Can I ask you a single question without getting 20 different answers?

[20splinters.livejournal.com]

Uh, there are 21 members in here that I know of.

Bleah. Trying to explain the multiplicity thing to the roommate last night. He asked that question and wanted to know who the "main" is. Uh, don't have one. There's a tendency for 1 or 2 of us to be the main ones fronting over a long time span, but there's a regular "changing of the guard." The last few days there's been a lot of co-presencing and rapid switching back and forth, so I guess we have been more confusing to people outside than usual. We've been just not mentioning when we switch and letting the roommate experience us without knowing, but that can lead to awkward situations.

He and Shel are lovers, but I feel only friendship. But I'm social and like physical contact, so he gets the wrong idea sometimes if I hug him. And Wish, Wish just tries to avoid contact or conversation because he knows that people react badly when they find out they're dealing with a gay elf boy in a female body. Guess I shouldn't tell the roommate that he kissed Wish. I think that's kind of funny even though Wish is embarrassed.

I'm not quite sure how to explain to the roommate better, and it needs to be done. He's a decent guy in every other way, and if some of us weren't here he and Shel would be really great together, but he just seems completely close-minded to anything but the standard psychological explanation of multiples. Any ideas?

Gab, with some co-presencing by Wish and Janna

Comments

[netdancer.livejournal.com]

Give him this?

http://www.astraeasweb.net/plural/netdancer.html

That was written specifically for nonmultiples. :)

[20splinters.livejournal.com]

Wow! O.O

I think I learned a few new things myself. I'll try to get him to read that. Thanks.

Gab

[myorp.livejournal.com]

i liked that. hadn't read it before. thanks. ^_^

[ricktboy.livejournal.com]

We use sliders to show people who's out at any one time, so they don't make mistakes like kissing someone they shouldn't.

in addition, show him our faq. it's here (http://rickmacleod.bravehost.com/packcollective.html) it might help. sometimes reading something out, in detail, might help. Or make your own, and show it to him. It's helped so many of our friends understand.

Rick/Liz/Wolf
Pack Collective

[20splinters.livejournal.com]

I've got the introduction all written up with link from my profile. I've tried to get him to read it and some of my LJ stuff before, but he's never wanted to. However, he did happen to come up and read this entry just after I posted it >.< (Of course, the one post that had stuff in it he wasn't supposed to know!), so maybe he's willing to read stuff now.

What's a slider?

Thanks
Gab

[ricktboy.livejournal.com]

uh, I had posted a pic of it somewhere, I'll see if I can find it... it's an arrow, that can move to point to different names.

like this:

rick _
_
liz <--_
_
tara _


see? we made one out of paper, and tape, and put it on a cardboard backing. I can give you instructions on how to make one, if you like :)

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

I like that idea! :)

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Well, your friend is welcome to come here and ask any questions he likes, but like you said, he might get a zillion different answers.

Some systems do have a "main one", or a central person, or one guy called it a leader. Some don't. We've met groups that were run by committees, some that operated just like a business with some CEOs, regular workers and temps, and we have sort of a minarchy. Well, not exactly. For us, it depends on the situation and the subject in question... but in this group, nobody can be said to be "in charge" of anything in particular, really.

I like the Hi my name is... thing, with the wheel you can turn to each name. That is one of the best icons I've ever seen, too. We still want one.

Nick

[20splinters.livejournal.com]

I'll have to see if we have the materials around to make something like the nametag. I don't know if everybody will wear it, but it's a start.

The friend doesn't understand why people keep journals and do the internet communities, but maybe we can get him to read some of the stuff at least.

~Wish, Janna, Shel, Strawberry

[cross-clan.livejournal.com]

Hi I'm Trich of the Cross-Clan formally visionaree, apparently the desired username of our roommate (kaci's wife). We both have others and things get very chaotic from time to time. we've been struggling with identification methods. The latest is diferent color hair ties and wrist bands. Sounds strange but seems to be working for the moment.

[20splinters.livejournal.com]

Personaly I'm not sure how to react to this...(and Yes this is the talked about "roomate")it's hard to understand or take well, when one of the "personaltys"say "if i loved you anymore then I'd have to kill you."then procced to explain how they would take my own sword from it's sheath and stab me through the heart and since i sleep on my stomach it would be the easyest then take that sword out and kill them selfs while my still warm blood drips.so yes, i'm having a hard time taking all this in....

[20splinters.livejournal.com]

"her," the red witch, the one without a name. Disrupts life for all of us, causes trouble every chance she gets, both with us and with people outside the body (lovers, friends, roommates, etc.). We've been trying to get rid of her since we discovered her, and apparently, we just lost an opportunity, because we're too nice and forgiving, and Moloka'i's an ass.

*bubble*

Not sure what that means, but Wish says it a lot when things are going wrong.

Gabby, mostly, but a lot of strong input from others

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Try this: Tell that person you are not impressed, and mean it. I saw this work pretty well in a couple other groups awhile back.

[20splinters.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure if that applies here. Maybe I'm misunderstanding your interpretation of the word, but from what I've read, "host" usually refers the one person born in the body, with other members clearly from outside or soulbonds. While we do have "outsiders" or soulbonds, I don't think they'd identify any of us mere mortals as "host." There basically is no primary "original personality" here, at least not that we know of. I can remember very far back, like crawling age, but Lynne was always there, and maybe Wish, but it's hard to tell since he's only about half here even when he is "here." And then there's "her," the bitch without a name. She somehow manages to disappear completely when she's not out causing trouble, so we don't know how long she's been here.

I don't know how much of that made sense. My mind's wandering today.

Joey, mainly