Introduction ~ Could Trigger~
Sep. 15th, 2005 07:13 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
autumskiss.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
multiplicity_archivesHi Everyone,
My name is Sherri. I am not a multiple, but a single. I am VERY close to someone who is a multiple and who is having a very difficult time with it of late. I joined last week and have been kind of lurking, just checking it out to see what it was like in hopes of finding out information for myself in hopes of being able to help him.
As of a month ago he had 7 alters, two of which are very extremely dominate and hurtful. One is actually out to hurt me through him, as well as destroy the core of him completely.
My friend IS growing weaker psychically and emotionally every single day that passes by. Right now he is unable to seek help because of a failing marriage. His wife does not believe that he has MPD/DID and refuses to let him seek help. They fight constantly, and the more that they fight, the more that they violent alters come out. My Friend actually fears for his wife's life.
I am frightened for him. I want to help and have no idea how. He lives in Arizona, I am in California. He fears that if I come there, the alter that is after me will harm me. So he wont let me near him now or in the near future. He wont let me near him until his alters are under any kind of control.
So, these are the questions that I have.
1. What can I do for him in ways of support to make him feel safe and secure when we talk?
2. If an alter comes out while we are talking (especially the violent ones), how can I bring my friend back in with out bringing harm to him?
3, How can I assure him that this isnt going to scare me away, and that I love him no matter what? He has lost so much because of his MPD... I dont want to be another person.. He has tried to push me away out of fear, and I havent left. He has always come back glad that I havent left. Even relieved.
4. Is there a way that he can become stronger or less weak untill he can actually get to a therapist?
Before all of this happened, he had actually had partially intregration done. All but the child was intregrated. Now, with all of this, he has actually discovered that he has more than he was first diagnosed with, which was 7... The more there are, the deeper and darker they become. It is scareing him to death. He doesnt know what to do, and I have never dealt with this before, so I dont know how to help him.
ANY help would be so appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
My name is Sherri. I am not a multiple, but a single. I am VERY close to someone who is a multiple and who is having a very difficult time with it of late. I joined last week and have been kind of lurking, just checking it out to see what it was like in hopes of finding out information for myself in hopes of being able to help him.
As of a month ago he had 7 alters, two of which are very extremely dominate and hurtful. One is actually out to hurt me through him, as well as destroy the core of him completely.
My friend IS growing weaker psychically and emotionally every single day that passes by. Right now he is unable to seek help because of a failing marriage. His wife does not believe that he has MPD/DID and refuses to let him seek help. They fight constantly, and the more that they fight, the more that they violent alters come out. My Friend actually fears for his wife's life.
I am frightened for him. I want to help and have no idea how. He lives in Arizona, I am in California. He fears that if I come there, the alter that is after me will harm me. So he wont let me near him now or in the near future. He wont let me near him until his alters are under any kind of control.
So, these are the questions that I have.
1. What can I do for him in ways of support to make him feel safe and secure when we talk?
2. If an alter comes out while we are talking (especially the violent ones), how can I bring my friend back in with out bringing harm to him?
3, How can I assure him that this isnt going to scare me away, and that I love him no matter what? He has lost so much because of his MPD... I dont want to be another person.. He has tried to push me away out of fear, and I havent left. He has always come back glad that I havent left. Even relieved.
4. Is there a way that he can become stronger or less weak untill he can actually get to a therapist?
Before all of this happened, he had actually had partially intregration done. All but the child was intregrated. Now, with all of this, he has actually discovered that he has more than he was first diagnosed with, which was 7... The more there are, the deeper and darker they become. It is scareing him to death. He doesnt know what to do, and I have never dealt with this before, so I dont know how to help him.
ANY help would be so appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-09-16 04:31 am (UTC)2. First off I'd treat them like a real person, not just an "alter". Especially if it's one of the non-violent ones, try to establish a friendship and explain who you are and your intentions as well as your relationship to your friend if they don't know all that already. Perhaps having more friends in the system working together will help calm down the more violent members. It might be rude to them for you to show no interest in having anything to do with them and only wanting to associate with the one member of the system. Just try to be polite about the situation.
3. Tell him that. My advice here is pretty much the same for #1.
4. This will depend on him and his system - all systems work differently, and I can't really say that Our system works like what I think you're describing or that I'm all too sure what would be causing it maybe. But I'd also recommend that he consciously keeps up with his health as anyone would do regardless of being multiple or not. (As in making sure he's eating a healthy diet, getting enough rest, not coming down with a cold, etc.)
Also, just a note. A lot of people here are very anti-integration. To many multiples it is like murder because it is essentially killing off people in a system. You might want to check out some of the FAQs linked on the community userinfo about integration and just about multiplicity in general. Reading some of the community members' personal pages might give you some more insight about how other (functional) systems work as multiples. The fact that he's trying to integrate may also be contributing to the anger of some of the other members in the system. Wouldn't you act out violently if someone was trying to kill you? Try to think of it that way.
~Bleach