Introduction ~ Could Trigger~
Sep. 15th, 2005 07:13 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
autumskiss.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
multiplicity_archivesHi Everyone,
My name is Sherri. I am not a multiple, but a single. I am VERY close to someone who is a multiple and who is having a very difficult time with it of late. I joined last week and have been kind of lurking, just checking it out to see what it was like in hopes of finding out information for myself in hopes of being able to help him.
As of a month ago he had 7 alters, two of which are very extremely dominate and hurtful. One is actually out to hurt me through him, as well as destroy the core of him completely.
My friend IS growing weaker psychically and emotionally every single day that passes by. Right now he is unable to seek help because of a failing marriage. His wife does not believe that he has MPD/DID and refuses to let him seek help. They fight constantly, and the more that they fight, the more that they violent alters come out. My Friend actually fears for his wife's life.
I am frightened for him. I want to help and have no idea how. He lives in Arizona, I am in California. He fears that if I come there, the alter that is after me will harm me. So he wont let me near him now or in the near future. He wont let me near him until his alters are under any kind of control.
So, these are the questions that I have.
1. What can I do for him in ways of support to make him feel safe and secure when we talk?
2. If an alter comes out while we are talking (especially the violent ones), how can I bring my friend back in with out bringing harm to him?
3, How can I assure him that this isnt going to scare me away, and that I love him no matter what? He has lost so much because of his MPD... I dont want to be another person.. He has tried to push me away out of fear, and I havent left. He has always come back glad that I havent left. Even relieved.
4. Is there a way that he can become stronger or less weak untill he can actually get to a therapist?
Before all of this happened, he had actually had partially intregration done. All but the child was intregrated. Now, with all of this, he has actually discovered that he has more than he was first diagnosed with, which was 7... The more there are, the deeper and darker they become. It is scareing him to death. He doesnt know what to do, and I have never dealt with this before, so I dont know how to help him.
ANY help would be so appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
My name is Sherri. I am not a multiple, but a single. I am VERY close to someone who is a multiple and who is having a very difficult time with it of late. I joined last week and have been kind of lurking, just checking it out to see what it was like in hopes of finding out information for myself in hopes of being able to help him.
As of a month ago he had 7 alters, two of which are very extremely dominate and hurtful. One is actually out to hurt me through him, as well as destroy the core of him completely.
My friend IS growing weaker psychically and emotionally every single day that passes by. Right now he is unable to seek help because of a failing marriage. His wife does not believe that he has MPD/DID and refuses to let him seek help. They fight constantly, and the more that they fight, the more that they violent alters come out. My Friend actually fears for his wife's life.
I am frightened for him. I want to help and have no idea how. He lives in Arizona, I am in California. He fears that if I come there, the alter that is after me will harm me. So he wont let me near him now or in the near future. He wont let me near him until his alters are under any kind of control.
So, these are the questions that I have.
1. What can I do for him in ways of support to make him feel safe and secure when we talk?
2. If an alter comes out while we are talking (especially the violent ones), how can I bring my friend back in with out bringing harm to him?
3, How can I assure him that this isnt going to scare me away, and that I love him no matter what? He has lost so much because of his MPD... I dont want to be another person.. He has tried to push me away out of fear, and I havent left. He has always come back glad that I havent left. Even relieved.
4. Is there a way that he can become stronger or less weak untill he can actually get to a therapist?
Before all of this happened, he had actually had partially intregration done. All but the child was intregrated. Now, with all of this, he has actually discovered that he has more than he was first diagnosed with, which was 7... The more there are, the deeper and darker they become. It is scareing him to death. He doesnt know what to do, and I have never dealt with this before, so I dont know how to help him.
ANY help would be so appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
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no subject
Date: 2005-09-21 03:54 am (UTC)you do realize your in a community with a slightly alternative viewpoint on dealing with multiplicity? most here aren't big fans of integration, and those that are, don't seem comfortable saying so.
your friend sounds to me like he's on a mission to suppress his people and is afraid he's losing. many other places will bravo his efforts and refer him to meds and treatments that will help him do this.
the 101's around here include working out good communication, (which, seemingly, doesn't occur to a number of multiples out there) conflict resolution, working things out for the good of all, etc...
If I were you, I'd send him links. This place, some of the places on the policy screen etc. its always good to help someone know what his options are.
But I think this is his(their) problem, and they(he) will have to find their(you get it) answers. So my advice to you is know that sometimes you just cant help someone, so that you're prepared if it turns out to be the case.
you're welcome to send him my email an explain I'm some random dude that claimed to have experienced similar things, thats willing to tell him what worked for me(us) and answer and questions I can.
changelyng... at... gmail (I hate internet bots)
-Lovecry