(no subject)

[martinanonymous.livejournal.com]

Hi everyone. I joined a little while back, but haven't introduced myself yet. I'm fairly sure there's only one permanent resident in this body. There is some stuff that blurs the line a bit, but I don't think I actually have MPD, DID, or anything like that. I'm an eighteen-year-old aspiring musician. I'm currently dating a girl who has alternates. Well, right now she doesn't, but there are times she splits. I'm very confused as to how I can be supportive when they all seem to want very different things and as to how much of the relationship does/should carry over to an alt. I don't even really know how to articulate all this clearly into questions... esp. as I'm trying to keep info about her to a min. I guess I'm just confused and am wondering if anyone has any suggests on how I can be supportive or on where I can find support myself.

Comments

[st-bastard.livejournal.com]

if you like, you can IM us, Rick's husband might be able to help you out a bit. He's very understanding, and loves all of us very much, though his love differs a bit,(understandable, more than one of us is underage.)

I'll ask him, if it's alright to post is im name here, and get back to you.

Wolf
Pack Collective

[martinanonymous.livejournal.com]

thanks

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Welcome! Always glad for another supportive singlet along for the ride. Your girlfriend& are welcome here too -- all of them.

http://www.karitas.net/blackbirds/layman/
http://www.dreamshore.net/amorpha
http://www.astraeasweb.net/plural/faq.shtml

[martinanonymous.livejournal.com]

I'll check those links out as soon as I have time. thanks

[jynxdemon.livejournal.com]

The easiest thing for us is when people just relax about it, if you find yourself talking to someone you don't know get to know them, talk to them and make friends, things get kind of difficult when one or more of the multiple feels badly in any way shape or form about someone or something... atleast for yours truly.... and if she wants to talk to you about it be there for her... it's really awesome when someone can deal with all of it well, it helps alot, makes me feel a bit less out there... But I can only speak from personal experience and every system, multiple, person is different... but you can ask us anything and the people in this comunity are really great about helping each other

[martinanonymous.livejournal.com]

Makes sense... it's just so hard when they disagree so much with each other. For example, sometimes a guy alt comes out, who feels the pain of being in an increasingly female body. I can well understand that pain, since I'm FTM, but how can I be supportive of him without betraying all the female alts?

[jynxdemon.livejournal.com]

it's difficult but people are totally capable of working within that type of situation...
you might ask Ricktboy about that, he's Fem to Male and has multiples, he can probably give you a better feel of the gender issue in multiples.... if he even has one, never really asked that far.... I have some males and some totally androgynous but the range in femininity and masculinity is so varried that it's never created a problem....

[ricktboy.livejournal.com]

actually, I was created as a male alt, and became the semi-permanant front out of neccesity. Since taking over the body,I've decided to change the body to suit me, and have discussed it in great detail with all of the main others, and specifically the orig. host. We came to the compromise that I would never hide the fact that I was born female, and since my own personal gender is fluid, it makes it easier. As a whole, our gender shifts often, and different people may front to reinforce that.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

"he's Fem to Male and has multiples..."

I think you mean he is multiple?

I think there are several other transgendered plurals on this community besides us.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

I can well understand that pain, since I'm FTM, but how can I be supportive of him without betraying all the female alts?

Betraying? I don't think I understand what you mean. How is it betraying the women to say that you understand the feeling of being in a body that doesn't reflect your real gender? I mean, if this were a singlet FTM, you wouldn't be betraying your female-bodied friends by supporting him. The fact that these are a group of people sharing the same body shouldn't change whether or not you can support and empathise with him, unless someone in the group wants to take the body through transition, or wants to make the body look more male and others disagree.

If the folks in your SO's group want someone on the Internet to talk to, there are quite a lot of systems online with transgendered members. You could ask Astraea (<lj user="ksol1460", group mods), for one-- most of them are male and they're very knowledgeable about gender resources and support.

support

[pilgrimchild.livejournal.com]

There is also a website called Help! My friend has multiple personalities. Also, a good one for supporters by this guy who's wife is a multiple...unfortunately, i cannot remember the name of it but I will search for it and post it here if i can.
We think its great that you even WANT to support her. She is very lucky.

Re: support

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Those are pretty much about dysfunctional MPD, though...

There is nothing online that we know of about having a relationship with someone who is just plain multiple, which it sounds like his girlfriend& is.

We've got a bit of relationship stuff at our FAQ, and we'd like to have more and maybe a separate page for it on the website, because we do get letters like this.

http://www.astraeasweb.net/plural/faq.shtml#them

And yes, they are very lucky to have someone who treats them with respect and willingness to learn.

New here

[pilgrimchild.livejournal.com]

Hello all
I'm new here... I'm trying to run away from myself and all the insiders right now. I'm tired of having other people live in my head. I continue to go in and out of denial really badly all the time, even after years and years of liing this way. Does anyone else do this? Most of the time I know its all real and I also am overwhelmed by all the evidence. But then i try to deny it all anyway and say the alters are not real. which just makes them mad and act out. but i keep denying anyway, until things get so bad that i can't handle things anymore, and HAVE to accept the fact that they are real and here and in my head. does anyone else do this? and why do i do this to begin with?

Re: New here

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

I don't know the answers to many of your questions but you are very welcome to put your message in its own separate post (rather than a reply to someone else) so people will see it and can discuss it in detail.

For what it's worth Jay did the sole-frontrunner thing for years, or TRIED to. He was ashamed of us and of himself for "still having imaginary friends". But that isn't quite the same as what you're saying, because you know they are real. You sound like you more just want some space.

Please do feel free to ask your questions because someone here might have dealt with it. Also, all of you are welcome to post in this community.