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[azraile.livejournal.com]

I'm cuirous about something, I hear about "frunting" and all that.....

Well Kitsu and Frostbite can't do this, as far as I know anyway...... If Kitsu has frunted it was snuck in while I was asleep... .her getting up after I whent to bed... then going back to bed later for me to wake up....or some other little tricky way of doing it so I don't know she has..... but she's not done anything that would show evidance that she has realy so *shrugs*

But I'm just curious..... whats it like for your when your not frunting?


EDIT - Hope you don't mind me being curious but as I said, none other in here can take control from me or choses not to..... there has ben a few insidtances where the feral side and I have strugled with it ratehr controling the body and me fighting to restrain my actions.... but thats about it.....

Sence there is the posablity another may be able to evenachly take over and frunt for a while..... the curiosity of what may hapen to me in the meantime is something I wonder about.....

Comments

[sexylittleone.livejournal.com]

heh most of our time is spent in a modest house, or in a yard, a forest, by some waterfalls or a number of other small places in the country.

Theres not much else to it. WHy do you ask?

el

[azraile.livejournal.com]

I'm just curious.... it's difrent for other people from what i have seen... makes me wonder

So do you like just go to another place hu?

[sexylittleone.livejournal.com]

essentially what happens is i relinquish control, someone else takes over & i am free to wander the house or outside as i choose. for the time that i am in front, i can wander the house though that requires some thought & energy sometimes. i can't go outside the house but i can summone anyone else i need to be co-concious with me at that point. its not scary but our system has evolved for the last 16-17 years too and we've been self-aware (mostly) for that time as well.

in as much as i am aware of the outside world when i front, i am also aware (if i choose to be) of the inside and wehre i am sitting, what i'm doing at that moment, etc. my awareness extends in other words, to both inside & outside realities simultaneously if i choose. takes some getting used to though.

el

[azraile.livejournal.com]

wow... ya... that must be confusing at times.....nothing like that here (least that i know of)

*Blinks a bit* oie... and not realy sure kitsu's house would make a sutable place to be like that...lol... oh gods that could couse problems there... LOL.... she don't exacly like being indoors only one resson for her to have that house and it's not exsactly for resonds that would make it good for a situation like that....lol

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

We go home, to our own world. We're a portal system. The body just exists to let us all interact with the earth world. We mostly write about our world on worldswithin if you want details.

[azraile.livejournal.com]

thats rather interesting.... so can like anyone from your world take over the systems body or just a few?

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Anyone at all is welcome to do so, although a lot of people simply don't care to. There's translators and filters and such so that people who are new to the front still have a pretty good grasp of what's going on and can handle basic skills, typing and speaking English and all that. And operating the tape deck to listen to Neil Young. ;)

[azraile.livejournal.com]

*luaghs a bit* you don't have to worry much about others poping in and out then I would take it......

*giggles* If kitsu say take over and plays around it's going ot have a rather negitive afect on my life and requre a lot of explination from me x.x

lol on the other hand your life isn't here it's there.

*yawns a bit* Kitsu and frost have a bit of a mindscape... there own little mini-world in my head maybe i would end up there if one frunts

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

We've had a bit of problems with certain people fronting, mostly in terms of being able to speak English or having different sleep patterns. But you're quite correct; our lives are mostly there, and not here!

[azraile.livejournal.com]

*luaghs a bit* yes i can image that... "hey leave it alone it needs to sleep"

*Snickers*

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure that we do "fronting", the way other people here describe it. We consider ourselves a family rather than a "system", and it's rare for any one of us to take form entirely alone.

Anyway: when Crist-Erui has the helm, he usually shares his feelings and sense-data freely and fully, so it's like being swept up and carried along with him - I can feel everything this body feels, I can feel his emotions as well as my own, but I don't have any volition. If Duathir and I don't want him to do something, we can try persuasion - he usually heeds us, but not always, and if he doesn't, there's nothing we can do about it. He can shut us both out, too, so we are entirely out of contact with this body, though he hasn't done it for many years now.

When Duathir is corporeal, he has a hard time with it and can't do it long without help. When he's writing, I'm the one who helps, because Crist-Erui isn't good with that, and then it feels... hmmm... it's like, I am behind him, holding him steady, taking what I can of the load of sensory data for him, so he can concentrate on the mechanics of putting words together.

Sometimes he insists on doing it by himself, though, and then Crist-Erui and I both have to stand back and let him struggle with corporeality on his own. It's not easy to watch, and there is a definite limit to how long Crist-Erui is willing to watch it without stepping in to help his twin whether Duathir wants him to or not. I could do the same, but I don't, because it would hurt his pride; his relationship with me is quite different from his relationship with Crist-Erui. If he asks for my help, it's there for him, but I wait till he asks, and meanwhile usually try to distract, reassure, and/or amuse Crist-Erui, so he will not worry so much about his brother.

When the two of them ride together, I mostly just kick back and focus on my own stuff, of which there is plenty to keep me busy, and let them have their time together. I can watch if I want to, can ask to share... LOL, sometimes I don't get a choice about that, when Crist-Erui is happy and decides he wants both of us to ride with him. However, with three people sharing one body, there's not a lot of privacy, so we try to grant one another as much of it as we can.

Think of it like a car: someone driving, someone sitting up front reading the maps and helping watch for turns and signs and things, and someone sitting in the back, maybe taking part in conversation or watching the scenery, maybe not. It's Crist-Erui's car; he can drive it whenever he wants - however, while he is awesome at off-road, he's very scared of traffic, so when there's traffic, I'm the one who drives. Duathir finds driving intensely difficult, but he is a highly skilled and patient co-pilot, so occupies the front passenger seat most of the time. All this is, of course, a metaphor - it doesn't "feel" like driving a car at all, just that the process of how it works is somewhat similar.

[azraile.livejournal.com]

Yah thats kinda like how things where the feral side took over... it was more like it was in the drivers seat and I was fighting for the wheel. >.<

But while frostbite and kitsu are usaly aware of stuff that happens there off in there own world prity much... and some times seap back and just kinda disapear into a part of me.....

*thinks a bit* hum... what happens to you when Crist-Erui shuts you out compleatly from the body?

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

"what happens to you when Crist-Erui shuts you out completely from the body?"

Those were scary times, because when it would happen, he'd be so scared and upset that he seemed almost to shut himself out too - just to be going on pure fight-or-flight. All that would come through would be brief glimpses of chaos and bursts of chaotic noise, which were probably what he was seeing and hearing - he'd be lost in it, just running, and there'd be not one single thing we could do about it until he finally stopped.

I should think that it felt much like being locked in the back of a truck as it hurtled down a twisty mountain road, the driver being so terrified and confused as he focused on escaping from Whatever Pursued that he paid no mind to how he was driving.

[azraile.livejournal.com]

that don't sound fun, and is a bit of what i'm scared of

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Not at all fun, and least of all for him; it would take him literally days to calm down after those times. He never wanted to be that way, just he was scared, hurt and confused, and couldn't help it.

Most of the time, he is gentle, affectionate, curious, sensuous, joyful in his experiencing of the world and eager to share it with us. He's not "childlike", and wasn't very childlike even in our actual childhood - more that he's a wild creature, our forest-dancer, and has that kind of innocence.

'Wrestling' with him for control does no good at all, as we have learned from long experience. He's got the strength; he can take form whenever he pleases and stay that way apparently indefinitely. What he can't do is look after himself very well, though he has gotten better about it over the years; it's only in the past five years that he's started talking, and he still doesn't do it often - for a lot of reasons, he's not able to function well in civilization. Fortunately he appears to know this, and relies on us to look after him.

One thing that's really important is that he's got times when he can be corporeal and not have to function in civilization. He needs to be physical, there's only so long he can go without it, and if there's no "appropriate time and place" for it, he'll eventually take an inappropriate one, thus probably getting us in trouble. So, a big factor in our living a peaceful life is his being able to go walk in the woods every day, and have other, longer occasions where he can spend his time as he chooses.

It may be the same with your feral aspect, and all the rage and so on that you sense is a result of being too much cooped-up. So, maybe a camping trip, or a long hike, where you can say "Okay, come on out and let's get acquainted" would help?

[azraile.livejournal.com]

thats odd... is he the orginal/core/whateever

*just wonders cose from what shi's seen they usaly have the more ablity to hold control*



Hum as far as the feral aspect.... wouldn't know about it (reather not say it's kinda hard to deturmed a tiger's gender from the way it acts.... least with out having maybe studied them for years x.x)

It's not so much it has a lot of rage.... but I had a lot of pent up rage and it acted on it...... Realy it just prity much felt my building anger... and while I could hold it back... it didn't... and would just rage forth into control and lash out.

Though I often do desire to be out in the wild.... the feral side seams content to rest back some where in the back of my mind and lay around being all lazy like... *luaghs*

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

"thats odd... is he the orginal/core/whatever"

Don't think we actually have any "original" or "core" - we're natural multiple, have always been together. What I think is that he's got the strength to become and remain corporeal when he wants because he is so connected to the body's senses, and I surmise he is so connected because his way of thought is primarily non-symbolic. It's hard to verify that sort of thing about someone who doesn't talk, though, even after sharing the same body with him for 46 years, so... who knows?

[azraile.livejournal.com]

Ah.... I don't know how I ended up like this..... or where they came from.... just

from my what I know kitsu was serpessed and kinda locked away with part of my mind... and when I pulled that bit out she came out with it and woke up....

frost... well he just kind apeared one day.... thoug he wasn't always a seamingly a part of me.... x.x being a part of me has been rather bad for him it seams (mad a post on it that kidna goes into that more)

and the feral side... well as far as i can tell it's always been there... just only realy evedant when it did more than afect my overal behavior and kinda reared it's head up when i got pissed... x.x



gah... i'm suprised people don't suspect about it IRL....

I get rather out of control like that and hard to keep in line... usaly people use force by my friend just acted very dominating and agresive... .and I kinda reluctantly backed down and did as he said (he's tough and he had a base ball bat and screamed at me like a drill sargent... o.o)..... and one time I picked a like 400 bl girl up by the neck with one arm and roared in her face, then droped her a bit after she when she whent limp (saw this as her submitting to me)

you think they would kinda take that as a sign something isn't quite normal with me... lol

[azraile.livejournal.com]

It's not so much my feral side is vilant... it just has only come out when I was full of rage... in realmes way beyond anger.... pushed to the limit of my restraints and then a buch of pent up anger taped into.....

Combine that with that bits kinda lack of restraint and it usaly has very very very agressive responces..... animals tend to use agrestion as a warning..... and will leteraly do what a human would consider an attack, and get up in some ones face to tell them to back off........

So it's not a very good thing in the sence people tend to react to agrestion with vilance..... so an agresive warning gets mistataken as an attack, and things get uggly....

>.

[kiya]

The most straightforward 'model' for the innards of the head is as a stage for an improv production.

Usually there are a few folks on stage doing their thing. People wander on and off as the fancy takes them, or shout things onto the stage from the wings. Every so often someone ducks into the dressing rooms for a while and isn't really participating at all, but mostly people are keeping an eye on what's going on.

When there's one person on stage doing a soliloquy, either things are really intense or they're being forcible about it.

[jew87.livejournal.com]

That is the best analogy.