Space to talk

[pyraxis]

Apologies if I'm out of line here, but I just wanted to create an initial space for people to discuss policy, in an attempt to get debates moved off multiplicity and here into the place that's meant for it. There seem to be a lot of conversations happening on individual journals and it would be good to bring them together.

- Pyraxis

Comments

[hushpiper.livejournal.com]

I agree with this. I do think that bullying is what often happens--however, the reality of the situation is far more complicated than that, and allowing one group to be the "aggressor" while the other is the "victim" only allows the one who can pull off being the "victim" to shrug off responsibility for their role in the conflict. The wording doesn't bother me so much as the mindset, and the actions it leads to.

[tigerweave.livejournal.com]

I agree the "bully" and "Victim" view doesn't help. When someone is feeling like they aren't being heard no matter what they do, it is easy for them to start escalating things in an attempt to get heard. Like "Well if I yell, you don't take any notice of what I was saying. What if I hit you?"

In other words, people who seem like bullies may be being pushed into the role of aggressor. Not just by the "victim" but the people around them.

I am not saying that the bullying issue isn't real. I am saying that simply because it is so difficult to know the dynamics because no one ever has access to them all, using "victim therefore no responsibility" and "Bully therefore all their fault" just simply doesn't work.

I don't have any great answers, I just have noticed in my life it is amazing how people settle down when they feel like they are being heard, and what they are saying is being treated with respect.