Space to talk

[pyraxis]

Apologies if I'm out of line here, but I just wanted to create an initial space for people to discuss policy, in an attempt to get debates moved off multiplicity and here into the place that's meant for it. There seem to be a lot of conversations happening on individual journals and it would be good to bring them together.

- Pyraxis

Comments

[tigerweave.livejournal.com]

Another thing I would like to see addressed is the multi-national nature of the community.

I get this in all the forums I have ever been on. Most are US-dominated. Fine, that is the nature of the beast, like it or lump it.
But... there are other nationalities present, and what one person thinks they are saying can quite literally have a different meaning or nuance when read by someone of another nationality. As a member of a couple of purely Aussie internet communities, I NEVER have the trouble "reading" the underlying meaning of other Aussies' words in the way I can do when communicating with people from the US in particular and elsewhere in general.

I know Canadians and UK people too who have found the same problem. Let alone the trouble in meaning with people whose first language isn't English.

This is important when it comes to conflict resolution because it is basically impossible to sort out differences when one person thinks the other is saying something different from what they are, and vice versa.

There is a simple solution, which is to have within the culture (and preferably the rules of the comm) that it is perfectly ok, and NOT a confrontation or trying to inflame things, to be asking for clarification of meaning.

And for the people in the US to be reminded that it cuts both ways - they may be talking to someone from outside the US, and thus what they think they mean may not be at all what they do mean.
For everyone to ask for clarification of meaning, react to the real meaning once you are sure you have it.

Edited to make sense (been a long day)

[hushpiper.livejournal.com]

*jumps over here to address this stuff*

This is just basic good communication, really, no matter where you're from. And even for two people from the same area as each other, misunderstandings are damnably easy on the internet. A good tool to prevent that is "mirroring", wherein you basically repeat what the other person said, in your own words, and ask them if that's what they meant. If it's not, they say "no, I meant...", and you try again. My mother and I do this, and it makes conversations so much easier. I've started doing it with my friends at times as well, especially as a way to defuse heated conversations. Mirroring also has the fortunate effect of making the other person feel like they are being heard and listened to, which can solve a lot of conflicts in and of itself.

But that's all a teensy bit outside of the point. Basically, I think that politely asking people to clarify what they mean is a very good practice, one that should be pretty much ubiquitous. The internet is ambiguous enough without us helping it along by letting misunderstandings grow unchecked.

P.S. Re: my comment above about overreacting--that is how I read the situation at the time. To me you seemed quite upset about it, which I didn't think was necessary, but which would make sense if you were confused about it. However, reading people's emotions through the internet is a notoriously tricky proposition, so I may very well have got it wrong, in which case I apologize. ;) I just wanted to reassure you, since I didn't get a chance to at the time, that I don't think you really did anything wrong. The situation just managed to escalate, that's all.

P.P.S. You're from Australia? I have the craziest urge to make you talk at me so I can hear your accent. :3

[tigerweave.livejournal.com]

Yup yup yup! that is exactly what I am trying to say. And yes, it is basic good communication, but it is amazing how much easier it is to even mirror someone who is also Australian, I have found. Bizarre!

Anyway, as a possible policy to explore, I've put it up here. I think if things are written clearly in policy, even if they seem basic, it should make it clearer what is expected of everyone.

Thanks for explaining about saying I was over-reacting. Coz I was a bit confused even by why you had thought I had overreacted! *sheepish*

But yeah, I was definitely upset, by the thought I (well, our Little One who posted it) might have totally missed something so basic as pictures of animal abuse.
I/we have been through enough shit in our life, the last thing I would ever want to do is condone abuse in any form.

So yeah, I was upset. And one of the hardest legacies of my childhood to shake is presuming I am the one at fault automatically, or not trusting my own instincts, so I examine and examine and examine. *sigh* it is exhausting!

Thanks for explaining, and thanks for reassuring.

Hehe, lol about the accent! No worries mate! Any time!
Where in the US are you from? what kind of accent do you have?