multiplicity_archives | Entries tagged with subjective experience

systematique72.livejournal.com

hey there. we've been lurking here for about a month now, and wanted to introduce ourselves. (waves) we're still trying to figure our system out...nick, the main frontrunner, thought he was alone in here 'til i started talking to him the summer of '05. came as a total shock to him, but he's been a real trooper about it. :) there's probably a half-dozen others or so too, but they don't talk as much as nicky and i do, and i think there's even a bunch more that are kind of "in the shadows". they haven't come out at all yet.

anyways, reason i wanted to post was to ask about a weird thing we've been experiencing for a while now, and see what you all think of it. ( touch me once, touch me twice )

ok, later. thanks for reading.
~wendy

Current Music: tokyo jihen - gunjou biyori

faithlessfate.livejournal.com

has anyone else ever realized they had no backround of their own, and had it bother them? It's something I've always thought about to some extent, but with a baby coming(my wife is pregnant) it's really beginning to come to the surface.

I know WHAT I am, as far as species and things, but I have no parents, no history, no heritage to pass on. I've no nationality, or anything like that, not even a base religious experience.

anyone know what this is like?

Faith
Pack Collective

flamingmuffins.livejournal.com

Okay, I hate to sound perverted, but I'm just curious. Honestly.

For start, I'm not really sure what to call the 'alters' in multiples. I know everybody uses different reference; headmates, splits, etc. I call them soulbonds because that's what they are to me. More than one soul in the same body. So that's what I'll use.

( Anyway... )

Thanks.

-Iris

Current Mood: curious
Current Music: Gravity, by A Perfect Circle

aww-my-bees.livejournal.com

I had an out of body experience in the early hours of this morning. It's happened to me since I was fifteen, but this time Eddie was there, we were in what appeared to be a record store, and there were five other 'beings' with him, standing around him almost like bodyguards.
I was so happy to see him, and went to give him a cuddle, but the other 'beings' wouldn't let me get to him, and he hasn't fronted for a few days - I'm getting worried for him.
He didn't seem distressed but at the same time didn't seem to notice I was there either.
Steve has told me that he doesn't know what's going on with Eddie either, but he hasn't 'disappeared'
I didn't recognise the other 'beings' as any of them being Nikki, Jay or Steve either.
Wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar, without Eddie me and especially Steve feel incredibly vunerable.

magickalmacleod.livejournal.com

we have 36 hour days inside the honeycomb, so it makes it much easier to live outside lives, because it's longer between times wanting to be out (if any of that makes sense)...

for those who do live more than one, how do y'all do it?

timothymcdonald.livejournal.com

Umm I don't know if this is really the sort of thing to post about, but David said to go ahead and see.

I've seen people post about their 'systems' and the environment in which they operate. Ray has always been very much in MY world. It's like we should have been twins but there was only one body and I got it by virtue of being 'born' first.

Anyway, I'm not good in social situations. I've always been rather introverted and shy. I like people, I like parties, I'm just no good at the small talk, mixing thing. Being a vet at Christmas and New Year David gets invited to a lot of gatherings especially New Year and I go along. In the last three years or so people have accepted us as a couple. Ray always 'fronts' he's good at mixing and small talk and a bit of a flirt with the ladies, which has led to some funny and not so funny situations.

When he's fronting I feel like I'm watching my body operate. He holds himself differently to me so *I* seem taller, he makes hand gestures, is much more confident and David says his language and speech pattern is different to mine, though voice and accent stay the same.

I wondered if any one had a similar experience?

Tim and Ray

fayanora.livejournal.com

Okay, a lot has happened since we last posted here. The most important thing that happened, as far as the context of this message is concerned, ( background )

( Alexander was corrupted and twisted by a dark creature )

So my question is, do any of you have any advice on rebuilding a system mate? Any advice from other mid-continuum multiples would be especially helpful.

Thank you.

freakshownia.livejournal.com

If you are the main front (or one of them) do you ever wish that you could just step back, and let others take over? And just be completely cut off, not watching the action or anything.

I do. Life is stressful, and sometimes I just want time off. But then that seems unfair - singlets can't "take a break" and let others control their body while they're away.

What do you think? If other people in your system are willing to take control while you're gone, is it still "fair"?

[Edit: The reasoning behind this is because I have heard singlets mention that they wish they could do the same, but obviously they can't. I guess it's silly to think of this in terms of fairness, but this is just something that occured to me.]

linnai.livejournal.com

Does anyone else ever deal with the situation where some of your siblings/family/headmates or whatever are very consistent and very just... stable in their identity, their voices, looks, the way they respond to situations and then... others are so inconsistent they can hardly be identified half the time? ( If you're at all interested )Anyhow... we just need... help? We're really discombobulated right now and just... bouncing all over the place.

stealthdragon.livejournal.com

If you're able to access memories from when someone else is in control of the body you share, do they tend to include a feeling of 'the general sensation of being person X'? If so, how does it influence your use of the memories?

(If the question is unclear, feel free to ask about it. This is one of those posts where English is fairly inadequate.)

x--madhatter.livejournal.com

Ah, hello ... I'm Jade, and .. yeah. I .. recently found out (well, months ago) I am a multiple. Rather, I knew something of it last year, but never really acknowledged it until recently because all I knew of was the textbook case of it (will not say the d word. T T). Given that I only recently found out, I have a small system, but it's been growing in number rapidly lately ...

There are two things I'd like to ask ... answers would be greatly appreciated, of course ..

( One .. )

( Two ... this is .. really sad )

elusivedreamers.livejournal.com

I figured out I'm a magic bus. :) Well, that's where the others are at least.. or that's what I picture... whatever!
( Read more... )

Current Mood: cheerful

draegonhawke.livejournal.com

I'm putting this forth not because I think it's the One True Reason, but because it's a possibility that interests me and I'd like to hear discussion and opinions.

It's something that's grown out of my response to people who think it's crazy that I have fanfic characters in my brain on occasion, or who don't understand how I can process two contradictory interpretations for one character at the same time, and it's something that helps me to understand when people say that they have a character from a TV series or a game or a book or whathaveyou as part of their system; it also helps me understand how two different systems may have the same person within them.

( It has to do with understanding the soul as an abstraction.... )

Thoughts? Comments? Corrections or questions?

jaga-system-.livejournal.com

Reading about the discussions on co-consciousness, it sparked a reminder of some thoughts I've pondered about from time to time. I'm not even sure I can accurately describe them, but I will do my best. I suppose it might be philosophical or just "deep," where my brain can't fully wrap around it. Sort of like, how and why is it possible? Of course I mainly accept it just is what it is, but has anyone delved further into how in the heck it is possible that co-consciousness and blurring can happen? Sometimes we go there and it is just...hmmm.... no words can quite describe the feelings as I/we try to grasp ahold of the deeper hows and whys, etc. I guess I'm wondering on a scientific basis, spiritual basis, or well, from any sort of frame of reference. The mind and body are so intriguing.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Happy Rhodes, "Cohabitants"

monozukineko.livejournal.com

Hello, all. This is my (our?) first time posting to the community, though I'm a long-time watcher.

Doing a little poking and prodding around my system (one original multiple, two soulbonds), and in the last 20 minutes have redefined what sort of system it is, as well as discovered one lost 'tenant' and noticed that one other has... 'phased' is the best word I can come up with... from one name and 'face' to another, but is still essentially the same personality.

Okay, rewording the question:

Has anyone else out there 'looked away' for a time, then come back to discover one of their bonds/personalities has become a new person, but their essential personality has not changed in the slightest? I'm finding it to be an interesting phenomenon.

Current Mood: curious

fayanora.livejournal.com

When I was a kid, my subjective world overlapped the real one quite a lot, and my imagination was very active. So active that I never really grew out of it. However, The War against my "evil" side (combined with previous explorations into the challenging "real world") pushed me into a state where I exiled myself to only one room of my inner world... the Dark Playground. It's a desolate place, with few denizens (most of which live in the shadows) and a blood red sky with some black in it. Some ghosts haunt it, and the dried dead leaves blow around in the wind, whispering as they do. The gate is rusted shut, but I have the power to open it now. And everything is covered with a layer of age and disuse, as though they were tangible things. The ground isn't much better, being made of broken-up concrete.

( Under the cut because it is very long )

So to summerize, I discovered today that I am NOT an "internal dichotomy split." I was NOT one mind until 1998. I am a Natural Multiple, with a whole universe in my mind. Oh, and I am also a Median, which in case you don't know what that means, is defined here: http://astraeasweb.net/plural/glossary.html

Anyone else here have a subjective world of their own? Anyone else a Median?

Chaotic Blessings;
---Fayanora

X-posted to

beyondthegates,

adultchild

ex-visual-sy218.livejournal.com

For those of you who are co-conscious...

How big is your perception change when there's more than one of you at the front?

There are times that I can't tell who does what, and it's confusing the hell out of me.

colligocarus.livejournal.com

I've been doing some research on what exactly people believe multiplicity is and isn't. I've read every website I can find and much of the literature, and still the questions remain unanswered (or answered in too many widely variant ways).

On the internet/web, people keep expanding or revising the term "multiplicity" to make it mean seemingly very disparate things. In the medical community, only if you correspond to the DSM IV classification of DID or DDNOS can you possibly be considered multiple, IF the doctor in question believes in multiplicity, something which is becoming more and more uncommon.

What is authentic multiplicity? How do you discern it from wishful thinking, delusion, fakery, etc? Is there a definition of multiplicity that means something, or is it just a nonsense word, all sound and fury?

How does "soulbonding" (in the new sense) compare to more traditional multiplicity in actual living? Is "soulbonding" actual multiplicity, a form of fantasy/wish fulfillment, or something else entirely?

How much do "survivorwhine" (to use Amorpha's term) and "non-disordered" multiples really have in common? Is it even the same kettle of fish?

Why the enmity between the "natural" and "trauma-based" multiple? Why the enmity between disordered and non-disordered multiples?

Is natural multiplicity the same as multiplicity caused by trauma at the base level? Are we actually witnessing two distinctly different phenomena which are only similar in appearance?

Categories and labels exist to help us classify and give meaning to the phenomena we observe. What does the label "multiple" or "plural" actually mean?

stealthdragon.livejournal.com

That isn't a jab at a previous poster, by the way. ;)

This is one of those times when I look back at my (and our) previous states, and feel crazy by comparison.

I - the Analyst - allegedly the rational-minded one in the system (isn't it nice to have a job description as the only name you're comfortable with - so limiting at times, but also so true and relatively safe) have been mucking about with totemic 'magic' in the past couple months. On the one hand, I'm pretty firmly convinced that the entire business is inside my head. On the other, someone or something seems to have taken advantage of the opportunity to move into my system, or possibly just make themself known.

He (definately a masculine presence) happens to be a shoggoth, and apparently my totem 'animal'. This is Weird.
He also has a personal name, which is unusual in a system where job-descriptions are more solid to just about everyone.
He hasn't fronted (yet?).

I'm rather at a loss at this point, since I wasn't expecting a response at all. I was most especially not expecting another system-member to show up. (Whether he's a soulbond or a native to the system, I have no idea. If he's native, does that change the validity of the totem-stuff?) I mean... bugger. My paradigms aren't built for this. Which is probably why I'm looking into the the subject at all, now that I think about it. ;)

I suppose the best thing to do at this point is to just go on. If he is what he says he is, stuff will continue to work. If he isn't, then it will eventually show in a way that requires me to adjust my understanding.

Wish us luck,
- An, with Ar, R, & S

annabellelaw.livejournal.com

I'm kind of two people sharing the same body. A division of mind, two personalities with some shared memories.
I read some posts in this community & go "Yes... that sounds familiar. I'm glad I'm not alone."
I read some posts and go "Riiight... nutter, nut-ter. Notjob"
This place occasionally makes me feel sane because I read things from literate inteligent people who just happen to be sharing a body with others. Occasionally it makes me feel sane because I read posts and realise that I'm a healty sane multiple, not insane like the poster.

I'll not single out any individuals (forgive the pun) but the nut-job posts I read usually ... heck. I'm not going to give examples. I think you know which ones I'm refering to.

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Multiplicity

Being Plural

Entries tagged with subjective experience

the touchy-feelies

(no subject)

Soulbond pregnancy?

help!

a question occured to me...

Has Anyone Felt Like This?

Need some advice

(no subject)

Inconsistent

(no subject)

(no subject)

The Magic Bus

A theory on abstractions

Co-consciousness and Blurring Ponderings

First time poster and a question

Mindeodean

(no subject)

Questions

Just another nutjob..

I'll probably take flack for this but...

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March 2013

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