...No, I'm going alone...

[crystalhellion.livejournal.com]

The above statement just doesn't fit anymore, but how am I supposed to tell anyone this without them looking at me like I'm some kind of psychopath? Just as it was about the transsexuality, it's getting harder for me... for us to hide the fact that we're multiple, that I am never truly alone, because I've always got the seven others (well, six and an endless sound of keystrokes from Andrea) with me at all times.

I've got no qualms about being open online, but we're all a bit worried about revealing ourselves to the real world, especially to family. Especially to my grandmother, who at least is deserving of knowing a reason why one day I'm okay, sociable and talkative, and the next I'm on the bleeding edge of flying off the handle about the slightest thing, even though it's not actually *me* feeling either of those things. We're still scared to tell, though, because it could have untold repercussions in real life besides the obvious one of impeding SRS down the line. We might get institutionalized again, and it might well be a breaking point for us. We cannot integrate, after all, so the "treatment" that they would prescribe for my "disease" (which I do not believe it to be at all) would be little more than a waste of time for all involved, and would only worsen us.

What to do here, though? We can't keep ourselves silent, can't keep ourselves a secret anymore. We need to come out for a second time.

What do I do?

(Crossposted to our personal journal, to multiplicity and to silentmultiples.)

Comments

[szczur-system.livejournal.com]

Try with those you trust most, first. The friends and/or family you feel most comfortable with, and is the most *open* to things. And just go from there. We know how you feel, though, it is a *select* few who know about us offline.
The best of luck. ♥

[submissives.livejournal.com]

We have heard they will not grant people "SRS" if they know they are multiple. I dont know how true this is or if it is the same everywhere ....but just thought we should say if it was us in your situation i think we would be very careful who we told...at least until after the surgery was done.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

From what I've heard, you can, but you have to either integrate, or everyone in the system has to be in agreement about the surgery. It does depend somewhat on the doctor.

[crystalhellion.livejournal.com]

That was our original plan, but we're all feeling Melissa's burden here... I mean, hell. We're her secret. It's hard on us as well... when we take over, we have to pretend to be her. It's hard on us, especially those that are nothing like her at all.

There's consensus on the surgery issue, though, all for different reasons. Even Ty's on board.

- Nina

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

"If not requiring integration of alters before gender reassignment surgery is done, at the very least there should be informed consent or consensus of all (known) alters before GRS surgery."

http://www.symposion.com/ijt/ijtc0404.htm
http://www.symposion.com/ijt/hbigda/2001/61_brown.htm

This is what we show people when they ask about that -- this is what our friend Roxanne showed to us when we were concerned about would we have to integrate or say we had in order for Jay to get what he needs.

[zenboiuke.livejournal.com]

My decision to transition was made before I realized we were multiple. Although we have both male & female members, each with varying degrees of discomfort with the body (which atm is a bit of a hodge podge, like someone took the pieces to Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head & mixed them all together :p) everyone pretty much agrees that since I do most of the fronting I get to modify the body to be comfortable for myself. So we're proceeding with the transition. It's like if we all shared a car, I get to pick a model that I like, since I'm the one who gets stuck behind the wheel :p)

This is what has worked for us, but each system is different, and the members will need to communicate and figure out what will work best for them. Basically, the decision of whether or not to transition and if so how, and how far, should be made by the system members, and not a medical professional, lawyer, or anyone else.

Regarding 'coming out', we have told only people we trust. Not necesarily people who will believe us, but people with whom I am close, and from whom I feel it would be unfair (at least for me) to keep such an important part of my life, AND who I know won't freak out an call the authorities or some such nonsense. We have also told people that we might not know well (ie through LJ or on forums such as this) but who are open to and understand the concept of many minds/one body.

My coworkers, family, and doctors do not know, because I do not have close relationships with them. I don't discuss sexual fantasies with them and I don't discuss our pluralism. Some topics are personal treasures, gifted to those people we deem appropriate recipients.

The subject of pluralism is a touchy one. Not one to be ashamed of in any way, but like the prohibition of cannabis in many societies, pluralism is often considered taboo. Just as you wouldn't light up a b0ng while walking down the street, I would exercise caution--for your own safety--when disclosing your pluralism. Think of it as protecting yourselves & others from the ignorant & fearful masses. One by one we can help to educate them, but as a whole, I believe Tommy Lee Jones said it best in Men In Black. "A person is smart; people are dumb panicky dangerous animals."

Good luck!

~Kier

[zenboiuke.livejournal.com]

Your icon is priceless XD

~Kier

[ricktboy.livejournal.com]

We've been more and more open about it, and it's been okay, for us at least...My best friend of almost 10 years is okay with it, and even those who don't neccesarily believe it, "humor" me.

as for SRS, I'm not worrying about it right now, because my PCP knows we're multiple, and she's all, "just tell me who i'm speaking to" she was really excited that she almost got to meet Faith, and she really wants to meet all of us...(well, except me, duh) and she's cool about it, and she'll be the one prescribing HRT, and SRS, so it'll be cool I think.

Babblingly yours,

Rick
Pack Collective

[zenboiuke.livejournal.com]

Just to be curious, is your body FTM? Ours is, and it's always nice to compare notes about doctors, procedures, etc with other T-guys ^_~

~Kier

[ricktboy.livejournal.com]

it is. *smiles* I'm Rick, and while there's been some weirdness lately(we figured out I'm not really the host) it was decided that I'm still the main front, and so the outside's mine to "decorate".

I'm Male, and the body's female...we decided that top surgery isn't going to be as drastic as I originally wanted(the girls like their breasts where they are, and I'm outnumbered...*grin*)

but other than that, we're all pretty much agreed on HRT and bottom surgery...

AIM me if you like, RickTBoy1127
or any of the others...
their lj names are on my userinfo page, and their AIM names are on their userinfo pages...


Rick
Pack Collective

[zenboiuke.livejournal.com]

the outside's mine to "decorate"

I LOVE it XD

We can't IM at work, but we can check LJ (obviously :p)
So usually what we do if we want to chat at work is set up a protected post and just bounce comments back & forth.

Mind if we friend you?

Hello to all of you from all of us!

~Kier

[ricktboy.livejournal.com]

of course you can friend us! like I said, they're all on my userinfo page...

faithlesfate is Faith
magickalmacleod is Tara
lizjustliz is Liz
st_bastard is also mine, but everyone can post in it...

[ricktboy.livejournal.com]

oops! faithlessfate is Faith...
i messed that up a little

[zenboiuke.livejournal.com]

Kewl! Thanks ^_^

I have a few questions, mind if I post a protected entry for you?

~Kier

[ricktboy.livejournal.com]

nope, just tell me where to go

[zenboiuke.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

Here you go... (http://www.livejournal.com/users/zenboiuke/253259.html)

~Kier

[zocchihedron.livejournal.com]

I would love to give you advice, but I am afraid that I can't do it reliably unless I know why you were institutionalized the first time. That will be a determining factor in how you proceed with this new situation.

[crystalhellion.livejournal.com]

suicide attempt of melissa's in jan '03, behavior issues by the original in '90, which can still be held against us because they define us by the body.

[zocchihedron.livejournal.com]

1990? What behavior issues are you referring to? This is also important.

I'll do my best to think of something.