[identity profile] thumbcat.livejournal.com
Introduction: I was pointed to this community by a x-posted entry in another com that I frequent. Having never read or really thought much of Multiples/DID/MPD, I did some e-research based on this com's homepage. For intro purposes, I guess I'd have to off-the-cuff self-indentify as a "singlet".

I read the concept and experience of a "median" and had a couple of questions/perspective comments.

It seems to me that a lot of what this author (http://www.karitas.net/pavilion/library/articles/m_median_kiya0405.html) experienced is very similar to what I experience on a day-to-day basis. I have the Logical Mind, the Barker (critic), the Overrider, the Emotion Monger, the Caretaker, the Wounded Child - all bits and pieces of perspective and focus that swirl around in my head to greater and lesser degrees at any given moment. "Kiya" in the article did experience some key differences, such as being Emotionally "fronted" and then suddenly catching awarenes and becoming confused because of the Logical Mind switching to "front" - but it's more a matter of scale rather than validity. E.G. I have often been in a state of blind rage, and had the Barker in the back of my head snarking, "Well, this'll be interesting - let's see how much you can damage now." I didn't have a physical reaction to becoming aware of another line of thought in my head, but awareness was there none the less, and it caused a dissasociation with the Emotional thought process.

My question is, to me, it seems that a lot of "Median" experiences are similar to mine, and I can see it not being a far jump from those lines of thought to coalesce into characters or "aspects" of the self - with further refinement into separate opinions, takes on the world, responses to an environment.

Again, it seems like a matter of scale and not an inherent black and white difference.

So, what's the difference between listening to yourself as simply an aspect of "yourself" and getting to the point where those aspects are other selves in themselves?
[identity profile] tigrin.livejournal.com
Out of curiousity, are there any communities out there specifically for median/mid-continuum discussion? I know there's this community and the plurality community, but the latter seems more focused on healthy/empowered multiplicity while this community seems focused on multiples (despite what the community information says).

maybe having a separate community for medians would be unnecessary, but I do feel like there are certain issues and topics related to being median that could benefit from its own community... I don't know, I welcome everyone's thoughts on this.
[identity profile] aprilest.livejournal.com

Mark here, giving you the intro to the Loftmates. Evie didn't feel like doing it - she's not having a very good day. (Good DAY? The girl's been having a bad MONTH! - April) We're seperate, but in the end, we're all Evie. (I never really thought about calling us a "we" until pretty recently... - Evie) So I guess we're all one person - not really multiple. Unless... Well, we saw something about gateways? Didn't get to look it up, yet.

We liked the description someone else gave of their situation - made sense. Everyone's mind is a house. Singles have one permanent resident, Multiples have more than one, and they were between - a way-house, as it were, people came in and stayed, sometimes for a day, a week, or long-term, but not really "permanent".

That's like us. (No, you think? - Fae) Most of us were, originally either characters for a story or THOUGHT to be characters for a story and thus used like such. But we're really not. We've moved in. Lots of characters don't actually move in. And there are sometimes different versions of us. It's a way-house, all of us but Evie are walk-ins. (But I've had walk-ins of some sort or another for as long as I can remember. - Evie) There's actually even a seperate group - the Pubbers, they live in a little pub called the Drown'd Duck. They used to talk to her a lot, when she didn't have any real life friends. They've pretty much quieted down, though. The pub's not really in Evie's head - it's just nearby, so they were always making visits. (Mark... when did I tell you all this? You are WAY too good at finding stuff out. - Evie)

Oh, yeah, and we like to interrupt each other - especially when writing or chatting - and tend to make comments on what anyone else is saying. (That's because it's FUN! - Evie&April)

Yes. So. It's definitely not multiple, but it's not single either. It's just... us. The Loftmates.

[identity profile] fayanora.livejournal.com
Okay, another debate we've been having in this system is over mid-continuum. We should mention off the bat that one or more of us (and most assuredly Tristan, aka "the core") may have something called Asperger Syndrome, which makes it hard for us to read people and understand them. Kind of like social dyslexia. Takes so much effort to us to mostly comprehend outsiders that too much and we get burned out.

Anyway, so the debate is: Are we mid-continuum? After trying to figure out before what the term even meant (check the archives, a post about "median") we were thinking we weren't. But then another system (dunno who) referred to mid-continuum as being like Ancient Egyptian Gods, where they could combine, ie Amun and Ra becoming Amun-Ra, and then split again.

We tried defining our state by calling ourselves a "society of telepaths" but we think that metaphor was incorrect. With all the thinking time we have at work, we've been ruminating over it and now we want to try to understand "mid-continuum" more. Please be aware that we need things explained as simply as possible, preferably with metaphors that most humans in this western society know, because common ground is very important in both understanding input from outsiders and explaining things to outsiders. Which is why we use metaphor and similie so much.

We want to understand this topic once and for all, so we can settle this internal debate about mid-continuum. Because Alexander and a couple others are holding out on saying "Yes we are" until we're sure we have it understood properly.

---The Fayanora System
[identity profile] ex-visual-sy218.livejournal.com
Can someone explain "Median" to me?

I've read what I could and it still doesn't make sense. I don't get "not singular but not plural".

[identity profile] hexpiritus.livejournal.com
Some questions, if I may:

1) I am confused as to the level of strong responses to my previous post containing the Hofstadter quote. Though I was expecting a lively discussion, there seemed to be a level of hostility or annoyance that I was not prepared for-- I may be mistaken, of course. In any case, was it the quote itself that aggravated people? Is quotes discouraged on this forum, or is only quotes directly pertaining to multiplicity alone allowed, and not quotes that may be indirectly related? Should I have stated my intentions concerning posting the quote in this community so as to have cleared up confusion before it began? Cata keeps claiming that we were being attacked somehow, but I find no firm, logical evidence of her assumption, and so would really like to get to the heart of the matter.

2) Though I have posted previously, albeit a while go, on the innerworkings of our system, it seems recent events and abilities within may have changed the appropriate identification of our processes-- at least for the purposes of such communities that require correct identification. We have always thought of ourselves as multiple/plural for two years, but the ability that's arisen where we integrate at will, and usually safely, to combine consciousness and skills, and then separate, may put us in the "median" category. I'd really like some feedback on the particular division with multiple and median.

3) My significant other, also a multiple, is stressed and alarmed that two of the entities within their system has walked out on them (let's call them the Elf-Star). A shaman-type woman claims that one of the entities that was once in the Elf-Star, which they just referred to as Phoenix, is now in her. Is that possible, that entities can walk out of one body and right into another?

Thanks for your patience.
-Stel of Hexpiritus
[identity profile] fireincarnation.livejournal.com
I have a specific group of people in my system who refer to themselves as Pam. Most of them are the remnants of when the original owner of this body went nuts and split. The rest of us are here because we are past lives, soulbonds, or we needed a refuge. Just before Pam descended into madness, she created me, Mela. The Pams very seldom front or deal with the outside world--they are scared, and have been burnt too much. I (and the other core members of the system) think it is critical to help heal (probably not integrate, but definitely heal) the Pams. I've been "in charge" of the system for four years now and we've made amazing progress, but we feel that the next step is to help the original member. We can't move forward as a system until we can help the Pams to become more functional.

Anyone else have a similar experience?

Also, my parents have taken to reading "An Unquiet Mind." I think this is a book about bipolar. Does anyone else have any experience of this book? Is it helpful at all, or do I have some work ahead of me dispelling them of some ideas?

Any suggestions of a good book about multiplicity? bipolar?

A Question

Jun. 22nd, 2005 01:58 pm
[identity profile] appadil.livejournal.com
After seeing lots of reassurance lately on other posts that there's no such thing as a stupid question, I'd like to ask something I've been wondering about for a while.

And yeah, I know that it's addressed in various FAQs, but I have yet to find a definition that I really understood... so I was hoping that maybe someone here could help me find a definition that makes sense to me, so I can stop feeling stupid about it.

What, exactly, is a median, and what is it like to be one?

Thanks in advance to anyone who answers.
[identity profile] angie-the-red.livejournal.com
So, I've read both Astrea and Blackbirds, and things are slowly kind of falling into place. I'm trying to make sense out of the various things in my head. Reviewing all of that, and some very diligent meditation on various points, has led me to believe that I am not a singlet. Can I absolutely say that I'm a complete multiple? Not sure I'm to that point yet. At the moment, I think that I would consider myself a median, if I'm interpreting things correctly. A few of the things that really stuck out, that I hadn't mentioned previously, were certain abilities, and handwriting. Using these, I feel certain of one other, and she has her own personality, but I'm not sure how independant she is. This is going to take a lot of puzzling, so if I get too wordy just poke me with a sharp stick or something. *g*

Under normal circumstances I can't draw a straight line, much less anything else. However, there is something I can tap into, call up, whatever, and if I keep that up front, then I can draw exceptionally well. But as soon as I release that, it's back to scribbling like my 8 year old. I have to stay in that "zone" and it's almost an obsessive thing, and if I lose it, then I have to wait until it decides to come back. I'm not sure how developed this one is. She doesn't talk much, just kind of shows up and I really have to hang on to her when she does, she doesn't like to be interrupted.

The handwriting was another thing that gave me quite a bit of pause. If I go back and read my journal that I kept, I can see at least three different styles of handwriting. One is very clean and crisp, the loops are there, but tight, and it all flows beautifully. One is what I would call my usual handwriting, it's sloppy, it has nice large loops, the y's and p's are triangular on the bottom loops, there are hooks all over the place. Then there is a third one that is all printing. Very boxy. There is also one that is a mix of the sloppy one and the print. I don't recall any conscious decision to change my handwriting, and was actually quite surprised to see the very crisp, neat one in my journal. The tone during those entries is very clinical. Making observations, but not expressing any emotion.

The boxy print takes up nearly two years, but is interrupted in places by the mixed one. The mixed one is very melodramatic. The boxy print is secretive. Nothing is specific. In fact, it's half sentences in many places. It used plenty of emotion, but no names, and no definitive descriptions. It's incredibly vague about everything. You would think I was practicing to be a secret agent! And I remember the things I was writing about. I think this script belongs to the one that I can really say is seperate and most well defined. She's the one I usually feel driving, when I'm the one in the back seat. She's all about bravado, and she's fiercely protective. She's the one that I have no control over her coming up, and on the other hand, looking back, I think I can sometimes sense her pushing up front, but I sure as heck can't stop her. I feel like once she's said her piece, I can move her back and then the usual me has to do some damage control. Then again, since she isn't dependant on me, then that wouldn't make me a median, would it?

So, I'm off to ponder some more and see about the artist and also on my suspicion of who the elegant writing belongs to.


Mar. 14th, 2005 07:17 pm
[identity profile] beandelphiki.livejournal.com
Does anyone have information about median/midcontinuum experiences? I've been searching, but am mostly getting the same short blurbs from page to page - the two links I've found that look like they might go to larger pages are both either down right now or totally defunct. :\

Also, I ran across something that suggested these terms are looked down upon in the online multiple community. Is this true? If so, why?

Thanks in advance for any help!

[identity profile] thisslideup.livejournal.com
Hello. I'm new, and I figured I'd introduce myself.

I'm Chedd, and I just recently started searching around for multiples websites. I never really considered myself to have full-blown multiple personality disorder--in all of my past experinces with therapists and psychologists, no one has ever made it sound that way. But there are certain and distinct parallels.

I never considered myself a 'we'. The fact that there were several parts to my inner self was about as natural as having four individual limbs--and I'd never describe them as separate entities in and of themselves.

Among us, there was only one rule. If Caustic dies, we all die.

Caustic is the lifeline. We are all simply a part of him. And that was the only law that we were governed under. If the rest of us failed, we'd never be the same, but only partially impaired.

In my past, there have been many 'characters'. And when they are no longer of use to me, they retire to the town in my head, simply called The City. Most City residents never leave their respective apartments once they enter, and therefore, never interfere with the current, necissary 'characters'.

Currently, my active characters number 4. Each governs a specific set of my emotions and personality quirks. There is Corrosive, the main character, who is morose, pessimistic, and masochistic. He is hateful and cynical and sarcastic, and hates everyone--especially the other 3 characters.

There is Donnie, who is gay, and in charge of my love. If ever i feel giddy, happy, or engrossed in affection, I blame it on him.

Donnie's boyfriend is Chester, who is the shy introvert. He's quiet and rarely makes a fuss, and is hesitant to trust anyone.

And finally, Caustic, who is the embodiment of my personality as a conglomeration of these other three. His stupid mistakes and decisions are mine, his overreacting, his wit (and lack thereof), his kitschy, immature, faithless life echoes mine. He is effected by everyone else's actions.

They live together in a collapsing studio apartment with 7 locks on the doors, with furniature consisting of a bar, a TV on a milk carton, and a single mattress.

They are moody and stark. And after being cooped up with so many diverse personalities, they all hate eachother.

When people say they hate themselves, they're generally talking about hating a distinct part of their personality or action. Instead, I can pinpoint the exact entity responsible for the defection of character.

I've written a lot about these four, in addition with many of my other past characters. ((Some extermely symbolic examples are Chester, who lived in an ivory tower that looked down over the world, and the mexican boy locked in a basement who laughed insanely, and all who heard him felt like they were missing out on something.))

If anyone can relate, I'd love to talk. I'm not sure if I belong here, but I also have many other spiritual connections that may be of interest, if this is not.

If you'd like to talk, IM me at CountCheddica@aol.com
[identity profile] glitterglass.livejournal.com
I just noticed this post about "coming out" right now, since I don't read communities every day. I guess I'll stop lurking here. I'm not a multiple. I'm not thinking about becoming a psychologist.

I'm a (mostly) single that is starting to identify with being part of the mid continuum. It's nerve wracking to me. I have real issues with lost time during traumas (quite a few early life years with only blackness and late teenage years of maybe one or two memories and a lot of blackness). The time bleeds through, but it's like I'm watching someone else control my memories.

I've been interested in DID for about ten years (and I'm about to turn 21). I own many books written by and for multiples and I've read others that I do not own. I always wondered why I was so interested in having other people to take my pain for me, and I am trying to understand...well, it all started when I suddenly had memories that I didn't feel belonged to me. I still don't know if it's just because I am blocking things out or if there's someone else in there that I don't know about yet.

So, this, for me, is a place where I can maybe read more from multiples' views and find out more about what is going on inside me. It scares me that there might be a lot of memories that I am not holding that are in there. I just hope you all can help me or just let me stay and read what you have to say. Sorry this is so long, but thank you for reading it. :)


Nov. 13th, 2003 06:30 pm
[identity profile] taka-kitsune.livejournal.com
My name's Ariel...
and I'm not quite sure what I am.

I don't know if I count as a "multiple" or not. Here's my attempt to explain what goes on in my head:
I have a lot of very distinct... personas? Is that the right word? They each have their own personalities, emotions, opinions, past-life histories, talents and moods. Even things like gender and (dare I say it) species change between people. Some of them even suffer from mental illness outside the whole.
Yet all of them are included within a single "I." When I switch "people," there is a "me" that is switching modes. I have everyone's memories, and the like, though the memories I naturally associate things with are the memories of the "person" I am at the time. I can usually consciously change between, but a lot of times it sort of shifts according to what's going on, or who would be the most interested in what's happening. Sometimes I don't really have any control at all over who I am.
Re-reading this, the words really aren't explaining it that well. I'm not exactly the most articulate of "us," but... well... I'm who's here.
So am I multiple? Is this a "system" even though there is only one consciousness? It's just hard to figure out, sometimes, how I can be so many distinct individuals, and yet all part of a whole. I don't even know what to call them.
[identity profile] indigo-ashes.livejournal.com
I joined this community under the name charcoalrain last year but i never got up the courage to introduce myself.

My name is Ani and I am the main person here.

I would describe our system as median as opposed to just straight multiple, seeing as I am almost always aware of everything that goes on weather I am fronting or not. Although I have lost awareness of myself many times when the second most dominant persona (Okonamae (Switch)) was fronting.

The body is 18, female, short, brunette and french, living in central Canada.

I am 18 female etc...

I am the current evolution of the orriginal personality.

Now onto the others.

Like I said the other most active one of us is Okonamae Switch, I will most often refer to her as switch since it is her favorite nickname.

Switch is a pixie, age is subject to question seeing as she is very smart but quite young in action, she bahaves like a 3-6 year old most of the time but is deep and caring towards the people she cares about. For someone seemingly so young she is surprsingly adult.

I'm sure she'll introduce herself in a few days.

I have pictures to show.

Read more... )

Switch and I aren't the only two inhabitants, infact the current number of persona's is subject to question.

I could (and have) write a ten page essay about us as a collective but I'll spare you that for now ;)

I'm tired so I'm gonna go join my love in bed.

Ani & co.


Feb. 26th, 2003 04:05 am
[identity profile] joyless-abyss.livejournal.com
I am unsure if I am Median or Multiple or not, but being the way I am makes me feels like this sometimes:- Like I am faking it. Like I am a singlet who sub-conciously longs to be multiple and has not only lied to others about this state, but to himself as well. Like I've tricked myself into believing I have many selves. Yet they all seem very real to me - but is that just because I have deluded myself well.

I ask myself these questions often. And I feel angry at myself. And confused. Angry that I could fake this, that I could be so disrespectful (IF I am faking) and confused because it all feels very real to me.

Sometimes months go by without one of my 'others' making an appearance to me, sometimes they just come to say something to me, and other times they are around more than I am.

Occaisionally I even conciously mould a new 'other' from the feel of a person I sense inside myself. Manipulating slightly their looks to suit myself. And quite often when a new 'other' surfaces, we have to actually discuss with this new person what they would like their name to be.

I also know that there are several others which we have been unable to communicate with.

I do experience walk-ins on rare occaisions.

I'm very confused here, and I don't know if we are Multiple, Median or just a deranged Singlet.

I apologise if I have used any terms which are not suitable. We're not quite sure which terms are meant to be used.

We appreciate any feedback if you choose to reply, and I'm sorry if this message is just a waste of your time.

-Andy and Amanda Shortland.


Feb. 26th, 2003 03:40 am
[identity profile] joyless-abyss.livejournal.com
What is median and mid-continuum? I've often wondered about this, because I've heard that it is like multiplicity except centered a lot around one person in the system.

I'd like as much info on this as possible, and I'd greatly appreciate any help I can get on this.

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_zephyra_/
Is there anyone else here who doesn't like this term very much?

I don't like the feel of it because "mid" sort of implies half-way to somewhere, which makes me question where the "destination" is: Multiple or Singular?

My Other (who has since gone quiet), didn't like the term for other, more mundane reasons. Continuum always made her think of Star trek, and the Q species.

We had been trying to come up with another term to use instead. We came up with Demi-being, Semi-being, and semi-plural, though I'm still working on finding the term that sounds right for us. Semi-plural feels best so far.


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