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hiddenhikari.livejournal.com

So, this is Kayla, the host, speaking right now. I just got out of my third hospitalization where a doctor told me that I 'don't follow specific characteristics of people with multiple personalities or with dissociative identity' and said that because I can communicate with my other personalities it means that its all just my imagination and that I made it up a long time ago and have pretending for so long that it's become real. He also said that because I've never been abused that there's pretty much no way I'm MPD/DID. He basically forced me to tell him that they were all just my imagination with the threat of going to a residential treatment facility. After lying through my teeth and saying that I made it all up, he put me on some serious medication because even though he thinks its just my imagination he wants to treat me for the voices anyway. So now I can't hear them at all. None of them. Even the good ones that help me. And none of them can front or anything. I can't see them any more in my head either. Its like their whole world is just...gone. I don't know what to do with myself...
Has anyone else ever had a doctor tell them this? Or ever had this happen to them?

UPDATE: I'm gonna go ahead and answer a few of the questions and things that have been brought up and offered to me real quick.
1. Thank you all so much for you help and support! It's nice to know that at least SOMEONE doesn't think I'm a liar...
2. I do not have to see that doctor ever again. He was just the doctor for the hospital I was in at the time and not my real doctor. But he is the second doctor that's told me that same story and my real doctor barely gives me the time of day...
3. I don't need to wean myself off the drugs because the doctor is weaning me off them. After I 'admitted' that I had 'lied' he said he would slowly take me off the Risperdole or something like that, I can't spell all these crazy drug names so I just sounded that out haha
4. One specific personality, Sophie, does self-harm and is the whole reason I got sent to that hospital in the first place. TRIGGER WARNING She tried to hang herself in the school bathroom and got mobile crisis called. I've seen crisis pretty much once a week for a couple months now and none of them believe me either. Anyway, while I was at the hospital but before my doctor threatened me, I politely called Sophie out on her self-harm/suicide attempts, Shell on her bingeing/purging, Samuel on his... psychotic behaviors, and Alex on her just plain bitchyness. The whole system was upset we had to go back to the hospital and the four trouble makers finally agreed not to get in the way of living my life. When I tried to tell my doctor that they had agreed not to hurt me anymore he looked me blankly in the face and said "I do not believe a word that comes out of your mouth." I was crushed. I bawled my eyes out because I just got the difficult ones to finally cooperate and now I was being told that it didn't even matter. So I'm hoping that once the doctor takes me completely off the medication they'll slowly come back. Even after one day without the medicine (because my parents haven't picked up my refill yet) I already got a little bit of communication with two of them again. Lizzy said that they didn't leave me, the medicine just made them all very tired.

I'll update again once my doctor gets me completely off the new medicine and let everyone know if our system goes back to normal. It's been really helpful to hear that so many other people know what I'm going through!

Also, it's a little strange that the doctor there knew so little about MPD/DiD considering there was a girl in the hospital with me who was actually diagnosed DiD, but she had a completely opposite kind of system than mine. She only new three or four of their names, she didn't hear them talk to her, and when she would switch no one could even tell. It seemed like she didn't switch one time all week, whereas I was switching a bunch of times a day.

Update:
So I saw my therapist yesterday (a good one, that actually believes me and stuff) and after I told him everything that happened he was like "That douchebag..." and was super apologetic about what happened to me there. Then we started talking about why everyone left the headspace. The doctor at the hospital said it was because "I finally told the truth" but I thought it was the medication. My therapist thinks everyone was just scared I was going to make them all leave and we both agreed that we wouldn't try to get rid of them, and we would focus on making sure that if I need to, I can take back control if one of them goes back on what they promised. And we agreed not to talk to my parents about any of this because my dad is super against the thought of me being a multiple, he's against me being different in any way at all...oh well though, as long as I know my therapist believes me and we're on the same page with where we want to go with this, I can see a silver lining after all! He said he might want to keep me on the medicine after all because apparently its just for stabilizing my mood, not getting rid of the voices, which just promotes his thought that the others were just scared. I've been trying to reopen communication with them, telling them that they are real and not to believe what that mean doctor said and stuff and telling them that our therapist believes in them. I've started hearing about five of them again. So far I've gotten back Jack, Lizzy, Shell, Alex, and Logan. Maybe in time the others will return too.
Thanks to everyone that's been commenting on my story and being so helpful about help getting off the medicine (which I don't need to do anymore thankfully!) and just giving me a kind word and believing me! It's really been helpful, but after that session yesterday I think things are really going to work out after all :)

Current Mood: Happy
Current Location: My bedroom
Current Music: My dad's terrible music in the background

itsa-wallaby.livejournal.com

Hey all,

Just FYI, the link to Many Voices in the User Info page is slightly off. It's written as http://www.manyvoicespress.com but it should really be http://www.manyvoicespress.org . The .com address does automatically redirect to the .org address, but if you have certain security settings set in your browser the redirect doesn't work.

ksol1460.livejournal.com

naminess has requested a

multiplicity membership. Given their membership on snark communities, particularly on stupid_free, I'd like to run this by the other mods first. Does anyone know these people/this person or why they want to be on the community?

Current Mood: wet (rain!)
Current Music: occupy wall street livefeed

ksol1460.livejournal.com

Whatever is posted in this community or by whom is by definition not spam unless it is obviously something like "nice post, visit www.drillbits.com".

Off topic posts are allowed. Remember that in a large community dedicated to multiplicity, one that often discusses multiplicity in relation to everyday life, what looks off topic to one person or group might be relevant to someone& else.

***

That's what I want to say, running it by everybody before I post it.

Current Mood: awake

sethrenn.livejournal.com

As of today, there's now a new community,

multi_dispute. We're hoping that it will resolve a lot of the confusion about who to contact if there's a problem on the community, and the problems it's caused in the past.

At this point:

-Membership is moderated, but we'll almost certainly let you in if you're a member of

multiplicity. The only situation under which we would turn down a request for membership is if you've been banned from this community for a specific reason. Only members can view the community posts, though (I think we can agree we'd really all rather not have people staking out the community just because they want to find drama to report on).

-Basically, the purpose of it is so people can have a specific place to request mod intervention, if a problem has arisen or they want to request arbitration for a dispute/ban/etc. We thought it would be easier to have a community to post in, when problems do arise, than for members to have to PM 5 or 6 separate accounts. We check LJ more often than we check our email, which I believe is true for some of the other mods as well, so the quickest way to get a message to us is to have it pop up on our friends list.

-Posts are moderated and require approval before being shown to non-mod community members. The reason for this is because the nature of some people's problems may require them to disclose personal information that they don't want the rest of the community to see, or they may fear harassment from a specific person. Tentatively, we're going to start out making all posts visible unless you specify in your message that you don't want it to be seen by others. (I won't go into detail, but this kind of situation has happened in the past.)

-If you're having a dispute with another person or system, we encourage you to see if you can work it out with them before posting to

multi_dispute; however, we also understand that in cases where harassment, bullying and intimidation are taking place, trying to reason it out with the other party is often not possible. And we definitely don't want anyone to feel as though they can't post on the community because of the behavior of one specific person or system.

We've had some fairly in-depth talks with

ksol1460 over the past day about the need for people to feel that they don't have to "fight their own battles" and be left without allies. I, personally, definitely don't want people to feel as though they're alone, unprotected, and can't ask for help-- we felt silenced for years about a lot of issues because we couldn't get our head around the idea that we had the right to protection from abuse of any kind. And I think most people here would probably agree that this community has a higher-than-average number of abuse survivors-- not because I believe all multiplicity arises from abuse or anything, but because there still is a large crossover between the multiple and survivor communities online, and some people are abused specifically because they're plural-- by family, by peers, by partners or by doctors. And when a community is likely to have a lot of survivors in it, I do think, nowadays, that it's especially important to remind people that they aren't alone, and that it can be done in a way that isn't "whiny" or about "coddling people," or catering to victim complexes, etc.

Okay, on to the second half of this post, which is about trying to lay down new rules about exactly what kind of behavior is considered unacceptable here, and what actions will be taken if someone does these things.

These rules were proposed by Fenners^Kerry, but the rest of us agreed that they sound reasonable, and we would like others' input about them.

Behaviour that can lead to a warning or ban:

Insulting comments and posts ('you asshole', 'you always cause trouble in the community')
Threats
Identifiable passive-aggressive attacks
Snark that appears to have a specific target

Here's what I'm proposing as a disciplinary system:

Three warnings on insulting or offensive posts and comments. After the third warning, a five-day temporary ban/suspension will be placed on the person/system in question.
The second time someone commits a bannable offence, the suspension time will be increased to two weeks. The third temporary suspension will be for a month.
Permanent bans will be issued if the people in question refuse to modify their behaviour even after three temp bans.

There was also some discussion about whether individuals or entire groups should be suspended/banned. I'm currently not sure what my opinion on that is, but

fairly has suggested that if members of a group have individual journals, they should be warned/suspended/banned on an individual basis, unless everyone in the group has been participating in the same bad behavior. On the other hand, if the entire group uses one account, and one person in it has been persistently breaking comm rules, there would be no choice but to suspend/ban the group account.

I do understand that a lot of this stuff-- like what does and doesn't qualify as snark or as a threat-- can be subjective at times, and so I also think people should have an opportunity to defend themselves in the more ambiguous cases. I'm hoping that

multi_dispute can be used for that kind of thing, when there really is genuine disagreement among community members about whether someone was unfairly snarking/insulting/threatening, or someone feels they have a convincing case that they were wrongly warned or suspended.

Anyway, I'd like to know what others think of these suggestions, if they're fair or unfair, and, if someone thinks they could improve on them, what improvements they would make.

~Riel

ETA: I've been reminded by a system mate that

fenners posted a slightly more refined version of the rules I just posted above, in a previous post in this community.

( I think I'm about to go over the post length limit, so I'll LJ-cut this. )

myorp.livejournal.com

Seeing as there hasn't been significant activity on here, or a policy post on the main comm for quite a bit now, and even when we had activity on here, it doesn't seem to me that there have been any responses by the mod team, outside of the one post by

sethrenn, and that quickly died, that it would be good to get the discussion of policy rolling again.

So here are some questions for the moderators to hopefully encourage just that:

1) Where do the new rules stand? Are they being modified for clarity? The confusion about the wording as discussed here would seem to warrant at least some basic rewrites.

2) Once they are finalized, where will the new rules be posted? I'm guessing a post on Multiplicity with a permanent link on the userinfo about it being the disciplinary policy?

3) Now that everything has died down on the comm, and new rules are presumably in the process of being implemented, have the temporary suspensions been removed? At this point, we are wondering if some of the more active members might have been among the temporary suspendees. Have any of those members been allowed to join in the discussion here on multipolicy? It seems like that would be a good thing at this point, as they have been directly affected and their viewpoint on the process would be invaluable.

I think of all of these, the most important to address is where the mods are in the process of getting the proposed changes modified, and when will those be submitted to this comm for discussion?

~Kent for Puzzles.

Current Mood: wondering

pyraxis

New post, fresh start.

This is to continue the conversations that got started in the last post about how to manage conflict in a community where many of the people and groups involved are dealing with intense reactions.

pyraxis

Apologies if I'm out of line here, but I just wanted to create an initial space for people to discuss policy, in an attempt to get debates moved off

multiplicity and here into the place that's meant for it. There seem to be a lot of conversations happening on individual journals and it would be good to bring them together.

- Pyraxis

ksol1460.livejournal.com

If you ask me, Myorp are right. I will not make excuses for any of the admins, but there has been serious lack of communication between our groups, which has resulted in a lot of things neglected that should have been attended to promptly.

This community is for people who want to discuss being multiple. You can talk about how you are multiple, learn from others how they are multiple similarly or differently from you, get advice or examples that might benefit your system. All without worrying about whether you are doing it "right" or having to live up to anyone else's standards. We're here to discuss being multiple, not to get into endless and useless arguments.

The bullying has to stop, the snarking has to stop, and the dropping of little innocent-seeming phrases that are really meant to put others on the defensive and cause lengthy and fruitless argument. All of that, out.

If you can't discuss multiplicity -- be it natural multiplicity, otherkin, soulbonding/fictives, MPD/DID, whatever -- in a courteous, civilized manner, you will be banned. God knows I don't like to be a hard ass about this stuff, but this has gone far enough.

I'm getting complaints from people who simply don't feel they can write about their experiences in this community. My guess is that there are plenty of others who have left quietly because they don't feel they belong in the community as it is now.

I am meeting with both the Fenners and Amorpha this evening to discuss exactly who, what and how.

ksol1460.livejournal.com

http://lupusfabula.livejournal.com/profile

I'm looking at the other communities they are members of -- some plural stuff and a lot of snark shit. Now are they snarky plurals or snarking at plurals, that I do not know. It just sent up a caution flag and I couldn't find anyone on line who knew them, so I thought I'd shoot it by you guys. I thought approve but keep an eye on.

Current Music: Star*Next "Who Watches the Watchers"

freddie2431.livejournal.com

I did get one good thing out of therapy....or, partly it was therapy.
I do think that I would have been better off, having gotten the information out of books. But I don't know, that's water under the bridge. Everyone who knows me, knows I feel therapy did me a great deal of harm.

But anyway. The one thing it did give me, was the notion that *just maybe* my memories were of things that had really happened, and not just a lot of evil sinfulness that I was making up because the devil had ahold of me....and yadda yadda, I'm sure you've heard the rest of *that* evangelical bullsh******t.

Later, when my stepdad was elderly and diabetic and in my mom's care, I saw some things re-enacted, and I knew for absolutely sure that no, I hadn't made it up or exaggerated it.

Meanwhile, though, I do think that the thought of 'maybe I'm not lying', kept me from suicide long enough to get to that point.

I know this sounds rather along the 'disordered' rather than 'empowered' line of thought....and what I would say to that, is that I think trauma-multis have every bit as much right to empower ourselves, as....well, anyone else. I would compare it to losing one's hearing in adulthood, and joining the deaf community as a fully empowered and whole person. (And I do know there are some rifts in the deaf community, just like there are in the multiple community. I'm just sayin', I feel like those rifts are pretty useless.)

itsa-wallaby.livejournal.com

I've been wondering lately whether these other people in my head are actual people or if they're just me being dissociative, and how to figure it out. My therapist refuses to entertain the possibility that they're actual people, so no help there. Can anyone think of some way to find out..? Or is this one of those "only you can tell" sorts of things?

-Sean

EDIT: Look, the therapist comment was just to say that I'm not getting any help from him. He does NOT affect the fact that I don't know whether I'm just dissociating or if they're real people, and this question would have probably been asked with or without him. I have a lot of issues to deal with, and I am not seeing him for multiplicity, it only comes up because I told him about it once and he asks about it if we run out of other things to talk about. He's even told me that it's okay if I don't believe him. His stance is that they are dissociation, not people, and that there is a reason why they are there, and that I need to ask them until they give me an answer other than "well, why are *you* here?" I disagree with him about the question, but I do not know what to think about whether they're dissociation-induced or real people. Some days I believe they're real, some days not. Today, for example, I do believe they are real and separate people and that I'm not even the first one who was here. Two days ago, I believed we were all the same person and that I was dissociating sometimes, and sometimes "I" even thought that while talking to others or while being someone else.

I appreciate all your comments, I really do, just please leave my therapist out of it, because he has very little to do with this question.

lige2431.livejournal.com

I have a new coming-out blog over on Blogspot - it's around coming out gay, but that's certainly not all there is to it. What it *is* about one hundred percent of the time, is individuality and the value of independent thought. I think (hope) it's also funny, at least part of the time.
Funny part of the time, thought-provoking all the time. (If it's not, then I'm doing something wrong.)

Pyraxis found the link for me, and it's

http://opinionsimnotentitledto.blogspot.com/

If anyone would like to give it a look-see, there it is.

marikunin.livejournal.com

Mostly due to Nathan being brutally honest with me.

Basically, the fact that I had 80+ soulbonds/others in my head was a strain on my emotions. As in he thinks it's why I had a breakdown. Nathan said that he was surprised that I had held on for so long. Now, Nathan is also a multiple. And he had the same problem that I did.

So yesterday evening-after the Arceus movie where besides his voice being dumb I enjoyed it-I sent about...*thinks* 16 or 17 to Jordan's mind to live there and sent 5 to Melissa's mind to live there. :3 I'm keeping 38...*notices that all but two of her others are in her mind and only 2 went to Jordan's mind* Huh. And then the rest...(like 21 or so...)...I'm...*thinks of how to put it* I'm reabsorbing them? They'll kind of...become a part of me...I...guess....

I didn't originally want to do it, but all my others and soulbonds kind of agreed that the fact that there were so many of them was hurting me emotionally/mentally and the ones that are going to be absorbed understand and don't really mind...

Which I don't get. But...it won't be painful for them or anything...really, the ones I'm reabsorbing are soulbonds from, like, watching a movie or a random TV show.

...I know that there are multiples that have a TON of people in their minds and function fine, but the way I form bonds with my others/soulbonds is so that I can really only have a certain number before it starts to affect me negatively. Which...well...I was getting to be very emotionally unstable. Which is bad.

....Yeah. So...that's really it. *hugs you guys* ...Anyway, comment if you can/want...:3

-Mary of the Black Sunflower Collection

marikunin.livejournal.com

Have any of you ever formed pathways into another person's mind? We talk to two people every single day on the phone-they're multiple as well-and thus our others and soulbonds freely travel between minds...just wondering.
-Mary of the Black Sunflower Collection (which is...nearly/at least 60 O.o)

stars-and-tea.livejournal.com

I've been obsessing over it since I finally saw it a few days ago. I think everyone around me is getting sick of me going on about it.

( cut for spoilers )

myorp.livejournal.com

So the other day we were driving home from work, listening to one of our favorite radio stations and it goes to commercial. We weren't paying attention so we didn't tune away like we normally do and are we ever glad we didn't!!

I think it was the second commercial and the familiar voice of the spokesman for Central Bank, a local bank headquartered here in Jefferson City, Missouri.

He said something like this(imagine it being spoken in a slightly "down home" accent):

"Hello again folks! From time to time we here at Central Bank like to dig into the mailbag and see what our customers are saying, and recently we got this letter: 'Hi, my name's Steve and I have multiple personalities! We were wanting to know if its possible to set up a bank account for each one of us so we can manage our finances better?'

"Well Steve here at Central Bank we offer free checking services for all your needs(he talks about the checking features for a moment). So, whether you want separate accounts for bills and for recreation, or if you want an account for Stan, Samuel, Shirley, and James, remember, at Central Bank, we can take care of you!"

I was floored because I was expecting some kind of "punch-line" or some sort of weird intonation that made it clear that it was all just "cleverness" in advertising. But instead he finished it matter-of-factly and the whole thing felt very oddly like they had seriously had that happen and thought it made a good selling point for their free checking!

It is sort of part of a series of good simple commercials about how they can solve even somewhat obscure banking issues and I realize it likely was just a clever idea someone in marketing came up with, but the way it was presented and done made me extremely happy that there was nothing about the commercial that could really be considered prejudicial and also that we bank with them! :D

Tomorrow I think I am going to send them an email telling them how much we appreciate how cool they were to make a commercial like that and see if we can get an mp3 of it or something to share on here. I dunno what they'll say but maybe they'll appreciate the free advertising?

Heh. Anyway, thought some of you would appreciate an example of even a simple commercial that didn't show us in a negative or even "freakish" light... but rather just like any other group of customers :)

~Kent for Puzzles

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: crowded house ~ don't dream its over

very-small-box.livejournal.com

I'm part of a multiple system, and I was wondering about people's successes (or lack thereof) in fusing or integrating with one or more of their bodymates.

I fuse with Angel sometimes, which feels good while it lasts. We're more comfortable in our body as a fused entity then either or us are on our own. But it's not feasible or desirable as a permanent structure.

What have been your experiences, and the experiences of others in your system? What causes them to fuse? What causes the fused form to disintegrate?

-Baki

worldofcharlie.livejournal.com

Hiya...I don't know if it's okay to plug any communities...but I wanted to let everyone know about a new community called

plural_writers. I've noticed that in every writing community I've been in on Live Journal - there's a large number of multiples/soulbonds in them. I thought it'd be nice to have a community for folks that identify as being plural that are writers without fear/scrutiny by other folks in regular writing communities.

It's still a work in progress and I plan to update the user info page at some point. I welcome suggestions and ideas.

If you're interested, feel free to join :). This is being x-posted across various multiplicity communities...

thissharedspace.livejournal.com

Hello! We've posted here before under Mouse's journal

mousehood, but now we've made an official system journal.

Anywho, time for a seamless segue into asking for advice. The host of our system, Mouse, is a transsexual male. He identified as such many years before any of the other current active system members came along. He has the typical trans issues and desires, like 'passing.' He wants desperately for other people to see him as male, and it makes him squirm to think of others seeing him as his wrong birth sex. Very common. So he works hard at it, he binds his chest and all that, he wears clothes to hide the femininity of his body, he tries to lower his voice, he would never be caught dead holding a purse, etc. Here's where the problem is: some of us don't like it. Some of us want to express our femininity. I, for one, want a purse. And, you know, breasts would be nice. Sometimes, you know? To be able to wear the kind of girly crap I love so much? To carry around dolls in a backpack, even (and that's not even for me, that's for him-- Mouse loves dolls).

I guess we're looking for other people going through similar problems. And some advice, of course. See, Mouse has no outside obligations at present, but come Autumn, he'll be back in college, and the 'trans bi guy with solid principles' as he says, is enough of a freak-- he doesn't want to be openly multiple. I can't say I'm thrilled by the idea, either, but if it would get me a chance to express myself...

Anyway. Comments? Thank you.

-Penny

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Multiplicity

Being Plural

Recent Entries

Where did they all go?

Many Voices link wrong in the User Info page

Question about membership request

For the record: spam

Crossposting this from lj-multiplicity.

Moderator progress report?

Dealing with triggers in the multiplicity community

Space to talk

Let's remember what this community is for

Membership request from iffy group/person

The one good thing I got out of therapy (Stef)

dissociation or actual people?

Coming out as gay blog, on Blogspot.

Figured Stuff Out...

Just Wondering...

Anyone see that new movie, 9?

Wonderful Radio Ad!

Fusing

Communities for writers that identify as Plural

Transgender troubles

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March 2013

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