Gina Delta here

[chainsaw-hime.livejournal.com]

I just came to a few realizations about this new person that was formerly known to us as Logic. A few weeks ago, I got several missing memories of my past back... Logic got much more. It got a sense of self that it seemed to lack before. I think that maybe it integrated with something from my past.

I'm worried that maybe Not-Logic (it's not quite the same person that Logic was, but it hasn't decided upon a name for itself yet) might want to become the front... Or worse, might try to absorb me or Tarnish or both of us.

I know that one of our most primal fears is losing control of ourself... An ironic fear considering that we're multiple, but... I don't know how to gauge this new person's reactions. Logic was much a servant, but I can't tell if this new person has its own agenda.

I'm scared.

Comments

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

I know that one of our most primal fears is losing control of ourself... An ironic fear considering that we're multiple, but... I don't know how to gauge this new person's reactions. Logic was much a servant, but I can't tell if this new person has its own agenda.

If you treat a new person like a threat, they'll notice you're afraid of them and respond differently than if you don't treat them as threatening-- someone who's thought of as evil may come to think that they really are intrinsically evil, or have no choice but to be evil.

Losing control of yourself is an understandable fear; it isn't strange for a multiple system to have that fear, especially if they generally communicate and cooperate well. What you're afraid of is that someone will try to affect the system against the wishes of everyone else in it, it sounds like. Try talking with her, or writing, communicating in some way-- see if you can get close to her mind, find out what she is, what she might want to be. If she has her own agenda, that might not be a bad thing. We've had quite a few people with their own agendas which came into conflict with others' at times but turned out to do more good than harm. And people created for specific purposes often can and do grow into something else, even if they filled a 'role' for a long time.

A question: you speak of someone wanting to become the front? Is there only one front in your system? Is this an unchangeable rule, or, if it turned out someone else wanted to front, could the system be modified?

[chainsaw-hime.livejournal.com]

That's the other thing that worries me, Tarnish and I aren't even sure how this new being identifies.

One additional thing to know is that I (in the global sense) am transexual. Thanks to the previous revisions of Gina, we have transitioned the body almost completely. Logic identified as neither male nor female, viewing itself as a machine or program within the mind to assist when available, front when the others are incapacitated, and so forth. This... Not-Logic has alot of memories of when we had to at least have the boy presentation. And although not-Logic still identitifies as neither (we've gotten that much information) and has said that it remembers how miserable we, in the global sense, were when presenting boy-type, both Tarnish and I still sense alot of masculine energy from it. I know this may sound misandric (sp?) but it drives an additional wedge between us. That and I can't read not-Logic's emotions (Logic never had any emotions, but not-Logic does) like I could to Tarnish or Triton.

Tarnish is worried too, but I understand her worry over the advent of any new person after what happened with Gamma (let's just say that Gamma and Tarnish didn't get along. At all).