of things that happens when a person wakes up here.. For a day or two before the person arrives, a name will be repeated in our head repeatedly, as if someone's whispering it in our ear over and over. We'll also get a "feeling" or energy signature to go with the name.

Eventually, we'll notice that there's a new person.. And when

switchboardgirl runs a trace on the new person, we find out that it's the person who matches the energy signature and name that we had been getting/feeling for the day or two beforehand.

This has happened repeatedly, most recently with

bubbly_sunshine and her siblings, and with our newest resident, Thomas.. For example, when Cecelia was being introduced, we heard her name over and over, while getting this feeling of just general happy-go-lucky-ness (is that a word??) and joy. Which is -exactly- how Cecelia feels.

And now, with Thomas, we got his name, and a feeling of a very gentle, chivalrous, and honorable person. I'd say that he almost feels like what we'd imagine a medieval knight to feel like, energy-wise.

It's almost as if the person who is entering our system is introducing themselves, to prevent the other residents here from getting surprised or upset when they finally show up.

My question is.. Does anyone else's system have this same introduction process? *laughs* I honestly would just chalk it up to coincidence, but it's happened one too many times for my comfort.

(crossposted to my journal)

Current Mood: curious

nematoddity.livejournal.com

Hey.

For these past several months I haven't been checking in to a lot of my communities, because I've been without steady computer access. So here, among many others, I just haven't been reading the daily entries, and I'm sorry about that.

Because...something's come up. Maybe.

We're not sure yet, but we think someone's awake. My partner Cat pointed the possibility out to me this morning, and I broke down and told her that for the past week or so, I've been having episodes of missing time, blackouts, an increase in insomnia, an excess in sleeping...things that aren't necessarily out of my pattern, but things that haven't been a steady part of the pattern for a few years or more. And this time I'm mostly aware of all of it.

I hadn't told her yet, because I was trying to figure out if it really was someone else awake, and if so, who; also, I was trying to figure out if it was someone else awake, or some other medical problem mimicking the signs.

Jury's still out. This is what we have:

-Got woken up out of a sound sleep by a small voice saying "Hello". Couldn't hear anything outside, it didn't repeat, but I had the definite feeling it hadn't been an external call but an internal one.

-Roommate took the top of my head off for coming upstairs and walking over a bowl and a spoon in the middle of the kitchen floor without picking them up. My memory of the event is me thinking, hmm, I could eat something, and then there's a patch of nothingness, no memory, and then I'm sitting downstairs in the big chair with some chicken and iced tea. Whereupon I ate. Because I'm not sure if my roommate remembers I'm a multiple, or at least used to be, I didn't want to hash out the possibility with her. Which left me basically shrugging like an idiot saying, 'Gee, don't know how I could have missed it, sorry.'

-Apparently 'I' woke up my partner couple days back, speaking in a very small, very childish voice, about losing something in the blankets. When she surfaced enough from sleep to interact and spoke to me, I spoke to her blearily in my 'normal' voice, telling her to go back to sleep. I don't remember either communication. (This in itself is not unusual; I frequently dream vocally.)

-More than once over the past few weeks I've felt this weird sort of 'doubling' effect--as if I'm not the only one looking out of my eyes. Since this is the first time I'm consciously aware of the effect, it's kind of unnerving, and doesn't give me any information about who else is back there.

Individually, it could just be further evidence of some other problem. Taken together...I'm pretty sure someone else is awake, but I don't know where to go from here.

Anyone wanting to chime in is more than welcome to, but I'm not so much looking for a solution as I am looking for validation.

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: "People Who Died", the Jim Carroll Band

tigrin.livejournal.com

hey everyone... I've been debating about posting here for a while... I've been lurking for maybe a few weeks now and figured I should introduce myself. or something.

my name is Krystina and I'm 16 years old... ( Read more... )

I guess the real point of this pointless introduction is... how do you know? how do you know if it's just mood swings or teen angst or an ear infection or not? would it be better for me to go with it and try and find out more about who I really am, or ignore it and write it off as just me being weird and making a big deal out of nothing? hard questions, sorry... I'm not asking for a diagnosis or anything, just your opinions... thank you for reading, anyway.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Alanis Morissette - Precious Illusions

gelabean.livejournal.com

X-posted to fragmentedminds, 20plusbipolar, bipolarsurvival and spiralpauper

Intro - I am a 26 year old female with bipolar disorder (Mixed Episodes). Past history of psychosomatic symptoms including a diagnosis of psychosomatic seizures. This community was recommended to me. I hope that I will be welcome. Also I do not drink or take recreational drugs.

very bizarre thing happened to me less than 24 hrs ago. Please don't judge - I am trying to figure this out and cope with it right now.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Feelin' the Same Way-Norah Jones-Come Away With Me

weare.livejournal.com

*sorry about the cross post...I joined three communities at the same time :)*

Hello, my name is Jessica though most of my friends call me Jessie. I found out I was multiple about a year ago...though it turns out that some friends and family (the few I have felt comfortable enough to speak to about it) have known for years! They never said anything because they thought I knew. *sigh*

Anyways, a lot has changed in the past year. And, after much debate (with my others and my husband and myself) I realize that it's time I stopped being afraid of my others and embrace them. No, I don't mean integration (I don't feel that would be best for us...neither do they) but rather becoming a healthy system. Basically, the thought is that if I allow my others to come out and do things that They like then maybe I won't lose time so much and my life will become a little more stable.

Well, to keep a long story from taking up too much space on your friends pages....

I found this group and two others and decided that if I'm truly going to help myself and my others than talking with and reading about people who understand would be helpful to me. I started this particular journal (weare) as a form of self-therapy and sometimes my others will come out and say some things. They're usually good about signing their name though sometimes they forget (and so do I).

Ok...I should go now. I've rambled on enough. hehe Thanks for listening. :)

Current Mood: content

epitomeof-crazy.livejournal.com

Wow. I really hope that I don't offend anyone by being here, and please forgive my use of terms because they might not be completely correct.

I don't actually have multiple personalities (that I'm aware of), but the main reason that I joined the community is because the subject fascinates me, and I would love to learn more about it. Who better to ask than those that have first hand experience with it right?

One question I have in particular would be how did you (your core identity) figure out/discover there were more identities? I have lots of questions other than that but I don't like to bombard people I haven't gotten to know yet, with tons of questions. I think it's a bit rude. Thanks. :)

- Kae <3

Edit: Here's another question for everyone. Where did the names of the identities in your systems come from? (Those that have names anyways) I don't really know how to word that, because I am aware that not all names are made up, but just are. If that makes sense.

Current Mood: curious

paganmommy.livejournal.com

I considered that maybe, since I didn't get a "majority" of "yays" that I should pull out, but that isn't giving people enough credit, and is terribly unfair, so I guess I am here. :)

I have a question though. Was anyone here toying with the possibility of DID before actually meeting any of your Alters? Before anyone else got to meet them properly?

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Multiplicity

Being Plural

Entries tagged with discovery

rambling...no ranting, just confused rambling

from Mei, the anorexic head case.

question

Connundrums?

kf

Question for Systems

Question

Questions of Curiosity

Confused and Scared

"Identity"

Introduction

So.. here's a question..

not made of stone but moving as slow

(no subject)

split

Intro