[identity profile] marikunin.livejournal.com
Mostly due to Nathan being brutally honest with me.


Basically, the fact that I had 80+ soulbonds/others in my head was a strain on my emotions. As in he thinks it's why I had a breakdown. Nathan said that he was surprised that I had held on for so long. Now, Nathan is also a multiple. And he had the same problem that I did.

So yesterday evening-after the Arceus movie where besides his voice being dumb I enjoyed it-I sent about...*thinks* 16 or 17 to Jordan's mind to live there and sent 5 to Melissa's mind to live there. :3 I'm keeping 38...*notices that all but two of her others are in her mind and only 2 went to Jordan's mind* Huh. And then the rest...(like 21 or so...)...I'm...*thinks of how to put it* I'm reabsorbing them? They'll kind of...become a part of me...I...guess....

I didn't originally want to do it, but all my others and soulbonds kind of agreed that the fact that there were so many of them was hurting me emotionally/mentally and the ones that are going to be absorbed understand and don't really mind...

Which I don't get. But...it won't be painful for them or anything...really, the ones I'm reabsorbing are soulbonds from, like, watching a movie or a random TV show.

...I know that there are multiples that have a TON of people in their minds and function fine, but the way I form bonds with my others/soulbonds is so that I can really only have a certain number before it starts to affect me negatively. Which...well...I was getting to be very emotionally unstable. Which is bad.

....Yeah. So...that's really it. *hugs you guys* ...Anyway, comment if you can/want...:3

-Mary of the Black Sunflower Collection
[identity profile] inmonopolus.livejournal.com
Hello!

I've been lurking at this community for some months now--you only get to make a first impression once, after all, but you all seem like really great people, so I figured I might as well.

A little bit about me, personally; my name is Theo, or Theory. (Well, my birth name is Amber, but hardly any of my friends call me that). I'm a nineteen year old, and I identify as Soulbonder/Median, in that this body is mine; I was born into it and no one else considers it 'theirs', even when they front. Also, I experience no lost time or disassociation, and most of my soulbonds (collectively, the Coterie) can be readily identified from media sources. We are, however, at least partially a trauma-connected system, but nobody here is explicitly destructive, and 99% of them can work together and resolve conflicts peaceably. Nor are we attending therapy, though we probably should be, if only to have someone to confide in about said trauma. I won't bore you guys with that here, though, no worries. <3

The whole list--with far more detail than you might care to know--is in our userinfo, but a short introduction would include Griffin (of The Invisible Man fame), Dracula (predominantly of Van Helsing fame, not Bram Stoker's), Van Helsing himself, Renfield, Vex, Q (Star Trek), the Fool (of Robin Hobb's Farseer Trilogy), Malone, Quackerjack, Nicholas Angel, and an insource, Sam, as well as myself.

And since I've got the window open, I might as well ask a quick question of you guys, open-ended, of course. How many of you match, gender-wise, the body you affiliate yourselves with? I ask mostly because I'm female, with some exceptional gender confusion of my own, and yet the Coterie is composed entirely of "masculine" persons (even the two who identify androgynous and hermaphroditic tend towards presenting--to me, at least--a masculine sense.) I'm curious. If it's too intrusive a question, of course, please tell me so.

Anyway, so! Happy to be here.

~Theo
[identity profile] coma-white-01.livejournal.com
Hey there,

Before I introduce myself, let me just start off by saying I literally had NO hope left for anything before I found this community last night. Reading through everybody's posts and such...god, I almost cried at how relieved I felt. I've read so many "MPD/DID" text books and been to a therapist and blah blah blah...and with the text books I became even more confused, because I didn't seem to fit the "text book" model of being a multiple. I was never abused, me and "my guys" are all conscious of each other, etc. So I thought, "Well, what the hell? Am I lying to myself? Why aren't I like those other multiples?" and my therapist sure didn't help any. SO...yes. This community is probably the greatest thing I've ever stumbled upon. It may have just saved my life. Now, I beleive I owe you all an introduction =)

I guess I'll start with myself:
My name is Laura and I'm 17 (18 in July!!) I have absolutely no idea which personality traits I possess. I guess I know "my guys" better than I know myself. I guess I'd be considered the "Host"...but I don't think that fits my position very well.

My guys:

-Lance: Alright...Lance is a little different. He's actually Lance Bass. From Nsync. Lance came to me when I was in 5th grade (Since I was 10). He's always with me "up front". Always. It's always half him, half me. We stand side by side. And he kind of just lives his own life. He lives in Los Angeles, California, and has his own friends, seperate from my own. He doesn't know about the rest of of my guys, and I don't think he knows about me. He looks like the actualy Lance Bass, and he's interested in most of the things he is. He just turned 28 on May 4th, and what do you know! So did the actual Lance Bass. And oh yeah, he's gay =) He was the first one here...or well, the first one to make himself known, and he's always been my partner in crime, even if he doesn't know it =)

-Noah James: Noah...hmmm, he's a handful, that's for sure. He's 19 and shares my birthday. Although once he turns 20 (In July), I'm thinking he's probably just going to stay 20. He's usually very...angry. He lashes out at my friends on the internet a lot, because he's scared of people getting close to us. He's convinced that no one cares about us, and that everyone lies to us about everything. He's been here for about 2 1/2 years, I suppose. He doesn't talk (Just types on the computer). He rarely makes any facial expressions. He likes to make people uncomfortable when he stares at them. He'll get right up in people's faces and just...stare. He's also gay. He dyes his hair funny colors (My hair has been every color of the rainbow thanks to him). He has a penpal from Russia (We're all learning Russian together), and him and her have been talking for about a year and a half now. Suprisingly, he absolutely ADORES her. I left him in charge of talking to her. He was the second one here, and he's up front pretty regularly with me and Lance.

-London: London is very sweet. Very sweet. He just likes to see everyone happy and getting along. He talks in a very sweet voice and he's very gentle. He's very lean and pale. And...he has no sexual orientation that I know of. Isn't interested in boys and isn't interested in girls. But yeah, he's kind of the "father" figure. Tries to smooth things over when they go wrong.

Joel: Ah, the newest member =) I don't know too much about him right now. Real friendly, I know that. But he's only made himself know...well, maybe a little more than a week ago. I know he has dark brown hair, bright blue eyes, and he's very pale. He enjoys painting, which he proved last night. I think he's going to be fun to have around and I can't wait to see his personality progress over time =)

Sooo...that's them. I could write pages and pages of information (except for Joel), about all of them, but I figured this is long enough as it is =D

Me and my guys look forward to talking with you all and getting to know more about you! As my title says...Finally: A place where I belong.

No longer alone,
-Us
[identity profile] matrexsvigil.livejournal.com
So, I've been wondering lately. For those of you who have mindspaces (forgive my terminology) or even whole planets/solar systems/universes inside, do you have animals? As in the average kind of animal who goes about its business acting as it should, as if it were in the real world? If so, how does that work for you?

Somehow the previous post of 'inside programs' having sentience or the right to live made me think of this.

Another thought of mine: Does anyone have any soulbonds from their own creations (as in fiction, art, etc., etc.)? If so, how has that worked for you? Would you consider these soulbonds fake or at least not as real as another type of soulbond? Any thoughts on this topic would be appreciated.

Thanks!

-P.C.

--"Off the Pink."--
[identity profile] underlankers.livejournal.com
We were thinking about the nature of reality itself. My system is having a big division over this, even though the peacekeepers such as Godzilla, Tom, and Archimedes are trying to stop this from getting out of control.
Have those of you that had other worlds gone through a phase like this one, where your system is divided on whether it is real or not and if so, how did you pass through it?
Stuart^Crew.
[identity profile] underlankers.livejournal.com
Do any of the groups on this community have soulbonds of Earthworld multiples like Truddi Chase, Doris Fischer, or Ansel Bourne?


Sorry about Vladimir Vondohn. He's a pain in the you-know-where. Please, forget all that we asked. We're going to work on our problem.
(Y. Magnus^Crew)
[identity profile] draegonhawke.livejournal.com
I'm putting this forth not because I think it's the One True Reason, but because it's a possibility that interests me and I'd like to hear discussion and opinions.

It's something that's grown out of my response to people who think it's crazy that I have fanfic characters in my brain on occasion, or who don't understand how I can process two contradictory interpretations for one character at the same time, and it's something that helps me to understand when people say that they have a character from a TV series or a game or a book or whathaveyou as part of their system; it also helps me understand how two different systems may have the same person within them.

It has to do with understanding the soul as an abstraction.... )

Thoughts? Comments? Corrections or questions?

Questions

Aug. 29th, 2005 03:17 pm
[identity profile] colligocarus.livejournal.com
I've been doing some research on what exactly people believe multiplicity is and isn't. I've read every website I can find and much of the literature, and still the questions remain unanswered (or answered in too many widely variant ways).

On the internet/web, people keep expanding or revising the term "multiplicity" to make it mean seemingly very disparate things. In the medical community, only if you correspond to the DSM IV classification of DID or DDNOS can you possibly be considered multiple, IF the doctor in question believes in multiplicity, something which is becoming more and more uncommon.

What is authentic multiplicity? How do you discern it from wishful thinking, delusion, fakery, etc? Is there a definition of multiplicity that means something, or is it just a nonsense word, all sound and fury?

How does "soulbonding" (in the new sense) compare to more traditional multiplicity in actual living? Is "soulbonding" actual multiplicity, a form of fantasy/wish fulfillment, or something else entirely?

How much do "survivorwhine" (to use Amorpha's term) and "non-disordered" multiples really have in common? Is it even the same kettle of fish?

Why the enmity between the "natural" and "trauma-based" multiple? Why the enmity between disordered and non-disordered multiples?

Is natural multiplicity the same as multiplicity caused by trauma at the base level? Are we actually witnessing two distinctly different phenomena which are only similar in appearance?

Categories and labels exist to help us classify and give meaning to the phenomena we observe. What does the label "multiple" or "plural" actually mean?
[identity profile] annabellelaw.livejournal.com
I'm kind of two people sharing the same body. A division of mind, two personalities with some shared memories.
I read some posts in this community & go "Yes... that sounds familiar. I'm glad I'm not alone."
I read some posts and go "Riiight... nutter, nut-ter. Notjob"
This place occasionally makes me feel sane because I read things from literate inteligent people who just happen to be sharing a body with others. Occasionally it makes me feel sane because I read posts and realise that I'm a healty sane multiple, not insane like the poster.

I'll not single out any individuals (forgive the pun) but the nut-job posts I read usually ... heck. I'm not going to give examples. I think you know which ones I'm refering to.
[identity profile] our-haven.livejournal.com
So there's an interesting subject I've been tossing around in my mind for a while, and that's the names and physical charactaristics of the people in our house. It seems to me that while some of us have had sort-of 'innate' names, many have actually chosen their name when they first show-up 'publicly'. They've always been the same person, from before emergence to present day, but it just seems like most of them they didn't need conventional characteristics (such as names and physical appearance) until they were in the 'context' of this life and world. It also seems to me that, when choosing a name, everyone has a 'concept' or 'tone' related to their personality that they try to express. You know how certain types of names just fit certain people?

Some examples from our own system:

-Ana showed up without provocation and without any notice-- or warning, more appropriately. She started 'pushing' different ideas on us non-verbally, then started whispering, then started fully ordering us around. She just is, and has always been, her.
-Raijna was a walk-in (a rain fae) and had no concept of names or most things relating to our form of life. Jeremey chose a name for her, after getting inspiration from the fae herself, and when he ran it by her she seemed happy with the choice so we kept it.
-Jessa 'latched onto' a couple different people, including Raijna and myself, when she first showed up. She's always been the same girl, but she started out by co-fronting with us, following us around, and trying to act like us. Generally acting like a kid. It was damn cute, really. After she gave up "Raijy" and "Jemmy", I helped her choose her own name; "Jessamine".
-January and I are the result of the split of Genevieve. I fell back on our old nick-name, Jem, and January chose hers because of how close "Genevieve" is in pronounciation to the French word for january, "janvier". She said it suited her emotions and life, dead and cold like the winter (her attitude's not so goth anymore, thank god.)
-Vivian only recently emerged 'publicly', the first times she fronted I got a couple hints of her personality and the 'feel' of a 'v-name.' She confirmed my first impression of her by choosing "Vanessa" her third time out, but just today changing her name to "Vivian" because it is, in her opinion, a stronger name (meaning 'alive' or 'living') than "Vanessa" (meaning 'butterfly'.)

I really got to thinking about this because of reading about soulbonding. It seems, from what I've read recently, many people's soulbonds represent themselves with the character/person they do because it is similar to their personality and how they wanted to present/express themselves. I guess I see a similarity there, though perhaps on a different scale. Maybe soulbonds present themselves how they do because they didn't always have the 'context' of this life and world to fit into? How similar to or different from multiplicity like mine is this, aside from how soulbonds take on pre-existing fictional characters or already-living people? Are soulbonds actually constructs instead of pre-existing entities?

Food for thought.

~Jem of Haven
(btw, I tried to lj-cut this and it went funky and refused to work. sorry about the length)
[identity profile] withfangs.livejournal.com
Please bear with me. My boy, Max, posted here a while ago, in regards to me, and he's trying to push me more into having conversations with others about my own doubts with multiplicity.

When I was young, I began studying other religions, and I really became interested in spirituallity. Along the way, I discovered two others living within. Really, this is just background information, so no know thinks I'm trying to troll or rag on the community. I've been aware of my own multiplicity for a number of years. I also see my multiplicity as a means to my own personal spirituallity. That is, I don't have a set religion, but I see the presence of and communication with my system as being a self-enlightening, holy experience.

I see this huge resurgance of multiples on the internet, and it makes me skeptical. NOT, because of the fact that their multiples. I wouldn't call someone out on being a "fake". But, the way some of these systems carry on, it makes me wonder how they can reasonably function.

I'm going to point the finger at soulbonding, because it seems to be the means of multiplicity that houses the greatest number of loonies. I can accept, per se, that another has entered your system, and is a bad influence, and perhaps is forcing your body and system down a bad path. I can not, however, accept that this entity causing harm is, say, Sephiroth from the Final Fantasy games. That, is insane. Final Fantasy is fiction. It may very well be an entity that projects images OF Sephiroth into your mind, but part of gaining some feasible aspect of functional control over yourselves, is seeing through the bullshit.

I have trouble with people who play INTO that bullshit, by extension. Not only do they seem to be the loudest group of loons, but they're also impossible to have a reasonable discussion with. Everything boils down to "it's different for everyone", which is great for upholding any kind of deluded fantasy that you might have, but really, isn't productive for conversation.

Especially...if you're attempting to learn something, or see if they have a reason to act the way that they do.

Are there any rational, sane soulbonds, here? If so, do they honestly believe that they're fictional characters? This seems to be the most levelheaded community about plurality on LJ that we can find, so I figure it would be the best place to start.
[identity profile] ricktboy.livejournal.com
We recently got an interesting visitor. A friend of mine who passed on, has come into our honeycomb, and is thinking she'd like to stay.

Has anyone ever experienced this? or something like it?

I'm not opposed(neither is anyone else that I know of)to her being here, or staying(especially since it seems she makes Liz happy), it's just...odd. to have someone I knew in the physical world, all of a sudden be a part of ours.

I may not be making sense, We haven't slept yet.
[identity profile] eclective.livejournal.com
(x-posted to [livejournal.com profile] soulbonding)

Apologies for the crosspost, and also the fact that I haven't previously intro'd ourselves to this community; many of you have seen us around in the SBing community, many of you haven't, but if you don't know us, we're a system of loosely 14 or so with a couple of main frontrunners, and most of us are soulbonds, i.e. people who identify as having origins which are portrayed in this world as fictional, or something like that.

Anyway, we were recommended by another system on this list to post here as well as the soulbonding community, so here goes; one of our system is suffering from physical pain (it affects the body at times, but only mildly, and hardly at all when she's not fronting; we know that she feels it more strongly, though) that we thought at first was phantom pain, but she's been suggested to have it checked out physically just in case. (This morning she was physically tender to the body's touch, so I suppose it's worrisome...)

The trouble is, obviously, she's a soulbond. If she does have any physical illness it's unlikely to show up in our body as anything more than stress symptoms, and our soulscape is a pseudomedieval world where the shiniest new invention on the block is metalworking, so she's not going to get any kind of thorough medical examination there; none of us are doctors, so the most we can do is poke and prod at her externally (which we now have to stop because it hurts ^_^;;). So, this is a kind of dumb question, but does anyone have experience with this sort of thing and what did you do about it? It may just be a phantom, and she says she's okay, but still, I don't like to see her in pain.
[identity profile] queengodzilla.livejournal.com
    Hi. I don't mean to intrude. I have no system and so I just thought to post an odd connection I found before I quickly left you all to your own devices:

    It seems that those who developed their persons without the goading of horrible traumas (i.e., the natural multiples) seem to have a penchant for otherkin in their systems. I thought it was an odd connection.

    For instance, my friend [livejournal.com profile] myorp here has what I believe he/she/they define to be naturally occurring multiplicity and they have a supernatural/otherkin being in their system. [livejournal.com profile] elenbarathi and [livejournal.com profile] arhuaine are parallels in this regard, as is [livejournal.com profile] saturniakitty too. (That is, if I haven't gotten my facts mixed and selected the wrong people n_n;. If that happens -- whoa, sorry! X_X)

    I just found it odd that the *hesitates to use the word* traditional multiples who have developed by the DSM-IV defined prerequisite of extreme trauma don't usually have mythical/otherworld persons within. It seems to be a goodly difference that I've noticed.

    "Why does this occur? Why is it that non-trauma multiples are more likely to have supernatural/mythical/offworld persons within?" I think I've absorbed enough information to think this question and ponder it at length.

    It's just something I thought about and wanted to know your opinions on.

    And now that it's been given, I shall withdraw and leave it to you to discuss it amongst yourselves. I thought it was very interesting. Sorry for intruding on your community. I just had to ask this question as it was a noticeable trait in my eyes.

        -Jessica
[identity profile] bekkypk.livejournal.com
I'm a newbie here. I guess you'll be learning things about me as I got along.

Basically, I started off with soulbonds and muses - my muses being the soulbonds whose stories I dared to tell. And for a time all was well. I'm not certain this is the right place for me but somebody in [livejournal.com profile] soulbonding recommended me here. There are 3 reasons i can think of for being maybe multiple as opposed to a straightforward soulbonder/muser:

Over the summer I Role Played with a muse of mine, Russet Ranaya. She and I became very close, and it got to the point where something happened to Russet (the actions of a fellow RPG-er on her) and I became aware that I could almost feel it as it happened. I squirmed about in fear and became upset when her kittens were killed.

Recently, Karisma broke through the net. Karisma is a wolf-girl... And things I already used to do, crazy things like howling at the moon... fitted with her. I'm starting to beleive she may have always been with me in some sense, and when I write for her, I am actually her.

And then the other day, I had a rather scary episode where I started wondering who I really was. And the more I thought about it, the more I realised I didn't know. Because I'm so changeable from one day to the next. Because sometimes I'm mouthy, sometimes I'm innocent. Because I can't defend myself. I don't know. But I'm a wanderer in search of a label, i think.

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