[identity profile] sethrenn.livejournal.com
As of today, there's now a new community, [livejournal.com profile] multi_dispute. We're hoping that it will resolve a lot of the confusion about who to contact if there's a problem on the community, and the problems it's caused in the past.

At this point:

-Membership is moderated, but we'll almost certainly let you in if you're a member of [livejournal.com profile] multiplicity. The only situation under which we would turn down a request for membership is if you've been banned from this community for a specific reason. Only members can view the community posts, though (I think we can agree we'd really all rather not have people staking out the community just because they want to find drama to report on).

-Basically, the purpose of it is so people can have a specific place to request mod intervention, if a problem has arisen or they want to request arbitration for a dispute/ban/etc. We thought it would be easier to have a community to post in, when problems do arise, than for members to have to PM 5 or 6 separate accounts. We check LJ more often than we check our email, which I believe is true for some of the other mods as well, so the quickest way to get a message to us is to have it pop up on our friends list.

-Posts are moderated and require approval before being shown to non-mod community members. The reason for this is because the nature of some people's problems may require them to disclose personal information that they don't want the rest of the community to see, or they may fear harassment from a specific person. Tentatively, we're going to start out making all posts visible unless you specify in your message that you don't want it to be seen by others. (I won't go into detail, but this kind of situation has happened in the past.)

-If you're having a dispute with another person or system, we encourage you to see if you can work it out with them before posting to [livejournal.com profile] multi_dispute; however, we also understand that in cases where harassment, bullying and intimidation are taking place, trying to reason it out with the other party is often not possible. And we definitely don't want anyone to feel as though they can't post on the community because of the behavior of one specific person or system.

We've had some fairly in-depth talks with [livejournal.com profile] ksol1460 over the past day about the need for people to feel that they don't have to "fight their own battles" and be left without allies. I, personally, definitely don't want people to feel as though they're alone, unprotected, and can't ask for help-- we felt silenced for years about a lot of issues because we couldn't get our head around the idea that we had the right to protection from abuse of any kind. And I think most people here would probably agree that this community has a higher-than-average number of abuse survivors-- not because I believe all multiplicity arises from abuse or anything, but because there still is a large crossover between the multiple and survivor communities online, and some people are abused specifically because they're plural-- by family, by peers, by partners or by doctors. And when a community is likely to have a lot of survivors in it, I do think, nowadays, that it's especially important to remind people that they aren't alone, and that it can be done in a way that isn't "whiny" or about "coddling people," or catering to victim complexes, etc.

Okay, on to the second half of this post, which is about trying to lay down new rules about exactly what kind of behavior is considered unacceptable here, and what actions will be taken if someone does these things.

These rules were proposed by Fenners^Kerry, but the rest of us agreed that they sound reasonable, and we would like others' input about them.

Behaviour that can lead to a warning or ban:

Insulting comments and posts ('you asshole', 'you always cause trouble in the community')
Threats
Identifiable passive-aggressive attacks
Snark that appears to have a specific target

Here's what I'm proposing as a disciplinary system:

Three warnings on insulting or offensive posts and comments. After the third warning, a five-day temporary ban/suspension will be placed on the person/system in question.
The second time someone commits a bannable offence, the suspension time will be increased to two weeks. The third temporary suspension will be for a month.
Permanent bans will be issued if the people in question refuse to modify their behaviour even after three temp bans.


There was also some discussion about whether individuals or entire groups should be suspended/banned. I'm currently not sure what my opinion on that is, but [livejournal.com profile] fairly has suggested that if members of a group have individual journals, they should be warned/suspended/banned on an individual basis, unless everyone in the group has been participating in the same bad behavior. On the other hand, if the entire group uses one account, and one person in it has been persistently breaking comm rules, there would be no choice but to suspend/ban the group account.

I do understand that a lot of this stuff-- like what does and doesn't qualify as snark or as a threat-- can be subjective at times, and so I also think people should have an opportunity to defend themselves in the more ambiguous cases. I'm hoping that [livejournal.com profile] multi_dispute can be used for that kind of thing, when there really is genuine disagreement among community members about whether someone was unfairly snarking/insulting/threatening, or someone feels they have a convincing case that they were wrongly warned or suspended.

Anyway, I'd like to know what others think of these suggestions, if they're fair or unfair, and, if someone thinks they could improve on them, what improvements they would make.

~Riel

ETA: I've been reminded by a system mate that [livejournal.com profile] fenners posted a slightly more refined version of the rules I just posted above, in a previous post in this community.

I think I'm about to go over the post length limit, so I'll LJ-cut this. )
[identity profile] myorp.livejournal.com
Seeing as there hasn't been significant activity on here, or a policy post on the main comm for quite a bit now, and even when we had activity on here, it doesn't seem to me that there have been any responses by the mod team, outside of the one post by [livejournal.com profile] sethrenn, and that quickly died, that it would be good to get the discussion of policy rolling again.

So here are some questions for the moderators to hopefully encourage just that:

1) Where do the new rules stand? Are they being modified for clarity? The confusion about the wording as discussed here would seem to warrant at least some basic rewrites.

2) Once they are finalized, where will the new rules be posted? I'm guessing a post on Multiplicity with a permanent link on the userinfo about it being the disciplinary policy?

3) Now that everything has died down on the comm, and new rules are presumably in the process of being implemented, have the temporary suspensions been removed? At this point, we are wondering if some of the more active members might have been among the temporary suspendees. Have any of those members been allowed to join in the discussion here on multipolicy? It seems like that would be a good thing at this point, as they have been directly affected and their viewpoint on the process would be invaluable.


I think of all of these, the most important to address is where the mods are in the process of getting the proposed changes modified, and when will those be submitted to this comm for discussion?

~Kent for Puzzles.
[identity profile] ksol1460.livejournal.com
If you ask me, Myorp are right. I will not make excuses for any of the admins, but there has been serious lack of communication between our groups, which has resulted in a lot of things neglected that should have been attended to promptly.

This community is for people who want to discuss being multiple. You can talk about how you are multiple, learn from others how they are multiple similarly or differently from you, get advice or examples that might benefit your system. All without worrying about whether you are doing it "right" or having to live up to anyone else's standards. We're here to discuss being multiple, not to get into endless and useless arguments.

The bullying has to stop, the snarking has to stop, and the dropping of little innocent-seeming phrases that are really meant to put others on the defensive and cause lengthy and fruitless argument. All of that, out.

If you can't discuss multiplicity -- be it natural multiplicity, otherkin, soulbonding/fictives, MPD/DID, whatever -- in a courteous, civilized manner, you will be banned. God knows I don't like to be a hard ass about this stuff, but this has gone far enough.

I'm getting complaints from people who simply don't feel they can write about their experiences in this community. My guess is that there are plenty of others who have left quietly because they don't feel they belong in the community as it is now.

I am meeting with both the Fenners and Amorpha this evening to discuss exactly who, what and how.
[identity profile] matrexsvigil.livejournal.com
I know most people in this community are not fond of doctors and the like, but I believe I'm in need of one. I'm poor and cannot afford to just skip into the hospital and demand treatment.

I'm in the Cleveland, Ohio area, and I'm having trouble finding free or cheap mental health care. My googlefu is weak. If anyone can help me find information about this, please e-mail me at worldofro@yahoo.com. Thanks!

(If this is off-topic or against the rules, mods, feel free to please delete it)

-P.C.

--"Off the Pink."--
[identity profile] bound-innle.livejournal.com
Heh heh heh. I'm Jane, the "original" here. At least, I'd like to think I am. My memories with this body go back about fourteen years (AKA three years old and trauma involving a car accident on my father's part), so I assume I was the first occupant.

And I'm Lyserg Diethel, yes, that Lyserg Diethel. I'd thought I'd had enough of spooky woowoo mysticcrap, and then last winter I heard a cry for help, answered it, and... well, I'm here now. Let's not question it.

Hi Dad, if you're reading this. Um. That wasn't directed towards Mana, if there's a him here I'll be frankly kinda scared. My name's Allen Walker, pleased to meet you!

We're not quite sure what to call how we work, and so have joined here in hopes of meeting more people and finding out more about this sort of thing. And, ah, if an intro like this is frowned upon, we can delete it! [Edit: That to the immediate left? Was written out of mortal fear that a mod would show up and be all "RAAAAGH YOU BROKE A RULE" at her. We en't deleting anything, don't worry.]
[identity profile] sethrenn.livejournal.com
Just a note re that:

The maintainers cannot prevent this community from being syndicated. And since no one seems to be reading it at GJ, it doesn't seem to matter right now. However, if you're worried about your posts showing up elsewhere, friendslock them to the community.


-Lilac
[identity profile] squnq.livejournal.com
I'm also still here as an assistant mod and can also help if something is drastically amiss, contact info in profile as well. I merely don't post much as I haven't much to add to many discussions, often.

Temp Mod

Feb. 26th, 2006 10:23 am
[identity profile] firewheelvortex.livejournal.com
I'm covering for your regular moderators who are unavoidably absent from this forum - or at least, ought to be. :P

Therefore, if it can wait, it probably should wait. For urgent matters, you may contact me via a variety of methods on my profile page.
[identity profile] sethrenn.livejournal.com
[livejournal.com profile] firewheelvortex has been made an assistant mod, to help us and [livejournal.com profile] ksol1460 keep the place neat and clean. ;)


-Lilac
[identity profile] sethrenn.livejournal.com
Minor change to the community user info page: the rule about not deleting your own posts when others have commented upon them also applies to deleting others' comments to your own posts. Again, if someone is not flaming or trolling, it is rude to delete the posts they have put time and effort into composing. If you believe you have received a reply which constitutes flaming, trolling, or other forms of harassment, notify the mods and we will deal with it.
[identity profile] pengke.livejournal.com
It is very rude to delete something that someone else wrote. When you delete a post, you are not just taking away your own writings; you are destroying the comments that other people took the time and effort to write. You are also depriving the rest of the community the opportunity to read those other people's contributions. If people continually delete posts, members of the community are going to stop commenting because it will be a waste of their time.

If you do not want your post to be available anymore, edit it and remove your writing. Leave everyone else's comments alone. (Although to be polite, it would probably be a good idea to leave a small summary of what the post was about.) If you do not want to read the comments anymore, you can ask the community to end the discussion or start another thread. You can also simply stop reading the comments.

If you want everyone to agree with you or if you can't handle criticism, maybe you shouldn't post in the first place. Some people are very fragile and can't handle less than glowing responses. I'm not going to sugar-coat things for them though and I don't deserve to have my words deleted because someone got upset. If you have to put your opinion out there but you don't want people to judge it, either disallow comments to the post or ask people not to comment.

In conclusion, deleting posts = bad. Stop doing it.
[identity profile] jadedmosaic.livejournal.com
Hi Its me Toni and Shelby and Jade and Elaine here,

We have a question. We thought if we were writing in our own personal journals we could write as much as we wanted and use whatever fonts and not worry about Lj cuts. Now I am confused if something from our personal journal we just wrote made a problem for the commuity, I am sorry but I thought it was kinda personal so went into Outlook and got creative with the text and copied it into the journal. I didnet know we had to do Lj cuts in our personal journal! Do we? Or should we lock private when we want to write like about are day and have allot to say?Thanks the mosaics

hi:0

Nov. 29th, 2005 06:58 pm
[identity profile] mercydelerium.livejournal.com
i just joined, and i wanted to say hi.
i am a psych student, but im not here to analyze anyone, or talk therapy or anything like that.
my mother had an alter at one point
and the main reason i joined is because i was very interested in the support network created and what kind of support is given.
thank you in advance:)
del
[identity profile] spookshow-girl.livejournal.com
It seems some people are concerned that others on this community might be a "bad influence" on the new members of this community. As an all-around bad influence, and the sort of person that parents don't want their kids meeting, I call bullshit. I've never influenced someone who didn't want to be influenced in the first place.

If someone chooses to define their existence by the postings of someone else, on the internet, they've already got a problem that is not solved by "protecting them from the crazies". If everyone here jumped off the brooklyn bridge, would they do it too?

It really doesn't matter which multiplicity philosophy they grab. If all they do is grab the first thing they see, they're already in for a world of trouble. Don't blame someone else for their inability to think for themselves.

To those who are looking for answers:

All anyone can give, while on the internet, is minimally informed opinions and advice. They don't live your life. They don't have the answers. They, bluntly, don't know you from a fucking hole in the wall. Figure it out for yourself. Sure, you can ask other people for input, but the final assessment should be yours. If you are fucking crazy, it's best to be fucking crazy due to your own opinions. Second-hand delusions do noone any good. Who wants to be a cut-rate generic whackjob?

End rant.

--Me
[identity profile] sethrenn.livejournal.com
I wanted to address this question to the entire group, because I've heard a few complaints and remarks over the last few months-- not a huge amount, but enough that I thought I should ask about it.

Be honest: apart from dealing with people who explicitly break the community rules (flamers, trolls, etc), do you feel that I or [livejournal.com profile] ksol1460 censor or discourage particular topics in an unfair way? Do you feel that your own opinions are unwelcome here, or that the discussion environment is repressive? Do you have any thoughts on how you feel certain things should be handled?

I try to make a distinction between disagreement with people's opinions and disagreement with the way in which they are stated/phrased. I more often have a problem with the latter than the former, but I want to make more clear what my problem is with, if I'm not doing a good job of that. I also make a distinction between multiplicity-related issues and trauma or general mental health issues, and would prefer if posts strictly concerning the latter be kept to forums where these are the main topics. However, if someone has a problem which involves multiplicity in some way, I don't want to discourage them or make them feel unwelcome posting here.

Oh, dear.

Nov. 10th, 2005 12:04 am
[identity profile] secondcabal.livejournal.com
What in the world...?

*rubs back of neck* Uh, thanks for telling us to check out the archives, [livejournal.com profile] ksol1460. ;-)

If any of y'all actually remember the last time we were here, as [livejournal.com profile] caribbeanblue, please don't hold it against us that we've completely switched journals. A lot has happened in the last year or so; main frontrunners checked out, and now it's more of an equally-run system between Cat, Kali, me, and sometimes Gytha, the Duchess. Privacy issues in October forced Cat over to her new place and us more onto this journal.

We don't remember much from this year, not before July. Our birthday was in March, and we can't even remember that. Please believe me when I say we're not out to hurt anyone. We're just trying to pick up the pieces and make sense of the world again.

Cally, totally embarrassed
[identity profile] weare.livejournal.com
I hoe i's OK to post this here. A recent post on here brought up a good point. There aren't any communities for parents who are multiple. So, I decided to finally create one. [livejournal.com profile] didparents Let me know what you think. :)

EDIT: Very good points...I changed it. So, now it's [livejournal.com profile] plural_parents. Sorry for any inconvenience and/or offense.
[identity profile] sethrenn.livejournal.com
Because we've received a few inquiries about it, I wanted to address the issue of psychology students on the community. We basically have an open-door policy that allows therapists and psych majors, multiple and non, to join and post here. As long as they don't troll, flame, or spend excessive amounts of time attempting to cure, convert, or save us, they're as welcome as anyone else.

Now, generally speaking: students are probably going to come in with a very specific view of what multiplicity is, since that's what they've been taught in their classes. Most of us aren't overwhelmingly sympathetic to that particular view and don't find it to reflect our own lives. Taking offense to being called a disorder is certainly understandable. I will never claim I don't sympathise with that. We definitely did our share of blowing up about it when we first started out. Try to keep in mind, though, the fact that not everyone who says 'MPD' or 'DID' means to offend you in doing so. A lot of the time, it's just because they don't know there's anything else. There just isn't enough publicity for most people to be aware of models besides the disorder one. We actually used to use terms like MPD and alters, in reference to ourselves, when we first started researching multiplicity-- we didn't know there were others. If you pre-emptively jump down someone's throat for not knowing about healthy multiples, you run the risk of turning them off to the point where you may miss an opportunity to educate someone.

People usually are much more amenable to learning if they're simply guided to an informational source presenting an alternate viewpoint, rather than yelled at for being ignorant. I noticed that none of the posts in the most recent thread included any links to webpages discussing healthy multiples-- usually the first thing I think should be done is to post links to good sources.

I'm not angry at anyone, and no rules were actually violated-- I should make that clear. It's not within my rights to tell people how to respond to such posts, as long as they don't outright flame. I just think it's in our best interest to not alienate people unless it's absolutely unavoidable.
[identity profile] sethrenn.livejournal.com
Given the vast number of posts in the lilspeak debate over the past day, I decided I might as well review community policy as it pertains to debates like this one. While our in-system children do have a definite take on it, I'm trying not to show partiality, unless anyone thinks their input would be particularly important.

However, I've seen people threatening to quit or leave the community, saying they feel they or their children aren't safe any more, etc. As regards community policy, and safety, there are a few things I should clear up.

1. The original 'just say no to lilspeak' post and its followups did not violate any community standards, though the 'morons on crack' remark, which was quoted from a post in another community with different rules, was admittedly pushing the envelope. Therefore, controversial or no, it was allowed to stay.

This community is not a safe place, in the traditional sense. What it is is an open place. Like the old DP list, it's a place where one can freely discuss any aspect of multiplicity, within reason and without censorship, and everyone is responsible for their own safety and well-being. "Within reason," in this case, means that the mods, some of whom remember the endless flamewars that DP often turned into, instituted rules against direct attacking and flaming of other posters. You can criticise an idea without criticising the person who came up with it.

If your in-system kids, children, littles, whatever, will get upset if someone disagrees with them or doesn't want them to write in lilspeak, then no, this is not a 'safe place' for them if you're defining it that way. The mods will crack down on people if they flame or openly attack, but not if they disagree. Children are as welcome to post as anyone else, but they don't get special treatment.

2. If you feel that you have been personally flamed/attacked/insulted, let the mods know (email is preferred) and we will review the post in question to see if it violates community standards. We don't always read every comment, and sometimes things get out of hand when we're not looking.
[identity profile] masterdoyle.livejournal.com
First of all, I would like to say that I have been reading this community for over six months now. My SO is a multiple and over the past year and a half I have learned much about all of those within her system and about myself as a singular. I have come to love and cherish each unique person within her system.

This community used to be a place for people to freely discuss and share ideas, thoughts and feelings regarding multiplicity. It used to be a comfortable, relaxing and enjoyable atmosphere. However recently, some people have decided to attack others, make degrogatory comments, and even harrass the children who sometimes post in this community. The Moderator may chose to remain neutral and not say anything, but I for one and sick of this crap.

For those of you saying that littles are not allowed to talk in 'lil-speak'... screw you! All you have managed to do is scare and hurt a huge majority of children into believing that they are doing something wrong!! They aren't doing anything but having fun and enjoying themselves!! Who cares how they write? If you have a problem with it, or don't like it... don't freakin read it!! No one is forcing you to!! You have no right to tell them what to do.

I remember what it was like being 5 and writing out words the way they sound, that's what they do. If the kids within the systems want to write that way, for whatever reason... who the hell are you to tell them otherwise? No one, that's who!!

For those of you saying that normal multiplicity is all a lie and that there is only DID/MPD... again, screw you!! Just because you have been unfortunate enough to either have or know someone that has DID due to a trauma or abuse, doesn't mean that everyone in this community does. Not everyone here has "evil-alters" that hate or like to hurt themselves and others. A great many here were born multiple, have rich loving families within that support and care about them... These families would do anything for each other, and are far more normal and functional than most modern familes in America!! I wish that I could be able to share the bond they have for one another!!

For those of you that hate, or for those of you that simplly have to be mean to each other just because it makes you feel special or important or better than someone else... one final time... SCREW YOU!! You are nobody, you are insignificant. Do you know what your comments mean to people? Nothing... all they mean is that you were a sad, sad little kid and that you have become a bitter resentful adult. I don't hate you, I pity you...

It is about time that this community starts looking out for its members... as friends and as a family. This place has turned from an informative learning community into Drama-Fest 2005!! Take a stand people, do the right thing for one another.

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