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Different Eating Habits
Feb. 27th, 2006 04:26 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
adreamerforme.livejournal.comI have a really serious question that deals with a issue my system is currently dealing with.
How do you deal with making everyone happy in their different eating habits?
( background info and the sorts )
I really, honestly don't know what to do. Any advise is helpful.
How do you deal with making everyone happy in their different eating habits?
( background info and the sorts )
I really, honestly don't know what to do. Any advise is helpful.
A mess, and lacking order
Feb. 2nd, 2006 02:11 ammonozukineko.livejournal.comI want some kind of order to my head.
I mean, now that I've been essentially told off by one of my headmates, and noticing that the more tired I am, the more they seem to babble and chatter amongst themselves and make me that much more tired... the more I'd really like a way to structure who gets to say what when. Like, organize 'shifts.'
There's been some debate as to how it would actually work, but I'm more concerned with: is it possible at all, or is it by its very nature doomed to the problems of spontaneity? Is it fair to restrict them to some kind of schedule-- is it fair to *me?*
Any thoughts?
I mean, now that I've been essentially told off by one of my headmates, and noticing that the more tired I am, the more they seem to babble and chatter amongst themselves and make me that much more tired... the more I'd really like a way to structure who gets to say what when. Like, organize 'shifts.'
There's been some debate as to how it would actually work, but I'm more concerned with: is it possible at all, or is it by its very nature doomed to the problems of spontaneity? Is it fair to restrict them to some kind of schedule-- is it fair to *me?*
Any thoughts?
jhonathand.livejournal.comSo this is really the first time I've said anything,...
Does anyone else have trouble with getting your Brothers And/Or Sisters to 'Eat' Solid foods,.?
I can't get Either Frost Or Jake To Eat anything. I'll admit that I don't exactly have a fondness of eating, For The Most part I enjoy it though.
Frost Will drink Liquids, Mostly Coffee but Soda as well. I don't think I've ever caught him Drinking just Plain Water. Jake Won't eat or Drink Anything at all. It doesn't seem to phase him that the Body needs Hydration And/or Food. They both just seem to leave that up to me. I was just wondering if anyone else had that perdiciment.
Also;
( Maybe a little TMI. Very PC Though )
Any and all responses are most welcome. They don't even have to have a point. I just wanted to know if anyone else has these Obsticals and how (If There is a way) Did you get around them.
Thanx,
-M of ~M/Frost/Jake~
Does anyone else have trouble with getting your Brothers And/Or Sisters to 'Eat' Solid foods,.?
I can't get Either Frost Or Jake To Eat anything. I'll admit that I don't exactly have a fondness of eating, For The Most part I enjoy it though.
Frost Will drink Liquids, Mostly Coffee but Soda as well. I don't think I've ever caught him Drinking just Plain Water. Jake Won't eat or Drink Anything at all. It doesn't seem to phase him that the Body needs Hydration And/or Food. They both just seem to leave that up to me. I was just wondering if anyone else had that perdiciment.
Also;
( Maybe a little TMI. Very PC Though )
Any and all responses are most welcome. They don't even have to have a point. I just wanted to know if anyone else has these Obsticals and how (If There is a way) Did you get around them.
Thanx,
-M of ~M/Frost/Jake~
fayanora.livejournal.comI'm sorry, everyone, for letting Alexander have free reign to say whatever the heck he wants to, especially when he pushes me aside when I'm posting as ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fayanora. He has his good points, but he has the unfortunate tendency to define himself by his anger. We keep telling him not to sully the body with his anger, and it doesn't help. Gods, though... I'm just glad to know I have control over him now if I exercise it. (Before I understood what was going on, I didn't understand where his anger kept coming from.)
From now on, he's confined to his own journal. And I'm going to make him write positive entries now and then, see if we can cure him of his anger problems. He is so much more than his anger*, but he's afraid to let go of that since I guess he sees himself as protector... I hope I can teach him that he'll still be around without his anger. Wish me luck, please. (Though it's not hopeless... I used to think he had no sense of humor at all, but I recently got him to laugh with genuine mirth.)
Blessings;
---Fayanora-Tristan
* For example, he's great to debate with (at least within our system), though it takes a lot of concentration and carefully chosen words for me to diffuse his anger.
fayanora. He has his good points, but he has the unfortunate tendency to define himself by his anger. We keep telling him not to sully the body with his anger, and it doesn't help. Gods, though... I'm just glad to know I have control over him now if I exercise it. (Before I understood what was going on, I didn't understand where his anger kept coming from.)From now on, he's confined to his own journal. And I'm going to make him write positive entries now and then, see if we can cure him of his anger problems. He is so much more than his anger*, but he's afraid to let go of that since I guess he sees himself as protector... I hope I can teach him that he'll still be around without his anger. Wish me luck, please. (Though it's not hopeless... I used to think he had no sense of humor at all, but I recently got him to laugh with genuine mirth.)
Blessings;
---Fayanora-Tristan
* For example, he's great to debate with (at least within our system), though it takes a lot of concentration and carefully chosen words for me to diffuse his anger.
Part of a system I am
Dec. 3rd, 2005 10:57 pmdark-musashi.livejournal.comWell.. hi there. I'm new to the community. I've been multiple for a long time, I've known about it for 3 years, and it has been only 15 days I can put a word on what I DO ACTUALLY have. MPD or DID doesn't sound too good when you know the definition of the disorders.
There's only someone else in my system. Same gender ( both of us are girls in a girl body, that helps), about same age, same specie, same tastes, but different behaviour and different thinking. Her name is Jessica. You can use my username to call me.
I've read about multiplicity, but I still have some questions.
( Follow the cut )
I'm greeting everyone from everyone's system! Alas, I don't think you should expect a comment from Jessica.
There's only someone else in my system. Same gender ( both of us are girls in a girl body, that helps), about same age, same specie, same tastes, but different behaviour and different thinking. Her name is Jessica. You can use my username to call me.
I've read about multiplicity, but I still have some questions.
( Follow the cut )
I'm greeting everyone from everyone's system! Alas, I don't think you should expect a comment from Jessica.
(no subject)
Nov. 26th, 2005 11:31 amazraile.livejournal.comOh something I kinda remember that confuses me a little....
One of the main resons Kitsu says she will not frunt is becose if she did she says she knows they wouldn't be able to get me back to the frunt again
The most I can remember is beign pushed aside some by my feral side as my ragefull anger trasfured to her and we kinda lost it a couple times, then i'm just kind shoved aside as she takes over and i gota calm her and myself down
so i've never realy been fully not in control and remembered it (though i think kitsu did some stuff once while I was sleeping)
So this makes me wonder...... whats it like when your not furnting, that kitsu thinks I would wana stay that way?
One of the main resons Kitsu says she will not frunt is becose if she did she says she knows they wouldn't be able to get me back to the frunt again
The most I can remember is beign pushed aside some by my feral side as my ragefull anger trasfured to her and we kinda lost it a couple times, then i'm just kind shoved aside as she takes over and i gota calm her and myself down
so i've never realy been fully not in control and remembered it (though i think kitsu did some stuff once while I was sleeping)
So this makes me wonder...... whats it like when your not furnting, that kitsu thinks I would wana stay that way?
ex-nanonyan.livejournal.com*sigh* Might as well ask, since it's been a problem for ages, even though I don't like showing weakness..
I've been the primary fronter for a very long time - three and a half years now. They made me, I guess you could say, to stay in charge of things, which I am doing. From the moment I was born and awake I was in charge and couldn't escape it (which was hard). If someone switched out it was only for a short time. Everyone decided on this and worked together to make it happen that way because they weren't able to handle various things that were going on in our lives and made someone who had enough context-sensitive "good parts" to be able to handle what was going on. (Specifically, they needed a girl in front and there weren't any in the system.)
Anyway, the problems have passed and now we all want to have a normal system where everyone shares time pretty much equally. (That's what normal would be for us right now, anyway.) Thing is, it's hard! *Really* hard! It's hard for others to stay out and it's hard for me to let them stay out. We made this rule, me and the others in our council, that if I didn't let someone out in the space of two days they'd be let out for three hours and I couldn't stop them. That worked, as in someone came out and I couldn't help it, but I was going SO crazy from not having fronting control that the council held an emergency session and had me back in front in ten minutes or so. The poor girl who ended up coming out was also pretty stressed out by the situation and is still recovering.
I have no idea what to do. We have no idea what to do. I'm not used to being in the back, and they're not used to being in the front. I'm scared, they're scared, and nobody's equipped or strong enough to be able to stay out for any extensive period of time. I thought that if we kept doing it, it'd get easier, and it did, but the habits are so strong that it's almost impossible to keep with it. Eventually I forget, stop thinking about it, and then I don't grow or change at all.
Anyone ever had a problem with having had a monopoly and then having to figure out how to get rid of the old habits? Any suggestions? o.x
I've been the primary fronter for a very long time - three and a half years now. They made me, I guess you could say, to stay in charge of things, which I am doing. From the moment I was born and awake I was in charge and couldn't escape it (which was hard). If someone switched out it was only for a short time. Everyone decided on this and worked together to make it happen that way because they weren't able to handle various things that were going on in our lives and made someone who had enough context-sensitive "good parts" to be able to handle what was going on. (Specifically, they needed a girl in front and there weren't any in the system.)
Anyway, the problems have passed and now we all want to have a normal system where everyone shares time pretty much equally. (That's what normal would be for us right now, anyway.) Thing is, it's hard! *Really* hard! It's hard for others to stay out and it's hard for me to let them stay out. We made this rule, me and the others in our council, that if I didn't let someone out in the space of two days they'd be let out for three hours and I couldn't stop them. That worked, as in someone came out and I couldn't help it, but I was going SO crazy from not having fronting control that the council held an emergency session and had me back in front in ten minutes or so. The poor girl who ended up coming out was also pretty stressed out by the situation and is still recovering.
I have no idea what to do. We have no idea what to do. I'm not used to being in the back, and they're not used to being in the front. I'm scared, they're scared, and nobody's equipped or strong enough to be able to stay out for any extensive period of time. I thought that if we kept doing it, it'd get easier, and it did, but the habits are so strong that it's almost impossible to keep with it. Eventually I forget, stop thinking about it, and then I don't grow or change at all.
Anyone ever had a problem with having had a monopoly and then having to figure out how to get rid of the old habits? Any suggestions? o.x
there talkin Snow
Oct. 24th, 2005 07:16 pmjadedmosaic.livejournal.comYep its Rochester , there talkin snow tonight a perfect end to a perfect day. hey all Shelby here . Hi
We spent the whole night and day arguing with Elaine as usual about her wanting to be a free bird and fly West to go to School , only to come home to a freezing House and a prediction of Snow . We sent the brat to her room . She is driving all of us nuts talking about living somewhere else .We dont want to make the cardinal mistake and say " If you dont like the rules here you could leave" Cause this kid she will. She would leave without blinking a eye .
Tiea is real sick still and it turns out I fought with Elaine all day. She kept Punching me in the gut to ,move to the side , Knocking the wind out of me and taking my time to prove her point . It proved she does not do it well. Shes 16 going on 30 I swear . Now she can prove it in her room . With no visits from the other teens . I swear there is always one . She gets all the teens rieled up all the time with HER civil rights and living in a fake democrocy . Right now I have a huge hedache and am feeling Tiea's fever and aches . Its going to take a week or so to get this med out of our system and I think worse getting off it .
Thank God it was Monday . Too busy for the T to get on our nerves . We see him tomorrow Elaine hitchhicked a ride to work with us , where she did not belong . If the t finds out he'll go balistic . It was so much easier when she was 7 years old .
I do understand her but we cannot just pick up and move . We told her we would take her to see some campuses for a two year program .
She is the most seperate person from us all . She has never got the concept she lives in a body with others . This is because she sees us all differnt on the inside . Sorry if she is trying to start a commotion with others system teens . She is a born leader and she tends to inspire others in her mischief . I wish we could let her do what she wants . Speaking of bodies my body is killing me . We cant believe there calling for snow already .With Elaine if were not careful we could end up on a plane or a train or a bus . Sorry she s been ranting online . She tried to delete it but we found it she was up all night last night and she does not get how that effects us. Long Day . Hope you all had a good one
Peace to you all, well its dinner time Catch ya all later Sorry about Elaine Peace Shelby
First Post
Oct. 23rd, 2005 11:19 pmtashiro.livejournal.comI thought I'd join this community, and to start things off, this is my brother's post in my LJ. I found his post earlier in the morning -- I allow him to post in my journal from time to time.
His name is Mark, a member of my group. I prefer to consider them my brothers and sisters, rather than anything else. It feels better this way. I'm not really sure what to say to him, perhaps others with less of a direct attachment to him could offer insight.
-- Kit
Since Kit isn't present right now, I thought I'd post instead. It has been a while since I've made any commentary on this journal, but then I normally don't have much to say. Samantha has considered posting in her journal as well, but she's not been feeling very reflective. I, on the other hand, have been thinking for the last little while, and tonight it seems to have come to some sort of head. I thought I'd post my thoughts here, and see how they turn out, since my emotions are a jumble right now. This seemed like a good method for getting things organized, so that perhaps I could come to some sort of understanding with myself.
Purpose. I feel like any purpose I have has long since gone. At one time, we supported Kit, and helped him through a number of tough places. Now, I don't think we have that kind of duty anymore. Except for me, Shawn, Samantha, and Daryl, most of the others are fairly quiet and out of the way. It takes effort, at times, to remember they're even still there. Samantha and I, of course, are still the most active of the group, but I feel lately that I lack any true definition that would make me 'me'.
I am finding myself second-guessing what to write here. Some of it seems disjointed, rambling, but I feel the need to get this out of my system. One of my problems is a personal one, having to do with my feelings for someone, and, essentially, a loss of hope. You see, I have this gift I want to send to someone. It isn't terribly romantic, but it is something I felt would suit them and make them smile. I still want to send this present, but now I don't know if it is the right thing to do. I have a romantic interest in this person, but it is not something that will work out. When I found out a friend of mine was interested in the same person I was, I felt perhaps, that if the two of them got together, I could, to some extent, experience the relationship vicariously. My friend is someone I like and can trust, I feel, and it would allow me to be a part of this relationship by knowing both people involved.
As things are, this isn't happening. The person I like has met someone else, who lives closer to her, and things are going well for her and her boyfriend. A part of me is glad, because she is happy, and in the end that is what is important. A part of me however, is accepting that this means less contact, and certain restraints. I do not know this person she has met, and they do not know me. It would not be right, I feel, to allow myself to have any personal connections with her.
Of course, I knew this would happen a while ago, regardless. Circumstances dictated that no matter what, my life is not my own, and no matter how much I may care for someone, and even if they care for me, my situation kills any hope of having a normal relationship.
On top of this, I feel like I am simply going through the motions these days. There is, really, no real purpose for me at this time. Kit is doing well, Samantha is settled for now, and really, my connection to other people is as it usually is - very low. My presence usually places a strain on Kit, we seems to have grown less accustomed to having more than one of us truly active at a time. More often than not now, it is an 'all or nothing' type of circumstance with him and I. Samantha can deal with it better, but I'm finding that as I lose interest in the outside world, it becomes harder to co-exist at the same time with anyone else. I'm still able to come up, or else this post wouldn't be here, but it seems to be harder to work in tandem.
There have been changes going on, we think. A shift in how things balance within our host. I don't know how things are changing, but they are.
His name is Mark, a member of my group. I prefer to consider them my brothers and sisters, rather than anything else. It feels better this way. I'm not really sure what to say to him, perhaps others with less of a direct attachment to him could offer insight.
-- Kit
Since Kit isn't present right now, I thought I'd post instead. It has been a while since I've made any commentary on this journal, but then I normally don't have much to say. Samantha has considered posting in her journal as well, but she's not been feeling very reflective. I, on the other hand, have been thinking for the last little while, and tonight it seems to have come to some sort of head. I thought I'd post my thoughts here, and see how they turn out, since my emotions are a jumble right now. This seemed like a good method for getting things organized, so that perhaps I could come to some sort of understanding with myself.
Purpose. I feel like any purpose I have has long since gone. At one time, we supported Kit, and helped him through a number of tough places. Now, I don't think we have that kind of duty anymore. Except for me, Shawn, Samantha, and Daryl, most of the others are fairly quiet and out of the way. It takes effort, at times, to remember they're even still there. Samantha and I, of course, are still the most active of the group, but I feel lately that I lack any true definition that would make me 'me'.
I am finding myself second-guessing what to write here. Some of it seems disjointed, rambling, but I feel the need to get this out of my system. One of my problems is a personal one, having to do with my feelings for someone, and, essentially, a loss of hope. You see, I have this gift I want to send to someone. It isn't terribly romantic, but it is something I felt would suit them and make them smile. I still want to send this present, but now I don't know if it is the right thing to do. I have a romantic interest in this person, but it is not something that will work out. When I found out a friend of mine was interested in the same person I was, I felt perhaps, that if the two of them got together, I could, to some extent, experience the relationship vicariously. My friend is someone I like and can trust, I feel, and it would allow me to be a part of this relationship by knowing both people involved.
As things are, this isn't happening. The person I like has met someone else, who lives closer to her, and things are going well for her and her boyfriend. A part of me is glad, because she is happy, and in the end that is what is important. A part of me however, is accepting that this means less contact, and certain restraints. I do not know this person she has met, and they do not know me. It would not be right, I feel, to allow myself to have any personal connections with her.
Of course, I knew this would happen a while ago, regardless. Circumstances dictated that no matter what, my life is not my own, and no matter how much I may care for someone, and even if they care for me, my situation kills any hope of having a normal relationship.
On top of this, I feel like I am simply going through the motions these days. There is, really, no real purpose for me at this time. Kit is doing well, Samantha is settled for now, and really, my connection to other people is as it usually is - very low. My presence usually places a strain on Kit, we seems to have grown less accustomed to having more than one of us truly active at a time. More often than not now, it is an 'all or nothing' type of circumstance with him and I. Samantha can deal with it better, but I'm finding that as I lose interest in the outside world, it becomes harder to co-exist at the same time with anyone else. I'm still able to come up, or else this post wouldn't be here, but it seems to be harder to work in tandem.
There have been changes going on, we think. A shift in how things balance within our host. I don't know how things are changing, but they are.
Trivial Conversation: Grocery shopping
Oct. 22nd, 2005 09:18 ammarrke.livejournal.comWe haven't ever met another multiple face to face. We're not even sure there are any others in the city we live (Corvallis, Oregon). This is a shame because I think it'd be fun to just make small talk with someone else similar to us. Not even about anything remotely serious mind you, but just about something quite unimportant.
Since we can't do that face to face, I figured that we might do something similar here. Today's topic I'd like to talk about is:
( Grocery shopping )
-Delilah
Since we can't do that face to face, I figured that we might do something similar here. Today's topic I'd like to talk about is:
( Grocery shopping )
-Delilah
fayanora.livejournal.comI'm not really good with intros, but I'll try.
I am a great many things. Pagan, transgendered (but not transsexual), Otherkin, strange age identity issues, and now, apparently, multiplicitous.
Actually, I've known I was multiplicitous for years now. But I think I may be unique here in that I'm fairly sure I was one being until about 1999. That was my year from hell, in which (among other things) I tried to rid myself of something I didn't like about myself through denial, and ended up fracturing myself. But unlike MPD or DID, I don't have blackouts. My personalities all seem to share both mind and body (including memories) equally, almost like a nation of telepaths. I think that we share so much because the attempted removal of said aspect of self was a complete failure... we created an agressive personality from that experience, but it was an incomplete personality (I would call it a frankie, which is a term from "Kiln People" by David Brin... a frankenstein copy of one's self, a chimera of sorts). Luckily, through acceptance and love, we re-integrated it into the whole... but continued to be "fractured."
Up until a few days ago, I tried convincing myself that they were like imaginary friends in my head. And they are, in a way... in that, I can create new ones when I want to. But the old ones tend to stick around unless they decide to "die." One in particular, my Goddess of many names (sometimes Shao'Kehn, other times Djao'Kain or Shoikin or Zyao'HKehn, etc), seems to have nested permanently in my head, and is always there for advice giving and reminders and to answer questions.
But there are others:
1. Alexander (or Tristan, which is my given name), my masculine side. (I am a male, but I feel much more female.)
2. Fayanora (Fay), my feminine side.
3. Molly Elizabeth - my inner child, a blond haired little girl who says she's seven and affects a younger voice than that. (Replacing many l's and r's with w's.)
4. Various others who talk or argue (usually amicably) amongst themselves, but have not given themselves names. (Who, by the way, have made me take ten minutes to figure out if there's anything I left out of this list, constantly editing and re-editing it before... okay, we get the picture!)
Yet, because we share so much, we tend to not care what names we're addressed by. This is probably because most of us blend together so much that it's often hard to tell which one is speaking at any given time, and often we speak collectively. The only exception being that Molly Elizabeth jealously guards her name... and has her own way of speaking. :-)
Does anyone have anything similar?
Bright Blessings;
---Tristan Alexander Arts/Fayanora
I am a great many things. Pagan, transgendered (but not transsexual), Otherkin, strange age identity issues, and now, apparently, multiplicitous.
Actually, I've known I was multiplicitous for years now. But I think I may be unique here in that I'm fairly sure I was one being until about 1999. That was my year from hell, in which (among other things) I tried to rid myself of something I didn't like about myself through denial, and ended up fracturing myself. But unlike MPD or DID, I don't have blackouts. My personalities all seem to share both mind and body (including memories) equally, almost like a nation of telepaths. I think that we share so much because the attempted removal of said aspect of self was a complete failure... we created an agressive personality from that experience, but it was an incomplete personality (I would call it a frankie, which is a term from "Kiln People" by David Brin... a frankenstein copy of one's self, a chimera of sorts). Luckily, through acceptance and love, we re-integrated it into the whole... but continued to be "fractured."
Up until a few days ago, I tried convincing myself that they were like imaginary friends in my head. And they are, in a way... in that, I can create new ones when I want to. But the old ones tend to stick around unless they decide to "die." One in particular, my Goddess of many names (sometimes Shao'Kehn, other times Djao'Kain or Shoikin or Zyao'HKehn, etc), seems to have nested permanently in my head, and is always there for advice giving and reminders and to answer questions.
But there are others:
1. Alexander (or Tristan, which is my given name), my masculine side. (I am a male, but I feel much more female.)
2. Fayanora (Fay), my feminine side.
3. Molly Elizabeth - my inner child, a blond haired little girl who says she's seven and affects a younger voice than that. (Replacing many l's and r's with w's.)
4. Various others who talk or argue (usually amicably) amongst themselves, but have not given themselves names. (Who, by the way, have made me take ten minutes to figure out if there's anything I left out of this list, constantly editing and re-editing it before... okay, we get the picture!)
Yet, because we share so much, we tend to not care what names we're addressed by. This is probably because most of us blend together so much that it's often hard to tell which one is speaking at any given time, and often we speak collectively. The only exception being that Molly Elizabeth jealously guards her name... and has her own way of speaking. :-)
Does anyone have anything similar?
Bright Blessings;
---Tristan Alexander Arts/Fayanora
functionality, next step!
Sep. 25th, 2005 05:50 pmchangelyng14.livejournal.comSo quite a while ago, we 'came out' to each other, learned how to front independently, had some major coping issues at first. one problem our natural communication method caused (we access each others memories) is we had memories of being someone that could do things that we couldn't necessarily do. for example, Tia 'remembered' knowing calculus, and remembered doing very well on calc quizzes, but under the new rules, she'd go to class, feel good, put pen to paper, and have no clue what she was doing. we have this problem all over the place with programming, teching (our major/profession) and such.
well when we figured out this was the way of things, we took a major slowdown, got on disability, and took some time getting used to our new rules.
in like, march we got out of that, and started working a pretty easy job that any of us could handle. steering clear of anything technical or stressful for a while. (we've actually been a bit more responsible then we were before, since we seem to have licked depression pretty solidly)
well were alot more practiced at this teamwork stuff, we've pulled off a shareware project or two, and were ready to see if we put our new controlled switching skilz to the test. (that and financial aid thinks its time to either take a class or start paying our loan) so viola! we start our first day of class tomorrow.
weve heard some advice about getting an overlay'ey thing working for crossing skills, but we just don't mix well at all. so our approach is to get myself (candy), lovecry, and synch (if he bothers to get involved) each independantly solid on the material. and Tia switching out, since she suuux at math, but defaces easily enough.
anyways, if anyones got any spiffy advice, please please. otherwise, wish us luck! Im personally pretty amped about it! wooo!
Candy Apple Red of the Changelyng System
Really Need Advice...
Sep. 5th, 2005 01:36 pmour-haven.livejournal.comOk, we've been having a huge problem lately, and it's mostly because of me.
We're a musician at the renaissance festival here, and so saturday and sunday every weekend we spend 12 hours on-site, playing music for 3 of those hours. It's pretty physcally exhausting, what with the heat+humidity, the instrument we play (the hammered dulcimer), and how we dance behind it while we play. It also requires an intense amount of concentration overall (at least one of us has to be really focused.) Since this is so important (this is how we make money!!) and since I'm a bit of a control freak, I usually can't seem to help trying to front all the time while we're playing! Jeremey (the old primary) was the one who first started playing the dulcimer years and years ago, and so he feels an automatic need to be the one playing, which I don't think he can really control, either.
Since there's SO much concentration needed, and since it's so important, I'm almost always conflicting with someone when I try to stay front and focus on playing. I can't seem to let go enough to let anyone else take over, and though I'm pretty sure they could do just as good a job, it absolutely terrifies me when I'm not in control in a situation that important! So, in the end, I wind up trying to front almost the entire day, and I get horribly exhausted and usually deteriorate into an emotional wreck by the end of each day. The part that scares me even more is that my playing starts to deteriorate as I fall apart, too. I have to fall back on all sorts of horrible coping skills to try and stay sane-- which doesn't always work, either-- and towards the end of the weekend all I can think about is "Okay... Just need to make it through today... Then I can fall apart and get shipped of to a ward if I need to."
It. Sucks.
Now, I know the obvious solution to this problem is simply to step back and let someone else take care of things, but like I said I don't seem to be able to. Whenever I'm "back" I'm still usually just under the surface, which really disturbs me since then I sometimes have a hard time sorting out me from everyone else. I still have a hard time dealing with being multiple at all some of the time, so when I'm sort-of co-front because three of us are trying to play the dulcimer at the same time, it really wrecks my mental state.
*sigh*
So what would really help me is if I could just find a way to go back more fully and let go enough to stay that way. My therapist totally agrees with me on that, but she doesn't really have any advice that will realistically help me to do that. So, I guess I'm kind-of stuck here. We had to miss this weekend, too, since I just didn't think I could handle it. I just lost about $300 in tips that we really needed for all sorts of things. That's really something we can't afford to have happen.
Any advice?
~Jem
We're a musician at the renaissance festival here, and so saturday and sunday every weekend we spend 12 hours on-site, playing music for 3 of those hours. It's pretty physcally exhausting, what with the heat+humidity, the instrument we play (the hammered dulcimer), and how we dance behind it while we play. It also requires an intense amount of concentration overall (at least one of us has to be really focused.) Since this is so important (this is how we make money!!) and since I'm a bit of a control freak, I usually can't seem to help trying to front all the time while we're playing! Jeremey (the old primary) was the one who first started playing the dulcimer years and years ago, and so he feels an automatic need to be the one playing, which I don't think he can really control, either.
Since there's SO much concentration needed, and since it's so important, I'm almost always conflicting with someone when I try to stay front and focus on playing. I can't seem to let go enough to let anyone else take over, and though I'm pretty sure they could do just as good a job, it absolutely terrifies me when I'm not in control in a situation that important! So, in the end, I wind up trying to front almost the entire day, and I get horribly exhausted and usually deteriorate into an emotional wreck by the end of each day. The part that scares me even more is that my playing starts to deteriorate as I fall apart, too. I have to fall back on all sorts of horrible coping skills to try and stay sane-- which doesn't always work, either-- and towards the end of the weekend all I can think about is "Okay... Just need to make it through today... Then I can fall apart and get shipped of to a ward if I need to."
It. Sucks.
Now, I know the obvious solution to this problem is simply to step back and let someone else take care of things, but like I said I don't seem to be able to. Whenever I'm "back" I'm still usually just under the surface, which really disturbs me since then I sometimes have a hard time sorting out me from everyone else. I still have a hard time dealing with being multiple at all some of the time, so when I'm sort-of co-front because three of us are trying to play the dulcimer at the same time, it really wrecks my mental state.
*sigh*
So what would really help me is if I could just find a way to go back more fully and let go enough to stay that way. My therapist totally agrees with me on that, but she doesn't really have any advice that will realistically help me to do that. So, I guess I'm kind-of stuck here. We had to miss this weekend, too, since I just didn't think I could handle it. I just lost about $300 in tips that we really needed for all sorts of things. That's really something we can't afford to have happen.
Any advice?
~Jem
(no subject)
Aug. 19th, 2005 10:25 pmhexpiritus.livejournal.comSome questions, if I may:
1) I am confused as to the level of strong responses to my previous post containing the Hofstadter quote. Though I was expecting a lively discussion, there seemed to be a level of hostility or annoyance that I was not prepared for-- I may be mistaken, of course. In any case, was it the quote itself that aggravated people? Is quotes discouraged on this forum, or is only quotes directly pertaining to multiplicity alone allowed, and not quotes that may be indirectly related? Should I have stated my intentions concerning posting the quote in this community so as to have cleared up confusion before it began? Cata keeps claiming that we were being attacked somehow, but I find no firm, logical evidence of her assumption, and so would really like to get to the heart of the matter.
2) Though I have posted previously, albeit a while go, on the innerworkings of our system, it seems recent events and abilities within may have changed the appropriate identification of our processes-- at least for the purposes of such communities that require correct identification. We have always thought of ourselves as multiple/plural for two years, but the ability that's arisen where we integrate at will, and usually safely, to combine consciousness and skills, and then separate, may put us in the "median" category. I'd really like some feedback on the particular division with multiple and median.
3) My significant other, also a multiple, is stressed and alarmed that two of the entities within their system has walked out on them (let's call them the Elf-Star). A shaman-type woman claims that one of the entities that was once in the Elf-Star, which they just referred to as Phoenix, is now in her. Is that possible, that entities can walk out of one body and right into another?
Thanks for your patience.
-Stel of Hexpiritus
1) I am confused as to the level of strong responses to my previous post containing the Hofstadter quote. Though I was expecting a lively discussion, there seemed to be a level of hostility or annoyance that I was not prepared for-- I may be mistaken, of course. In any case, was it the quote itself that aggravated people? Is quotes discouraged on this forum, or is only quotes directly pertaining to multiplicity alone allowed, and not quotes that may be indirectly related? Should I have stated my intentions concerning posting the quote in this community so as to have cleared up confusion before it began? Cata keeps claiming that we were being attacked somehow, but I find no firm, logical evidence of her assumption, and so would really like to get to the heart of the matter.
2) Though I have posted previously, albeit a while go, on the innerworkings of our system, it seems recent events and abilities within may have changed the appropriate identification of our processes-- at least for the purposes of such communities that require correct identification. We have always thought of ourselves as multiple/plural for two years, but the ability that's arisen where we integrate at will, and usually safely, to combine consciousness and skills, and then separate, may put us in the "median" category. I'd really like some feedback on the particular division with multiple and median.
3) My significant other, also a multiple, is stressed and alarmed that two of the entities within their system has walked out on them (let's call them the Elf-Star). A shaman-type woman claims that one of the entities that was once in the Elf-Star, which they just referred to as Phoenix, is now in her. Is that possible, that entities can walk out of one body and right into another?
Thanks for your patience.
-Stel of Hexpiritus
(no subject)
Aug. 19th, 2005 11:49 amterrenepixy.livejournal.comso i kinda felt like i should update and post something here. i/we have been kind of lurking, and jack is getting on my case about it.
since my last update, my system and i have been cooperating better.
so i just have a few questions.
i kind of was wondering when people noticed the development of specific personalities, and how often some personalities wander in and out if at all... and i was wondering if anyone could tell me why i feel like there's others that won't talk to me, and how i could get them to do so.
currently my specifics are these :
me, the one typing : noelle. this is my body- i/we started out as noelle. 15, female, type II bipolar, stress ball.
skit : also female. more around 18. i call her my alter ego, because i feel like she formed when i was given the nickname skittles (skit for short) a few years ago. eccentric, hyper, kandy kid type.
jack : male, obviously. empathic? rarely comes out unless i/we're alone. id say he's around 11-13, maybe an age slider. has trouble dealing with people on a large scale - developed in middle school. he was my coping skill. after i left the school where i was having problems he stopped fronting.
aleria : female, 15. she's my darkness- she's a bitch. she likes causing pain. she came out at the beginning of last year and kinda stayed there. she would force me to cycle through which was difficult.
as to the others: they're there. i don't know their names, or their specifics. how can i get them to talk to me?
since my last update, my system and i have been cooperating better.
so i just have a few questions.
i kind of was wondering when people noticed the development of specific personalities, and how often some personalities wander in and out if at all... and i was wondering if anyone could tell me why i feel like there's others that won't talk to me, and how i could get them to do so.
currently my specifics are these :
me, the one typing : noelle. this is my body- i/we started out as noelle. 15, female, type II bipolar, stress ball.
skit : also female. more around 18. i call her my alter ego, because i feel like she formed when i was given the nickname skittles (skit for short) a few years ago. eccentric, hyper, kandy kid type.
jack : male, obviously. empathic? rarely comes out unless i/we're alone. id say he's around 11-13, maybe an age slider. has trouble dealing with people on a large scale - developed in middle school. he was my coping skill. after i left the school where i was having problems he stopped fronting.
aleria : female, 15. she's my darkness- she's a bitch. she likes causing pain. she came out at the beginning of last year and kinda stayed there. she would force me to cycle through which was difficult.
as to the others: they're there. i don't know their names, or their specifics. how can i get them to talk to me?
sublimebeing.livejournal.comI'm getting mad because Kyra keeps trying to control me and make me think things that aren't true because then she can get her own way. I have my own space for deep, deep secrets but I have to keep a close eye on that and exhibit a lot of willpower to keep it locked up, she is a very strong part of us and everybody finds it difficult to keep things hidden from her (if they want to that is) because she seems to be able to just enter other people's space and see our thoughts and memories. We can stop her if we concentrate and put up a lot of force..but sometimes she messes with dreams and stuff and just generally behaves in manner which we do not find acceptable.
Has anybody else had problems like this? Or at least found that some people are stronger in your system than others or have more internal control? Can any of the members of your system get inside other's minds and see what they are thinking etc? Or are they very separate?
*Asha*
Has anybody else had problems like this? Or at least found that some people are stronger in your system than others or have more internal control? Can any of the members of your system get inside other's minds and see what they are thinking etc? Or are they very separate?
*Asha*
ex-mushroom784.livejournal.comthank you to everyone who responded to the entry i did over here... i did read everything, i have a habit of just absorbing things, and keeping my thoughts to myself. but i am appreciative.
the one without a name in me seems to just hate the idea of more change. she (used loosely, i don't think of her with any real gender... save for her voice, and attraction to my boyfriend) gets upset with small changes, and it affects me also... so i realize that the stress that i felt then, probably was brought on by her, if only in part.
the boyfriend and i did try a second time for a kiddo (no luck on that, but at least i didn't LOSE one either) but have agreed to not actually try again for a while. since we're a LDR, it's not that big of a problem. :)
as for trying to get permission (or whatever... not sure the right word to use here) from my inners... one (Su) doesn't seem to care either which way, she just doesn't want me sad again. the one without a name won't even talk to me about it. i THINK she'd be more likely to talk about it with my boyfriend though. there's probably an even higher chance she'd talk with an ex of our's (yes, she was with him too) if he got the chance to be the father. ugh. so yeah, this is going to be touchy for a while, but at least i've got some ideas on how to handle things. just a LITTLE bit more than before. :)
as for the chance of it possibly being a health thing in general... i know it is. my doctor told me that it's very rare i'll ever concieve (um, again, obviously), and even less possible that if i DO manage to, that i'll ever go full term. hence the need to figure this out before not too long. :/
thanks for listening to me again. i must seem whiny and stuff, which i didn't intend... sorry if i offended anyone.
the one without a name in me seems to just hate the idea of more change. she (used loosely, i don't think of her with any real gender... save for her voice, and attraction to my boyfriend) gets upset with small changes, and it affects me also... so i realize that the stress that i felt then, probably was brought on by her, if only in part.
the boyfriend and i did try a second time for a kiddo (no luck on that, but at least i didn't LOSE one either) but have agreed to not actually try again for a while. since we're a LDR, it's not that big of a problem. :)
as for trying to get permission (or whatever... not sure the right word to use here) from my inners... one (Su) doesn't seem to care either which way, she just doesn't want me sad again. the one without a name won't even talk to me about it. i THINK she'd be more likely to talk about it with my boyfriend though. there's probably an even higher chance she'd talk with an ex of our's (yes, she was with him too) if he got the chance to be the father. ugh. so yeah, this is going to be touchy for a while, but at least i've got some ideas on how to handle things. just a LITTLE bit more than before. :)
as for the chance of it possibly being a health thing in general... i know it is. my doctor told me that it's very rare i'll ever concieve (um, again, obviously), and even less possible that if i DO manage to, that i'll ever go full term. hence the need to figure this out before not too long. :/
thanks for listening to me again. i must seem whiny and stuff, which i didn't intend... sorry if i offended anyone.
exiled-redeemer.livejournal.comI really need tips on communication and also compromisation. And yeah i know, my spelling sucks. None the less, some tips on how to anchor myself so they (preferabbly Lupa) doesn't front would be greatly appreciated. Or even your experiences on keeping unwanted persons from fronting would be helpful. Thank you.
-Kira
-Sistema di Raziel
ex-mushroom784.livejournal.com((i realized, i never really said who i am! i'm Jen, but much prefer to be known as Ryk. i even had a couple teachers calling me in that in my short stint in college. hah! my boyfriend is Bry, and i tend to talk about him a whole lot. :/ even when he's being a jerk. but since i bring him up alot, may as well mention him too. the two in me who talk the most are Su [though she's more a mediator, for when anyone else in me goes out of bounds, i think], and one who changes her name a lot... i can't remember all of the names, but the one she used most was Angel. as an in joke, cuz she liked to pretend she was my guardian angel, out to save me. right... there's more, but they don't really talk to me/interact with the outside world [that i'm aware of!], so i don't know a whole lot about them))
after reading through some off the comm, i realized how very different i seem to be from everyone else.
for the majority here, everyone is 'us' and 'we'...
for me, it's 'i/me/whatever' and 'them' (there's two very vocal ones... one WAY more than the other... and a couple that i'm not sure what they do... aside from not talk to ~me~)
i'm pretty sure i can't be the ONLY one who feels like just a tool to be used at times (though i'm pretty sure that's not really the case, just a feeling..) but it'd still be nice for some reafirmation. :)
also... has anyone else had someone just show up for a day, and then take off? my boyfriend has told me of two like this... one who didn't talk, but cried a ton, and curled up in a corner of my room... and one that was some guy who was sarcastic, but not in a mean way like the girl who switches her name as she pleases.
i saw the thing about them DYING, but i don't think that's the case here. though i could be wrong. i'm not new to being a multi, just new to the idea of talking to others about it, who can actually UNDERSTAND. ^_^; so i might seem confused in how i talk, or explain things, compared to anyone else. for that i'm sorry.
sidenote : about the dear boyfriend... i'm still not sure what to do with him. however, the girl who changes her name seems to be up to something, and it's kind of worrying me... :/ she can be like an older sister... either trying to protect me, or being a bitch, trying to take things from me ~_~;
after reading through some off the comm, i realized how very different i seem to be from everyone else.
for the majority here, everyone is 'us' and 'we'...
for me, it's 'i/me/whatever' and 'them' (there's two very vocal ones... one WAY more than the other... and a couple that i'm not sure what they do... aside from not talk to ~me~)
i'm pretty sure i can't be the ONLY one who feels like just a tool to be used at times (though i'm pretty sure that's not really the case, just a feeling..) but it'd still be nice for some reafirmation. :)
also... has anyone else had someone just show up for a day, and then take off? my boyfriend has told me of two like this... one who didn't talk, but cried a ton, and curled up in a corner of my room... and one that was some guy who was sarcastic, but not in a mean way like the girl who switches her name as she pleases.
i saw the thing about them DYING, but i don't think that's the case here. though i could be wrong. i'm not new to being a multi, just new to the idea of talking to others about it, who can actually UNDERSTAND. ^_^; so i might seem confused in how i talk, or explain things, compared to anyone else. for that i'm sorry.
sidenote : about the dear boyfriend... i'm still not sure what to do with him. however, the girl who changes her name seems to be up to something, and it's kind of worrying me... :/ she can be like an older sister... either trying to protect me, or being a bitch, trying to take things from me ~_~;
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