Us & Them

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure how to do this. He's busy now, otherwise I'd be a lot more confident. Or I might not be doing this at all. It would all depend on his mood today.

My name is Amber. I have people living inside of me -- one, in particular. I say this because I'm not sure sometimes if he's a fracture -- a multiple -- or an actual entity. He has his own thoughts, memories, from way before I was born. On Halloween, he had his birthday. His 2,917th birthday. He was born in Assyria, when it was still a thriving empire. He knows too many things, ancient things, to describe in this post.

His name is Auroch, and he is a serial murderer and a rapist. He is incredibly violent, intelligent, charming, witty, and very handsome. He is the most dangerous person I've ever known.

There used to be others, but in the Divide, the War, he killed them all. I feel them stir sometimes, but never enough to wash him away, or come between us.

He has spent years torturing me in my own mind, telling me it is for my own good. Telling me it makes me strong. Telling me he loves me, and that I belong to him. And for all the wrong he does, all the pain, he does keep me safe. He has always protected me and kept me safe, even when I didn't want protection. Even when it meant nearly killing some of my closest friends. He still protected me.

Sometimes we share memories. Sometimes we don't. Right now my head is foggy from my medication (I'm sick, so I'm on Nexium). Perhaps later would be a better time to talk.

I need people who understand us. Who understand me. And he needs to be let out more. Because if I don't let him out, he'll find a way out -- and that has potentially fatal results for anyone who gets in his way.

X-posted to our journal

[angel530.livejournal.com]

Ok, Im using this icon and not signing this because, for those of you that know us, I dont want your comments to be affected by whose asking.

Weve been with our housemates at uni for a while now. Weve spoken to them about a problem were having with the health check we need they know the problems weve had with it and that its because of a few other diagnoses and they were fine with it and really supportive. The only thing they dont know is that were multiple but with the way they reacted about the other problems and the fact that were thinking of getting next years house together, were thinking of telling them. The only thing thats stopping us is wondering whether or not theyll react differently to this.

If they were only housemates it wouldnt be such a problem, but theyre good friends! We spend 90% of the time together, we socialise together, we go out together etc etc.

Plus were getting tired of having to hide it in our home. Any ideas on how to come out to them without almost asking for a bad reaction? Or even whether or not we should!! (and we have read the info in the memories)