Switching Issues - Starting to get resolved. ^^;

[repentence.livejournal.com]

Hey, posting for (nanonyanchan). She suggested it. All of your suggestions about what to do when your system is having trouble keeping people out for more than two seconds really helped us. We think we should combine all the things we heard, since they all would work really well together. One of the ways that we're doing that is by letting different system members make our posts and do daily tasks. I have to hold back all my drama and shit but I guess that's good for me anyways right?

I hope it's okay with everyone if I start posting here and if everyone in Celen (familymembers) starts using multiplicity as a place to work through our stuff. Kiera (nanonyanchan) has a lot of self-hate because she doesn't feel ready to start helping other members of the comm as much as she wants to. Is that okay, too? If we contribute to other posts as we can but don't screw with it past the point of being able to handle it.


Kiera wants to talk:

Personal thanks for all the advice!! ^^; I'm really sorry that we weren't able to reply to everything individually, things got extremely stressful. We went through a lot of discussions and transformations and stuff and finally just a few hours ago (before I went to sleep for the night) we had our first major, stable, really-good-feeling switch.

It was a wonderful experience to go into the back, and not only that, but Niuko (niuko) - he was the one who came out - had a LOT of suggestions on how to do everything from improve the quality of work I produce at my job (actually, he wanted to take over some of it, which I would never complain about! ^^;;), to mental health issues. Even some of his opinions on system issues were made clearer - it's a lot easier when the person talking actually has access to the front!

And of course I ended up feeling a lot better than I ever thought I could, and so I feel a whole heck of a lot better about letting go.

I think the most important thing we're learning is that it's okay to have times when we're cofronting, mixed up, or not very "strong" in our presence - it doesn't have to be full on, and the only reason it ever was had to do with fear of being judged, which was silly. We're with friends now.

Anyway, places to go.. clicking the post button now! Please let us know if you're okay with how we plan to post to the community for the time being. ^^;

Polyamory and Multiplicity.. wasn't one problem enough?! x.x *sobs*

[ex-nanonyan.livejournal.com]

When Jenny of shadowechoes made her post earlier, it really struck a chord with me, and I can't shut up about it anymore.

I'm actually having some issues with the very subject of relationships and polyamory.

You see, it turns out that my mate, who thought they were singular, actually ends up being but one member of a multiple system. I should be happy that the person I'm in love with is living in a situation like me and can actually understand me, but it just scares me to death.

What if one of them wants to have a relationship with someone else?! I'm completely monogamous (as are they, for that matter) and really don't like the idea of sharing my/our body with anyone else, but to have to deal with some nights with my lover being gone (we currently live together, etc.) and knowing they're with someone else really bothers me. It feels like my girlfriend and I are caught in a situation which we never asked for and have no control over.

In Celen, we long ago created a rule that there'd be one relationship for the system at one time, generally speaking. This was way back when things were really confusing and we needed to create emergency measures to handle life itself. It just hasn't been repealed, since changing our laws requires mutual agreement and I certainly do not agree. Right now I'm able to cope with the modification to the rule that it's okay if people from our systems get into relationships with each other, though it does give me a little jealousy. Still, it's within my trust/comfort zone.

How do people deal with this? I mean, I know that my GF would be *bound* to front eventually when with the theoretical external that someone else is with, even if they don't expressly "do" anything with that person. Since they consider cuddling to be okay and not cheating (and I don't see how it is), that would really get under my skin, very fast.

I'm pretty sure I feel bad about it because of my abuse history and desire for security and control and so forth, but I still have no right to want to restrict the freedom of others. Naturally, I can't, but to be really honest I wish wish wish that I could.

How does one cope?

Losing Friends

[littlenephew.livejournal.com]

Hello. Since I am altogether new to LJ, I apologize if I've duplicated this post. I've read many of the community posts, and appreciate the thoughts expressed. Even through drifting in and out, and a general numbness, I've done my best to absorb those contributions.

The issue I'm working on presently is integration. I know I don't fully comprehend it, but I'm resisting the process in fear of losing my only friends. Those within. I know I must reconcile this, but I feel alone enough as it is, and the thought of losing my dearest ones causes me to feel empty, even just thinking about it.

I anyone can offer any insight and experience to helping me understand this, I will be most grateful. Sincerely yours.

Hiya Molly Elizabeth heer

[molly-elizabeth.livejournal.com]

HELLO!!! *Blows kisses* I'm Molly Elizabeth, I'm seven years old, blonde with blue eyes, and I live inside of fayanora. I'm tha only kid in here, no one else is younger than the body but for me, and so it's very very lonesomelike in here wif jus me and a buncha adults. If theyz any other little kids in other systems that would like a frend, then heer I am an I am wanting a frend too!

Adults can be big poopyheads sometimes, right? Alexander speshly... he thinks sadness is weakness and he don't let me cwy when I wanna unless it's "safe."

I like lotza things an you can read my pretty userinfo if you intressed, it's got dancing happy flowers and you can see me write my name and then a courz theres my pretty icons... dis one, a dancing flower, and a pretty hart wif an arrow thru it.

XOXOXO!
Molly!