(no subject)

[jadedmosaic.livejournal.com]

Tiea was having this finally awesome long talk with her 24 year old bio daughter. Daughter tends to call her Mom and act like all is perfectly fine with talking to us only problem is she calls on the weekend when her husband is working so tonight she comes out and says shes been reserching MPD on the Internet and has some questions but she wants only to talk to her real Mother so Tiea is like "ok" and poof gets nervous about the questions and leaves TOTALLY GONE JUST LIKE THAT. more

Every question has been directed to us. Like How can Tiea be sure we all loved the bio kids and would never freak out and hurt them? Or else why did some of tehm want to hurt Tiea ( that would be me in the early days) so I ask her "Were you ever hurt?" (I know I chaeted by talking to her)but of course I love the kids I went through 9 months with her in my womb too so the daughter says well" No not really but it was weird knowing there were guys in you," "Like what about the guys ?"" Did they love us too ?" so Joseph says "who do you think was a father to you when the marraige busted up"? and tought ya hoow to fish and play ice hocky and put togetehr all the toys on Christmas Eves and fixed the car when it broke down" So daughter says "Wow that could be handy I guess"

The bio daughter is totally going along with the converstaion which we think is totally odd so finally we hear her on the phone inhale deep and talk sqeeky so Tiea arives front and center and says "Are you smoking"? and daughter says "well her husband and her New Years Resolution was they were going to not be fake to there parents so yes they smoke the weed on the weekends and shes out on the portch smoking. as we speak"

So I break out laughing cause shes having this totally most honest wonderful open conversation buzzed on canibis. Ha ha We gave her no lectures and laughed when she started talking with food in her mouth addressing "the munchies "

The daughter continues about how she really liked the one that bought out the shopping Malls for the kids and took them swimming all the time and playing tenniss and basket ball (thats me agian) and soccar (thats me, yeah ) I say happily "Your welcome, I enjoyed it too" and she twitches out and goes WAIT is this MY Mother( I'm totally messing with her head and say "yep still here so she continues" about how her cat is freaking her out and acting strange and what should she do?And the only one she can call with these questions is her Mom.

So I tell her "stop blowing weed in her face , shes high, she can sense that your buzzed and shes reacting. Daughter says "Wow come to think of it this is heavy shit I am very high!! Are you really this calm about me smoking? & Why ( Now she is getting parinoid )I tell her "I am really really calm too honey"So she says MOM?are you high? Mom Are you still there ? I jump to the front and say" Honey I never left" She says well dont go anywhere, She hangs up cause shes got to take the dogs out and get some fresh air but reminds us she will call back Tiea and she says Its so good being able to talk bout 'the others' with you cause she always wondered what they( us) all thought of the kids so I say "why dont you just ask them there right here and can hear you anyway "

So she says why arent you talking crap about me calling you high on weed? You cant be MY Mother, My Mother would of lectuered me by now and told me if I was trying to get pregnant, and a high risk pregnancy I should not be smoking so I jump into Social Worker mode and imitate Tiea best I can and say "well I havent seen any studies that it can hurt the baby and if you do get pregnant it will help with the nausea" We all had a three hour converstion with the kid and she is high as a kite and hasent got a clue once again Canabis to the rescue. Shes probobly nodded off by now. Its great to know she liked me. Does anybody else have grown up kids that get confused and demand to talk to only the birthling ? When we raised them all along and they dont get it. Peace Toni the end

Comments

[ex-khailitha846.livejournal.com]

We've got two grown-up (and two not so grown-up and still at home) kids. None of the kids has ever demanded to speak to only the birth mother. I think part of that is, for the three oldest, their birth mother "died" when they were young, and when I (Jess) decided (somewhat reluctantly) to raise them in her absence, we went through some interesting and tough times. I couldn't remember them... it was truly like having a bunch of adopted kids. And there was some intense family therapy work with an amazing therapist who helped all of us figure out how to bond.

The ones of Khailitha that couldn't be responsible were never allowed around the kids... and I was a very strong filter for years, maintaining the illusion of continuity regardless of who was awake. (With me as the filter, no one else really "fronted", but they could act "through" me.)

Oddly enough, my two youngest children (daughter - 13 and son - 17) are both multiple, but with only three people each in their "systems." (I don't like that term... how about "collective?" Yes. That's better.) Recently Khailitha went through a massive reorganization where I lost the ability to "filter"... and the other night some of my girls came out and had a very pleasant and frank conversation with the 17 year-old son.

I do believe that authenticity counts. And I have a relationship with my second oldest son, who has been a pot-smoker for a while now, that is very open and supportive. I don't think it's been easy on my kids... not so much the multiplicity per se (although, having 'strange" (read: socially abnormal) parents of any kind is hard of kids) but some of us have very severe PTSD issues that have made life... challenging.

How long has your daughter known you are multiple?

Be well,

Jess of Khailitha

[jadedmosaic.livejournal.com]

Hi the olest daughter knew since she was 11 but she didnet know it she was told it the T thought it a good idea when tiea ws diagnosed with us to get te kids into therapy with a Child Psychologist and he began telling tehm what to be on the lookout for and what to report back to him.

Now we all worked and parented and all was fine but all of a sudden this girl was suppose to be a adult sorta therapist and reporter and be on the look out and it frightened her sorta the way Elaine gets scared of Movies on Lifetime TV where they make Multiples murderers the kid only had what the therapist was telling her to look for so she looked for guys , sluts , foul mouths kids , traumatized people and none of it any time surfaced.

We had some cousins intervene who insistd when we got divorced that Tiea should not andcould notraise the kkids alone she had jsut been diagnosed with SLE Lupus and was physically sick but the bio family insistd this could be time Tiea coud use to rest and do thereapy and get better so the kids were away for9 months with cousins and it changed eevrything from that day on then Tiea became so depressed , we did too and we all started fighting each other then the bio faily got the fraek show theywanted so badly and so did teh T.

The oldest and youngest Son's have always been very easy too talk too no problems at all and open bt with the daughter she did her fair share of manipulatingand ltying about us and now we think she is regretting the results she got which ws a broken family and always wondering if she made more of something then she had too.

You say you have to daughters that are multiple . Thast interesting tome I wonder if it was learned behavior or genetic . Our daughter wonders if she'll ne multiple too we highly doupt it but it can happen naturally too so you never know Kinda for all are sakes we are hoping that never happens so she does not have to hear "the apple doesnt fall far from the tree" and other crap and we jsut do not wish this kind of hardship she would have to face with Society in general. What reasons do you feel attribute to your daughters being mutlile or I should ask do they blame you or wonder if becauseof you or do tehy jst embrace it as normal life.

Congragulations in all sincerity for you doing so well we too have PTSD and that was the most abnormal part of living for us was anic attacks and falsh backs so therewas some drama the kids saw without are being able to control that so we know what you meanPace Toni & Tiea

[jadedmosaic.livejournal.com]

Well I do think that smoking especially for the daughter is high risk since she has had 4 misscarages at 5 months due to something called Hyperemesis gravidium which is nonstop nausaa and vomiting to getting no nutrition at all, last preganacy along with music therapy one doc told teh dauhter the very drug they wer egiving her compozone and zofran to stop vomitting could be fould in pot andsuggsted she take a toke or two when nauseas in the same way someone with cancer doing Chemo would use weed.

This is what we knew Tiea wanted to say so I said it sort of that way having known what the one doctar previously told her. She is trying and it worries us whenever she tries because of so many late trimester misscarrages the last prgnancy was due in August misscarried with twins at end of May so were not ready to go trhough that again with her.

She got a case of Lymmes Desease when she was 16 and tehy think taht is what is causing problems .

We wish she would look into adoption and give her body a rest.Peace Toni & Tiea

Using Medical Pot

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's better to not smoke it but fry it in butter and use the butter to make Cookies instead. We have had some pretty powerful Alice B. Toklas Brownies using very fresh herb.

http://www.cures-not-wars.org/nycbc.html

Many obstetricians now prescribe medical pot in moderation for nausea and to help feel like eating. One of our local ones back home got in trouble for it. His client went to jail and the kid went to a foster home. Yay for zero tolerance.

Re: Using Medical Pot

[jadedmosaic.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this link. Were going to give this to Tiea's daughter Most of the OB/GYN's she has worked with have had no problems with like we said a one or two medecines used to reieve nausea since Zofran and compozine is basically having to pop a pill and a bit more dangerous in Chemical form then the natural form.

This gal has had to have TPN Total Prenatal Nutrition for 5 months at a time which looks like margerine (consitancy wise ) in a IV Bag and burns and infiltrates her viens awful Hyperemesis Gravedum can last te entire pregnancy and the Moms continue to vommit even when they do not eat, they vommit there own bile which in this case the bio daughter did she looked skelital for all 4 prgnancies and had to be hospitalized the duration with IV TPN so I was glad she was kicking back relaxing and finally stopped lying about her smokeing but instaed was honest with her Mom and us.

It gets tiring when we can hear her inhaling and she would deney it. I say hey she works her ass off all week in a Dentist office is a perfectionist wonderful wife to our son in law and if she wants to smoke a little on her porch on the weekends its there business. Theregood hard working kids who rarely do anything for fun outside of going to a movie or Barnes and Noble and Home Depot for a House project.

This smoking is very much the urban pppoular thing again for young couples, her husband is 34 and works in a high position in a forune 500 company so I cant see as it has harmed them any.
(frying in butter is a good tip fo some fun Christmas Party cookies ) we'll see Thnx for the tip Toni & Tiea
Peace

Re: Using Medical Pot

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

Brownies are good - smoking it gives me sinus problems.

BTW - cures-not-wars.org brings me back to some interesting
times at #9 B*****r street ;-)

[gryphons.livejournal.com]

That's one thing we're really worried about.. either if we have physical children or adopt. We don't really worry about them being hurt, just how to be a parent figure when most of us aren't realy the parental type. We'd love them in different ways.. and gods help anyone who tried to hurt them.. sorry this is rambling.
-Darius

[jadedmosaic.livejournal.com]

Oh heck your not rambeling now me and the bio daughter we were definatly rambeling and we sure hope the kids rembembers the positive stuff in the morning. Heres the thing about being a Parent you can figure it out down to dotting the last I and crossing all Ts and your still going to fuck up something cause you'll remember it your way, the way you intended and they'll remember it there way the way it came off so someone is going to get hurt weather you want to or not.Most likely both parent and kid gets hurt. Thats where the love unconditional and forgiveness come in .

And I know this sounds incredabley like a jewish skit but being a Parent is the most wonderful thing in the world and the most selfless thing and the most hearbreaking thing you'll ever experience it comes with bumps and scrapes in the Rd.It comes with scars and no matter how much we say we will not be are parents when we Parent some of it does get mixed in hopefully more positve then negative.

None of us ever abused the kids we never believed in spanking or slap on the wrist or anything just time out. If the kids never knew about us they would have thought we were just moody and Pms -ing allot, because we never changed Tieas schedule or the kids we were totally consistent there were no blackouts or major lost time and we did not announce we were other people all of this was told to kids from a Child Psychologist that the old T referrred them to after diagnosing us which was totally unessessary and made the doc's rich and the kids confussed scared on alert and read things into things that were not what they thought and eventualy the kids were taken to relatives to live for 9 months.

All this just because we were who we were and they knew it cause the T told the Child Psychologist who told the kids to be on the lookout for guys who might act gruff or children who may want to play or somebody who was mean and assertive so it got the kids wondering.

Now this daughter the oldest is looking back and wondering what was the big deal? As she smokes her weed and realizing there was none. I think however you become Parents you will have your ups and downs being multiple or singlet, kids dont come with manuals and ya dont know what kind of parent your going to be till you mix with the kids and every kid is differnt.

What works for one will not work for another, No matter how perfect you think life went multiple or singeton the kids will always blind side you with the woulda could a shoulda And if they dont you will to yourself being a parent can be a very loving and yet sado masochistic kind of thing. Its the strongest bond that ties in the world. Evan if yournot the parental type now that willkick in when it needs to its a primal inbred thing Maternal, Paternal it just happens Good Luck when your time comes Peace Toni & Tia

[gryphons.livejournal.com]

Yep

[jadedmosaic.livejournal.com]

If anybody is responding to post I am blindly posting this to say I posted and Lj wont let me get to my post at all and I rebooted and refereshd and so forth , logged on and off. I was at the site when responding and saw < lj user fluffy_evil > comment so answered got back to my e amil and there is still almost 2 hours later no notification so I am not only not being updated on friends page but my journal wont update and I cant get to the website so if anyone is asking me anything or saying anything I am kinda in the dark I just went to a old notification and hit post coment. Maybe it will correct itself by morning. Peace Toni

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

LJ is still having issues...

[jadedmosaic.livejournal.com]

you can say that again we think were in oneof the cluster groups thats is having a major problem with all communities. I try to go to we are way behind, feels like a time warp. But were here now. Feel s like were playing hide and seek can we or cant we find our community today /tonight? whatever I hope it settles out soon.
Peace Toni