Just Curious

[gremlynna.livejournal.com]

I’ve been noticing a tendency since around September for me to almost never have a single personality fronting. There’s usually a conglomeration of 7 or 8 all up at or near the front at the same time. There’s one conglomeration that likes to front when I’m manic (I’m bipolar as well as multiple), and another group that likes to front when I’m depressive.

Does anyone else out there experience anything like this?

Comments

[adreamerforme.livejournal.com]

I've had a experience of many people fronting.... and a few that prefered to front when I was under certain intoxicants, and a few that prefered to front when everything's running smoothing and WE're mainly happy.

But it's been awhile since I've had that many others in my system.

[gremlynna.livejournal.com]

I've noticed that drinking definitely makes it easier for people to switch over, which isn't good when you're trying to keep a responsible person up front so you won't get trashed! Also, there is more of a liking to be at or near the front when life is going well. Of course, it's all according to their individual definitions of "well." Some of us actually prefer to be depressed. :P

[arcaneblades.livejournal.com]

Gee, and we find that it's harder to switch if the body is significantly drunk. Something about focused effort. At least if it's just one of us at the front to begin with.

-m

[gremlynna.livejournal.com]

For us, it seems to take more concentration and focus to stay up front, which can lead to very rapid involuntary switching, blurring, or inappropriate members coming forward when we drink too much. Sometimes, this makes for a wild time around people who know that I'm multiple, but sometimes, it leads to arguments when a hostile member comes forward. :S Not drinking around people who we are angry at seems to be a good working policy so far.

[shatterstorm.livejournal.com]

Our group usually has a handful of us around the front at any time. Right now there's four of us talking. :)

[gremlynna.livejournal.com]

I used to get that a lot and be able to clearly identify who was up and generally who was most in charge, but this is more of a complete lack of sense of identity. The only way we've even been able to get a rough idea of how mqany are up is noticing certain habits that we attribute to certain personalities. Confusing!

[shatterstorm.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't stress about it. There's times when several of us have "blurred" enough that we aren't sure exactly who's driving. Just go with the flow ;)

Love the icon!

[ridetothesea.livejournal.com]

Yes. Single person fronting is extremely uncommon here. We tend to front in at least groups of three. I'm not sure if it changes depending on the emotional states of those involved, but it is something to consider.

[shadowechoes.livejournal.com]

We've been the same way lately - very rarely is there just one of us fronting. Usually it's at least groups of two or three, but more often it's more like five or six, plus more hanging around up front and putting in their input as well. The group also changes depending on the overall mood - when one depressive person fronts, the other more depressive people tend to hang around and front too. The less depressive people are like "screw this bad mood" and wander off. They'll all front together and be goofy and have a good time some other time instead. For us, I think it has to do with a lot of changes going on in our life - we're all wanting to spend as much time up front to be with our new SO as possible, plus a lot of us aren't stable, so there's some comfort and safety in numbers too.

[gremlynna.livejournal.com]

The less depressive people are like "screw this bad mood" and wander off.

I've had something similar happen, but it was because we requested some one who's more comfortable with depression up during a manic phase. Apparently, all the rapid ("Rabid," she interjects.) actions and thought patterns giv e her a headache!

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

it's rare for there to be only one of us using the body at a time.. even if one were more dominant, there is always someone else nearby or co-ing..

[gremlynna.livejournal.com]

I used to have stuff more like that, but now it's more like no real idea about who exactly is up front, just some general chaos and a cheerful or depressed mood.

[seaclans.livejournal.com]

For us it's just a given, because what might be called a "host" is actually a bunch of people and sorta less independent bits of people that merge in and out of each other all the time... people sometimes call this smoodging.

It makes for a funny sort of reality I guess because we often don't know quite who we are at the moment, though there are several "main" ones of us. In addition there are other people who aren't part of the smoodge who can be front or near front commenting, but usually there is some of us hanging around even when they do.

For a long time this method of switching had us confused because it was less defined and abrupt from depections in the media, so, when we were new to it all and less sure of ourselves, we'd think it meant we weren't really plural, but actually its just our way of functioning. I think when we were developing, obvious switching would have been punished for one reason or another and this way we had built in camoflauge. I'm not really sure about that last bit, maybe its just yet another variation on how peoples neural nets connect.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

Hah, yeah, the media depiction. I'm sure there are some systems for whom instant switching really is the norm rather than the exception, and we have had experiences of having someone suddenly switch over or 'grab the wheel,' but for the most part, the instantaneous switch seems to be one of those things that has more to do with what looks good on TV than with reality.

We almost always have several people around or near the front at one time, and it confused us for years, like you said, because the only 'model' we knew of was more like 'taking turns being the single person.'

I think when we were developing, obvious switching would have been punished for one reason or another and this way we had built in camoflauge.

That was the case for us as well, I think. The adults around us always told us how concerned they were that we were 'getting carried away with our fantasies' and 'telling people you're someone you're not.' Obvious switching would have been... not-a-good-thing, especially after we got into school.

[gremlynna.livejournal.com]

When this "smoodging" (I like your word!) first started happening and didn't seem to be ending, I thought I'd integrated for a while. Then the "shout outs" from the back started up again.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

There's a lot of discussion of questions like this under the co-consciousness section of the Memories section. (http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=multiplicity)

[gremlynna.livejournal.com]

I'll have to check that out. Thanks.

[chaostiny.livejournal.com]

When we are really depressed or need an adjustment to our bipolar meds, we end up fronting solo, which sucks and takes up wayyy too much energy. Usually we are here in groups of 3 or 6 securely velcroed together. We used to solo all the time and we spent a lot of time in bed or in the hospital cus it was too much work and we didn't have the energy. I personally need the help of the others to do the daily stuff...