Question

[terendel.livejournal.com]

Okay, hope this doesn't sound too weird. My mindmate and I would like to formalize our relationship in some way, and I've asked her to handfast me. (Is that even a verb?) I know that some of you have in-system marriages. Did you manage to come up with a ritual that involved people outside the system? We have some singlet friends, and we'd like to involve them in some way, but I can't come up with anything good. Of course I'm even feeling weird about telling them, but I think that's just me. I've been "underground" so to speak for so long that it's still weird for me to even interact with others. Much less trying to explain how an in-system relationship would work.

Sorry if I've started to babble. This whole thing is making me nervous.

Comments

[ricktboy.livejournal.com]

Well, my wife and I formalized our vows in front of our packmate's husband. Nothing fancy, just basic slipping on of a ring, and professing our commitment to each other.

it was nice.

Faith
Pack Collective

[liedownlovely.livejournal.com]

My husband and I had a simple ceremony in-system which was spur of the moment. We'd like to have one involving our close friends outside as well one day. If you want to get your singlet friends involved why not have bridesmaids and groomsmen? Are any of your singlet friends ordained ministers (if that is your religious choice)? Maybe your friends could help you with a little reception after the ceremony too.

-Kevin

[weirdiguess.livejournal.com]

We don't plan on involving anybody outside of the system. Don't plan on involving other people inside the system either to be honest. Can't see anything with other bodied people working too well with us. Takes too long to 'switch' properly, and hell if some of us get nervous others (like me) end up a little blocked out.

Congratulations !!

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sologamy
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1264/is_n2_v28/ai_19439438

Maybe you could take some ideas from this. The last time someone on this community wanted to have a marriage ceremony in-house, this or something roughly similar were what was suggested.

Re: Congratulations !!

[terendel.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Should have known that there was something appropriate on Wikipedia, if we'd just known where to look. That helps a lot. Especially since one of the singlet friends is becoming very active in Africa. He's the one we felt most weird about telling. We can use the concept of sologamy in Africa as an easier way to relate it to something more in his experience.

[ex-memepr0g.livejournal.com]

That's a splendid idea, and I don't necessarily find it all that strange. I am married within the system myself. If you wish to involve them in some way, you could possibly discuss it with them. And an in-system relationship could certainly work if one interacts with the other partner within the system's world, rather than outside. I have to do that myself - I am a fronter in our system, but my wife does not front, so I have to travel to our own world to do that.

Richard of the Fen System

[terendel.livejournal.com]

Like your icon. I'm also Richard.

[ex-memepr0g.livejournal.com]

Why thank you - it's just me.

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

That's wonderful! :)

I was married recently in September to someone who was originally a visitor to our group. Our marriage took place within his family's clan. He has a huge family. Since his clan are Vampires, the rituals involved his clan's customs. And since I am not a Vampire, there were certain changes made to accommodate me. Marriages in his clan are more of a public way to include others into their family; to say that I belong to him, we are together, and everyone else are to keep their hands off (unless we both agree to otherwise). :) It was such an amazing feeling to be absorbed into his family. I was overwhelmed at first but it was pretty amazing.

Amalah

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Back in the mid-1970s, we had a lot of traveling and visiting between us and a friend's group. Mostly they visited in the middle world, but one of her people started spending a lot of time on Laura and with a certain Aurean woman :) They saw each other for several years and finally he moved to Laura permanently, went to work for Aurean Television and married her. He is still there, and they are still together.

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

That is what happened here. We've had various individuals who have visited us and left for several years. Their home is elsewhere, not within our Realm. We didn't have a middle world though. When they first began to visit, they were outside of this body and would communicate with out separate from our body. Then a few would visit within the Realm. Rayne is the first who actually decided to live within our Realm from the clans that visit. There is another who visited so often that he was practically part of our group, but his visits have lessened the past few months. There are quite a few personal connections still with the visiting clans, but I'm the first who actually married into their clan. :)

What is a middle world? Is that similar to a mutual shared space?

Amalah

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

The middle world is what we termed a more earthlike subjective environment which has connections both to the earth world and Laura. The actual KSOL1460 radio station is in Solace, a town in the middle world.

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

Ah. Areas of Eressea around the Mansion would be similar to that, except it isn't a pocket area. It blends in smoothly with everywhere else.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

That sounds also something like the places on Earth where you can stand and be both on Earth and Laura simultaneously.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

That doesn't sound weird. I'm engaged, to someone else in-system, although when we do formalize it, I don't plan on being out front for it. It would just be too strange and awkward. I guess, if you wanted to have it where other people here, outside the body, could attend, you could make an IRC channel or something and describe what was going on, and let others participate through text-- it might look like "roleplay", but so what; at least then you would have a handy excuse if anyone wandered in by accident.