Space to talk

[pyraxis]

Apologies if I'm out of line here, but I just wanted to create an initial space for people to discuss policy, in an attempt to get debates moved off multiplicity and here into the place that's meant for it. There seem to be a lot of conversations happening on individual journals and it would be good to bring them together.

- Pyraxis

Comments

[tigerweave.livejournal.com]

I would like to see the policy of no trigger-warnings examined. It seemed to me what happened with my cat-macro was most people (I am including people who PMed me about it afterwards too) thought it wasn't anything of concern, but some did, and of those, a few seemed to have been triggered.

I know from my/our experience it is almost impossible to know what is going to trigger you till it has triggered you, and once triggered, you are too busy coping with the stuff it triggered to want to be worried about the way you are coming across to others.

I have always presumed "reader beware" with multiplicity, as even trigger warnings on obvious stuff in other forums don't cover the things that can trigger me.

But... I think it definitely contributed to the initial flare-up. And when people are upset, it is always harder to resolve conflict. I know as a picture it should have been under a cut (my bad.) but it could have as easily been writing that did it.

So yeah... I think that policy needs examining.

Also, nostre_stelle, you said to me not to talk to you again, so I am not posting it directly to a comment of yours, but it is here if you want to read it.

I am sorry for what went down. My initial PM to you was basically to try to clarify where I was coming from and try to ask you to clarify where you were coming from as I was really really unclear and your response had upset me.

I sent my PM to the mods as well, as I said I would, and that was an attempt on my part to make sure whatever communication between us happened privately was kinda mediated. I never heard from any mod on it at all, which really annoyed me. But maybe I was presuming a role from them they weren't prepared to take? I don't know.

Anyway, for the record I wasn't around in Nov. I was traveling and barely able to get online and totally missed the kerfuffle on Mutliplicity then, so I had no idea you had been so upset by any conflict etc then and were feeling victimised. I just honestly DIDN'T KNOW.
My PM to you was absolutely and purely about that post and that first comment you made ONLY.

[hushpiper.livejournal.com]

FWIW, I don't think you did anything wrong except perhaps overreact a little, and forget to put your picture behind a cut. Even if trigger warnings were standard practice in Multiplicity, I doubt cat macros are something that most people would think of putting a trigger warning on.

I am actually surprised, though, that trigger warnings aren't expected on the community. I dunno if I would want them to be mandatory--it is a community for discussion, rather than support, after all--but like putting trigger warnings on your kinky fanfic, it strikes me as being a matter of simple courtesy more than anything else; especially considering that this comm probably has a rather higher percentage of people likely to be triggered than the norm.

[tigerweave.livejournal.com]

Yep, these are my thoughts exactly about the trigger warnings.

I was thinking, to get around the fact that what triggers some people won't trigger others, I would like to throw in the ring a suggestion of pretty much everything being put under a cut, with a bit of a description of what is inside the cut, so if it looks like it is gonna trigger you, you can move on without having seen the content.

That way, it is the people taking responsibility for their own triggers, rather than the person posting being left to try to work out what will or won't trigger people.

As for you comment about me overreacting, I have been thinking of that too and I am gonna make another comment as a separate point.
To me I wasn't over-reacting - I was asking Nostre_stelle where they were coming from as it wasn't clear to me. But they obviously didn't er, dare I say it, have a clue where I was coming from either.

As an Aussie I get this all the time. Americans and to a lesser extend UK and Canadians and others, often say stuff I just don't understand what they are getting at. But I very markedly DON'T have that trouble with stuff. If I had said what I said to an Aussie they woulda said "no worries mate, it means xyz. Sorry if I muddled me words."
And that would have been the end of it.
So yeah.

[hushpiper.livejournal.com]

Well, personally I put almost everything I write under a cut anyway, so doing what you suggest re: triggers and cuts would be only natural to me. It's a very ymmv sort of proposition though, and I wouldn't be surprised if some people were unhappy with it. Basically, I think it's another thing that should be more grassroots than official, if that makes sense.

As far as deciding what triggers should have a warning, though, I think the standard is to cut and warn for kink, violence, any kind of abuse, self-harm/suicide, drug use, and whatever strikes you as sufficiently edgy or extreme to freak someone out--it varies, of course, from poster to poster. I don't think I've seen very many posts on the comm that I would say might need a trigger cut (not that I've been watching for that); geckopaws' post mentioning suicide, possibly.

However, I'd hate for that to be confused with making the poster responsible for the triggers of anyone who reads. In the end, trigger warnings are only courtesy, and it is always the responsibility of the triggered individual(s) to deal with their own triggers. It's sometimes difficult, as you mentioned above, but that's kind of just the way things have to be, and in general I would say that if a person is so badly triggered by something they saw or read that they cannot deal with it at all, they need a heck of a lot more than a trigger warning.

[tigerweave.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it can be a difficult issue. Glad there is gonna be some discussion on it though :-) thanks for chiming in.

[tigerweave.livejournal.com]

Ok! I am glad you understand now, and me too :-)