Fragmentation

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

Do any of you ever feel that you are breaking apart? Not in the sense that new people are splitting from you, but that you are blurry, undefined, unable to piece your thoughts and self together. You can't collect your thoughts, and your headmates can't reach you, even if you know they're trying...

I had one of those experiences today, and it is something I'm really not used to. We tried meditating, which helped a little, and am now getting food, which also helps. I feel disconnected from Tahl, let alone the others, even though we know there are no barricades up. Its quite frightening and disorientating.




Tahlhaz, as I see him now. Unfortunately, I can't see him right now because my brain is exploding. Click to enlarge.

Comments

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

I felt like that when I was very stressed. I've seen when they've had anxiety attacks and it can feel like losing control and losing control of thoughts. Maybe you weren't grounded. If meditation and food helped, you might not have been grounded. This will probably sound strange but you could try carrying a rock or a stone in your pocket. If you feel disconnected again, hold the stone in your hand to give you something concrete to focus on. One of my spirit guides told me to do this while I meditate because sometimes I lose my concentration and feeling the stone in my hand brings me back.

-Butterfly

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

I think it highly likely. Something I've been working on is the ability to switch with Tahl, so that I am more self contained and identity-independant of the body and have a stronger, but different sense of self. I guess it will take time though ;;

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

That sounds like a stress thing -- we've had singlet friends talk about that kind of feeling too, not just multiples, and we have had it ourselves, and sometimes it does affect communication. You've just gone through a heavy experience losing someone you thought cared about you, and having your own mother say some pretty horrid stuff. So it's no wonder. Advice, we don't have much, except for this: Anything that makes you feel more grounded and anchored to yourselves and reality. Do you have any music that makes you feel that way? Or places you could go? Otherwise, try what tej_agni said. Nice art. Could you make icons of you guys using your own pictures?

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

I'm intending to. :3

Becauase we are so new at this, we tend to stress out at anything that seperates us atm, which makes it harder than it already is.

[forever-alone.livejournal.com]

"Do any of you ever feel that you are breaking apart? Not in the sense that new people are splitting from you, but that you are blurry, undefined, unable to piece your thoughts and self together. You can't collect your thoughts, and your headmates can't reach you, even if you know they're trying..."



Almost all the time.

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

Being mushy bites.

[weirdiguess.livejournal.com]

Some of us get it, just a stress thing, think it happens to most people.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

Usually when that happens to us, it means we're really overloaded and we need to, if in any way possible, go lie down and do either nothing for a while, or something as calm and non-stressful as possible.

Although I think for us, "not being able to piece your own thoughts together" and "not being able to figure out who 'you' at the front are right now" are generally two different issues, kind of. But sometimes identity can start to get shaky too when we're really overstimulated.

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

We're still figuring out how seperate we really are, and who fits where. Two of the guys are pretty well established, and they have backed off to give me and Tahl room to move, but its still hard to tell, because he is still somewhat fragmented himself. This time, it was me, the accustomed 'leader' or primary or whatever, so it was distressing for everyone.

This also leads us to wonder how I and Tahl are in relation to each other...
we initially assumed that I was the only one tied to the bodyworld, and that he could 'dip in' and share, but this makes us think that this might not be the case, and we are both capable of fronting individually. This makes us happy (I've been encouraging him to take up things he's interested in) but its also quite challenging...

I have been *extremely* stressed. What with my engagement breaking up over all this...I figured that was probably it, but hearing that others have similar experiences reassures my frazzled nerves XD

[echoesnspectres.livejournal.com]

We've had something like this for a long time (think months), and are getting out of it now (hoping it continues). Some of us who are fronting now haven't been able to do so for what seems like ages, and we're more occupied with interacting with the world around us than with figuring out what happened (which we may not find out anyway). Getting stuck had to do with, as everybody else is saying, stress. God only knows what caused us to get unstuck; it feels like a shock, though. So maybe doing something completely different than usual would help; but that's hard if you're very stressed, of course.

[aquilawolf.livejournal.com]

I'm in a similar situation and I think it has something to do with others that I was hoping would accept and support my multiplicity, ended up not doing so. The flow and communication in my system has been affected. It IS frightening and the more I think about the outside people that I thought would be friends, and aren't, the worse I feel and the more stuck I get. Fortunately I know several other multiples in real life so that helps me feel a little better.

[xanguisettex.livejournal.com]

i think it's prolly stress too. the more of it, the worse off you get.

btw where is your devart account? your art is really nice, i'd like to see more of it :3

sarah

[rabbitsystem.livejournal.com]

She's at http://crystalseraph.deviantart.com/.

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

lol, thanks XD