[identity profile] hiddenhikari.livejournal.com
So, this is Kayla, the host, speaking right now. I just got out of my third hospitalization where a doctor told me that I 'don't follow specific characteristics of people with multiple personalities or with dissociative identity' and said that because I can communicate with my other personalities it means that its all just my imagination and that I made it up a long time ago and have pretending for so long that it's become real. He also said that because I've never been abused that there's pretty much no way I'm MPD/DID. He basically forced me to tell him that they were all just my imagination with the threat of going to a residential treatment facility. After lying through my teeth and saying that I made it all up, he put me on some serious medication because even though he thinks its just my imagination he wants to treat me for the voices anyway. So now I can't hear them at all. None of them. Even the good ones that help me. And none of them can front or anything. I can't see them any more in my head either. Its like their whole world is just...gone. I don't know what to do with myself...
Has anyone else ever had a doctor tell them this? Or ever had this happen to them?

UPDATE: I'm gonna go ahead and answer a few of the questions and things that have been brought up and offered to me real quick.
1. Thank you all so much for you help and support! It's nice to know that at least SOMEONE doesn't think I'm a liar...
2. I do not have to see that doctor ever again. He was just the doctor for the hospital I was in at the time and not my real doctor. But he is the second doctor that's told me that same story and my real doctor barely gives me the time of day...
3. I don't need to wean myself off the drugs because the doctor is weaning me off them. After I 'admitted' that I had 'lied' he said he would slowly take me off the Risperdole or something like that, I can't spell all these crazy drug names so I just sounded that out haha
4. One specific personality, Sophie, does self-harm and is the whole reason I got sent to that hospital in the first place. TRIGGER WARNING She tried to hang herself in the school bathroom and got mobile crisis called. I've seen crisis pretty much once a week for a couple months now and none of them believe me either. Anyway, while I was at the hospital but before my doctor threatened me, I politely called Sophie out on her self-harm/suicide attempts, Shell on her bingeing/purging, Samuel on his... psychotic behaviors, and Alex on her just plain bitchyness. The whole system was upset we had to go back to the hospital and the four trouble makers finally agreed not to get in the way of living my life. When I tried to tell my doctor that they had agreed not to hurt me anymore he looked me blankly in the face and said "I do not believe a word that comes out of your mouth." I was crushed. I bawled my eyes out because I just got the difficult ones to finally cooperate and now I was being told that it didn't even matter. So I'm hoping that once the doctor takes me completely off the medication they'll slowly come back. Even after one day without the medicine (because my parents haven't picked up my refill yet) I already got a little bit of communication with two of them again. Lizzy said that they didn't leave me, the medicine just made them all very tired.

I'll update again once my doctor gets me completely off the new medicine and let everyone know if our system goes back to normal. It's been really helpful to hear that so many other people know what I'm going through!

Also, it's a little strange that the doctor there knew so little about MPD/DiD considering there was a girl in the hospital with me who was actually diagnosed DiD, but she had a completely opposite kind of system than mine. She only new three or four of their names, she didn't hear them talk to her, and when she would switch no one could even tell. It seemed like she didn't switch one time all week, whereas I was switching a bunch of times a day.

So I saw my therapist yesterday (a good one, that actually believes me and stuff) and after I told him everything that happened he was like "That douchebag..." and was super apologetic about what happened to me there. Then we started talking about why everyone left the headspace. The doctor at the hospital said it was because "I finally told the truth" but I thought it was the medication. My therapist thinks everyone was just scared I was going to make them all leave and we both agreed that we wouldn't try to get rid of them, and we would focus on making sure that if I need to, I can take back control if one of them goes back on what they promised. And we agreed not to talk to my parents about any of this because my dad is super against the thought of me being a multiple, he's against me being different in any way at all...oh well though, as long as I know my therapist believes me and we're on the same page with where we want to go with this, I can see a silver lining after all! He said he might want to keep me on the medicine after all because apparently its just for stabilizing my mood, not getting rid of the voices, which just promotes his thought that the others were just scared. I've been trying to reopen communication with them, telling them that they are real and not to believe what that mean doctor said and stuff and telling them that our therapist believes in them. I've started hearing about five of them again. So far I've gotten back Jack, Lizzy, Shell, Alex, and Logan. Maybe in time the others will return too.
Thanks to everyone that's been commenting on my story and being so helpful about help getting off the medicine (which I don't need to do anymore thankfully!) and just giving me a kind word and believing me! It's really been helpful, but after that session yesterday I think things are really going to work out after all :) 
[identity profile] linacrow.livejournal.com
Well, I got my psych profile back, or rather, my parents did. Now, read this and then tell me if I should be pissed.

He used the word pathetic at least 3 times.
The word silly well over 5 times.
The entire thing was condencending.
He said I was sexually disturbed because I made a sexual joke...which he liked. (wtf?)
He pretty much used everything I did to strengthen the view he got of me in the first minute.
I was cautious which obviously means I'm faking.
I couldn't explain it well so I was obviously faking. (I would've used this place and many others like it but I could tell he would've used that to say I was trying to be a part of a group >.<)
No all of my teachers and parents have this view of me.
Joy of joys.
[identity profile] st-bastard.livejournal.com
I'm probably going to post things here from this journal in the future. I made this one so I could post things without worrying about what people would say about what I wrote, because the other one seemed a little too public.So I made this one, and if you'd like to friend me, go ahead, but read my disclaimer first. that out of the way, there's something i'd like to ask y'all about. it's a couple things, actually, and i'm posting the convo they're in as well...i'll cut it, but bear with me.

Convo with a friend )
so my questions are, pretty much,

1. do you ever notice you're hungry or thirsty or something too often, because they're hungry, or thirsty, etc kinda without you, or something

2. Anyone else have an intense phobia of being locked up for being multiple?  I tend to shy away from mental health professionals, because of this.

3. has anyone else ever felt the trapped, claustrophobic feeling I described? It was intense, and sooo scary. I don't consider myself crazy, just because i'm multiple, but this morning, I certainly felt like I was going crazy.

[identity profile] thisslideup.livejournal.com
My therapist finally hit the nail on the head. After about 6 months of trial and error, process of elimination theories (You have problems with your mother, you don't have enough of a social life, you enjoy depression, you're just really imaginative) he finally hit the nail on the head.

A disassociative disorder!

I felt like whapping him upside the head.

He basically decided early on that I was not schizophrenic at all, and, because of that, never gave any of the "serious problem" theories a chance. He completely ignored the fact that I could have even a mild disassociative case.

All of the signs pointed to yes. I've struggled for quite some time now about whether I am a multiple or not (and came to the conclusion that, well, not that much of one, if anything). I often experience most of the symptoms of sleep paralysis, and explain in great detail to him all of my minor out of body experiences (a sensation of being stretched like a Stretch Armstrong doll, or sinking out of my body to about a foot behind myself, or being unable to move my arms or legs at will, or hearing voices and music and seeing things, feeling at a constant distance from the world, forgetting large chunks of my day, separating my emotions into four distinct personalities).

If I were my therapist, I would fire myself for being totally unobservant.

Of course, I totally didn't want to say to him, "hey, look, this is what I have", because I am a lousy teenage girl with a few too many psychology courses under her belt who thinks she knows what's going on and is therefore suspect when she diagnoses herself with something because she could just be faking it.

Or at least, if I were my therapist, that is how I would think, because apparently, it took him until Wednesday (after seeing him at least once, but occasionally several times a week since January).

Uhm, duh.

Has anyone else been especially hesitant about suggesting the correct diagnosis to their therapist for fear of being accused of 'faking' it? How long did it drag on for? Did they ever finally get the picture or did you have to spell it out for them?

[identity profile] thenetwork.livejournal.com
We found this article in the british news. All that stuff was still done -- to gays -- in the seventies. And it's amazing how accurately most of that horrifying garbage fits the medical profession's views on multiplicity. The more things change... Maybe in thirty years we can look back and shudder, too.

When homosexuality was a 'condition'... )


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