Question for Systems

[mercuryisme.livejournal.com]

For those of you that embraced, or at least acknowledged and were aware of your multiplicity long ago:

Do you think this awareness "created" more personalities (allowed them to be born, or however you'd like to describe it), let personalities come out of the woodwork, stop being shadows, or-

Did you find that as you became more aware of the extent of the multiplicity, your system became comprised of fewer and fewer members?

The main question, in simple terms: Did fully realizing that you were part of a system create in any way MORE personalities or LESS personalities? Did this answer surprise you?

Any way you can find to answer these questions, any thoughts you have on this topic, or any way to revise this question would be of great help. This isn't for any sort of study, just my curiosity.

As always, this was not meant to be degrading in any way. I have a hard time explaining questions I have about multiplicity because I'm not a multiple, so bear with me.

- Laurr

Comments

[dinogrrl.livejournal.com]

I'm not really sure. I can't tell if I've acquired more people simply because I've been alive longer than when I first realized I had headvoices, and the old ones refused to leave. Or if, like you suggested, more come because I've gotten used to it and kinda half expect it now.

[idianshire.livejournal.com]

Created? No

Aware of more? Yes

We found that when each of us was willing to accept and respect our own multiplicity it was easier for different groups to meet and open up lines of communication. So people who thought their own little group was the extent of people here, had to reassess that when they met people from other groups. We had always been there, but there was a lot of hostility and fear that meant there was no real communication between groups

[linnai.livejournal.com]

Really interesting question, this.

In some ways it created more maybe, and in some ways less.

What I mean is. There are about 41 people in our system, total. When it became apparent and undeniable that we were a We, there were a lot of us very near to the front, half our numbers, maybe more.

Now we have a pretty condensed rotation of at most 10 individuals normally. Usually two to five of us near the Front.

So... both, more and less...

And at the same time, the being aware of the state of being solidified many of us and at the same time cleared away many fragmented... echoes?

[ex-khailitha846.livejournal.com]

This is a pretty good description of our experience.

[linnai.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it's good (sort of reassuring) to know you aren't the only one that experiences things in a particular way.

[transman58.livejournal.com]

yeah, i feel as though since i've been aware of the others more of them are able to come forward. it's been a difficult struggle for me because i didn't want to believe it. now that i do, however, things have gotten a great deal easier and i'm having a lot less problems and lost time.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Encouraged them to come out of the woodwork.

"Did fully realizing that you were part of a system create in any way MORE personalities or LESS personalities? Did this answer surprise you?"

It didn't create, but made me aware of how many there were. What took me a long time was allowing myself to recognize that what I was experiencing in terms of the gateway system wasn't just a "metaphor" for my own mental processes. Which, besides "oh you're just fantasizing", is the other thing you'll hear about people with large or complex inner/other/subjective worlds.

Also, *points to what idianshire says*. That too.

[stealthdragon.livejournal.com]

Neither of the above - we've been stable at three members for quite some time.

- Kat

[submissives.livejournal.com]

I think that becoming aware of my multiplicity either created more splits from myself, or allowed more people to come out of the woodwork who were already just there, or maybe both. There are a few (3-5 maybe) people here who I can say with 97% certainty were originally split from me. But for all I know maybe I was split from one of them lol. This is very confusing to me because I think I have always been here and that this is my body and I share it with all of them. They are fine with that and have yet to figure out how accurate it is.

Anyway, I do think that part of the reason it had gotten up to 1300 in numbers in here was because people were continually being "born" (we use that word usually now instead of created) after I found out about the first 12 or so.

(I should note that the words used here are mine and my beliefs for my system only and not everyone in here agrees with me on these subjects usually.)

sj

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

Even though we were aware of natural multiplicity by the time we acknowledged ourselves as plural, for a long time we were still sort of unconsciously trying to fit the MPD/DID mold, and felt that we'd somehow be more 'real' if we fit it, since that was the only one acknowledged by doctors and by most of society. We were looking for certain 'types of alters' for a while, unconsciously, or categorizing new people according to that kind of scheme. I think for a while we were kind of splitting hairs and misinterpreting moods as people because we were looking for 'certain types,' or constructing facades to fill roles.

Azusa (who had been the 'dominant frontrunner' at the time when others first began to re-assert themselves) also had very strict rules for a while about who qualified as real and who didn't. For a while, anyone who seemed to be 'otherworldly,' or 'from a story,' she would consider to be not real, or at least not quite as real as those who seemed to have no personal history apart from this body. (Oddly, people who had never fronted before were also expected to be able to come up front and use the body instantly, or else *they* were considered to be 'just fragments.') We did eventually end up throwing out all those rules, but it took us a while to shake them off-- both the expectations of people and the idea that some were less real than others, and the idea that following the MPD model made one more real and valid.

[gryphons.livejournal.com]

For us.. I don't think it created anymore.. more like finally being able to learn about those that were here.. and it still took a long time to learn about those I know about now.. (I've learned to never say everybody)

[little-heather.livejournal.com]

What my mom sj from submissives forgot to say was that we do not know for sure if this system was born out of abuse or not. It was always thought that it was but later she had to admit to herself that a lot of stuff didnt add up about what she had been told about the abuse from others in here. We think there are a couple ounces of truth in it somewhere but a lot of it was made up and fed to her by people inside who actually believed what they were saying so she having no reason to doubt them believed them too. I think her believing that she had been so terribly abused caused the system to grow at a rapid pace for the next several years.

In the last couple years the system has been getting smaller due to a number of different things some of which were apparently beyond our control. She is glad it got smaller but not happy about the way some of it happened. She would like it to be even less people in here than there is now but she wont force anyone to leave so she just deals with it. Thankfully it is cooperative here now.

So the real answer to your question for us I would say is becoming aware that she was multiple and supposedly abused caused more people to be born. After accepting and dealing with being multiple for several years though, some of those people spontaneously left by choice.

lh

[luwana.livejournal.com]

Created, not as such. But it left the door open for more since I accepted it. We've had one new member since then, possiblities for more.

[jadedmosaic.livejournal.com]

Who was there that we knew said they had always been there . For us some just did not make themselves known till there was someone to check out the world with them .Sorta saftey in numbers kinda thing.

After a unsucsessful integration 6 years ago More showed up . Once again they said they had always been there just had not shown themselves till in a group. Tiea & Toni & Elaine

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

No... we've been a stable threesome for decades. In the past we had occasional 'visitors' of debatable nature and varying degrees of plausibility, but seem to be over that now.