a quiet hello

[stormsforme.livejournal.com]

i am a less multiple-dissoid.
i just found this group and hope that it's ok to join.

i used to do newsgroups a lot, years ago... alt.support.dissociation, and i wonder if any of you were ever on there. did the mailing list support thing

stopped for awhile. my life came together.

but i wonder if its ok to still ... miss the way i was before. im more fragmented than alter-ish.

the fragments are more gel'ed with the body now, less switching. though i still shift to child often, it's not as drastic a switch as before, and aside from the soft child-voice, it's less obvious to those around me.

this is supposed to be a success story, right? went from suicidal, falling apart, empty, dead, losing time constantly, feeling so shattered... to more unified.

but it feel so empty and lonely in my mind now.

~storms

Comments

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Integration isn't all that they lead you to believe, is it?

http://www.astraeasweb.net/plural/integrate.html

[stormsforme.livejournal.com]

The weird thing is, i didn't choose it... it just sort of .. happened. Over the course of a few months, as i got into a good relationship and had a support system, i guess my need for them ended and they all just kind of.. left.
makes me wonder if they were ever there in the first place?

Re: been integrated, never again

[sexylittleone.livejournal.com]

did it for 6 years. unfun. we won't do it again anytime soon tyvm.

we resplit 6 + months ago. shrugs, all i can say its good to be back.

El

[kuponutmalt.livejournal.com]

That happens to me a lot. Depending on what's going on outside and inside, we kind of shift in and out of an integration of sorts. It was actually somewhat of a coping mechanism in middle and high school: a new front would be created who didn't know about the others, lived as a singlet for a while, then *pop*, everyone falls out again. Lather, rinse, repeat. I know what you mean about the emptiness, though--that longing is usually what causes the re-dissociation for me.

[kiahx.livejournal.com]

I think we are supposed to be going away. Kate's bf seems to think they will make us dissapear..

I don't really want them to do that but I'm not really in Major control. Kate is.