um, hi. ^_^

[notquitemichael.livejournal.com]

[i've been thinking about what to write for about 5 minutes now...]

hi,
recently a couple of things have driven me to start looking for an anwser to what it is that gives me more than one person in my head, and well a bit of a lengthy trail through a few text books and the internet has led me here, and i've really identified with some of the things that people have explained, so.

seems the best way to introduce is just to explain who's there, but bare with me, i've never really explained this before to anyone else, so...

all of us anwser to tom (nick think's it's funny and michael resents it, but.) and i'm 18. i don't think i was anyone more than tom until i was about 7, 8ish at school one day, and i was just daydreaming when this thing was suddenly in my head, and it was broken, and i could see how to fix it in my mind and i did. i don't mean that in some sort of spiritual way, it's just what happened.

ever since me, and system-main (which is what i called it,) were friends. from then on i was always updating, and main was always giving me new things that i didn't even think of (like sys-B, which is like a way to make myself happy for a short amount of time, regardless of how i actually feel,) and was always there to talk to.

then at about 12 sys-main indicated that i wasn't the only one using it, and thats when i became aware of nick, who's is the most impulisve person i've met and has a habit of fronting me into stupid situations, and then suddenly being no-where to be found when they need sorting out. and soon after i met michael, who should be writing this because he's about 100 times more coherant than i am on paper, but i won the argument and this is my idea, so.

i'm always thankful for having michael, nick (and main- who i figure is what everyone calls a 'system') but recently i've had a few system-failures [as i dubed them; i understand computers, it makes it much easier if i think of this that way as well.] which is where i'm not entirely aware and if i'm not fronting, then i can't really rember too well, whitout delving manualy into nick and michael, what i've done. and once or twice i've caught nick hiding stuff from me. (he's so annoyed i wrote that.)

i supose i'm just looking for a bit of, um, reasurance that someone else is going/has gone through this and that it is vaguely normal, and perhaps some suggestions for ways of stoping the loss of co-consiouness.

sorry for the long post, i'm not sure i've used live-journal right as well, please excuse my ignorance i was a bit too excited to get something down, then actaully learn how to do it properly first.

thanks, tom. (which nick and michael brething down my neck all the way through it.)

Comments

[eridanusus.livejournal.com]

Hi I don't really have anything to say but I want to write... we have to leave for therapy in 15 minutes and we're having a crappy week. We lose co-consciousness sometimes, it's scary, but then I don't usually watch what's going on when I'm not out so I don't notice unless I try or if people are talking about it.