Deleting Posts

[pengke.livejournal.com]

It is very rude to delete something that someone else wrote. When you delete a post, you are not just taking away your own writings; you are destroying the comments that other people took the time and effort to write. You are also depriving the rest of the community the opportunity to read those other people's contributions. If people continually delete posts, members of the community are going to stop commenting because it will be a waste of their time.

If you do not want your post to be available anymore, edit it and remove your writing. Leave everyone else's comments alone. (Although to be polite, it would probably be a good idea to leave a small summary of what the post was about.) If you do not want to read the comments anymore, you can ask the community to end the discussion or start another thread. You can also simply stop reading the comments.

If you want everyone to agree with you or if you can't handle criticism, maybe you shouldn't post in the first place. Some people are very fragile and can't handle less than glowing responses. I'm not going to sugar-coat things for them though and I don't deserve to have my words deleted because someone got upset. If you have to put your opinion out there but you don't want people to judge it, either disallow comments to the post or ask people not to comment.

In conclusion, deleting posts = bad. Stop doing it.

Comments

[fadingtogrey.livejournal.com]

I agree, very much.

I was also wondering where that one post went. I thought it was a very good thread of comments, too--did it turn ugly while I wasn't watching? I was going to link it to some friends to give them an idea of what the multiple community was like. Did I miss something, or was it deleted completely out of the blue? :/

[pengke.livejournal.com]

They were offended that I pointed out that many of their questions were poorly worded, biased, or unclear. I do not know if that was related to the deletion of the post. It was only the most recent of the posts that have been deleted in the past month or so.

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

holy cow! was that ass jockey post deleted? o.O there was a ton of posts in there.. what happened?

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

maybe there should be a rule in the info page that says if anyone deletes their post, they're banned from the community?

[stealthdragon.livejournal.com]

Is there a way for moderators to disable deletion of posts?

[vinik.livejournal.com]

Just read the other responses (because I had no idea what post this was referring to), but holy shit! Thinking that giving well thought and written out answers would be helpful for this person to do their study, we did in fact take a good chunk of time out of our day to complete their questions. We do agree with others that the questionnaire itself needed to be improved in order for it to be balanced (we used to do surveys so we know a little bit about objectivity in research).

Argh!

-David

[dinogrrl.livejournal.com]

Man o_O. I had a second comment the was explaining more of my reply, at the op's own request, and I went ot post it and the whole thing was gone. Well, gee. I was trying to be helpful >>.

[eosphorus.livejournal.com]

hmph. what a waste of everyone's time that was. all that effort...

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

I had a feeling she might do that. The tone of her comment to Jenny (Iris) that we got in the mail this morning sounded like she was kind of heading off the deep end, and I think she felt she gave away too much and got scared.

The way I saw it, she was not really doing a study. Oh, I mean she was, but it was not really about that. She's going to have a baby, and she's scared to death the kid's going to be multiple. She told some long story about her brother who she said was hosting an unpleasant sort of an Ancient Celtic person and who told her all his memories of the Dark Ages & spoke "very authentic Ancient Gaelic" (How did she recognize or know it? was going to be my ???). And wrote words in it on the wall and ate raw meat. She was afraid to leave the kid alone w/ him and I wouldn't leave anybody alone with somebody that acted the way she described. I think that she was trying to find out if all multiples were like him & her mother.

And then she realizes she's talking to a whole community full of the very people she's had no reason to trust all her life and who she instinctively fears and maybe even hates. Instead of deleting just her comment with that in it she wiped the whole thing.

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

o.O

wow

[jadedmosaic.livejournal.com]

oh Ok, Gabe on behalf of the Bratz Pac curiosity how does one wipe out all the other peoples comments Not that I am or any of us are going to ever hopefully cross are hearts and so forth and pinky swear do that but I did not think that was a possibility.

I didnet even think the *mods* could delete posts cause I remember when we had to keep going back and editing and you could not for us and then we finally deleted when you thought we should that outragious colorful rich text one that got on peoples friends page but all those miserable comments we had to well just live with so The Bratz Pac is curious what are we missing how did she delete the whole thing cause another thing we a were thinking she could of just deleted what she gave away and then it would of seemed like we answered all just answering are own set of questions on a survey and nobody would know she was involved so I guess I dont get the point of why she delteted the whole thing unless it was accident cause that was good stuff.

We were going to read the thread when we got homeWell , 3 more days Neil will, be LIVE FROM NEW YORK ITS SATERDAY NIGHT YEAH WE hope he says it. The adults have been wigging out all frekin day makin us younger folks knda crazy so were out on a stroll finally around the global block Stay Cool Elaine & The Bratz Pac

Hmm...

[assjockey.livejournal.com]

Good analysis indeed, but the last thing I'm afraid of is my child being a multiple.
I do not see this as a genetic disorder (or order, whatever you may...), and I am not in the least bit concerned about that. I have had thorough psychiatric exams and nothing has turned up...yet. My hubby is from a mentally stable family, so I have nothing to worry about, especially since he's my rock.

I really was doing a study, and in fact, I copied the whole thread and saved it to my flashdisk so that I can use it for future reference. If it is liked by the community, I can even post the paper when I'm finished...for your satisfaction and Mr. Pengke's.

As another point, I know for a fact that no other multiple is like another. For instance, my insane mother and my brother who finally sought out much needed psychiatric help. I was trying to relate to all of you with a personal experience, and that was taken by a few peoples like you and warped, twisted, and sadly, mocked. And who wouldn't be afraid to have a child around that (P.S. Gaelic may be a dead language, but it can still be researched and I happen to know a little bit. Plus, roots of words are easily recognizable, like Latin).

And suddenly I instinctively fear and hate all of you. Presumptions are great when you can read minds. If I were afraid of you, I probably would have posted everything as anonymous, took my location off my bio page, and wouldn't have even done this whole thing in the first place.

A well-gestured act turned into an "offense circus," I daresay.

I thought your comments were very helpful, btw. Thanks.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

She didn't like what Iris said, either, even though Iris always tries to be very diplomatic.

None of us had planned to answer the survey, because we didn't feel like struggling with trying to fit her paradigm into words that we could sufficiently and briefly explain our experience. But we appreciated seeing what everybody else was saying.

The only thing I can do is ban her and make it policy that deleters get banned. I will do this, and I would please like to have your permission to either reprint or link what you have written here about it on the community info page because I am really, really sick of this.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

"The only thing I can do is ban her and make it policy that deleters get banned."

Kír and I vote 'yes' on that.

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

the 3 images in the community's profile page aren't loading for me.. just wanted to point it out.. ^_^

[nematoddity.livejournal.com]

Not that my vote matters at this late date, but unless one has a good defendable reason...like, say, one decided, for whatever one's crackhead reasons would be, to post an "I'm a multiple in Kansas City! Call me at (xxx) xxx-xxxx, okay?" type of post, and then actually grew back the braincells that would realize this was a bad idea...well, other than that unlikely happening, there's no good reason to delete a post.

Especially not any post with replies.

Or I would have deleted my Sims repost (http://www.livejournal.com/users/nematoddity/133711.html) entry by now. For example. :)

[assjockey.livejournal.com]

What would have helped (you and me) is if you reworded each question and answered it to your liking, if you felt that none of these applied to or fit you. I understand that though they were general questions, they may not fit even one person in the community. What I was hoping is that someone would get the general idea of the question, take it, and run with it.

Iris's post, by the way, was very helpful. If I came across as rude when she posted it, I apologize to you and her and anyone who read it. The majority of the posts helped a lot (even the ones of the analysis of my journal name).

[luwana.livejournal.com]

Chloe posted a bloody well thought out reply to that.

Why the hell did it get deleted? I thought it was good if a little misinformed.

[jadedmosaic.livejournal.com]

Man, We had work and proceedings today and I felt guilted into answering cause it sparked "the birthlings" interest, the questions she felt should be answered cause they could help someone and we were running late.

I got the feel she saw herself as quite the major victim (poor baby had to sit in her bedroom with the lights out and wait for her Daddy to come feed her, well at least her Daddy came home to feed her and not to rape her with his friends at least she had one haelthy Parent to wait on and she seemed self centered like even though her Mom was trauma based she was not going to speak to her ever again (spoiled brat) Life is too short for that bull. The Mom could not have helped what she was born into.

My red flags were up on this one but the Majority won and we answered her questions and finally thought out and it was hard cause we did not have room to explain anything without space and the way the questions were worded it was hard to answer just yes /No/ and why?

But Flags went up when she asked How Chidren were effected ? I knew it was more her own stuff but Maria Tiea "the birthling" was finally particioating in LJ. WE thought she was a member of this comminity we just had not met yet. Its going to take allot to get "the birthling" to post again. She thought she ws helping another to understand her raelity.

I would of liked to have a copy of the answers because "the birthling" Maria Tiea answered those questions and thats like only her second time posting or maybe first time alone and we got to see how she REALLY feels about being a multiple and US and how it came to be. I almost hit print for our new T for today and was going to use it as a refernce to let him know what "the birhling thinks"Cause She NEVER tells us but the whole INTERNET she shared with man that just sucks
Jade& Mosaics What a freakin waste.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Well you know yourself from your work that not all situations are the same, and many abused children have someone they can count on or who is kind to them in some way. Also, you know about how most abusive parents were abused themselves in some way. This is what we thought she was actually worried about -- that she'd hurt her own child. No red flags for us there, after what we've seen (very probably similar to some of the things you've seen in your work). She's got her own fucked-up issues, comes from a very fucked-up background, and she's concerned and doesn't know how to express it and is sensibly afraid to seek help from the psychiatric establishment.

None of us saw her as playing the victim but as expressing genuine concerns that she was masking with this "I'm doing a report" thing. Gabe says she probably really was doing one, but it was clear it was all personally motivated.

Iris actually cut a paragraph from her initial response, in which she said it was very clear that the woman's real concern was passing on to her own child the abuse patterns from her mother. She also told her that her mother may not have been multiple -- this woman is under 20, and overdiagnosis of MPD was rampant in the 80s when she was a child. I kind of wish she'd left that in, but she was hoping the woman would provide a personal email address so that we could write to her privately.

[assjockey.livejournal.com]

I got the feel she saw herself as quite the major victim (poor baby had to sit in her bedroom with the lights out and wait for her Daddy to come feed her, well at least her Daddy came home to feed her and not to rape her with his friends at least she had one haelthy Parent to wait on and she seemed self centered like even though her Mom was trauma based she was not going to speak to her ever again (spoiled brat) Life is too short for that bull. The Mom could not have helped what she was born into.

You're an awful person.
My father never did much for me anyway, still doesn't; he just didn't want to see another child die.
I could care less about my family at this point.

Woe is me. Her decision was to never make contact with me again. I decided that if she grew a pair and decided to one day, I would make no effort to appease her and actually speak to her.

Thank you to the ever-prejudicing community of self-assured "multiples" who's lives will always be more horrendous than a singleton's.

That comment was directed towards you.

[iamshadow.livejournal.com]

All of the thread that I read last night appears to be saved in the history cache of my browser...I may have missed the most recent posts, but I can probably find and copy the whole thread or just individual systems answers if anyone's interested in saving what they wrote.

[fadingtogrey.livejournal.com]

Yes, please. If it's not too daunting a task, I would at least like to have a copy of what everyone said, if possible.

Hmm...

[assjockey.livejournal.com]

Speaking of rude and deleting posts, usually when someone is called an idiot and told not to further their life, they usually will become offended.
So, in my offense and complete loss of words, I felt it necessary to end anyway you can further insult or harass me. Obviously I was wrong--about that idea and your maturity level, because you just started a new thread about it anyway.

I thank everyone else who didn't want to pick a random fight; your information was very useful and I am crediting this whole community in the bibliography. Who knows? It might get published...
Once again, thank you for your time.
Amanda

Re: Hmm...

[pengke.livejournal.com]

We did not tell you not to further your life. If I remember correctly, we said not to go into research or graduate studies (which also require research). You wrote bad questions and got offended when we pointed that out. You can't do that in real research; not the bad questions and certainly not that attitude towards constructive criticism.

Further this post was not about you. If it had been, you would have been mentioned in it. As stated in another comment, several people have been deleting their posts lately and it's damn annoying. You were just the most recent. We had nothing to do with where people took their comments.