Jun. 29th, 2005

[identity profile] shandra.livejournal.com
This is probably beating a dead horse a little but I don't really like to see people feel their kids are being negated by a discussion about Lilspeak.

So I just wanted to distinguish a bit between bad spelling/grammar and Lilspeak, apart from the rant. And say why we decided to discourage our kids from learning or using it.

Children acquire language in a fairly specific pattern. This article from the National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders shows some of them. People who have worked in special ed (I did, although not at a very high level) know that quite often it's possible to identify a physical or neurological learning difficulty simply by looking at kids' written mistakes. Mistakes that transpose (flip) letters are one kind, mistakes that get the wrong sounds are another kind, etc. Not all spelling mistakes have a reason - that's why you get *really weird* spellings sometimes, that aren't phonetic - but that in itself demonstrates a clear stage that the child is at.

Why Lilspeak is controversial is that often the way it is written on the 'net doesn't follow the rules of language acquisition. It's not just a case of delayed development - someone in a multiple system writing like they're 5 when they're 7 - it's that the errors common in Lilspeak are not commonly made child grammatical errors. Also, as people have noted, quite often the errors are superficial - phonetic spelling, for example - while the underlying verb/tense/clause construction is fine (and quite advanced).

Now the reasons for this could be a zillion - overlapping adult consciousnesses, absorbing social/grammar/spelling rules on the net (kids are good at this - in fact that's how they absorb language), whatever. In a way Lilspeak is more like a pidgin language - a strange hybrid between how children "sound" inside and the adults hearing it. Functionally kids who use it have learned a new language.

But why it can be controversial is that anyone that is aware of how kids acquire language will not perceive Lilspeak as a child language. It may make them more suspicious and less accepting of system kids. It may in rare cases open a system child who /is/ trying to communicate to ridicule or skepticism that isn't necessary. And as a group concern (which I don't worry about too much, but it is there) it can make the typing look "faked" and "not really a kid" to anyone who's trying to prove that for whatever reason.

You could say to your average person Lilspeak probably looks the same as actual poor spelling, but I myself think anyone sensitive to language patterns will pick up on the bad-spelling-but-complex-sentences dissonance, on some level. And we have generally found that if people feel something is 'off' they get closed-minded pretty fast.

As long as one's system kids only talk to other multiple systems' kids, it won't be an issue if that's the dialect they choose to acquire and learn - so no harm, no foul in that sense. But if one's looking at a broader audience for system kids to communicate with, it may cause problems.

I don't think being aware of this is elite or snobby. I don't even think it means "down with Lilspeak!" Neither does it mean "down with bad spelling!"

I'm just saying, sometimes the Lilspeak hides the realness of the child rather than communicating that reality. And hopefully that information can be useful to people in making their own decisions about it.
[identity profile] wolfcubbie.livejournal.com
Has anyone on this community offered help to the littles, or ASKED them questions, concerning the way they talk? I mean, I've been reading the posts here, and decided to make a journal so I could comment on them.

It really bothers me that people are getting so frustrated, uncomfortable, and generally pissed off at the littles' posts. First, let me say, why can't the littles post too? they have something to say like everyone else. And I noticed, they have sense enough(just like I did when I was little)to know when to post in their personal journal, and when to post in the communities, just need some help getting their thoughts across...

WHY WON'T ANYONE OFFER THEM THE HELP THAT YOU PEOPLE SEEM TO THINK THEY NEED?

yeah, I know sometimes lilspeak is fake, I know that. But, sometimes it's not. and no one else seems to know the difference.

I do. I'm gonna make a new community. I'm gonna ask Rick to help(because he's out more than me) like he helped me spell and LEARN TO SPELL when I was a little kid. I'm gonna make a community for littles that are frustrated at bigs not taking them seriously. For littles that want to be heard, but can't seem to get their thoughts across right. For littles who want help spelling better, and talking better on the internet. I'll let you know the name when I do it.

cubbie
Pack Collective
[identity profile] wolfcubbie.livejournal.com
here it is.

[livejournal.com profile] kids_inside

anyone is allowed to join, all littles, and bigs if they want to help.

cubbie
Pack Collective
ext_5237: (multiple)
[identity profile] chorus-of-chaos.livejournal.com
regarding the whole lilspeak brouhahaha etc going on...

Little speak has gotten on my nerves sometimes. Sara (one of my littles) and I have gone round and round about how I have trouble reading her handwriting and her spelling is atrocious (though as I get older mine is not as good as it used to be) but I'm not flat out HATEFUL to her about it, nor do I deny she is real because of it. I just ask her to try and do better. I've bought books to help her. I don't make her feel as though her presence, comments or input are unwelcome because it's not on the same level as mine.

It bothers me that the impression she has gotten (and I as well) that this community is that way however. I can't always be there to proof read and edit her postings...sometimes she wants to say what she wants to say without interference...hell, I'm not even sure what she types would be labeled the "lilspeak" as it doesn't look like what you demonstrated...but she now feels that any typos, mispellings or simple sentences will be made fun of or attacked.

We'd pretty much not said anything in response to the "I am decreeing that people who use lilspeak are fake" post, figuring on just lurking and see what happened, but it's really been upsetting. The small support group we were in via email shut down recently because a couple of members had passed away and others were in flux with thier lives and the list just wasn't active enough...so we came here hoping to have a place to participate. Now half my system feels like anything they say will be mocked, slammed or made fun of, no matter that they try very hard to write and spell accurately.

The whole message about the lilspeak issue could have been written in a way that was not hostile, all it takes is thinking about what you are saying and try to get your point across without alienating a large part of the audience. It could have been written in a way to encourage people to get thier littles to work on thier skills, rather than to make them fear being made fun or someone being rude to them if they even try. I'm not talking about the coddling and all that which I've heard of going on to some really ridiculous levels on some support lists, like not typing in certain colors because  Oh My GOD that triggers someone...I'm just talking about the simple act of trying to communicate in a manner that isn't hostile, exclusionary and intimidating.

I don't particularly want to be on a group where it's all lilspeak as it can be VERY annoying, but I was hoping for a place where my littles could feel safe to express something once in a while if they needed to and it REALLY bothers me that of all things, the thing to pick about is thier skills or lack of them in spelling and typing. It sucks that the vast majority of the world isn't safe for them to express themselves because people don't get it, then in the one place where they people shouldn't freak out because a post comes from my username and my writing style and spelling are different and I sign with a different name, this is going to be an issue. What's the point of having a multiplicity community if you have HIDE the differences in your system and half your system is afraid to post?
[identity profile] niteofsyn.livejournal.com
My name is Nighthawk, from the Nighthawk System. I am not the front runner, but one of the 3 main residents: Myself, Synthesis, and Chris. Chris, I know has posted in this community before, so I do hope my post will be welcome here as his was.

This System, in which I am a resident, has recently had some trouble as of late. I have done some things I should not have, as well as things that I could not do, due to the fact that I did not want to see the consequences. I lied to myself and wanted, at one point, to end my own life. In the Cut is the same post which I placed in Chris's LiveJournal earlier this evening. Read it if you choose. Thank you for your time.

My earlier post )
[identity profile] retinalscan.livejournal.com
I am not DID but have recently met someone who is. She didn't tell me this I sort of figured it out from her artwork and her behavior. Of course I could be wrong but for the purposes of this post let's just assume I'm right and she does have DID.

So I met this girl through an online personals page. After talking with her online and meeting with her I felt an incredibly strong connection, unlike any I've felt before in my life, ever. We have so many things in common, appreciate the same sorts of things, I find her incredibly witty, and she's just straight up brilliant. So we talked for hours online and I met her a second time as well. We really seemed to just enjoy each other's presence whether talking online or hanging out. The second time we chilled together she started showing me these brochures for vacation spots and she said she had a friend who was coming into town sometime this summer, basically inferring that she was going to go to one of these vacation spots with her friend. However, she kept on talking about it with me as if we were to go, her and I. She even asked me what I would like to do in particular. I found it a little strange but I just went along with it, just figuring that she wanted to make this proposition of taking a vacation with me but felt awkward doing so it being our second time hanging out.

We continued talking online a lot and it seemed all was going well until I started to drop hints to her about how I felt. She basically ignored those hints and I was taken aback by this. So I posted to this anonymous forum on the same site that hosted the personals through which we met. I described how I felt about her and how much I wanted to be with her. Also, since I was so sure of our connection and that the feeling was mutual I started to give her stronger hints online about how I felt (and text messages and phone messages!). Now I know this sounds like I'm a crazy stalker person but I can assure you this is not the case. This situation is wholly unique in my life, the feeling of this connection between her and I.

So, back to this anonymous forum. I got a single response to the post I put up about her, but not from her email address. I put both of our initials in the post and some other hints as well so I was pretty sure it was her responding to me under a different email. I also started to see posts that looked like they could have been written by her on this same anonymous forum. When I confronted her about this she totally rejected me. I was crushed! I just didn't get it... I knew something else must have been going on. It was like we were communicating on this anonymous forum being completely open about our feelings for each other but when it came time to confirm those feelings with her directly she would totally shut me out. Needless to say this was driving me crazy, questioning my own sanity, how could all these things going on be strange 'coincidences' (there were many others outside of the forum too). At this point we've completely stopped talking through AIM or on the phone and only communicate through this anonymous forum. Now I know it's her because she has replied on the forum to very detailed posts (one even describing that experience of looking at the vacation spots together) I have put up. Also, when she posts to the board, she usually puts more than enough "coincidences" in her post so that I know it's her. But, of course, this is driving me crazy! I just want to see her...

So, my question to you folks is, does this sound familiar at all? Would this situation make sense with a DID person? How should I approach this? It's tearing me apart because I know it's her on this anonymous forum, she posts constantly, she also stalks me! (I won't get into that). So why would she do all this and still not be able to communicate with me directly? If anyone has had a similar situation I would appreciate hearing it. I feel so very lost. =(

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