Multiplicity

*Glomps and snuggles becose of the cute icon ^^;;;*

*Giggles*

hehe

I totaly understand, only got one friend IRL around where I live.... times right now are rather upseting and stressfull.... I rather need thise 'iner friends' right about now

From:

repentence.livejournal.com

Your icon is cute too, you know! Both are. :)

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thank you

and it's not like you HAVE to integrate....

psyciretrest may sugest it but they won't make you =p

From:

stealthdragon.livejournal.com

psyciretrest may sugest it but they won't make you

Also, they physically can't make you. There's no magical way to fiddle with someone elses' mind(s) like that. All of the choices involved belong to you and your brainmates.

- Us

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well they said there drugs that will cut them off and while they do that they will work with you to intigrate

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I can say with authority that it is true.. we were held against our will and drugged. That's why I have problems letting go of front! Heh.. doctors suck. That was hell.

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ick...

get comited by some one?

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By our employer last year. Just once one of the littles came out during work and of course they didn't understand. We were honest when the people at the place were asking their questions and since one of us was the typical suicidal teenager at the time we got committed to a maximum security cell with straps and getting woke up at weird times for injections and so on.

It only lasted the first couple days but for the first week or two we still had to ask for them to unlock the bathroom and they had to watch us because they were afraid we'd drown ourselves in the toilet or something stupid like that.

Got so screwed up from it that we had to go on disability, which of course I am now taking advantage of so I can restore the system to its former glory.

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*pouts and hugs*

This is why I am not honest with my parents.....

Only person that knows everything is a few friends that live like 300 miles~otherside of the world away and my counsler

And only reson he knows is he's got one of those cant tell anyone unless i tell him he can things going on

From:

sethrenn.livejournal.com

Are you still taking the drugs they prescribed for you there? If you are, that could be a major difficulty in trying to get things back to normal.

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antidepresents and moodstablizers are a big help if you are seriusly depressed...

drugs arn't bad.... taking them when you don't need them is bad

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Went off of everything, don't worry. ^^

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400 mg. Lamictal, 20 mg. Celexa, 30 mg. Restoril

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Whoa Wait a minute How can you and your friends even communicete on all that bunk?
Listen Nobodycan make you take the drugs. I know this from a personal recent experience where a plan of Integraton took place by druging the Birthling daily.

Unless you have legitimate health reasons to be on meds than ya should not be at all on that much.

If the drugs are being used as a plan to cut you off from your mates progressively why are you going along with it? Pleez for your own self shake yourself loose from the fog the drugs our keeping you in and re- think this.

You do not have to integrate at alland LOSE your friends but instead have good co conciousness by communicating, and your icons our too cute. Hang in there, dont lose you& Yours Good Luck!

Toni & Elaine

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than again if you want to go ahead and integrate becaus eit feels right in your mind no matter what your heart is saying only you know/

I guess the way this si writen it jsut sounds as if some one or outside force is pressuring you to do something you really do not want to do.
I f I misunderstoodI am sorry . But in a pressurized Integration the more drugged a T can get you the more you may be persauded to do anything your told we was jsut worrying about you
Toni & Elaine

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look them up

there a mood stablizer, an antidepresent, and asleep pill for insominacs...

hehe...

sounds like things i coudl use acutaly XD

true though.... there are drugs that can not only cut you off from your 'iner friends' but down right kill them....

... some times losing parts of you is a good thing, like when there psychodic killers or something, but no... if your happy with being a multiple then you shouldn't be taking drugs for it....

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Note had a friend who had some nasty personalites

2 out of 5 of them where a danger to others.... one being a sicotic killer... and other thought he was the satan...

so he was given drugs to supress and integrate the good ones and 'kill' off thsoe two

From:

sethrenn.livejournal.com

I've never understood why so often the response to people in multiple systems having violent ideations or behaviour is "get rid of them" rather than "let's see what underlying problems they have which are causing them to think/do these things, and if they can be helped."

Maybe it's the perception of people in systems as parts of an original and so the idea is that anyone who does act out is an unredeemable "bad part."

A couple of convicted criminals have tried to use multiplicity as a form of insanity defense. This doesn't work for murder, and a lot of them (like Kenneth Bianchi) were judged, probably rightly, to be faking it. I've heard of it working for things like theft and shoplifting, but nowadays the courts tend to reflexively throw it out.

We have someone in-system who was, once, several years back, dead-set on wanting to kill a specific person. And I don't doubt he could have done it, if he'd had enough opportunities. But there was more to him than this and we didn't want to hurt him and the rest of the system by taking a drug that would destroy all communication. There's no drug that will just target the ones you don't like and save all the ones you do. I don't know what drug your friend was given but a lot of doctors nowadays will just tell you that you're integrated if you can't hear from any of the others anymore. Of course they shouldn't be allowed to behave violently, but even Texas doesn't hand out the death penalty that liberally.

He turned out in the end not to be any sort of omgpureevil but actually a very complex person, with hangups like anyone else. He's changed in many ways since getting over his fixation on that. He's got a lot of good qualities, even if he denies them at times. Sometimes you hear about things happening in more MPD-like systems with the "scary persecutor alters" (although he was never quite that) actually turning out to be strong-willed people trying to express themselves, who have a lot of qualities that can benefit the whole group, and end up becoming helpful to it in the end.

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..... trust me ... from what i've seen of him he wasn't some one that could be helped......

If he was a single person he would just get locked up in some institue for the rest of his life.....

getting rid of him made a heck of a lot more sence than tring to intigrate or help him in his case....

normaly i would think such is a bad thing... but I knew him a little.... and hurd a lot from others about him.... he was one seriously fucked up guy that was delt with acordidly

From:

draegonhawke.livejournal.com

[Khor]

Expedience.

You can try to redeem everyone and it's nice to think you can, but you get to a level of authority when it's not that person's job to redeem them, it's their job to fix the problem. So let the 'system members' reign in the troublemaker, and let them get help specifically to do that when it's needed, but somewhere along the line there's a man whose job it is to pull the trigger.

From:

draegonhawke.livejournal.com

...and I'm pretty sure that by saying that he's not saying that it happens exactly as often as it should or whatever, but Khor is rather averse to making concessions within his point. <`´<

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Hi My Name is Elaine and I am only 17 but I gotta tell you I have neve rknown of a psychotic killer that was multiple unless it was in a movie or fiction book. the Multilles I know would never hurt a flea
Thnx,Elaine

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As stated above my friend's was...

well... not technicaly....

not a killer if you haven't killed anyone... and to everyones best knowlage he nevere did.... but not for a lack of tring....

but he deffently tried to kill a few people....

the other bad one didn't try and kill people so much as scare the fuck out of them or beat them to a pulp if they pissed him off...

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Ok I'm sorry I was wrong but I thought like for example we in the gang with the adults have a outside person we think of killing if we had the chance all the time but because of our inner moral code we would not allow the 3 people that want him dead to hurt him cause more than anything its just wrong .

Like wishing and thinking about it some say in the Biblical sense make you a doer of the deed you were thinking, but we think all people think about it sometimes and it does not make us that bad or bad enough to be gotten rid of, even mixed up with drugs which is another way causeit happened to us that way ....its a slowr daeth but never the less a death

Hey just wondering also are you from New York, New York or Brooklyn? I wondered cause of your accent in spelling , cause we have one who types like she sounds from the South and you type like New York a little ?
Thnx Peace Elaine & Serinna .

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i think the doctors where right to do that.... but i can see why you might beleave it was wrong...

And my friend was from Bosten... some times i fall into taht accent becose of him....

... lol.... i kinda acidently assimilate accents from time to time.....

he whent home to see the famley and came back with a heavy acent for a while, and i had been listening to a boston comidean for a week..... lol... my accent got so bad people where asking if I was from bosten...

hehe So I wouldn't be suprized if i did it in text format aswell as vocal

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I should warn that for the longest time I was anti-integration.. now I simply see it as another way of doing things, and in fact, integration and non-integration can exist within the same system. Nonetheless, I generally suggest thinking about such things deeply.

I guess I'm concerned because of that. With the way you wrote what you did, I tend to worry.

Two questions:

1. Why would you be set on doing something that you don't fully comprehend? Shouldn't you be absolutely sure about it and know all about it first?

2. Why are you planning on integrating in the first place? You said a lot about why you do not want to integrate, but nowhere do you say why you do want to integrate. I know this is a long shot, but is someone or something pressuring you to?

I hope that I can help you understand anything you want to know. I'm glad to help, I'm just a little worried too. :)

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Your reply is provoking many thoughts. But none of them answer your question. I know this: my sense of heart makes me feel good, and my sense of mind makes me feel bad. I struggle with my sense of mind, a tug of war, but my sense of heart is warm, and secure, and joyous. Integration somehow seems to be all sense of mind, which is contrary to what I think my essence is. I don't know how they can coexist. So the only someone pressuring me is myself, my sense of mind. I think it's what is necessary to be better. So, I expect you to confound me with another question I can't answer, but end up answering anyway. : ) Thank you.

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You're welcome! I'm glad I listened to *my* heart and wrote something that I thought would help you instead of what my mind told *me*. In this case my mind told me that I was being rude by assuming you weren't completely sure. ^^;;;

Anyway, I think it would help everyone reading this post a lot if you wrote a little bit about your system. Who's in it? What are the problems that you have with those things coexisting? If your mind has an explanation for it, then it's an issue that people in the community (maybe even me ^^;) can help with. If your mind *doesn't* have an explanation, but just says it's wrong and stuff, then the issue is probably rooted in fear.

I think the rule is: Try to make something work if you've been gifted with it, and only make it go away if it's the right thing to do or the only thing to do.

By the way, I'm going to go have a bite to eat, but I'll be online.. if you want to you can IM me or email me, the information in my Livejournal profile is accurate. ^^

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And being new, I don't want to hog this one! But if you force me to describe mine, here goes. I write fiction, and lose myself in it. I explore in it. And I discover myself there. I'm home throughout the day, and dread going out. So I write myself out. I play guitar, and lose myself in that too. They're both sort of the same zone. I think too much I guess, especially after what I wrote before, but I contradict myself very easily, so I never have to be afraid of what I say. : )

Actually, my doctor tells me not to worry about integration, but make it conversation. I do anyway though. Like many of you maybe, I still hide from the ghosts that find a way to creep into my mind. The pictures flicker past like disconnected frames of an old movie, sometimes black and white, sometimes color, sometimes silent, others roaring in my ears.

Geeez! Alright, that's it. I posted an excerpt of my fiction, and I'm my worse critic (actually it's Paige) so you don't need to be reluctant to see how bad it is. I'll wait a few days to fill the airways again. And by the way, thanks for the glomps and snuggles. : )

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So your fiction is actually an embellished form of the truth? That's truly awesome. I used to drastically overstate my truth even in daily life but eventually I decided to reduce it down. I made sure it didn't go away completely, because you're right, it does help a person explore themselves. Now I have a job in advertising because I make everything sound more interesting and dramatic than it is. *laughs ^^;*

The ghosts.. yeah, I think I know what you mean there. Memories? I have really bad ones. I used to think they were fake things that were just images I saw but it got scary when I realized they were real. I still don't believe too much in them, but I still try not to pay them too much attention cause it still bothers me to focus on them.

I think your writing is pretty good. :) And I'd still absolutely love to talk to you more because I think I could help a lot or just be someone to talk to. Please think about it, okay? I'm almost always online, as I spend my days at home as well. ^^;

Thank you for talking as much as you did, though.

From:

shatterstorm.livejournal.com

Conversation sounds okay - it'll help you all to know one another better. Instead of losing our people, we ended up closer and happier than before we would talk.

If it is any consolation, over time the old movies become easier to be around.

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No, we were just thinking your fiction it sounds like a poem we wrote the images you gave of a crackling faded picture's, black and white and sharp color picture or what not and silent stills, sounds real familiar. I think we may all experience things in much the same way. Check in my journal if ya want look for a poem a little way back called "Crashing Sounds" Thnx Elaine

From:

ksol1460.livejournal.com

The thing you have to ask yourself, is this something that you and your friends want, or that you are being talked into? What do they say about it?

Also, psychs define integration different ways; it used to be "everybody becomes one", and for many doctors it still is. However, some think of integration simply as the ability to talk to each other; in-house communication, which is what your doctor seems to be saying. But is that really what he's saying?

I would also question this: is he telling you that it's pathological to "lose yourself" in your creative expression?

From:

molly-elizabeth.livejournal.com

If you don' wanna integrate, then don't do it. Them stinky shrinkies don't know a squat from a poo in the grass.

Asides, Alexander says integration never works anyway. It's our theery that all peeple are multiples at least a little as kids, usually not much though. Multiples like us iz just got it stronger is all. I meen, whatz an imajinary frend as a child but a person inside ya that onlee yoo can see?

XOXOXO!
Molly!

PS = Imatayt tha happy dansin flowah. 8:-)

From:

sethrenn.livejournal.com

If you do not feel comfortable integrating, no one has any business telling you that you have to do so. Many multiples have chosen not to integrate, and instead found ways to live and work together as a cooperative group. Even some therapists acknowledge that integration isn't the best idea for every system. Dr. David Caul, past president of the ISSD and therapist for Billy Milligan, said that "It seems to me that after treatment you want a functional unit, be it a corporation, a partnership, or a one-owner business." Even Dr. Frank Putnam has gone on record as saying that, with systems in disorder, "It is a mistake to make integration the focus of therapy. Treatment should be aimed at replacing maladaptive behaviors and responses with more appropriate forms of coping."

You are not the first to be wary of integration because you fear losing your friends. Did you know that Sybil (her real name was Shirley Mason, and there were a lot of aspects of her life that weren't mentioned in the book at all) didn't stay integrated? According to people who knew her, she let the others come back because she felt lonely without them. Billy Milligan didn't stay integrated either-- his group is still around today.

You might want to read this article (http://www.astraeasweb.net/plural/integrate.html), on the subject of integration. There is also some interesting info about integration here: Layman's Guide to Multiplicity (http://www.karitas.net/blackbirds/layman).

Again, integration is not a requirement for anybody. It is just an option.

From:

wingedwolf-2004.livejournal.com

I added you to our lj, if you ever want to talk and stuff ^___^

From:

zamisista.livejournal.com

Hi there
My therapist told me that the goal was for us all "to become a river". My little ones freaked and said they didn't want to drown. So I told her no river, but we did want to be more in harmony. Anyway, for now I am keeping an open mind.

We did a lot of trauma work for our 7 year old (LittleJ) and teen (JD) to stop feeling murderous, self hating and scared. Then when they felt better about themselves, they went inside into our soulscape world. I don't know if that means we are half integrated or something, because they don't take sole charge anymore, but they give me their powers and feelings sometimes so I act like them but I am still in front. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone. I feel them inside but we don't really have conversations any more. Anyway, we are feeling a lot of peace inside and our heart and minds are mostly in harmony for now, so that's enough for me.

I am asking the Great Spirit Mother to guide our therapy and let us know whether integration or copresence or any other way is the healthiest way for us. Rather than prejudging the outcome, I find it easier to take it a day at a time and see what unfolds.
Wishing you every blessing in your journey.
BigJ

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I've read your thoughts several times, and they have helped me feel more peaceful. It is still difficult for me to be so open as you, and so many others. I'm mostly up front, but often Alice finds me and I fade back for a little while. It's sort of like leap-frog, but in slow motion.

Does anyone else feel that, even when you're up front, you're still back, still behind the glass? For me it's like a big window, and I can fade way back, and become so tiny and distant, but still see and hear those on the other side of the glass. Or I can move right up to it, and be so close, with the glass so transparent, that I'm always still back a little. Does anyone else feel that way?

Alice and Lisa talk, and laugh, and counsel one another, but only Alice talks to me. So both Lisa and I protect Alice. I protect her from me, as much as anything else. But anyway, so much thanks to all who have taken their time, and sent me some of it. Although small, my thanks is the only gift I have to send in return. I'm learning to learn. : ) Lee

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Oh heck yeah I always feeel that way and I am out front most of the time like 75%percent of the time but I always feel like I am behind something ...not neccessarily someone although it could be someone who doesnt want to front but is in the way or stuck in what our old T called revolving door what we call Archie and Meathead syndrome or getting stuck . if ya ever see "All in the family" check out nick at Nite Meathead the son in law Micjheal is called meathead and Archie run towards the kitchen to living room door nd both try to sqweeze through at the same time and both consequantly get stuck.

Spo to answer your question yeah nothing spookey or smoke an mirors but a person or spacial thing is inbetween us and the outermost front all the time .Thnx Elaime

From:

ksol1460.livejournal.com

*falls over laughing* Oh my god, if I had a nickel for every time this happened to two (or more) of us...

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