hello, it's me

[mrshannibal.livejournal.com]

hi, me again

i just wanted to thank folks here for all of their positive input in how i've been feeling about this whole thing...really, i have nowhere to go...i do talk to my one person IRL, and sometimes my daughter - who told me
"this explains a lot of your behaviour"

ok...

saw a movie that surprized me about it being a trigger...i won't go into detail about the film, only that's pan's labyrinth and much of it did not sit well w/me...
or "anyone" else, for that matter...

i have learned that one of the "males" is a 16 yr. angry boy named "julian"...
he drives fsst, but doesn't have a license yet...i say "angry", but i think that's more of a "show"...

this is still so confusing and i have no idea what goes on when i get into what i call a "funk"...it's like i'm in the back seat of a car, and someone else is driving and i'm looking thru the windshield...well, i have some idea, but still unsure...i know the "girls" like the music in the car...

i'm learning a few things here and there, but then i want to wake up and this not be here...

so, thanks for listening...

Comments

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

Is the movie scary? :( I've seen so many commercials on the television about horror movies. I don't understand why people want to watch other people being murdered like that. :( Even if it's supposed to be pretend.

-Butterfly

[mrshannibal.livejournal.com]

a little on the creepy side, yes...

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

:( I hope you're feeling better today. Hug.

-Butterfly

[mrshannibal.livejournal.com]

actually, no - i am not...
not today...
revelations last night and this morning...

just a whole lot going on...
i'm pretty safe here at work, so i will be here until 7pm...

can i friend you? or you know, if that's ok w/you?

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

:( You can add if you like to. I am online off and on. I wish that movie didn't start all this for you! :(

-Butterfly

[mrshannibal.livejournal.com]

the movie didn't "START" something that wasn't already there...
it simply added to it...
and really, i've been trying to get a handle on all of this for a long time..
it's just recently surfaced due to other circumstances...
and now it's here...
for whatever reason - i have to deal w/this now...and i wish i didn't...

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

I meant recently starting it all. I admit that I don't really understand it all, but I understand when someone is in pain. :(

-Butterfly

[mrshannibal.livejournal.com]

thank you...

i don't want to blame the movie, as i think i should have researched it a little better than what i did...

still, you're right...i'm sure i could have done w/a comedy than this...