Confusing situation

[retinalscan.livejournal.com]

I am not DID but have recently met someone who is. She didn't tell me this I sort of figured it out from her artwork and her behavior. Of course I could be wrong but for the purposes of this post let's just assume I'm right and she does have DID.

So I met this girl through an online personals page. After talking with her online and meeting with her I felt an incredibly strong connection, unlike any I've felt before in my life, ever. We have so many things in common, appreciate the same sorts of things, I find her incredibly witty, and she's just straight up brilliant. So we talked for hours online and I met her a second time as well. We really seemed to just enjoy each other's presence whether talking online or hanging out. The second time we chilled together she started showing me these brochures for vacation spots and she said she had a friend who was coming into town sometime this summer, basically inferring that she was going to go to one of these vacation spots with her friend. However, she kept on talking about it with me as if we were to go, her and I. She even asked me what I would like to do in particular. I found it a little strange but I just went along with it, just figuring that she wanted to make this proposition of taking a vacation with me but felt awkward doing so it being our second time hanging out.

We continued talking online a lot and it seemed all was going well until I started to drop hints to her about how I felt. She basically ignored those hints and I was taken aback by this. So I posted to this anonymous forum on the same site that hosted the personals through which we met. I described how I felt about her and how much I wanted to be with her. Also, since I was so sure of our connection and that the feeling was mutual I started to give her stronger hints online about how I felt (and text messages and phone messages!). Now I know this sounds like I'm a crazy stalker person but I can assure you this is not the case. This situation is wholly unique in my life, the feeling of this connection between her and I.

So, back to this anonymous forum. I got a single response to the post I put up about her, but not from her email address. I put both of our initials in the post and some other hints as well so I was pretty sure it was her responding to me under a different email. I also started to see posts that looked like they could have been written by her on this same anonymous forum. When I confronted her about this she totally rejected me. I was crushed! I just didn't get it... I knew something else must have been going on. It was like we were communicating on this anonymous forum being completely open about our feelings for each other but when it came time to confirm those feelings with her directly she would totally shut me out. Needless to say this was driving me crazy, questioning my own sanity, how could all these things going on be strange 'coincidences' (there were many others outside of the forum too). At this point we've completely stopped talking through AIM or on the phone and only communicate through this anonymous forum. Now I know it's her because she has replied on the forum to very detailed posts (one even describing that experience of looking at the vacation spots together) I have put up. Also, when she posts to the board, she usually puts more than enough "coincidences" in her post so that I know it's her. But, of course, this is driving me crazy! I just want to see her...

So, my question to you folks is, does this sound familiar at all? Would this situation make sense with a DID person? How should I approach this? It's tearing me apart because I know it's her on this anonymous forum, she posts constantly, she also stalks me! (I won't get into that). So why would she do all this and still not be able to communicate with me directly? If anyone has had a similar situation I would appreciate hearing it. I feel so very lost. =(

Comments

[linnai.livejournal.com]

This doesn't sound like a situation unique to the multiple experience. It could just as easily be someone who has hang ups about the possibility of really getting involved with you.

Maybe you moved too fast, or something made her uncomfortable. Not necessarily you, but a lot of people who initially think hooking up with someone online is good, have second thoughts when it happens.

Maybe she has commitment issues. Maybe you've misread each other.

Seems like maybe you need to try and just... talk to her...

Besides that, if she were multiple, and she wanted you to know about it, something makes me think she'd just tell you.

Thanks for the comments

[(Anonymous)]

I have tried just talking to her but that's the thing, she can't talk to me directly she has to keep the feelings communicated anonymously. And she stalks me. She puts a lot of time and effort into it to. Maybe she doesn't know she's doing this? I don't know I'm so confused. However I'm pretty sure about her having DID, whether she would wants me to know or not, it's pretty obvious (her artwork alone would speak as much but there's much more that lines up).

Re: Thanks for the comments

[linnai.livejournal.com]

I was just saying you aren't doing ANYONE any favors by making assumptions or conclusions. Even if they're right, you could stand to really piss off or hurt her.

Maybe she doesn't know she's doing it. Maybe you should ask her about that. Maybe you should ask whoever it is you're talking to "anon" about it.

It also might be a good idea to just cool it at that forum for awhile. Let her know, to her face, or however you communicate with her that you're confused and aren't sure if she's interested and you're cooling it for awhile.

[szczur-system.livejournal.com]

It's possible that she's just messing with you.

[grey-reverie.livejournal.com]

mm, before coming out and telling everyone on lj we were multiple, c and i actually did our best to hide it ^^; it was something so personal that i just couldnt tell anyone about; not even the people closest to me... i wanted to wait until id been with someone for a long time and REALLY trusted them before coming out about it.. so if she *is* plural, maybe shes thinking along the same lines i used to..

but then, it could be shes just got committal issues..

::shrugs:: i just know that assumptions are rarely right, and there could be dozens of different reasons she does the things she does..

-luca + cody

[redrainstorm.livejournal.com]

I'm not really sure how this lead you to believe she's DID...
It just sounds like she might have issues with relationships, maybe struggles with relating to people...

*sigh*

[(Anonymous)]

I didn't say "this leads me to believe she's DID." I already know she is for reasons other than what's been described. Anywho, sounds like she had some other issues as well. Thanks for the feedback.

Re: *sigh*

[redrainstorm.livejournal.com]

Ah ok. Well : "So, my question to you folks is, does this sound familiar at all? Would this situation make sense with a DID person?" It just sounds familiar for a person who has relationship issues (whether singleton or someone in a system). It would make sense with any type of person with a problem with committing. :)
Maybe if she's posting on this forum say again how you feel. Mention how you are wondering why this person would do this etc. Maybe she likes being able to be anonymous about it all and somehow got "scared" along the way of falling for someone?

[shandra.livejournal.com]

Bluntly - I think that you might want to watch out for that "wonderful, special connection" thing. People who are going through crisis and dealing with pain (multiple or singletype) can have an awesome, thrilling glow and a special energy and can connect *whoosh* with you.

But that doesn't make 'em any easier to live with in the long run. Remember that even if she is a they, how they treat you collectively right now is the best prediction of how they will treat you in the future.

You may not want to continue to invite that kind of drama into you life, but to experience the connection for what it was and move on.

[spookshow-girl.livejournal.com]

What do you define as making sense, in this context?

--Me/Us