hello, i'm new :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/__camy/]

I joined this community because my fiance has MPD... I've been trying to learn more about it (I just have manic depression), and while there's some good reading material out there about it, I just can't understand it.
Basically what he's told me, and what his friends have told me, is that he has borderline MPD... he says it only 'comes out' when he's VERY angry about something and that when it does, he blacks out and can't remember anything. While I do not make him angry now and have never seen this come out in him, I know it will eventually happen. I'm not sure if there's any way for me to be ready for it, but I'm just so confused. I've read some of the past entries in this community and I just want some kind of introduction into the world of multiplicity... it has always fascinated me.

Also, I thought I should say that some of this seems a bit peculiar to me.. I mean, doesn't everyone have different characters that come out in certain situations? I know I do....

Comments

[mirrorbrothers.livejournal.com]

There are links to some very good sites in the community's profile. There are many things to learn there, including why many multiples get twitchy when someone uses the term DID. If you're looking for clinical sites... well, the sites linked in the profile will also teach you why you shouldn't bother with clinical sites.

- Johnny

[mirrorbrothers.livejournal.com]

No worries. You didn't know. Heck, we didn't know the right words a week ago.

[http://users.livejournal.com/__camy/]

thank you, it all makes so much more sense now :)

oh, and nice icon.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

What you describe him going through is not necessarily multiplicity or MPD. Blacking out and behaving in a completely different manner (whether related to anger or something else) can be caused by a lot of things.

You might check the community info page (http://community.livejournal.com/multiplicity/profile) and follow a few of the links. These won't give you any more information on the kind of experience your fiance reports, but if you just want some different takes on "the world of multiplicity" you might see what the links have to offer.

For instance, persons in a multiple system are not characters, and we do not necessarily "come out in certain situations". Speaking for myself and those in my House, we do not assign specific persons to handle situations; there's no real need to do so, since each of us is a complete person in his or her own right and will handle whatever situation arises in whatever manner he or she sees fit, including asking others in the group for assistance and co-running if need be. In fact, this is by and large how our system must work, because we have little if any control over who is up front at any given time.

Please feel free to ask any questions you may have. You may write email to us as well.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Certainly! You can write us email at ksol1460 at livejournal dot com. We are occasionally on AIM where we are ksol1460 as well.

[thehumangame.livejournal.com]

Hey hey, you're on the D-----verse forums, aren't you? We're AbstractGray over there but we're kind of habitual lurkers. There's a bit of description of our experience in the threads we started in the Trip Reports subforum.

he says it only 'comes out' when he's VERY angry about something and that when it does, he blacks out and can't remember anything.

What exactly happens when he's angry? If I get really pissed off at something Sophie will shove me out of the way and deal with the situation calmly and rationally, but from what you say it sounds like that's not quite the case with him... Anyway I have to point to what ksol1460 said—blacking out when angry can be caused by different things. There's a thing called state-dependent memory where your experiences in one particular state of consciousness are less accessible when you're not in that state. (My favorite example of state-dependent memory is of a guy who only studied for tests when stoned. He did poorly on the tests until he started going to the tests stoned too...)

I mean, doesn't everyone have different characters that come out in certain situations? I know I do....

I didn't for eighteen years. Personifying yourself as different characters is more common in this culture than people suppose (given the lack of cultural support for it) but I think still not 'most'.

~j

[http://users.livejournal.com/__camy/]

I am on the dv... how did you know? :)

Okay, so I talked to him about it last night... he says that when it happens (and this in itself made me think 'okay, maybe not so much') that he would be there as if he were watching a movie... there was nothing he could do about it, it just happened. He would fight someone in school over something stupid and he said it was almost like he was not the one doing it... but ehh, whatever. I really don't think he has it, but I find multiples VERY interesting none the less... in fact, the people in this community have been nicer than most of the other communities I've posted in BY FAR. :)

[mirrorbrothers.livejournal.com]

Well, a member of a functional multiple is, by definition, good at getting along with others.

- Rob

[vox-vocis-vita.livejournal.com]

I'm not a multiple myself, so I couldn't answer any questions you have, but my husband is multiple, so I know what its like to live with and have a relationship with someone who identifies as such.

As for people having different "characters" that come out, some do and some don't, as thehumangame said above. I have an angry side that comes out at random, but its still just a part of me. Its just me being angry over something. Its not a different person coming out.

Its already been stated, and you'll learn more as you go along in the community, but the people in multiple systems aren't just "sides" to one person. They're individuals. Some of them may start out as masks or fragments of one person, but as time progresses, they become much more than that.

My husbands other began as a sort of mask or character. The more growing room he gave her and the more she was able to interact with other people, the more she became her own person. For a long time I had some issues with his multiplicity, not bad issues, it was just something new and strange to me. I didn't always get along with his other, and even now I feel awkward around them when shes at the front.

Its mostly a mental thing though, its very odd for me to look at my husband and see him physically, but know its really someone else I'm looking at. If that makes any sense. I don't have many issues with her anymore, aside from the random fights and arguments most families have. While I do sometimes get irritated with her, I'm always the first to jump to her defense whenever someone wants to mock her or tell her shes not real.

Anyway, welcome to the comm. I hope the others here are able to help you understand more. ^_^

[mirrorbrothers.livejournal.com]

Also, if your fiancee does have MPD (that is, if he's a member of a dysfunctional multiple) then what's coming out when he's angry is not an "it" or a "this," it's a "he" or a "she." Even if he's just a being of pure rage or whatever, and not a fully developed person, he's still a being. And he probably has the potential to develop. I was pretty simplistic myself, once, but over time I grew up.

Also, if your fiancee's system is dysfunctional - if there's no communication and no control over who's at the front - he should be trying to fix it. The fact that it doesn't cause trouble very often is nice, but it doesn't excuse him from that. One, he has a life to live, and he'll do better at it if he doesn't have to worry about blacking out and losing control of his body to a stranger. Two, for all he knows, there's a person in there, lost and screaming in the dark.

- Johnny