Sick of Demeaning Comments..
Jun. 30th, 2005 04:38 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
masterdoyle.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
multiplicity_archivesFirst of all, I would like to say that I have been reading this community for over six months now. My SO is a multiple and over the past year and a half I have learned much about all of those within her system and about myself as a singular. I have come to love and cherish each unique person within her system.
This community used to be a place for people to freely discuss and share ideas, thoughts and feelings regarding multiplicity. It used to be a comfortable, relaxing and enjoyable atmosphere. However recently, some people have decided to attack others, make degrogatory comments, and even harrass the children who sometimes post in this community. The Moderator may chose to remain neutral and not say anything, but I for one and sick of this crap.
For those of you saying that littles are not allowed to talk in 'lil-speak'... screw you! All you have managed to do is scare and hurt a huge majority of children into believing that they are doing something wrong!! They aren't doing anything but having fun and enjoying themselves!! Who cares how they write? If you have a problem with it, or don't like it... don't freakin read it!! No one is forcing you to!! You have no right to tell them what to do.
I remember what it was like being 5 and writing out words the way they sound, that's what they do. If the kids within the systems want to write that way, for whatever reason... who the hell are you to tell them otherwise? No one, that's who!!
For those of you saying that normal multiplicity is all a lie and that there is only DID/MPD... again, screw you!! Just because you have been unfortunate enough to either have or know someone that has DID due to a trauma or abuse, doesn't mean that everyone in this community does. Not everyone here has "evil-alters" that hate or like to hurt themselves and others. A great many here were born multiple, have rich loving families within that support and care about them... These families would do anything for each other, and are far more normal and functional than most modern familes in America!! I wish that I could be able to share the bond they have for one another!!
For those of you that hate, or for those of you that simplly have to be mean to each other just because it makes you feel special or important or better than someone else... one final time... SCREW YOU!! You are nobody, you are insignificant. Do you know what your comments mean to people? Nothing... all they mean is that you were a sad, sad little kid and that you have become a bitter resentful adult. I don't hate you, I pity you...
It is about time that this community starts looking out for its members... as friends and as a family. This place has turned from an informative learning community into Drama-Fest 2005!! Take a stand people, do the right thing for one another.
This community used to be a place for people to freely discuss and share ideas, thoughts and feelings regarding multiplicity. It used to be a comfortable, relaxing and enjoyable atmosphere. However recently, some people have decided to attack others, make degrogatory comments, and even harrass the children who sometimes post in this community. The Moderator may chose to remain neutral and not say anything, but I for one and sick of this crap.
For those of you saying that littles are not allowed to talk in 'lil-speak'... screw you! All you have managed to do is scare and hurt a huge majority of children into believing that they are doing something wrong!! They aren't doing anything but having fun and enjoying themselves!! Who cares how they write? If you have a problem with it, or don't like it... don't freakin read it!! No one is forcing you to!! You have no right to tell them what to do.
I remember what it was like being 5 and writing out words the way they sound, that's what they do. If the kids within the systems want to write that way, for whatever reason... who the hell are you to tell them otherwise? No one, that's who!!
For those of you saying that normal multiplicity is all a lie and that there is only DID/MPD... again, screw you!! Just because you have been unfortunate enough to either have or know someone that has DID due to a trauma or abuse, doesn't mean that everyone in this community does. Not everyone here has "evil-alters" that hate or like to hurt themselves and others. A great many here were born multiple, have rich loving families within that support and care about them... These families would do anything for each other, and are far more normal and functional than most modern familes in America!! I wish that I could be able to share the bond they have for one another!!
For those of you that hate, or for those of you that simplly have to be mean to each other just because it makes you feel special or important or better than someone else... one final time... SCREW YOU!! You are nobody, you are insignificant. Do you know what your comments mean to people? Nothing... all they mean is that you were a sad, sad little kid and that you have become a bitter resentful adult. I don't hate you, I pity you...
It is about time that this community starts looking out for its members... as friends and as a family. This place has turned from an informative learning community into Drama-Fest 2005!! Take a stand people, do the right thing for one another.
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on this social totem pole you're preciously close to the top....
Date: 2005-06-30 02:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 03:00 pm (UTC)*points at above comment*
Date: 2005-06-30 03:01 pm (UTC)Re: *points at above comment*
Date: 2005-06-30 03:03 pm (UTC)Re: *points at above comment*
Date: 2005-06-30 04:05 pm (UTC)Re: *points at above comment*
Date: 2005-06-30 04:55 pm (UTC)Re: *points at above comment*
Date: 2005-06-30 04:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 03:02 pm (UTC)Nothing... you're not even worth a comment.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 03:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 03:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 03:13 pm (UTC)http://www.livejournal.com/community/multiplicity/289721.html?thread=3521721#t3521721 (http://www.livejournal.com/community/multiplicity/289721.html?thread=3521721#t3521721)
... but I have to say that this: "For those of you that hate, or for those of you that simplly have to be mean to each other just because it makes you feel special or important or better than someone else... one final time... SCREW YOU!! You are nobody, you are insignificant. Do you know what your comments mean to people? Nothing... all they mean is that you were a sad, sad little kid and that you have become a bitter resentful adult. I don't hate you, I pity you..."
Is probably the nastiest thing I've seen yet here. Although not specifically directed towards one person. :)
Poor mods, you have my sympathies this week.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 05:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 03:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 04:46 pm (UTC)Nobody said kids couldn't write like kids.
People are entitled to believe that there is only DID/MPD. Maybe they are wrong. And?
Calm the hell down. Ffs. What purpose do you expect this post to have? All it's going to do is rile people up. Some people will get pissed off at you (and rightly so), and others will get all puffed up and righteous.
Calling people names, directing insults etc, is going to help no one. You want other people to grow up? Do it yourself, lead by example.
So,
Date: 2005-06-30 06:56 pm (UTC)People loose their temper. If you can't face that, you also have some growing up to do. I refuse to be a fucking emotional drone because the latest batch of internet addicts can't take a little heat when someone lets off some steam. This goes to all sides of the argument. As have been stated before, emotions run high on this topic. People will lose their cool. That's what controversial topics are all about. Ride it out, and you'll find some incredibly contstructive conversation. Duck and run, and you miss out.
Oddly enough, all of the statements were directed ones. Now, there is some debate as to whether or not some of the actions were engaged in at all. In which case, wouldn't it mean the statements afterwards don't actually apply, despite however much the author of the statement might think they do?
I feel the fact that people are now talking about why they have these problems, is fostering communication in a beneficial fashion, even though some of the initial statements were heated.
--Me
Re: So,
Date: 2005-06-30 07:09 pm (UTC)People can voice their disapproval, but there's a line between showing your opinion, and raving like some crazed loony. People have private journals for raving like a crazed loony (I should know, I do it) Venting in a community and then trying to pass it off as constuctive? Nuh uh. Either admit it's a vent, or take a deep breath and actually *post something constructive*.
As it is, this post just leaves everyone wound up and tense, which sucks considering some of it isn't even true. Yelling "screw you" over and over does not help. It's also funny considering he's calling other people immature. Hah.
Re: So,
Date: 2005-06-30 07:29 pm (UTC)True, however, I'm leaving a little room for error. Since this topic is very sore, I don't presume everyone will have the presense of mind to properly direct it.
My statement was vaguely misdirected, as you aren't one of the parties I've seen who has the problem I described. In fact, you take criticism pretty well. Fuck, sorry about missing the mark like that.
However this is a problem that I've seen online a lot as of late, here not excluded, and I took a random opportunity to bring this up.
Good job. *rolls eyes* Godz I can be a brilliant bitch when I try.
--Me
no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 06:38 pm (UTC)Look, no one said that the kids weren't allowed to write in lilspeak. Yeah, people have said that it's annoying and phony because it defies all laws of language acquisition, but no one said that kids couldn't write that way - just that they should be warned that others might not take them seriously. *shrugs*
And where did anyone say anything about normal multiplicity being a lie? If anyone's said that during this explosion of drama, I've certainly missed it. Rather, this is one of the better communities out there about standing up for natural multiplicity and the difference between being a functional multiple group and DID/MPD. I think the attitude in this community is the opposite of what you're ranting about, "evil-alters" and all that trauma crap.
And seriously, your post here is not the best way to tell people to chill out and end the drama. Like others have already said, if you want it to stop, don't come around screaming at people and stirring up more bullshit.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 10:22 pm (UTC)"just that they should be warned that others might not take them seriously."
just my two pence, but how is not being believed or outright disregarded going to help any of the kids that used to post here.. I know we're not real vocal, but jeez..
As long as kids are communicating, in whatever way they can.. what the freak difference should it matter what form it takes.. whether its lilspeak, esperanto, drawing, coloring.. singing, signing ANYTHING... as long as they communicate.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 10:31 pm (UTC)Do what floats your boat, but don't bitch when I don't speak your language, miedach.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-01 01:48 am (UTC)*a little confused*
Date: 2005-07-03 03:29 am (UTC)Re: *a little confused*
Date: 2005-07-03 04:42 am (UTC)Its internet version developed in the mid-90s, mostly on Usenet and Divided Hearts. It's hard to describe the degree of vigilance that went on in those environments -- the open nature of these communities meant it was possible, even likely, for sexual predators and even one's own abusers to lurk and read (Hell, that's possible on this community, even if you lock your posts -- you don't know who's signed up). Lilspeak was considered a guarantee of authenticity -- anyone who used it was really a child in a multiple system, and any child in a multiple system who didn't use it was under suspicion.
Some people feel, and have always felt, that lilspeak was just the opposite -- it sounded like someone trying way too hard to be a kid. Therein lies the controversy.
Re: *a little confused*
Date: 2005-07-03 11:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-03 03:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 06:46 pm (UTC)The way this community was founded, it was meant to be a place to discuss multiplicity -- nothing more or less. Based on the principles of the old Dark Personalities list, it was whatever its members chose for it to be at the moment. It is not a support board, it is not a safe place, it is not a family or even a group of friends -- although at any time, depending on who's posting, it may be all of those things temporarily.
Because of its rather formless nature, the community has also at one time or another played host to predators, idiots who were going to save us all, snipers, snarkers, annoying people, the occasional tinfoil hat convention, and trolls who went down in their own flames. It is also a hangout for thoughtful, intelligent, reasonable and compassionate people of every variety, with interesting insights and takes on multiplicity, their own and in general.
Dramafests have taken place throughout the five-year history of the community and probably always will.
This community is what you make it. If you wish to make it a more pleasant place, by all means do so.
Bluejay Young
Anthony Temple
no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 07:15 pm (UTC)In part, it's the random outbursts which are often identified as drama, by many, which actually opens up lines of communication. Hell, I do believe I came into the community swinging. *grin* I wouldn't say my bark was worse than my bite, but I am not as interested in biting as I might have seemed.
It's a wierd balance to be achieved, and sometimes it seems like people think the only way a community can be healthy is if there are no arguments, or criticism. If handled properly, the above can prove a vital part in maintaining community health. Improperly, or to excessive degrees, and it is can be a very destructive community environment. This is unfortunately, the balance the moderator is often given the task of achieving, but, as you stated, creating the community is also the responsibility of the community members.
My world was recently rocked by a speech I heard last week, and all of this going on is making me think about it. If at some point, I seem contradictory, it's exactly because I think the concept of a healthy community involves paradox, and balances of opposite ideals.
--Me
no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 06:51 pm (UTC)You're using your, in my opinion, privilege as a non-multiple to come in and tell multiples how to talk and behave. This is privilege we don't need. It's like white folk marching into a black student union to tell the black folk how to stop being wrong to one another. It has no place. If you want to respectfully sit and listen and occassionally offer support - fine.
But spewing hate from a privileged position atop all of us multies is uncalled for and unappreciated. My system wants to eat you, so how about you explain nice and neatly why you think you have a right to march in on a singular horse and tell this entire community off.
Thank you.
Actually, from a Puerto Rican perspective
Date: 2005-06-30 07:03 pm (UTC)There is a difference between the above, and coming in on a high horse and telling people how to run things. I acknowledge that aspect of your statement.
I also didn't understand the privilege check statement. Thank you for clarifying.
--Me
Re: Actually, from a Puerto Rican perspective
Date: 2005-06-30 07:09 pm (UTC)However, when one group that has privilege over another - racially, ethnically, sexuality-wise, ability-wise, class-wise, etc. feel the need to police and patrol a marginalized group just because they feel they are allies, that's privilege talking.
Contextually is one thing, but this is a group - and from the responses above it seems that folks don't agree with the privilege this person took in posting their opinion of how this community treats one another.
"privilege checking" is oen of those terms I don't see used in non-feminist communities and spaces so I figured I should clarify.
Re: Actually, from a Puerto Rican perspective
Date: 2005-06-30 08:10 pm (UTC)Agreed, although I tend to attribute it to something else. Some people need something to get righteously indignant and riled up over. I tend to call it Knight in Shining Armor Syndrome. They prey on minorities because the mistreatment of those minorities provide their opportunity. Of course, if their pet huddled masses cease to behave like such, it screws up the whole system.
Hopefully, what's going on here, is someone just losing their shit, rather than the above.
--Me
no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 09:08 pm (UTC)Good lord, what presumption.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 09:31 pm (UTC)"First of all, I would like to say that I have been reading this community for over six months now. My SO is a multiple and over the past year and a half I have learned much about all of those within her system and about myself as a singular. I have come to love and cherish each unique person within her system."
Which is why I posted "privilege check".....yeap.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 09:33 pm (UTC)Definitely agreeing with you on the privledge check, there.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 08:17 pm (UTC)It doesn't seem as though you've been reading any of the comments to these entries. It's not children writing phonetically that people have a problem with, or sentences that don't have much grammatical structure because they're kids, and as such haven't learned how to write like an adult.
What people have a problem with is kids who type with all the naturally fluidity of an adult, all the skill, all the grammar... with the inability to speak English. And it's not that the kids are writing things phonetically, as a kid would, or with a few spelling errors.
It's that these kids are misspelling every single word they write (which is uncommon for children). It's that they're not making common spelling mistakes, or phonetic spellings, it's that they make up spellings that are unlike that of any child. And they don't naturally spell that way, they make up those spellings, to seem more like a child.
Read the comments before you start shouting, "Screw you!"
no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 10:23 pm (UTC)Story of my life,.
LOL,.
I think this needs a wider Forum to be discussed,.
~M~
no subject
Date: 2005-07-01 02:17 am (UTC)Perhaps the mod is merely allowing everyone the opporunity to speak.
If you have a problem with it, or don't like it... don't freakin read it!! No one is forcing you to!! You have no right to tell them what to do.
Do the same standards not apply to you?
Do you know what your comments mean to people? Nothing... all they mean is that you were a sad, sad little kid and that you have become a bitter resentful adult. I don't hate you, I pity you...
You are being pretentious in your assumption that your opinion means any more to us than anyone else's.
-g.
Nice.
Date: 2005-07-05 06:59 pm (UTC)Did that ever cross your mind? Fuck them for trying, huh? That sort of snitty guilt trip song and dance will really convince people you're worth the trouble. Good job.
--Me
no subject
Date: 2005-07-03 03:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-03 04:12 am (UTC)Also, childhood trauma origin does not automatically equal MPD or DID. or "evil" people. we get tired of people assuming the "evil" stuff too. :b
Andy points out that MPD and DID are psychiatric diagnoses -- they are not descriptions of a state of being. By the book you may have DID, but your personal state of being may not be.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-03 11:18 pm (UTC)I understand childhood trauma doesn't autmatically eqaute DID/MPD but in my case it did and unlike the original post presumed, I'm perfectly fundtional. ()