Pat Stubbs says we are all just "imaginary friends."

[firewheelvortex.livejournal.com]

Pat Stubbs of MAH has chosen to piss me off. Not only am I, as an empowered multi, not REALLY multi, I'm also making up my Aspergers.

I'm not sure what the bug up Pat's ass is, but it seems to boil down to the fact that we unapologetic multiples aren't suffering enough, due to a lack of appropriate therapy. She outlines this in her preciously named blog, "pulses of plurality."

The primary messages given by the non-disordered multiples (hereafter called the self-invented multiple) is that multiple personality is not a disorder and the anti-survivor message that multiplicity is natural and not caused by abuse. Some of these self-invented multiples hold tenaciously to the label multiple while going to great lengths to say it's not a disorder. Some self-invented multiples state they are just creative and keep inventing alters in their mind. That by the way, that isn't multiplicity, rather it's called a vivid imagination.

The sad truth is folks with vivid imaginations, and natural multiplicity (self-invented multiples) make life harder for those of who are sincerely trying to heal. There is enough controversy surrounding multiplicity, particularly in the medical community without those who profess to have vivid imaginations. You see it's easier for some professionals to believe that multiplicity is made up -- someone with a vivid imagination than to believe it's real.

And that is my problem or your problem, how? The idea is difficult for some people to accept, Colin Ross being the primary example of that. Nonetheless, in my experience, that is the case. I am multi, there are many people of various origins here and I have neither the right - nor the arrogance - to try to exterminate them.

I suppose a healthy imagination is important but hundreds of imaginary friends is a bit much for anyone. Some of these self-invented multiples go as far as saying they weren't abused or traumatized and were born multiple. I wonder why such a healthy "non disordered" person would feel the need to distinguish themselves this way if not for attention. The fact is if those professing no abuse or trauma would not have to worry about being diagnosed anything except perhaps histrionic.

Gee, whatever the reason they are multiple, don't you think that it's the sort of difference that might freak people out if it's not explained? Or you could think of it - as I do - as a litmus test. Which, in case you hadn't guessed - Pat flunks.

Apparently I'm very disturbed about this - aspie thing, not very clear about my emotional state really - because I just finished a long, long post to Graphictruth Forums about all of this. Although I did want something on the record here - as Pat points sneeringly to my LJ.

But she picks on us "self-invented multiples" as if we were out to discredit her entire therapy-and-whining centered lifestyle. And she's not going to LET us define her reality - or anyone elses. That's HER job!

I figure to each his own for the most part. However, when information is misleading I feel the need to speak out. The self invented multiples would have us believe that multiplicity is natural and occurs at birth. According to Sidran.org, "It is now understood that these conditions (MPD/DID) can be common effects of severe trauma in early childhood, most typically extreme, repeated physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse." Don't get me wrong, I don't believe that therapists have all the answers. Also I have never found solace in reading books written by other multiples explaining their perceptions about their system. I am not misguided, or feeble minded and have never looked to anyone or anything else including a book to define "my" reality.

Double standard, or just Revealed Truth?

It's apparently revealed truth. Because when anyone disagrees with her that multiplicity is a horrible disorder that must be cured, that it is something one suffers from or it's not really multiplicity... well, she freaks out and gets abusive.

Taking empowered as a word and equating it with the most bizarre things possible, walk-ins and natural multiplicity could not be more damaging for the survivor community. So here's my message to these so called empowered multiples, stay the fuck away from the rest of the of the real multiples, since you aren't sick or disabled. You purport to not need doctors, support or help. So stick with your own kind and diagnose each other. We don't want to catch what you "don't" have. And for gawds sake, since you aren't disordered -- stop your fucking bitching and whining! Afterall, you have nothing to complain about since you don't subscribe to the medical model, or the disordered perspective. Since you have nothing but order in your freaking lives, what gives you the audacity to show up for "support" at the very place you purport is nothing but a bunch of disordered multiples. It must be so confusing to criticize an entire group and then go there to those very people for support and wonder why they don't agree with you. Take your head out of your ass people. This isn't a huge jump in logic. It's a matter of common sense.

Actually, Pat, we come to give it. Evidence that by working a lot LESS hard, one can funtion a lot better than you do. For instance, we don't turn into screaming abusive perps when contradicted. Nor do we just whimper and run away. We just call your ass on your behavior - which is what members of a community do for one another.

Which is what that person did - and why, I imagine, Pat doesn't include a link to the full context, so she gets the last word.

But here it is... for posterity's sake:

So what because I have never been diagnosed I have no right to call myself multiple?

Because I don't treat doctors like gods who can define my reality I am delusional?

We were aware of a lot of each other before we got into therapy, we learnt for ourselves how to handle our multiplicity, how to work together as a collective, and how to live a good life, to achieve a number of life goals and continue working on others. It was only when we started to believe that we had to be like the professionals said things shoudl be that problems started to occur, when we were told quite adamantly by professionals and other multiples that we had to behave in a certain way, follow their rules did the dysfunction hit us.

I actually have been diagnosed with dissociative disorders, in particular derealisation and depersonalisation which is separate and distinct from our multiplicity. We learn to live with that, we have learned ways to ground ourselves when the world fades around us. We are currently working on our trauma issues, the disorders we have that need resolved, anxiety, ptsd, cognitive distortions. We have a great therapist who has acknowledged that these things, with the levels of trauma we have will never be cured, that we will never be able to go back and fix it all. It would be like asking a double amputee to grow their legs back, but we can learn and are learning to find new skills to learn new ways that will lead us to a complete and fulfilling life, just not the normality that is proclaimed as being the "only right way".

DID is not even used as a diagnosis in New Zealand, it is almost an exclusively american diagnostic label. I consider myself multiple, because there is more than one person here. We have worked hard on developing high levels of communication and cooperation. We are at no more risk of retraumatisation that anyone purely based on our multiplicity. Our levels of risk about retraumatisation comes from the original trauma and like I said that is the reasons we are in therapy, to work on our trauma issues.

Actually now that I have gotten to this point of the response I can see that this is yet another reason why it is probably unbeneficial that I stay with this forum. It isn't just this philosphy of multiplicity as a disorder and doctors as all knowing. It's been coming for a while actually, the knowledge this is not a place I will ever fit or belong. So in saying that I wish you all well and thank you for my time amongst you.

Shire

Community. It ain't who's in it. It's who ain't!

Comments

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

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[kasiya-system.livejournal.com]

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