Alexander

[fayanora.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, everyone, for letting Alexander have free reign to say whatever the heck he wants to, especially when he pushes me aside when I'm posting as fayanora. He has his good points, but he has the unfortunate tendency to define himself by his anger. We keep telling him not to sully the body with his anger, and it doesn't help. Gods, though... I'm just glad to know I have control over him now if I exercise it. (Before I understood what was going on, I didn't understand where his anger kept coming from.)

From now on, he's confined to his own journal. And I'm going to make him write positive entries now and then, see if we can cure him of his anger problems. He is so much more than his anger*, but he's afraid to let go of that since I guess he sees himself as protector... I hope I can teach him that he'll still be around without his anger. Wish me luck, please. (Though it's not hopeless... I used to think he had no sense of humor at all, but I recently got him to laugh with genuine mirth.)

Blessings;
---Fayanora-Tristan

* For example, he's great to debate with (at least within our system), though it takes a lot of concentration and carefully chosen words for me to diffuse his anger.

Comments

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

hey, I've been getting angry alot lately myself.. maybe me and him can find a good subject to rant about... because yeah... still going postal over here...... YEAH!!!!

[fayanora.livejournal.com]

Well if you want to talk to him, you have to go to alex_antonin now. I had a talk with him and got past his defenses, so he and I have agreed to his banishment to his LJ, as well as to an in-system anger management program led by me. Proving once more that Alex hides "weak" feelings like fear behind his anger. (Which, in turn, proves that he formed in response to (or was shaped by) bullying.)

[fayanora.livejournal.com]

(And a lot of Alex's angry responses online are triggered by a feeling of helpless desperation and hopeless desire to better humankind. Noble, I suppose, but gone about in an incorrect manner.)

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

who knows where my anger is coming from.. I've just been getting angry alot lately and that's not how I usually am..

[fayanora.livejournal.com]

*Shrugs* Some of us get angry, too. Alex doesn't have a monopoly on any emotion. Could be you have every reason to be angry. I don't know.

Blessings;
---Fayanora

[liberated-soul.livejournal.com]

i wish we had someone like you. Ameni is the strongest of us all but he really doesn't care enough to protect us. >< .

[fayanora.livejournal.com]

The context of your comment confuses me, I must admit. Are you saying you want Ameni to protect your from yourself? Or were you speaking to Alexander?

[liberated-soul.livejournal.com]

that was Danu who wrote that, he says he was talking to Alexander, he forgot to sign his name after. ~Danny

[fayanora.livejournal.com]

LOL! Oh man... tell Danu "that's sweet, but Alexander has become more of a problem than a solution." But we love him, so we try to help him be a better person.

Anyway... we've always had more of a tendency to stay inside the mind more than come out. So the reason I don't call Alexander the protector (even though he thinks of himself that way) is because he's so passive-agressive that he rarely gets up the nerve to actually stand up for us. Usually he acts like nothing is wrong and has become a master at hiding our emotions from the outside world. It takes a VERY upsetting situation to break his hold over our expressions. Molly, for example, could be on the brink of tears and you'd never know it looking at the body's face.

Yeah... the last time he actually stood up for us was a couple months ago. And only after the stress of not saying anything to the person responsible for the stress finally made him crack. (Granted, part of that is my fault... I tend to be careful with our words so as to try to put a favorable light on us, holding Alexander back when all he wants to do is start spewing angry obscenities at people.)

Enough of that now.

Blessings;
---Fayanora

[liberated-soul.livejournal.com]

hehe, Danu seems to feel bad about saying that we are not strong.


Ameni is so totally not like Alexander, Ameni will see an oppurtunity to be mean and just spill out, more so because i can't handle being in the situation at the time and lose my control, and then he usually verbally attacks as many people in the room or worse becomes abusive.


I can't control him, Solum can but he is more of the defender...

~Danny, must leave for homework has given it's tol on me... did i spell it right, probably not.

[fayanora.livejournal.com]

must leave for homework has given it's tol on me... did i spell it right, probably not.

toll.

[jadedmosaic.livejournal.com]

I think Alexander and Ishould hook up and put a positive spin ona are anger issues and *work it out* so embarassed but I wouldent mind a little fun Toni is so goig to ban me from chatting now bjut I get pissy but I dont go after peopel I dot know I attach The Mosaics when angryI'm 17 so it gets me grounded which I love cause tehn I canbe alone awy from babysitting when will adults learn kids wanna be left alone Please send me to my room Thnx Elaine & The bratz pac ever my Shadow

[fayanora.livejournal.com]

If you want to talk to him, he's at alex_antonin.