Amnesiac moment

[weare.livejournal.com]

The oddest thing happened today. Ok, so maybe it wasn't the oddest but it sure was weird.

I was giving my son a bath. All of the sudden I looked at him and was very afraid. I had no idea who this child was or why he was naked in a tub of water. I just watched him, happily playing with his bath toys, and was really scared. I just had no idea.

Then I told myself, "silly, that's Orion."

Who's Orion? Where did he come from?
He's my son.
I gave birth to him?
Um...yeah! How could I forget?

This went on for a moment or two and then the next thing I knew I was back to bathing him. Everything back to normal. Orion didn't even know that anything was different with his mommy.


I've gotten amnesia moments like that before. Where I didn't know who I was or where I was or what I was doing or who I was with or anything. But, this was the first time I interacted with myself and tried to rationalize with myself about it. Usually I would just slowly snap out of it.

It got me thinking. What if there is someone who comes out so rarely that they don't know anything that's going on? And if that same person is so shocked about what they're experiencing that I find myself feeling the same thing (ie, I front so hard that I get lost in the moment). I didn't feel different like I sometimes do when someone takes helm.

Something to think about.

X-posted to my journal.

My question to all of you is this: Do you get these amnesia moments? What do you do when they happen? Why do you think they happen? etc...

Comments

Re:

[ex-khailitha846.livejournal.com]

I've been raising four children for 13 years by myself as a multiple. Between my more evolved selves and my guides, there seems to be a system in place that prioritizes caring for the children of my body. Even in the middle of a severe flashback or switch, if one of my outside kids shows up, there is this automatic re-orienting response that puts someone out front who knows how to deal.

I used to worry alot about the safety of my children and Our ability to care for them... but this has happened enough that I trust it.

I read something written by a collective once that explained that DID is one of the least harmful (to self and others) disorders out there. The fact that we developed it in the first place says something profound about our commitment to functionality and our attitude about harming others. I'm guessing that your system has a system of checks and balances... ask around inside and see what kind of answers you get.