frightened about moving, might trigger, very panicky

[chorus-of-chaos.livejournal.com]

Hi, we are Rhiannon's Chorus, we don't know how many there are. Michelle used to be host and original body owner, but she died or buried so deep there is no finding her inside during a nervous breakdown and Rhiannon took over. The ones we know of are the littles Beth 8, who has been hiding for a long time, Sara 5, Megan 4, Acacia 14, some others no names, protectors J'Endra who is ageless, Crone who is old, like 80 (body is 35) Colleen who is in her 30's, others we don't know, spiritual people Willow who is ageless, Nimue who is new to us, Silence who does not speak or write but only uses sign language or if she writes she destroys all evidence immediately, and we don't know her age....and lots of others we don't really know. We journal back and forth to learn some, have no therapist other than psych who treats our bi polar and borderline personality disorder (we are so lucky, not) and what husband tells us.

Help.

I only recently joined this community and right now my life is out of control.

Husband has not worked since Jan, we are in desperate straits near losing home and everything, he got a fantastic job offer in Saratoga Springs, NY.

We live in Indianapolis.

We have three weeks to move with next to no money, they are helping with some relocation costs but not all, and we are broke and have taken every loan we can, maxed the cards, etc.

I have no real life friends here to help. All my so called friends baled about the time I started needing support, so I'm very much alone, my family is either to old or to indifferent to assist, and the inlaws are goody goody ultra christians and I hate the person I have to be around them. It's hard to maintain, you know? (please no one take offense to that if you yourself are very christian, it's just that much of my abuse rather than being SRA was christian related, so I have issues there. They are my issues, please don't take it personal. Last thing I need is to be flamed when I'm seeking support here, okay? Please.)

The littles are panicked beyond belief. We've lived here all our lives. Our parents are very old (80 and 77) and many of us have been/are dedicated to taking care of them to the end of thier days and now will not be able to do so, and my brother is an indifferent bastard who has almost no contact with the family. We were born late in our parents lives (they were almost in thier fifties) so losing them has always been a fear. We know no one in the New York area. Husband is useless when it comes to all the little crap that needs to be attended to, like getting medical records and prescriptions and finding new doctors and vets for the pets and worrying about how to transport them (we have many pets, no children thank god) and we don't even have a house there yet, he is leaving in two weeks and staying in a motel and going to try and rent one and some relocation committees there are going to try and help but we don't know even where we are going or what it will be like and we will be here alone for two weeks trying to finish packing and the body is in bad health and the inlaws scare us and we're scared, scared, scared, scared, scared, scared parents are the type emotions not allowed must always be in control they don't understand or see the multiplicity the inlaws refuse to believe in it only have husband and he's leaving us behind for two weeks how do we maintain and we are in bad neighborhood right now scary drug dealing violent ex con alcoholic bastard lives next door we scared of him no gun we have big daggers and knives but still scared the whole system is in chaos and I have got get and keep control and don't know how help help please, anybody have ideas just so ovewhelmed sorry this post is so crazy but I am....I don't know words to describe how bad things are.....please, anyone have ideas?

Comments

[thesparrowhawk.livejournal.com]

Woah honey.. first off, take a deep breath.. and another..

Now I can't say I can relate to having the chorus you have, because there's only the two of us, but I (the owner of the body is asleep at the moment) can tell you that running around in a panic is not going to help the situation any and will very likely set off some of the more unpleasant aspects of the bi-polar - and I only know that because my Host has a 13 year old son with it, but I observe a lot.

Moving is always stressful hon, even when yer not a chorus, don't have bi-polar, and have cash flowing out yer ears. My first suggestion would be to decide as yer packing to get rid of anything that isn't absolutely essential. The fewer boxes you have, the less it's gonna cost to move. If there was more time, I'd say sell whatever you weren't taking, which would help the money situation too, but you seem to be pressed fer time..

Set aside one day to call all yer doctors, shrinks, counselors, vets, *whatever*, and ask for referrals where yer gonna be moving. They have access to the net, it's part of their job to help find people to continue your healthcare, so let them do the "footwork". Even if you find you want to switch doctors after you move, at least you'll have someone to go to till you find a replacement..

Don't try to pack everything at once. Start with one room, pack it up, then move on to the next room. You'll be surprised how fast it actually goes.. We managed to pack and move on two weeks notice, and all we had the movers do was the furniture - but then we only moved across town. Even if you only manage to pack up a single room in a day, you don't live in a 14-room house do you? One room at a time.. so you don't get overwhelmed.

Last, shop around for the best price on moving companies. Some of them will come pack yer stuff up for a small additional fee, and almost all will provide you with boxes..

I hope I've been some help.. but please.. if you feel like yer getting overwhelmed, remember to take care of yerself.. you can't accomplish anything in a panic.. And contact me if you feel like you need to talk.. if I'm not mistaken, this entry should send you to my LJ page, which has my e-mail.. Take care, and I hope everything goes as smoothly for you as possible..

Re:

[chorus-of-chaos.livejournal.com]

whew...well, I did manage to grab a breath somewhere and slow down some of the spin in my head, or maybe we are all just worn out. (the panicking eventually breaks down to exhaustion, you know?)

Some good suggestions, will add them to my notebook. We did find a truck rental that we got a good deal on between the internet and my AAA membership, but here in Indy they want a small fortune for others to shift the stuff into the van. (getting there his co workers will probably help unload, but loading is mainly going to be his father, whose health isn't great, and a brother in law) we live in a small, cluttered, cramped house..which actually I'll be glad to get out of...we got a deal on boxes too, as well as I'm scrounging them where I can.

The doctors and stuff...I'm having trouble even getting in contact with, much less assistance. I'm thinking I'm actually going to have to make an appointment with each of them (bloody hell, there are so many!) to get this done, and they all want a fee to copy my medical records. jerks.
I'm going to interview doctors when I get there, as I am REALLY picky about my healthcare. Maybe I should make that really PUSHY about my healthcare. LOL. Anyway, I'm going to try and get three months worth of scrips on everything and mail in so that that won't be an issue while I hunt down someone in the new area, I stole the phonebook from the area when the company flew us there for a weekend so I could see it and meet the people so I've got a lot of places already picked out to call and talk to, and I've got MCI unlimited long distance free phone calling so I'm going to take advantage of it, it's just the phone has been non stop with real estate agents the last day or two, at least that has started. My biggest scare was having to go there and not really having anyplace set up yet, I didn't think my husband would be able to do it in the week he'll be there ahead of me...but we got approved for a mortage (which I couldn't believe, now if I can just get the downpayment out of my dad and we'll pay him back when we sell this dump) and we've looked at houses, and when he gets there he'll have it narrowed down to to or three we've lived from the internet, look them over, call me and tell me about them, and then get that in place...so that he can probably do in a week. I'm hoping. (my husband is a genius in many aspect but living in the real world is NOT one of them.)

Thanks for writing me back and the suggestions...thank you so much.

[thesparrowhawk.livejournal.com]

Anytime Hon.. I'm glad I could help..