Hi, i'm new here...

[rusted-love.livejournal.com]

Hello.

I guess i should start out by saying i'm 18, female, and very unsure of my multiplicity.

I've read the "positively plural" FAQ, and i don't know if this whole community is opposed to the categorization of DID/MPD or not, but i do consider myself to have DID. For the sake of clarity, i wish not to differentiate between multiplicity and DID, so please just bear with me. I'm not here to argue the basis of a disorder, nor by using the word disorder am i claiming a victum status or "disembracing" any of this.

I've just recently began to seriously consider the fact that i may have DID. It's been in the back of my mind for years now, but through recent therapy, it's come much closer to the front. Parts of me are in great denial that i have DID, and other parts are beginning to accept and embrace this. I don't know what to think, because this is all so new and i don't feel that i have a way of communicating with my inner parts. Through therapy, i was able to communicate with a little girl in me, giving her a "safe place" to go to, and i believe she surfaced in the session. But this is my problem... i can never be sure of a "switch", and can never be sure of my own identity... i don't know who the "real/original" me is, or any of us for that matter. In short, i don't know who i am, or who anybody in me is. I guess i hear voices, although i've just recently been able to admit this, because my whole life i've thought it was normal. But when i have dialogues going on in my head, i don't know who is who, and whenever i try to communicate with different parts i don't really get anything back. In other words, i'll talk to them, but i can't get them to talk back, although they do make short responses when i'm not trying to directly communicate with them, and i'm just trying to think my own thoughts. For instance, i'll be driving down the road, going through what i'd call monologues in my head, when someone else will pipe in with their opinion. But i don't know who that person is, and i can't establish a real conversation, just little statements here and there.

Do any of you have suggestions on how to further communicate with those inside of me? I'd love to get to know them, but i have the feeling they'd rather me not.

This is all very confusing to me, and i hope that someone here can relate to this, even though what i have describes is far from articulate. I just want a way to get to know the others inside me, and i don't know how to do that. I also want to know who i am, because even as i type this, i don't know if i'm an alter or "the real thing". I do know that when i typed in i'm 18, it felt wrong... like i'm somehwhat younger. But i don't know if this is a younger part of me, or if i'm just a normal teenager feeling insecure about my maturity.

Sometimes i wish there was an instruction manual to being a multiple, and then the denial part of me comes in and says i wouldn't even *have* these questions if i were truly a multiple. What do you all think?

I think i had a few more quesitons about this, but they've slipped my mind for the time being, and i fear this post has been long enough already. I hope to get some responses, and thank you all so much for taking time to read this.

- Katelyn, or whoever this may be.

humor

[20splinters.livejournal.com]

We may get flamed for this, but we find it funny.

Before regaining internet access, the significant other's system and ours had been seeking a local support group for multiples to get advice from. We never found one, but we started wondering what you would do for name tags if such a group did exist. The SO made a physical mock up, and we've drawn it out. See icon.