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thank you to everyone who responded to the entry i did over here... i did read everything, i have a habit of just absorbing things, and keeping my thoughts to myself. but i am appreciative.
the one without a name in me seems to just hate the idea of more change. she (used loosely, i don't think of her with any real gender... save for her voice, and attraction to my boyfriend) gets upset with small changes, and it affects me also... so i realize that the stress that i felt then, probably was brought on by her, if only in part.
the boyfriend and i did try a second time for a kiddo (no luck on that, but at least i didn't LOSE one either) but have agreed to not actually try again for a while. since we're a LDR, it's not that big of a problem. :)
as for trying to get permission (or whatever... not sure the right word to use here) from my inners... one (Su) doesn't seem to care either which way, she just doesn't want me sad again. the one without a name won't even talk to me about it. i THINK she'd be more likely to talk about it with my boyfriend though. there's probably an even higher chance she'd talk with an ex of our's (yes, she was with him too) if he got the chance to be the father. ugh. so yeah, this is going to be touchy for a while, but at least i've got some ideas on how to handle things. just a LITTLE bit more than before. :)
as for the chance of it possibly being a health thing in general... i know it is. my doctor told me that it's very rare i'll ever concieve (um, again, obviously), and even less possible that if i DO manage to, that i'll ever go full term. hence the need to figure this out before not too long. :/
thanks for listening to me again. i must seem whiny and stuff, which i didn't intend... sorry if i offended anyone.
the one without a name in me seems to just hate the idea of more change. she (used loosely, i don't think of her with any real gender... save for her voice, and attraction to my boyfriend) gets upset with small changes, and it affects me also... so i realize that the stress that i felt then, probably was brought on by her, if only in part.
the boyfriend and i did try a second time for a kiddo (no luck on that, but at least i didn't LOSE one either) but have agreed to not actually try again for a while. since we're a LDR, it's not that big of a problem. :)
as for trying to get permission (or whatever... not sure the right word to use here) from my inners... one (Su) doesn't seem to care either which way, she just doesn't want me sad again. the one without a name won't even talk to me about it. i THINK she'd be more likely to talk about it with my boyfriend though. there's probably an even higher chance she'd talk with an ex of our's (yes, she was with him too) if he got the chance to be the father. ugh. so yeah, this is going to be touchy for a while, but at least i've got some ideas on how to handle things. just a LITTLE bit more than before. :)
as for the chance of it possibly being a health thing in general... i know it is. my doctor told me that it's very rare i'll ever concieve (um, again, obviously), and even less possible that if i DO manage to, that i'll ever go full term. hence the need to figure this out before not too long. :/
thanks for listening to me again. i must seem whiny and stuff, which i didn't intend... sorry if i offended anyone.