Introduction ~ Could Trigger~
Sep. 15th, 2005 07:13 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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multiplicity_archivesHi Everyone,
My name is Sherri. I am not a multiple, but a single. I am VERY close to someone who is a multiple and who is having a very difficult time with it of late. I joined last week and have been kind of lurking, just checking it out to see what it was like in hopes of finding out information for myself in hopes of being able to help him.
As of a month ago he had 7 alters, two of which are very extremely dominate and hurtful. One is actually out to hurt me through him, as well as destroy the core of him completely.
My friend IS growing weaker psychically and emotionally every single day that passes by. Right now he is unable to seek help because of a failing marriage. His wife does not believe that he has MPD/DID and refuses to let him seek help. They fight constantly, and the more that they fight, the more that they violent alters come out. My Friend actually fears for his wife's life.
I am frightened for him. I want to help and have no idea how. He lives in Arizona, I am in California. He fears that if I come there, the alter that is after me will harm me. So he wont let me near him now or in the near future. He wont let me near him until his alters are under any kind of control.
So, these are the questions that I have.
1. What can I do for him in ways of support to make him feel safe and secure when we talk?
2. If an alter comes out while we are talking (especially the violent ones), how can I bring my friend back in with out bringing harm to him?
3, How can I assure him that this isnt going to scare me away, and that I love him no matter what? He has lost so much because of his MPD... I dont want to be another person.. He has tried to push me away out of fear, and I havent left. He has always come back glad that I havent left. Even relieved.
4. Is there a way that he can become stronger or less weak untill he can actually get to a therapist?
Before all of this happened, he had actually had partially intregration done. All but the child was intregrated. Now, with all of this, he has actually discovered that he has more than he was first diagnosed with, which was 7... The more there are, the deeper and darker they become. It is scareing him to death. He doesnt know what to do, and I have never dealt with this before, so I dont know how to help him.
ANY help would be so appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
My name is Sherri. I am not a multiple, but a single. I am VERY close to someone who is a multiple and who is having a very difficult time with it of late. I joined last week and have been kind of lurking, just checking it out to see what it was like in hopes of finding out information for myself in hopes of being able to help him.
As of a month ago he had 7 alters, two of which are very extremely dominate and hurtful. One is actually out to hurt me through him, as well as destroy the core of him completely.
My friend IS growing weaker psychically and emotionally every single day that passes by. Right now he is unable to seek help because of a failing marriage. His wife does not believe that he has MPD/DID and refuses to let him seek help. They fight constantly, and the more that they fight, the more that they violent alters come out. My Friend actually fears for his wife's life.
I am frightened for him. I want to help and have no idea how. He lives in Arizona, I am in California. He fears that if I come there, the alter that is after me will harm me. So he wont let me near him now or in the near future. He wont let me near him until his alters are under any kind of control.
So, these are the questions that I have.
1. What can I do for him in ways of support to make him feel safe and secure when we talk?
2. If an alter comes out while we are talking (especially the violent ones), how can I bring my friend back in with out bringing harm to him?
3, How can I assure him that this isnt going to scare me away, and that I love him no matter what? He has lost so much because of his MPD... I dont want to be another person.. He has tried to push me away out of fear, and I havent left. He has always come back glad that I havent left. Even relieved.
4. Is there a way that he can become stronger or less weak untill he can actually get to a therapist?
Before all of this happened, he had actually had partially intregration done. All but the child was intregrated. Now, with all of this, he has actually discovered that he has more than he was first diagnosed with, which was 7... The more there are, the deeper and darker they become. It is scareing him to death. He doesnt know what to do, and I have never dealt with this before, so I dont know how to help him.
ANY help would be so appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
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no subject
Date: 2005-09-16 11:02 am (UTC)1. What can I do for him in ways of support to make him feel safe and secure when we talk?
just be there for him. keep talking to him, tell him you love him, you care for him, and try to work out his problems with him. safety and security is something that is built up naturally over time.
2. If an alter comes out while we are talking (especially the violent ones), how can I bring my friend back in with out bringing harm to him?
what i do when someone other than meye (the amazing lady of the picture) is at front is, i talk with them. ask them how they are, whats going on, etc. if someone is around, it;s because they have a right to be, and they want to excersize that right. as for violent people, i'd still talk to them. instead of directly asking why they're violent, i'd just ignore the question and begin a friendship with them. after all, most violent/antisocial people are just troubled people with noone to talk to about it.
3, How can I assure him that this isnt going to scare me away, and that I love him no matter what? He has lost so much because of his MPD... I dont want to be another person.. He has tried to push me away out of fear, and I havent left. He has always come back glad that I havent left. Even relieved.
keep not leaving. keep being there for him. again, his trust is something that will take some time to build.
4. Is there a way that he can become stronger or less weak untill he can actually get to a therapist?
i'm not a very good athority on in-system problems, seeing how my system is only one person (and i like him very much :D *gives myself a hug* ahem anyway) but as far as dealing out here "in the 3-d", just keep being there for him. let him see that youa re a rock that he can always rest on, a sympathetic ear that he can always tell his troubles to. it won't help much, granted, but maybe it will plug the floodgates for a bit.
also, be careful about therapists. i agree that if he's becoming violent, he should see one asap, but most therapists are kindof dumb on the subject of multiplicity.
anyways hope i helped *hugs*