How Many Dx?

[nomads-quill.livejournal.com]

Ok, so I'm new here. Hello.

My T from ages ago was talking about some things she is doing with new therapists on rotation in her clinic. She is really trying to stress catching this Dx earlier than is standard. It got me to wondering...

D.I.D. was my 5th or 6th Dx. Historically, folks like us go through a lot of Dx before "they" get it right.

She even asked me to write something that she could use in her teaching to help illustrate for new Ts how important it is to see the signs. How my life could have been a bit better-slash-different had the many Ts before her noticed all the signals.

And I guess I am curious as to the responses you guys might give if asked such a question.

I apologize if this is chunky or not clear enough. My head is loose and it's hard to stay on topic just now.

Comments

[pthalo]

I think it's always better for something to be underdiagnosed than overdiagnosed. I do think DID can be created from bad therapy with overzealous therapists and it's a good thing for there to be some caution with diagnosis. That said, if a person really is multiple, it's nice for the therapist to recognise it. I'm 20 and I've been in therapy for most of my life. I was eight when I started. I was drawing pictures of people sharing a body (compulsively. it was one of the only things I was drawing) and I was freely talking about the inner world which I went to. Fast forward a bit, I was a teenager. The therapists knew I was losing time and was dissociating a lot. I heard voices from the time I was pretty young. They've always been there and I had to teach myself how to distinguish my own voice from theirs. My journals at the age of 12 were written by people with different names and different handwritings, sometimes talking to each other and discussing everyday system stuff. And still, I managed to avoid being diagnosed with anything more than PTSD and OCD and EDNOS and also managed to stay in denial myself for quite a while. I still haven't been diagnosed and my current therapist doesn't know very much. But I've finally stopped fighting it and have gotten to know the others and they've gotten to know me.

[melange-fiesta.livejournal.com]

I'm curious... are you saying that you do have a one "true" self, and the others are with you but not the primary person in the system? I only learned about multiples recently, but it seemed to me that at least a few people would be the "main" people (sharing the body the most) but that there was no one true self of those people.

[karma-silenced.livejournal.com]

It depends on the system...

She might not consider herself the one "true" self, but she might be the one who fronts most or even all the time. There need only be one "main".

I front the most in my system... that doesn't make me the "true" person. I have three other hosts but they don't front nearly as much as I do. Sometimes it has to do with your environment and what people around you know/how they'd handle it.

[pthalo]

Yeah, that's pretty much it. :) I don't front all the time, but as far as I am aware I'm fronting most of the time. A little bit less lately than before but then who knows. I remember times when I lived solely inside (the year the body was 10) but was out a little bit. Strangely this didn't clue me into the fact that I was multiple.

Also, since I'm living in Hungary (native speaker of English) there's some limits on language ability. I assume that the people who were fronting more when we first got here learned as I was learning but there are some that haven't either. And when one of the blends up into me when I'm out I start making beginner mistakes again.

[pthalo]

s/I'm living/we're living/.

[pthalo]

I don't know if we have one true self or not. I somewhat doubt it. I know my own history but don't know the others' histories in detail. I'm the main front right now but haven't always been so and there are a few others who are out somewhat regularly. I also doubt that I'm the "original" or whatever that others split off of. I was talking to Jo (someone in my system) the other night because she was babysitting for me and she was able to tell me a few things about some of our origins. I'm still learning about my system.

[sharpsight.livejournal.com]

'I had to teach myself how to distinguish my own voice from theirs.'

*thinks* ...not certain how to phrase this, though the key question is relatively simple (and pretty much representative of almost all of my questions here)...

"How exactly? In the end, what did you find 'worked'? What method?"

*listens curiously/interestedly*

[pthalo]

I got an early start, though I wasn’t thinking actively about it in the beginning. At first, I didn’t know what they were. I thought they were real at first and paid attention to them. I was just a child and assumed that if I was hearing them, I was meant to hear them and all that and took them at face value. Then when I was old enough to know that “normals” don’t hear voices, I started doing the “shut up you’re not real” thing, but first I had to seperate the sound of my own thoughts from the sound of them. I’ve ceased the “shut up you’re not real” thing now that I know they are real. I’ve found “hi” to be a much better conversation starter, even when someone’s freaking me out. And I can still tell me apart from them.

I’m a writer. I write stories and fiction and when you write a lot, you get to know what you sound like. Each writer has their own distinct voice and as a writer, comparing myself to other writers, seeing what their words sounded like compared to what my own sounded like helped. Distinguishing the sound of your voice from people outside the body can help. Reading my own words aloud, feeling their rhythm. There are lots of exercises for writers finding their writing voices that you could probably find in a book on how to write fiction or possibly online that you could try. I can also tell by handwriting which one is me. I can’t look at handwriting and say this is Marissa, this is Lissy, this is Jo, this is Jenny. I can say this is little one, but she’s 3 and writes like it. But I know my writing. If your handwriting is different from the others even in a small way that only you would notice, you can use that to select pieces to read out loud, so that you know you’re reading your own voice.

Of course, this kind of analysis is a bit harder when it’s just with thoughts. Thoughts also happen very quickly, and they’re hard to record. But I do know the kinds of things I tend to think about. And if the thoughts are referring to me as “she” that’s a dead giveaway. I used to hear a narrator like voice from time to time. Tacking on “she said” to whatever I said and sometimes giving snarky commentary. If I’m walking late at night and someone says I’m about to be raped, that’s not me because I’m pretty good at not freaking myself out, it’s Chicken Little. I’ve found talking to her in a soothing voice works much better than saying “shut up you’re freaking me out.” Those were the two main voices I was differentiating myself from as a teenager. When Tobias was talking to me when the body was 12, he’d use the written word, which I could see being “typed” or something on a wall if I stared at it. Only he used that method and I don’t think that way. If you interact with people in an inner world, you get to know them, the kinds of things they think about and talk about. Since I’ve started treating The Little One as an actual person and not a metaphor who just happens to be able to take over the body, I’ve been able to look back in hindsight to explain some times when she was fronting and I was co-conscious with her and also to recognise when she’s talking to me. She talks about three year old stuff in a three year old way. I think about 21 year old stuff in a 21 year old way. I have my own hobbies. If I’m stressed out and feel the impulse to go out rollerblading even if it’s midnight, that’s 110% me. That’s the kind of thing I like to do. I guess I keep track of the things I tend to think about, the things that matte to me. There’s going to be some overlap, but they’ll say things differently than me.

I’m fairly open about my past and about abuse stuff in my journal. Marissa seems to be wavering between “I wish I could talk about it” and “this doesn’t belong outside the body, it’s dangerous.” Lissy’s use of language is less formal than mine. Lydia doesn’t talk, but uses ASL (we learned it when the body was 11).

continued cause I'm long winded.

[pthalo]

I hear screaming sometimes or crying or laughter or just background noise. I’ve also learned to pay attention to my emotions. If I’m feeling happy, then crying noises aren’t me. If I’m feeling depressed/stuck in a rut, then Bad Thoughts are probably me. If I was okay before those thoughts started and nothing triggered them on my end, I need to ask myself if they’re me or not. Generally, if Bad Thoughts are coming from someone else, I’ll feel bad in the way you feel bad when someone on the outside is feeling bad. Empathy.

Also, if someone’s talking to me when I’m fronting, if I listen carefully, they’re talking to me (or to someone), sometimes thinking out loud but generally with some purpose (be it that they’re lonely and want company or they just want someone to talk to or just want to use me as a sounding board. I babble at them too sometimes.)

I guess the biggest part of it is paying attention. Journalling has helped me immensely. Getting to know me and getting to know them.

I don’t always recognise when someone is blended up with me and I do have to consciously think about it sometimes to figure out which one is me. I havent met all of the others and so sometimes I can’t tell who is close to me, but I’m paying attention.

Hi, I’m long winded. (Another cue that it’s me, Pthalo) Thanks for asking this, by the way. I think it did me a lot of good to think about the methodology of it.

[nomads-quill.livejournal.com]

Please don't apologize for the long-windedness. This is helping me immensely. I have never *really* interacted with other multiples. This is intense and amazing for me to see how we all think differently and apply that thought.

So, yeah. Thanks.

[squnq.livejournal.com]

It took me 4 to get diagnosed. I will, however, agree that underdiagnosing something is usually better than overdiagnosing it. IMHO mental health therapy is still a "black art", but I'd rather have too few people accused of being witches than too many, assuming this is the dark ages of therapy, as it were.

[eridanusus.livejournal.com]

I can count the number of therapists I've had on two hands. The one who was actually a psychiatrist was the first one I told about the other people. He sort of went, uh huh, and what do you think of these colours? And changed the subject every time I brought it up. Eventually I started seeing my current one, and TOLD her I had multiple personalities, and then she met them and can't really disagree.

[shatterstorm.livejournal.com]

The first person to recognize us was another multiple who happens to be a therapist. We were looking for help dealing with flashbacks. Our front rarely lost time, but our handwriting was a clear giveaway to anyone who knew how to look. ;) There were also changes in speech patterns and body language when different "moods" were active. It is the sort of thing that isn't too hard to spot if you're aware of the possibility.

Our therapist's viewpoint was to let people come to selves-awareness on their own. Our front was given a sort of "inner child" project to work on - learning to take care of needs and responsibilities as if she was parenting a child. Breakfast, regular exercise and playtime, healthy food, protecting from unhealthy environments, etc... Taking care of the "child" after flashbacks - allowing her to take a few minutes hugging a stuffed animal or someone trusted instead of trying to throttle the emotions. The inside kids started talking with our front, and we began rebuilding our relationships with each other. We told our T that we're a we, not the other way around.

Treating one another kindly and listening has gotten us to a far better space than all the fighting and repressing and control games ever did.

[nomads-quill.livejournal.com]

Wow. My T had the same idea. Our focus in Therapy was to get my day-to-day back under control and increase internal communication. It worked and I began to settle down somewhat.

The problem is that I am still not really aware of "how many" are in the system. Meh. Maybe I have a clue, but even as "front" I am not in the loop so much and am not immediately privy to loads of information.

Anyway...

[shatterstorm.livejournal.com]

Have you tried asking others inside? That's how our old front found out. ;) She got some funny answers from some of the kids though - "bunches" and "I dunno, can I have that cookie now?" were some of the better ones.

She wasn't in the loop much at first, but as we got better being a community things improved dramatically there too. Practice works.

[melange-fiesta.livejournal.com]

"new Ts" -- what does that mean?

[melange-fiesta.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, and what does "new Dx" mean? I am not a multiple, nor am I familiar with the jargon.

[kangetsuhime.livejournal.com]

New therapist new diagnosis. *why* people use these, I am unsure, but that's what they mean.

Dx

[spookshow-girl.livejournal.com]

That's a term I see in medical scripts.

Rx: Prescription
Dx: Diagnosis
Tx: Treatment

I figure that's where usage of the term Dx originates. As for therapist being a T, I do know that in some communities therapist is considered a triggering word, so it's splatted, or abbreviated. That said, it is a long word to type. ;)

--Me

Re: Dx

[nomads-quill.livejournal.com]

Sorry, folks. I am in the medical field and forget sometimes.

As for just using a T for therapist, I picked that up on some message board for DID.

[spookshow-girl.livejournal.com]

Dx is medical jargon.

--Me

[kangetsuhime.livejournal.com]

We've never been diagnosed with DID, or anything even vaguely related. The most any of us has been *officially* diagnosed with is depression. I'm also working on a PTSD diagnosis but I won't get it.

Personally, I think more therapists need to know about non-DID multiplicity. There's material out there on DID, it's the therapist's own fault for not bothering with it. Besides, I'd be suprised if they could remember all of the signs of all of the disorders in the world. The ICD is a big book.

[kasiya-system.livejournal.com]

There is a diagnosis of DID in our file, that I wish wasn't there. We've mainly had therapy/medications for anxiety and depression. Kas pulled us out of therapy with the current therapist because of the DID diagnosis in our file. He brought it up and said that he wanted to know the reason it was in there, so he could determine his own diagnosis. As long as the anxiety remains under control, we probably won't go back.

-Jenilee

Out of Curiousity:

[spookshow-girl.livejournal.com]

What about that bothers you?

--Me

Re: Out of Curiousity:

[kasiya-system.livejournal.com]

Because the focus of the sessions started turning toward this diagnosis as if it were a problem. He was told that it wasn't a problem, but seemed to think that the other issues (depression/anxiety) stemmed from this DID diagnosis. They were not connected. -Jenilee

Re: Out of Curiousity:

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Other people have brought up that they don't want a DID diagnosis in their file for various reasons, including misunderstanding by future doctors if any. Antipsychotic drugs et al.

[spookshow-girl.livejournal.com]

I do not have a diagnosis of DID, and I do not expect to get one without trying, or going through a particularly serious period of dysfunctional in system relations.

What's more, I do not consider it neccessary that a multiple be diagnosed with DID. DID has symptoms which some systems will not present with, or have. In those cases I feel it is an error to diagnose them with DID. It's not a pat validation of the system, as many might treat it, but an indicator that the people are having difficulties in coordinating their efforts.

--Me

[nomads-quill.livejournal.com]

You know, this is a really great point you make.

I guess the big thing is that I was moving molasses-slow through the system of the therapeutic process and I wasn't getting better. I was getting much worse. I was in the biggest crisis of my wee life when I happened to finally get a referral from my doc to try therapy onemoretime.

The speed at which it was noticed by the psych doc and the msw almost alarmed me. But the techniques used to treat me began to work.

And I guess that's my point. I was blatantly switching. And it was the therapeutic approach that my T used specific to DID that stopped the rapid decline and got us talking inside and cooperating.

I guess the bigger question for us all , maybe, is should there be some standardized treatment protocol for DID?

You guys are great, by the way. We've needed this outlet.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

That's what the community's here for and why we feel it's so important to keep an open dialogue. Yay!

I'd like to know what therapeutic approach that was, and whether it could apply to people with MPD, and to non-MPD, non-DID multiples as well as to people with DID. What I'm thinking is, if you could describe it, people could try it at home without having to go to the shrink. We get people in here all the time who have frontrunners trying so hard to communicate with people they know are there but can't reach.

[nomads-quill.livejournal.com]

Well, again, her main goal was to help me with "today issues" and get my system stable. I was a switching mess.

So her focus wasn't at all on "calling them out", i.e. finding out who was who and how many we were. If I switched during a session, she spoke to whomever was out. She didn't worry about taking any sort of role call.

I, personally, think this was a perfect approach, at least for us. It took the focus away from the stigma of the diagnosis a bit and put it on living day to day and system cooperation.

The system cooperation (which was nill at the time) was encouraged by basic meditation. She called it "going inside". Took me forever to figure out what the hell was supposed to be happening, though. Simple, basic meditation and breathing techniques, coupled with my own internal announcement that we should all talk and communicate. I still don't know how or why it worked. And I'm still not "in the loop". But I did get better. Internal communication increased. The crisis settled.

I wish I could be more detailed beyond that, but the truth is that I rarely fronted in T. I am the vehicle, mostly, that gets us from point A to point B. I am more in the loop now than I used to be, but still not the main or privy to what they know. That's sometimes a hard pill to swallow, still.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Sounds like our Francie. Listen, can one of you guys write this up, breathing techniques and all, and make it available as an article on your website, or our website, or something?* There are so many people who come onto this community begging for help with this very issue, and this is whether they've been diagnosed or not. They don't need a diagnosis, they need to communicate.

We have never been able to meditate, but then we've never had much trouble communicating, either. Well, except for some of these damn obsolete transmitters on the Islands -- you want to talk about a mess *mutter mutter* Anyway! What really sounds good about your therapist is that she bypassed the "they're all you" crap, even though officially that's what DID is (as opposed to MPD or non-disordered multiple). It sounds like she just gave you that diagnosis so insurance would pay for your sessions, which is exactly what it's supposed to be for. Would she be interested in this material?:
http://www.karitas.net/blackbirds/layman/
http://www.dreamshore.net/amorpha/
http://www.astraeasweb.net/plural/
http://www.kasiya.homestead.com/

==
*Off and on, we and sethrenn and others have thought about making a little website just to go along with this LJ community. It would have all the things new people are always coming in here asking about that have been discussed many times and it would link to those discussions. I know it is not immediately obvious how to get to the archives and LJ has not made the interface very self-explanatory.

[appadil.livejournal.com]

On the subject of your last point, LJ does give you an interface for that in the form of the Memories section, but I'm pretty sure that only the manager(s) can add memories to a community. I don't know how feasible that option is for here, so...

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

We considered using that. It's a good idea, but I think it's still a little too cumbersome. There are specific LJ styles that allow links to be added at top or side (see the top margin of http://www.livejournal.com/users/ksol1460) but most community members read this thing on their friendslist. When new people come in asking certain questions we're able to point them to the list of websites we gave nomads_quill, and I want to be able to add a webpage to that which will be easy and self-explanatory for new users to navigate.

[appadil.livejournal.com]

Hmm, that does sound like it would work better...

[nomads-quill.livejournal.com]

Still new, here, so I am not sure where you'd like it. But (I still struggle with the editor and the "we" pronouns.) we would be happy to do it. Oy.

The simple version is this: My doc gave me a copy of The Relaxation Response. It is simple meditation geared towards people with heart disease. Get it, jump to the back where it teaches the technique in layman's terms, and apply. Easy, huh?

Not.

My system just would not shut up! You do the breathing and acknowledge the thoughts and feelings and voices that incariably come, and then push them gently to the side. Many times, you will just fall asleep. Not a problem here, for we rarely sleep well. But eventually, you will begin to be able to just listen. Maybe make suggestions about ways to communicate.

Again, I am not in the loop. So I still really don't know why or how it worked so well. Mainly I just found that we cooperated more in the real world. Play time was incorporated. Meals ok'd. That sort of thing.

I don't have a website, though, so just let me know what you'd like and where you'd like me to put it. Also, if others have tried this kind of technique, HELP!

[shatterstorm.livejournal.com]

Several of us already knew how to meditate. Our biggest challenge was to stop trying to control one another.

If you want a proofreader, we're here.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

"Our biggest challenge was to stop trying to control one another."

Ohhh yeah. Us too. It does get easier over time, though.

[shatterstorm.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you found a gem of a T. :) Recognizing that operating system issues are important is something a lot of people miss. It is darn hard to work on other issues when the system's beserk.

It took a long time for a lot of us to learn to share some of the really tightly held stuff with one another. We still don't share everything. Think about it like an outside friend - you can know someone well for years and still learn surprising things about them. Intimacy takes time to grow.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

Heh... our original diagnosis when we were a teenager was OCD. Funnily, we spent several years *trying* to see if we could get diagnosed with MPD, because we thought that was the only way we could get doctors to acknowledge us or understand what was actually going on.

The therapist we talked to at the time was pretty insistient that all of these people represented "the different sides of you," or were symbolic or metaphors, or... just weren't actually separate people, in some way. Which is kinda funny, because it would've been obvious to anyone who tried to find out more about them that they were real. We sometimes wonder if she saw what was going on, but didn't want to diagnose a minor because she was afraid of lawsuits (which were certainly going on at the time).

Of course, it could also have been that she saw we were plural without having MPD, although we were thinking at the time in terms of "diagnosis = validation", like spookshow_girl mentioned above. We just kind of figured we should stuff it all away, though, and not pursue that particular avenue of inquiry any further.

The funny thing was that, years later, when someone thought we should be diagnosed with DID, we immediately asked them not to because we didn't want that on our record. (Well, that and we felt that we didn't fit the disordered criteria.)

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Diagnosed as a multiple? Never. There's no way we'd ever consider telling a member of the Thought Police so-called mental-health professions such a thing. No doctor of any sort has ever seen either of my 'brothers', nor ever will - Kír regards them all as poison-pushing quacks, and Crist-Erui's far too shy and wary to let himself be seen by strangers.

We probably had a passle of different diagnoses in childhood, but it wasn't considered proper then to tell children what labels had been stuck on them. In 1971 the diagnosis was "schizophrenia", but it turned out that that hospital (which ended up getting busted big-time for fraud) was giving kick-backs to shrinks for sticking that Dx on kids whose parents had good insurance and sending them for "treatment" which - oddly enough - always lasted exactly as long as the insurance coverage.

I haven't had any official diagnoses as an adult - what would be the point, when I don't have insurance? In 1998, when my daughter (then in second grade) was having trouble adjusting to the divorce, new school, etc. I went on the school counselor's recommendation to family counseling with her. The counselor decided I was depressed because I sit still, talk softly, don't make much eye contact, and don't use a lot of facial expression - further told me I needed to be on drugs - ha, yeah right. I know when I'm depressed; the symptoms are unmistakeable, and I wasn't depressed then. From my point of view, most people constantly yell, twitch, stare, grimace, wave their arms around, over-inflect their words, inundate their audience in EMOTION like William Shatner playing Hamlet or something - the fact that I don't do this doesn't mean I have "flat affect".

But anyway, that counselor was not a doctor, so her opinion was not an "official diagnosis", nor did she have any business recommending drugs to me, so that was the end of that. I will not take their mind-control drugs - not now, not ever, not negotiable - and if I want either uplifting platitudes or practical techniques for dealing more effectively with people or situations, there are a zillion books available, so I don't see why I would want to pay somebody two bucks a minute to provide them.

As far as I'm concerned, I don't have any "disorders" - and I'm the one who should know, right? - so the APA can just go ahead and shove their Diagnostic and Statistical Manual right back into the aperture from which they originally pulled it.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

From my point of view, most people constantly yell, twitch, stare, grimace, wave their arms around, over-inflect their words, inundate their audience in EMOTION like William Shatner playing Hamlet or something - the fact that I don't do this doesn't mean I have "flat affect".

We used to be very intense about expressing our emotions when we were younger-- from the point of view of allegedly normal people, we apparently came across as yelling, twitching, staring, making faces, over-inflecting and most other things you mentioned. We got hauled in by several teachers for 'making faces at them' during class. We were also told that all of this was "phony" and "overdramatising" and that we were trying to manipulate people instead of expressing any honest emotion we were feeling.

People nowadays tell most of us that we have a 'flat affect'-- I can only figure that in our desire to be perceived as genuine, we completely severed the connection between what we were feeling and what comes out at the front. Has its advantages and disadvantages-- people often, for instance, don't believe we're in pain because our voice doesn't 'sound like' someone who's in pain. On the other hand, it's definitely an upside when people can't 'read' insecurity or fear into our voice the way they used to (sometimes when it wasn't there, but that's beside the point).

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

My main goal in school was to pass unnoticed, or better still to escape, at least in mind. One would think that sitting still and not saying anything would be 'safe behavior' - at least that one would be safe from the teachers thus - but they were constantly yelling at me, banging yardsticks on my desk, etc. because they thought I wasn't paying attention, and one went so far as to drag me from my chair and shake me. *shrugs* What can one say; school is jail for kids, and the "social rules" are pretty-much the same as in any other prison.

By the time I was 16, and with a lot of pressure encouragement from Kír, I'd started speaking up and fighting back, but still without apparent emotion. People find that quite intimidating, which was a good thing under the circumstances, but then in later years I had to learn a different, non-intimidating strategy. So I do the whole "pass for human" thing, which is essentially roleplaying, but using Miss Manners' Guide To Excruciatingly-Correct Behavior instead of the Dungeon Master's Manual.

I don't see any good reason to let people know when I'm in pain - after all, why do they need to know? If they love me, they're just going to be worried; if they don't love me, they've got no reason to care; in either case, there's probably nothing they can do about it. I have no idea whether or not anyone believes me when I do tell them - it seems to me that everyone in this culture dissembles pretty-much all the time, hiding their true thoughts and feelings as best they can while expressing whatever contrived ones they think are most likely to get them what they want, so nobody ever knows what anyone else really thinks.

[shatterstorm.livejournal.com]

We've found that when we're willing to let people around us realize we're in pain that it is a way to recognize we've developed a level of trust toward them. Too many people attack if they think you're weak or injured.

We've had flashbacks in the middle of business meetings and no one outside realized. Body control can be a useful thing.

We did have one oddly clueless coworker who was concerned we might be depressed when we were actually very ill and on longterm care precription painkillers. He just didn't comprehend how being in continual pain would make someone less than chipper. :P

[changelyng14.livejournal.com]

WE figured out what was up not very long after we became educated about what it was. another system came out to us, and we stuck our nose into everything we could find on the subject to understand them better. along the way, after learning what multiplicity IS as opposed to the very little we had heard about it, we were like, 'oh shit, im like that, and like that too.' All i can say to explain why we never caught on, is that you assume that in life, that if a thought happens in your head, that thats YOU thinking, and why would a person ever question that? Ive also read in psycho-lit that 'face-personalities' (like me, apparently) are designed by nature NOT to know or ever figure it out. (and tend to get really fucked up when it does come out)

I (a previous face) did some time in therapy when he was younger, and never heard of mpd or did or anything about it.
im trying to imagine what we might have heard that would have caused us to realise our nature back THEN. but i dunno. despite my opinions on the close-minded nature of psychiatry on this particular subject. Im not sure our person then would have accepted it. our face from back then had no clues. i suspect it was my need-to-know plus the decision from our backseater(s) in the end that led to US to gaining independance.

i dunno though. heres a pretty thing to put at the top of a 'Your patient might be MPD if...' list:
-patient says 'hey! i have mpd.'

thats proally too simple to work though.
*mutter*

-Lovecry