[identity profile] itsa-wallaby.livejournal.com
I've been wondering lately whether these other people in my head are actual people or if they're just me being dissociative, and how to figure it out. My therapist refuses to entertain the possibility that they're actual people, so no help there. Can anyone think of some way to find out..? Or is this one of those "only you can tell" sorts of things?


EDIT: Look, the therapist comment was just to say that I'm not getting any help from him. He does NOT affect the fact that I don't know whether I'm just dissociating or if they're real people, and this question would have probably been asked with or without him. I have a lot of issues to deal with, and I am not seeing him for multiplicity, it only comes up because I told him about it once and he asks about it if we run out of other things to talk about. He's even told me that it's okay if I don't believe him. His stance is that they are dissociation, not people, and that there is a reason why they are there, and that I need to ask them until they give me an answer other than "well, why are *you* here?" I disagree with him about the question, but I do not know what to think about whether they're dissociation-induced or real people. Some days I believe they're real, some days not. Today, for example, I do believe they are real and separate people and that I'm not even the first one who was here. Two days ago, I believed we were all the same person and that I was dissociating sometimes, and sometimes "I" even thought that while talking to others or while being someone else.

I appreciate all your comments, I really do, just please leave my therapist out of it, because he has very little to do with this question.
[identity profile] ricktboy.livejournal.com
So, things have changed for us recently, and not-so-recently. "the twins" and "the girl who screams" have names, and some of us have decded we no longer fit what the icons we had looked like. The GIMP one is far more accurate now, and Kali has her own icon in our "celebrity" icon as well.

Tara told her what they look like, and she's extremely pleased.

There is also a question in here somewhere. Has anyone else had a system-mate who spoke a language no one else did? how did you cope with that?

Kali's working on learning English, and she's master Tara's elven language, being closer to her own, but we're wondering how other people dealt with situations like this...

Pack Collective

ETA: I forgot to link to the other icon *facepalm* here it is:
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
[identity profile] rabbitsystem.livejournal.com
We're teaching ourselves to write lefthanded, because I'm actually the only rightie here and it's weird for the others to write with the 'wrong' hand, or so they tell me. The body we presume is at least slightly right-handed because when Ellen and I learned to write that was how we did it. Anyone else found themselves needing to switch handedness?
[identity profile] timothymcdonald.livejournal.com
Umm I don't know if this is really the sort of thing to post about, but David said to go ahead and see.

I've seen people post about their 'systems' and the environment in which they operate. Ray has always been very much in MY world. It's like we should have been twins but there was only one body and I got it by virtue of being 'born' first.

Anyway, I'm not good in social situations. I've always been rather introverted and shy. I like people, I like parties, I'm just no good at the small talk, mixing thing. Being a vet at Christmas and New Year David gets invited to a lot of gatherings especially New Year and I go along. In the last three years or so people have accepted us as a couple. Ray always 'fronts' he's good at mixing and small talk and a bit of a flirt with the ladies, which has led to some funny and not so funny situations.

When he's fronting I feel like I'm watching my body operate. He holds himself differently to me so *I* seem taller, he makes hand gestures, is much more confident and David says his language and speech pattern is different to mine, though voice and accent stay the same.

I wondered if any one had a similar experience?

Tim and Ray


Oct. 30th, 2006 12:24 am
[identity profile] burning-dark.livejournal.com
I am, as you may have guessed, new to this community.

I am not personaly multipul but I was at one point, split due to situations I couldn't handle on my own. It wasn't so much that we were two people so much as there was Me-Who-Could-Cope and Me-Who-Couldn't-Cope. I identified it as a him and him as Alexander, my older brother.
It has been three years sence I last saw him and he only came up for half an hour to beat the crap out of someone who tried to grope myself and, more importently, my sister. At the time I was furious and he just kind of showed up, took control, beat on the guy for a while, and left. The only thing my sister noticed was that I rather suddenly aquiered skill with a padded sword(I am quite hopeless at it myself) and commenced with the fight and the accompaning lecture on what is and is not appropriet to do upon meeting a young lady.
I can only assume that if I need him he'll come back but I generaly don't see him at all. the problems that split us are years past and I'm quite content with my life now.

I do live with two multipul households, one of whom is my mother and the other my 'brother'(dear friend come to live with us and decided to stay)
they are both three person households and I have met and acepted all of them that I know of.
I consider my mother's 'brothers' to be my uncles and can tell the difference between them without more then a glance. I am, I beleve, the only one who -can- tell them apart even when one of them 'flickers' in and out of corporiality in seconds. He does this occasoinaly and I am the only one(who doesn't share the body) who can catch him at it every time.
I freely admit to being alarmed but the other of my uncles at first, but considering that the first time I saw him I was eight and we were right in the midst of the fore-mentioned problems I think that's only natural.
My brother's kin can be quite odd but I do not fear them nor have I ever feared them.

There is elements of Magik in my knowing the difference between my uncles but I most cirtenly don't rely on it and do not need to do so.
As I said, I am not multipul anymore but I have a great deal of knowlage on the subject and I am quite willing to share.
I am very blunt and I will give a logical, rational awnser to a quetion I am asked. I will attempt to be tactful but if and when tact fails, I can and will be -very- strateforward, to the point of rudeness if need be. I hope that this will not offend anybody and I'm saying it now so people know it.

[identity profile] elusivedreamers.livejournal.com
I figured out I'm a magic bus. :) Well, that's where the others are at least.. or that's what I picture... whatever!
Read more... )
[identity profile] draegonhawke.livejournal.com
I'm putting this forth not because I think it's the One True Reason, but because it's a possibility that interests me and I'd like to hear discussion and opinions.

It's something that's grown out of my response to people who think it's crazy that I have fanfic characters in my brain on occasion, or who don't understand how I can process two contradictory interpretations for one character at the same time, and it's something that helps me to understand when people say that they have a character from a TV series or a game or a book or whathaveyou as part of their system; it also helps me understand how two different systems may have the same person within them.

It has to do with understanding the soul as an abstraction.... )

Thoughts? Comments? Corrections or questions?
[identity profile] eridanusus.livejournal.com
we just watched that thing on 60 minutes about Robert Oxnam, Chris started crying when they showed the first clip of bobby skating. It was really really weird. Tian just goes, wow my heart tastes salty. apaprenly she means, like, we had this feeling like...our heart was in our throat, she said it was so high up we could taste it. I dunno. it was really freaky to wach even though he wouldn't let them talk o any of the others they still showed Bobby skating and it was like... that's me. Even though we don't like change voice and stuff like he said, but yeah.
[identity profile] changelyng14.livejournal.com

So quite a while ago, we 'came out' to each other, learned how to front independently, had some major coping issues at first. one problem our natural communication method caused (we access each others memories) is we had memories of being someone that could do things that we couldn't necessarily do. for example, Tia 'remembered' knowing calculus, and remembered doing very well on calc quizzes, but under the new rules, she'd go to class, feel good, put pen to paper, and have no clue what she was doing. we have this problem all over the place with programming, teching (our major/profession) and such.

well when we figured out this was the way of things, we took a major slowdown, got on disability, and took some time getting used to our new rules.
in like, march we got out of that, and started working a pretty easy job that any of us could handle. steering clear of anything technical or stressful for a while. (we've actually been a bit more responsible then we were before, since we seem to have licked depression pretty solidly)

well were alot more practiced at this teamwork stuff, we've pulled off a shareware project or two, and were ready to see if we put our new controlled switching skilz to the test. (that and financial aid thinks its time to either take a class or start paying our loan) so viola! we start our first day of class tomorrow.

weve heard some advice about getting an overlay'ey thing working for crossing skills, but we just don't mix well at all. so our approach is to get myself (candy), lovecry, and synch (if he bothers to get involved) each independantly solid on the material. and Tia switching out, since she suuux at math, but defaces easily enough.

anyways, if anyones got any spiffy advice, please please. otherwise, wish us luck! Im personally pretty amped about it! wooo!

Candy Apple Red of the Changelyng System


Sep. 16th, 2005 05:26 pm
[identity profile] eridanusus.livejournal.com
I was in a chatroom before and I mentioned that I needed to fix a seam in my skirt... so I went and got my skirt and needle and thread and everything... they couldn't believe I was actually handsewing it. I told them my aunt taught me how and I don't have a sewing machine. The outside mother does, but I don't know how to use it. That's just how we do stuff inside. One of the Americans wanted to ship me a shirt he has that needs a button sewn on, he said the cost would be worth it because he doesn't want to do it himself.
[identity profile] tempusfrangit.livejournal.com
I just have to say this, as it's been bothering me since I read the various posts.

First off, I do not understand the constant need to belittle someone because they're not multiple as you see multiplicity should be. We're in this together in one form or another and depend on each other in one way or another because we know the struggle each other go through.

Secondly, I fully realize that some people may be multiple to the way that they fit into the stereotypes, but they should not be lifted to public attention as the example is generally a negative one. Why can we not get some uplifting examples of functional system?

Thirdly, and lastly, the host needs more friends who can understand. I think total, we're friends with 5 other systems, and we would like to see her gain more people that she can relate to so that she can feel more comfortable talking about us or letting us type in the journal.

Thank you for your time,
[identity profile] ex-visual-sy218.livejournal.com
I just transferred to a new/old college. Meaning, I've gone there before, but I'm in a new department. I'm a photography major, for those who want to know.

So far, two of my classes have mentioned plurality. Like, multiplicity. We were just given a passage written by Jorge Luis Borges, which sounds suspiciously like a plural writing about another in his system. It's dramatic, but he clearly states that there's "another Borges" within him, who is responsible for the literature he creates.

Exact quote from Borges: ...the stone eternally wants to be a stone and the tiger a tiger. I shall remain in Borges, not in myself (if it is true that I am someone), but I recognize myself less in the books than in many others or in the laborious strumming of a guitar. Years ago, I tried to free myself from him and went from the mythologies of the suburbs to the games of time and infinity, but those games belong to Borges now and I shall have to imagine other things. Thus my life is a flight and I lose everything and everything belongs to oblivion, or to him. I do not know which of us has written this page.

It's the last line that gets me. The two of us who front are constantly blending (heh, new term for me), and writing for each other, and there have been times that we weren't immediately sure who was speaking or writing. So, the passage stuck out to me for that very reason.

Discussion on this passage is supposed to follow in one of my studios. But, besides that point, we've discussed plurality before in my classes, as a supported method of creation. In other words, they don't care if we're loony*, and in fact, they want discussion on how loony* we are. For this, I'm really, actually pretty greatful, because it gives me a RL community where we'd be supported. I'm pretty god damned tired of having the internet as my only outlet.

This leads me to my question: How many of you are artists or musicians or "creative people"? I'm curious to see if there's a prevalence of right brained people who are also multiple.

*Disclaimer: use of the term "loony" is for humor purposes, only and need not be taken in offense.


Jul. 25th, 2005 12:40 am
[identity profile] sublimebeing.livejournal.com
I'm getting mad because Kyra keeps trying to control me and make me think things that aren't true because then she can get her own way. I have my own space for deep, deep secrets but I have to keep a close eye on that and exhibit a lot of willpower to keep it locked up, she is a very strong part of us and everybody finds it difficult to keep things hidden from her (if they want to that is) because she seems to be able to just enter other people's space and see our thoughts and memories. We can stop her if we concentrate and put up a lot of force..but sometimes she messes with dreams and stuff and just generally behaves in manner which we do not find acceptable.

Has anybody else had problems like this? Or at least found that some people are stronger in your system than others or have more internal control? Can any of the members of your system get inside other's minds and see what they are thinking etc? Or are they very separate?

[identity profile] ex-mushroom784.livejournal.com
back in late november, i had a miscarriage (this SO is not a dig for symapthy, so anyone who wants to start that kind of arguement, don't... sorry if i seem defensive, but it's happened :/)

one of my inners claimed to know that the baby was there, before i lost it, and teased me about it, through one of my friends relaying stuff back. i think she (inner, not my friend... all my friends seem to be male, for some reason >_o) was amused when i lost it. i don't know why it bothers me so much that she claimed to be able to be around it... particularly because i DID lose it. inners couldn't affect a baby like that, right?

i didn't mind all so much having that happen to me a first time, but if she's feeling cruel and does it again... :/ i dunno. this is weighing on my mind a lot lately, as a lot of friends keep poking at me, thinking i'm pregnant again (blood test said no, but mistakes happen... argh)

so i guess... to anyone who is/has been pregnant, have any of your inners been able to notice it there, even before you did? or... anything like that? sorry if i'm not making sense, i'm typing as fast as i can, before i forget what i wanted to ask.

thanks for anything anyone can tell me. :)
[identity profile] zenboiuke.livejournal.com
AAAARRGHH!!! I love/hate it when K does this...

I was in the mood for whiskey & was wondering what sort of drink to make. I happen to like angostura bitters so I added a few dashes and was trying to figure out what else I should add because I like my drinks sweet. K first suggested Triple Sec. Then he added "Oh and powdered sugar too."

Turned out to be the recipe for a Canadian Cocktail XD Which I had never heard of before, but there it is in the bartenders guidebook XD

And speaking of weirdness =D )
I think I need that Canadian Cocktail >_>;;

[identity profile] zenboiuke.livejournal.com
A person once magnanimously stated that were I to prove that the other members in house had knowledge that I did not, then perhaps he would be so inclined to believe we were plural, and that I wasn't just disassociating or imagining things.

*rolls his eyes*

I think Jack put it best when he said something to the effect of "Sure, and then I'll clap for his existence" (Referencing Peter Pan and the whole "Clap if you believe in fairies" bit LOL)

We don't need anyone's acceptance or validation in order to exist, and many times, we are supportive and capable in matters where 'real (ie 3D)'<--- note the quotes ;) people fall by the wayside.

BUT, for narrowminded & judgmental individuals who need proof in order for their tiny, anal worlds to seem more safe and comfortable, I have now experienced relief from not one but two medical treatments offered by K, our eldest member, who happens to be a shaman & my mentor (and possibly more, the best I can explain it is a future aspect of myself... but he's the OLDEST, so...??? Maybe I am the current life aspect that forgot its ancient origins? I find it all terribly confusing @_@;;; Maybe I should take a quantum physics class LOL)

Anyway, K brought us successful results where traditional medicine has failed, so doubting Thomases can take THAT and shove it up their tight little bums :p

[identity profile] 20splinters.livejournal.com
So this is my first post here. I haven’t got much written in my journal yet, since we’ve only had everybody aware of being multiple since around Halloween and we didn’t have internet until about a week ago, but feel free to read it. I’ve been spending most of my time in this journal reading this community. There two subjects that I’ve seen quite a bit written about in here, and I just wanted to toss in my 2 cents on each, and ask a few questions about things that we’ve experienced.

We know that some of our splits are trauma induced, but definitely not all. In fact, we’ve got one person in here who seems to excel at building new people just to do things that nobody else wants to or knows how to do. We’ve got a lot perfectly normal human beings in here, but we also have people who would class as “otherkin.” And then there’s those that know they’re really human, but sometimes like to imagine themselves with wings, pointy ears, fangs, horns, etc. Most of the time, this isn’t a problem, because people do realize that no matter how they see themselves, there are limitations to this physical body. Personally, I like the descriptions or drawings that people provide of themselves and the worlds they come from! These also come in really handy when we play role-playing games or run campaigns. We just base characters off of the abilities that people see themselves with, or design campaign settings on the worlds they come from. Our gaming group is aware that we’re multiple, but sometimes it’s still easier for them to accept wildly different behavior and attitude if it’s expressed as playing a character.

That leads me into the second subject: coming out. Jocelyn, our front person who was unaware of being multiple, was okay with her boyfriend being told once she became aware, but didn’t want anyone else to know, but a lot of the rest of us wanted to tell people. So we eventually argued Jocelyn into it, and for the most part, it’s gone very well. A lot of people have responded with “That explains a lot!” Several other people have responded that they know someone else who’s multiple, including the one case where someone, or rather one of her alters, stepped forward and explained that they were multiple too. It hasn’t all gone this well, of course, like my mom still doesn’t want to accept it. We’ve had several people immediately ask if there’s a dangerous personality, but I blame Hollywood and the media for that. (We’ve decided to start answering “Yes, and you’re talking to it,” to that question, just on principle.) We’ve had some friends who grew up with dysfunctional, unaware multiples arrange a confrontation and insist that we seek psychiatric treatment, and we did agree to see a psychologist (more on that later). But we’ve also had the very special experience of “awakening” another formerly unaware and possibly partially (badly) integrated multiple. He had some initial disorientation, but seems to have developed a much more positive outlook on life since getting to know his others.

Overall, I’d still say that coming out has been a good idea and a mostly positive experience, though I don’t think it’s a good thing to tell an employer. We also don’t want our biological son’s father to know, because he’d be guaranteed to have a hysterical reaction, try to take custody, allow only supervised visitation, if any, and all sorts of other crap. I’m sure we’ll end up telling the ex eventually, but we’re going to wait at least until the kid is old enough to speak on his own behalf in court. We’re also going to have to tell our son one of these days, but I don’t think he’s old enough yet to understand. For anyone who is thinking about coming out, I’d have to say trust your instincts. If you don’t think some one can handle it, you’re probably right, but if you think they can, then go ahead and tell them. However, a little preparation does go a long way. We have generally called someone to tell them we want to meet up and talk, and that it’s about something important and unusual, then we meet with them and tell them, and then we generally let them go off and absorb it and get back to us when they’re ready to know more. We haven’t lost any friends yet, although some are not comfortable talking about it. (That’s okay; some of the members of this body still aren’t comfortable with talking about being multiple.)

So anyway, this takes me into some questions I wanted to ask based on my own experiences and observing other aware multiples. (I know and get together with 3 other aware multiples at least semi-regularly.)

First of all, I’ve read about other multiples having different levels of sensitivity, depending on who’s up front. Joey is highly sensitive, especially sexually, yet she also has the highest pain tolerance of anybody in here. She also has a phenomenal alcohol tolerance, exceeded only by Jade’s. Anakin, Jayne, Jocelyn, Myriad, and Lia all have extremely low tolerances, though Lia bases herself largely on our biological older sister and thus, drinks heavily anyway and gets absolutely plastered. The others of us who have experienced alcohol seem to have tolerances somewhere in between. We do not recommend anyone deliberately getting drunk to find out, but has anyone else switched over with alcohol or drugs in their system and found that different people feel it very differently? (Jade finds it very amusing to switch back and forth with Anakin when she’s drinking, because he immediately starts stumbling and weaving when she still feels stone cold sober.) Also, Joey can harness body strength to lift over twice her body weight, while many of the rest of us are lucky if we can lift more than 50 lb. We also seem to need different amounts of sleep.

Second, while we do choose to remain multiple, we have had some integrations. Janna, who appeared during Russian language immersion program, woke up speaking Russian, and then informed us that there were too many people in here already and she wanted to integrate with Jayne. Janna already appeared to have been built on the high school German class persona named Anna, who was never a complete personality but did have the base for rapidly learning a new language. All we had to do was wake Jayne up and ask her if she was willing to integrate, and they just stepped right into each other. Jayne is still Jayne, but she goes by Janna when she’s speaking Russian and Anna when she’s speaking German. Now they were very similar already, both having professional appearances and experience dealing with people from very different backgrounds, and for whatever it’s worth, Rhiannon, who reads auras, says that Jayne’s is bright yellow and Janna’s was light yellow, and the colors being similar is important. We’ve had a couple other people want to integrate, but it didn’t work, and yes, their aura colors were very different, as well as several of their personality traits. What we’re looking for here is opinions on integration in general and experiences with it that anyone else has had.

I’ve got so many other questions, but this entry is getting long, so I’ll ask just one more. I mentioned that we play role-playing games. Most of our friends are people from our role-playing group or else friends of theirs. Including myself, we have 2 open multiples in the role-playing group, and just about everybody that was ever in the group at any time knows another multiple, aware or not. It makes perfect sense that stuff like role-playing and acting would attract multiples, since it gives their others a chance to get out and be themselves. I was just wondering if anyone else out there is into role-playing and if so, if it is your others that come out as characters during sessions.

So that’s about it, but I did promise to get back to this. We do see a psychologist, and we got really lucky, because not only has he had experience with multiples, but he also does not believe that integration is the only way to deal with getting fully functional. He seems to be taking the approach of figuring out who’s best at what and helping us figure out how to make sure that people show up to do the things they’re best at, and how to make sure we don’t end up with people who absolutely can’t handle something trying to do it. (The 8 yr old showing up behind the wheel of a car would probably be really bad, for example, but we couldn’t ask for a more perfect playmate for our biological son.) The psychologist has also been helpful with getting some of our people who did have issues to start dealing with them and move past them. He deals with us all as different people, and helps us get more on the track of working together as a group instead of each pursuing his or her own interests without regard for anyone else.

So there’s my introduction or rant or whatever you want to call it. I hope to hear back from people and meet you all.

[identity profile] oihanen.livejournal.com
cross-posted to [livejournal.com profile] hard_of_hearing, [livejournal.com profile] multiplicity, [livejournal.com profile] plural_living, [livejournal.com profile] synaesthesis, and [livejournal.com profile] oihanen.

this covers a broad range of topics, but it is about hearing. plurality and synaesthesia play roles, though, for any who feel they can give advice. it would be much appreciated. we've been noticeably hard of hearing to ourselves since we were 12. we're 17, now, and it's only gotten worse. but depending on who's front, hearing changes. not drastically, but everyone thought we were making it up until a friend pulled us out of traffic we didn't hear behind us. some people still do, though. but who cares. screw them. the best explanation we've got for now is that the problems are "sporadic" without revealing to the physician community that we're batshit crazy. we're normally paranoid about doctors, but since communication and control is better, we're trying to get body glitches fixed while the peace lasts. i've already been to the ob/gyn without clocking her. i feel accomplished.


details: may be more plurality-oriented. )

and that about wraps it up. sorry if it seemed like i strayed off topic, but i've got a lot of people to cover and compensate for. hope that wasn't a horrible first post. we've got our first appointment with an audiologist in nashville on the 2nd. wish us luck? i have no idea how to proceed with explaining all of this except for the "sporadic" bit. even then, there's the chance that the dr will say it's just our imagination. until next time..

[identity profile] arimle.livejournal.com
I was reading some of the posts on the last thread and it made me think about Slávka, who I mentioned in my last post. She was the first person I became aware of, because I was already somewhat aware of somebody else inside of me who spoke Czech.

There isn't anything toastery (this is another term I like very much) about this, it isn't as if suddenly I, who had no Czech connections whatsoever, rose up one morning and started gibbering in Czech. I understand just as much Czech as Sláva. I can translate probably better than she can, in fact. But only she can generate it. If she's not around, I have a very hard time speaking it at all -- even though I know the words and I know how to pronounce them.

She and I were born at the same time, I a little before her, (I've begun to think of us as sisters) in the same place, the library. I was born from the history books we read, and she was born from our Czech textbook. (Actually, I think that an amalgam of Sláva and me was around for a little bit when we were very young, but was gone by the time we started grade school -- it's a sort of in-system reincarnation, or something, I guess.) If there hadn't been a Slávka-seed somewhere inside, then we'd only have learnt Czech because we're language nerds, and we'd have gotten bored with it long ago; but the egg was fertilized and she was born.

So anyway, the whole point of this post is not just sort out my thoughts about mine and Slávka's genesis, but mostly to ask you how language affects your system.


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