Multiplicity

I'm more or less singlish myself, and in a longtime relationship with six people in one body. So I'm looking for any resources for partners, and any pointers from others living in/with multiplicity...

( Two issues are front and center for me: )

OK, a third issue. Most of our relationship problems have been related to a state they (my partners) call "liminal". Nobody is really in charge (no frontrunner) and the body's behavior becomes erratic, unpredictable, and unkind... also, memory losses/lack of accountability. I have learned to sense this state, and sense when the system is heading to that state (whoever is frontrunning becomes erratic and increasingly less coherent) and ask that either someone show up or else the system withdraw/journal/meditate until someone gets their act together to come forward. Lapses into this state are a cause for concern for all six people-- they are very motivated to avoid them.

One of my partners wanted me to ask about this, is the struggle with the liminal/nobody-frontrunning state familiar to any of you?? What are some of the factors that make this state worse and is there anything else (besides having me point it out, timeouts and meditation and journal-writing) that helps make it better? (A no-stress lifestyle doesn't seem to be in the cards!)

Thanks for any help--

Halcyon