Interacting With Others

[terendel.livejournal.com]

Richard here. I know I'm not the only one who's experienced this, but I guess I need to hear that. I hardly ever front. The first time I ever fronted, the person I "met" wanted to integrate me, effectively killing me. My mindmate never associated with that person again. Well, fronting and interacting with others hasn't exactly been easy after that. We've made a couple of friends who now know about me, and I'm testing the waters with email and the like. Well, I don't do it that often, and I sometimes say the wrong thing. I get teased about it, and I just don't deal well with that.

Any other infrequent fronters have the same experience? I got teased today. It was harmless. I know that. But it still hurt, and right now I feel like pulling back inside and never coming out again.

Comments

[gryphons.livejournal.com]

*nods* we have a few who aren't around much.. I'm sorry you have had such bad experiences..

we agree with child_recalled.. get support from inside.. and then try to build friendships outside.. I know it's hard.. but maybe set up a regular time for you to do something you enjoy.. outside.. walk dogs, goto an arcade, go to the library, skating, something..
I don't know your living situation, but maybe if your gender and your shell's are the same introduce yourself to people by your name.. or a nickname you can agree to.. that way you'd develop friendships with people who share your intrests.. it's an idea..

Hope things improve for you soo.
-Darius

[terendel.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the comments, gryphons and child_recalled. Support from inside I have, though there are only two in our system. But my gender and the shell are not the same, which makes it harder for me to introduce myself to others. Love to do it, but I'm not going to pretend to be female when I'm not. I'm trying to develop relationships on-line instead.

[mirrorbrothers.livejournal.com]

There's teasing and teasing. Friendly teasing has always been big in my family, and that extends to between Rob and I. So it's a more comfortable thing, with me. A couple years ago, for example, Rob was starting to tell people about me, but he was too nervous to tell them my name and I couldn't really front. So one of his friends started calling me "Rob version 0.5" (obviously I was an inferior model, since I didn't have a body.) Once I finished spluttering, I thought it was funny. But I don't tolerate actual insults, though I'm more the type to lose my temper than to retreat.

I do know about not wanting to come out, though. Sometimes the world seems like such a rotten place. It almost make me think I'd rather just stay in here where I don't have to deal with how awful people are to each other. But it's worth it. I love my brother, but - well, I'm sure you understand how cool it is to finally have a best friend that's not Rob. Just stick with it. Your mindmate sounds like he'd be glad to help you - say, by picking people he trusts and telling them about you before you come out, so they know not to tease.

Good luck.

- Johnny

[terendel.livejournal.com]

*laughing* Yeah, Johnny. If only I were as lucky as you to have a mindmate who's the same gender. But I'm a guy, and she's a girl. And a short, petite girl at that. So we have to be pretty careful about who we come out to.

And I'm doing better now. I've sorted it out with the person who teased me. I've been talking with someone for years (my mindmate) who barely needs words. So I have to remember that other people don't have that close a link to me. I have to actually explain stuff.

[gryphons.livejournal.com]

Ahh, *nods* we run into that situation a lot.. since most of the primaries here are male and shell is female.. You are welcome to contact us online.. on yahoo or aol.. Gryphonsinger and Phyresong respectively. ..

[terendel.livejournal.com]

In this case it would have been. The intent had been to have it done without our consent or knowledge. Not sure how he intended to manage that, but that was his plan. Making us one "person" would have meant the end of me as an indivdual, which is close enough to death in my book. Needless to say, we didn't go back to that counselor. I've always been grateful to my mate's husband for telling us the plan. He was supposed to keep in secret from both of us. *shudder*