I was told I should post this here.......
Apr. 2nd, 2004 09:15 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
azraile.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
multiplicity_archivesI hapen to have a few aspects of my subochance that are well seprate from me.... hell one seams to be able to dream hop into peoples dreams, and even go so far to take them over. I'm not realy sure what to think about it but they are a part of me... yet not quitee the wole multipule thing i've seen with others..... Least if one has taken over my body I am not aware of this... (there is a friend who SWARES I called him up and said some prity freaky shit to him and i don't remember doing so.. but thats the only evidance that is even a posablity... if one has taken over they where VERY sneaky about it)
Anyway..... I was just curious if there was any way I could make it so I could hear, or comunicate with them more clearly......maybe even pull them up out of my subconchance some more if need be.... or would doing so kinda bring the risk of making it possable for them to take over. I don't know..... I would like to talk to two of them... one I could learn a lot form... and the other needs to be comferted some and talked to try and resolve some internal problems.
I just figured some one might know something about this kinda stuff....... I don't know.....
Kitsu - She is the part of me that rather inbodies several things....inocence, childlike nature, playfullness, happyness, kinda my iner trickster, more open and soshable aspects, and sexuality (last bit being a bit of an understament..lol). She apears as a kitsune with goldenish red fur and white markings rather than black, with white markings a bit on hir face and muzzle, and nine tails. She has fiery red hair and jade green eyes. She also shows up as a human with tails or a small fox. She has the ablity to take more forms it seams but never dose... and is ALWAYS female. (even though admitantly she can sex shift, just is female and would rather stay that way)
The part of me like her was repressed for a good 10 or more years....tring to draw on what little bits of it where on the surface out and act like her.. .putting myself into an altered state to make a friend happy. (I thought me acting like that would cheer her up... and it did) Doing so some how drug that bit of me up from being repressed..... and a few days later Kitsu, aprently regressed with it, kinda just 'woke up' so to say.
She aprently has another name.... but won't tell me it.. Acutaly she made a bit of an ordial about the name...lol... spend 3 days ether tring to get me to tell her a name or try to get her to accept a name I came up with.... Evenchaly she just when out of the blue "You can call me Kitsu, becose it's Kitsune only cutter" (and ya know it would be more cute but she aprently thinks that cutter is cute)
Kitsu is rather .. odd... she don't seam to understand a lot of consepts I do. Like why we bother wearing clothing when it's warm. *luaghs* And don't seam to understand why some things you just don't do becose there wrong... She dose have a bit of a sence of right and wrong but it's more a sence of whats honorable and just than anything else. She whants to work torge whats best for me.... though seams to be doing this her own way.... evechaly whants to intergrate with me but don't think I'm ready right now..... She tends to do stuff on her own not even realy at times caring for what others think long as it's for there good she don't see anything wrong with forcing things on poeple..... she forced Frostbite's mindscape to join with her own, and tried to force him to play games with her and have fun... and has forced some things on me too... but aditatnly what she did was for the best in the end I still tend to think it's best not to force things on people >.>
Also oddly she seams to be able to dream walk... entering other peoples dreams and even taking over, and seams to do this for fun or some other ressons *Shrugs.* They tend to all be sexual in nature and with her being rather sexualy agresive. I find this rather hard to beleave but friends that don't know about her have discribed her and parts of her mindscape rather clearly from times she invaded there dreams. *blinks* so I don't know what to think. That and she's told me she was going to pounce some one, and I hear back from them some times she did. (she says she did though even when they don't remember any dreams or any of her.)
anways.... can put more on her later probly......
Frostbite - He is part of me that is rather... well to put it hurt... Is emtionaly crushed prity much. He is usaly very deepressed and scared. He tends to think very very very very poorly of himself, of me as a whole. Thinks there is not much a point in anything and I am always going to be in pain and alone and thats probly the way things where ment to be.... that he/I don't deserve anything more... prity much all those feelings that go along with that he has..... He is rather scared of afection from others and tries to push people away, thinking will only be hurt more.... all that stuffs.... He is also the more caring and nurtchering aspect... whanting to watch over and protect others.. help them get through there pain.... even take there pain onto himself if he could..... Prity much a good way to look at frost is a very young caring saintly type thats been abused and emontaionly tormented all his life to the point just whants to curl up in a hole and die... isn't realy sucidle but dose whant an end of some kind... though is scared of such things too........ I don't know... he's very hurt and very complicated..... hard to learn more about him sence he tends to push people away, myself and kitsu inculed, and hide way.
He's some times rather in an ok or good mood.... and is rather cute and nice at those times though..... rather silly and funny... he's nice.... just hurt.... *sighs*
He apears as a rather small, kitten sized, furry baby dragon... looking more like a cat with a dragons tail and angelic wings...... He has white fur and light light light light blue hair with white streaks through it, and crystal blue eyes. He some times apears as a very very young elf child, like looking like 5 or 6 years of age, with the same color hair and eyes... *giggles a bit* his hair is all short and spikey... rather cute with that color.
Here is a picture of frostbite, well kinda... it's not quite a good one or totaly acurate... the cooloring is just a little off all over, but close enugh....and don't have the white streaks in his hair..... but it's good enugh to show you what he looks like..... and he is about that small in that form...hehe... tottal cuttie.
He was kinda something i felt about me that evechaly took form.... he wasn't so hurt... rather young playfull though shy and scared easly... rather hidding and skittish.... but had no emtional pain.... but the kinda died or something... and after a few weeks just stared showing up again as a part of me.... but had taken on a lot of repressed pain and torment I endured..... it seams it was a bit to much for him to bare and is in a rather bad state. *sighs* After that first time he showed up was in a waking dream..... where I found him in his mindscape... wich was untill kitsu pulled in into hers a rather scary place..... think mordor for all you LotR fans.... it was not a very plesent place.... with a lot of shadowy images and imiginary beasts he was creating unkowingly.... I broke those images though before kitsu took it apon herself to give him a better home.......anyway.. ya... even with nothing to be scared of he still rather hides away....
not much more I can realy thingk to say on him exsept that was named by me and friends.... didn't have a name and didn't realy care what name he was given.... though now so i'll move on....
-Feral, has no name- - Final bit keeps mostly subconchance, and is feral. For all intents and perposes it is a, rather larger and rather smart, white tiger... and just a tiger. Seams to have the inteligance to understand a grate deal more than your avrage animal but in it's thoughts and actions is very much just a normal tiger. For gender I have no clue what so ever...... not even sure if it has a gender.... though it has shown a grate deal of anger torge the wrongs done to intersexed babies, I mean rather gets quite pissed off and defincive of them.... so it maybe be ingersexed as odd as that sounds. It also seams to have appointed it's self a bit of a guardain for kitsu, frostbite, and me as a whole..... aswell as my friends, least those I see as if famely.
It has acutaly had control over my body a few times leaving me to prity much watch and try to guide it's actions, but this has only happend in a state of anger thats just like..... gah....I have to reach a rather sever level of anger that just falls into just plain rage for that to happen. At that point just kinda snap and act like a very very very pissed off tiger. Never realy hurt anyone but sertaintly have tried. Thankfully I lost all that pent up anger and don't get to the point control gets turned over to it anymore. Wich I am quite glad for.... last time I got to that point i picked up a 350 pound girl by her neck with one arm like she was a twig (and i can barly lift 40bls with one arm) and roared in her face.
For the most part though it don't realy get all that angry....only when I do.. wich is a rather hard thing to do.... There are some exseptions that get us angry rather easly.... Mainly abuse... in any sence espeshaly to children and women... and esepsahly by men... something about a guy that will hurd some one weaker then them but can't stand up and fight to some one that will put up a fight (even if they could kick the persons but they will still back down kinda person) that just makes me wana tair off there nuts and beat them to the point there mother couldn't recognize them >.>... .Stuff like that too... Like rape and what not..... That and like I said It gets pissed off when people wrong intersexed people more than males or females for some reson
*giggles a bit* I've managed to keep it intertained and drawn out of my subochance long enugh after something pissed it off and got it's atention to find it can be quite silly and playfull... but is more liekly to be serius or lazy *luaghs* wich is probly why it stays so far in my sucbochance... it's just lounging around being lazy
No much I can say on this aspect.... mainly becose well usaly only know it's there from my feline quirks and manurisoms.... and when I or it gets pissed off enugh to get worked up. For the most part when I try to get it's attention it just kinda ingores me
Any input would be nice realy, espeshaly ones torge tirng to work better with them on some of my problems... or there problems for that mater...lol..... oie.... or if you got any questions about something i might not have made so clear just ask and i'll try to clear things up if i can x.x
*whimpers* sorry for the big post... .but cut the big parts so won't kill your friends list
Anyway..... I was just curious if there was any way I could make it so I could hear, or comunicate with them more clearly......maybe even pull them up out of my subconchance some more if need be.... or would doing so kinda bring the risk of making it possable for them to take over. I don't know..... I would like to talk to two of them... one I could learn a lot form... and the other needs to be comferted some and talked to try and resolve some internal problems.
I just figured some one might know something about this kinda stuff....... I don't know.....
Kitsu - She is the part of me that rather inbodies several things....inocence, childlike nature, playfullness, happyness, kinda my iner trickster, more open and soshable aspects, and sexuality (last bit being a bit of an understament..lol). She apears as a kitsune with goldenish red fur and white markings rather than black, with white markings a bit on hir face and muzzle, and nine tails. She has fiery red hair and jade green eyes. She also shows up as a human with tails or a small fox. She has the ablity to take more forms it seams but never dose... and is ALWAYS female. (even though admitantly she can sex shift, just is female and would rather stay that way)
The part of me like her was repressed for a good 10 or more years....tring to draw on what little bits of it where on the surface out and act like her.. .putting myself into an altered state to make a friend happy. (I thought me acting like that would cheer her up... and it did) Doing so some how drug that bit of me up from being repressed..... and a few days later Kitsu, aprently regressed with it, kinda just 'woke up' so to say.
She aprently has another name.... but won't tell me it.. Acutaly she made a bit of an ordial about the name...lol... spend 3 days ether tring to get me to tell her a name or try to get her to accept a name I came up with.... Evenchaly she just when out of the blue "You can call me Kitsu, becose it's Kitsune only cutter" (and ya know it would be more cute but she aprently thinks that cutter is cute)
Kitsu is rather .. odd... she don't seam to understand a lot of consepts I do. Like why we bother wearing clothing when it's warm. *luaghs* And don't seam to understand why some things you just don't do becose there wrong... She dose have a bit of a sence of right and wrong but it's more a sence of whats honorable and just than anything else. She whants to work torge whats best for me.... though seams to be doing this her own way.... evechaly whants to intergrate with me but don't think I'm ready right now..... She tends to do stuff on her own not even realy at times caring for what others think long as it's for there good she don't see anything wrong with forcing things on poeple..... she forced Frostbite's mindscape to join with her own, and tried to force him to play games with her and have fun... and has forced some things on me too... but aditatnly what she did was for the best in the end I still tend to think it's best not to force things on people >.>
Also oddly she seams to be able to dream walk... entering other peoples dreams and even taking over, and seams to do this for fun or some other ressons *Shrugs.* They tend to all be sexual in nature and with her being rather sexualy agresive. I find this rather hard to beleave but friends that don't know about her have discribed her and parts of her mindscape rather clearly from times she invaded there dreams. *blinks* so I don't know what to think. That and she's told me she was going to pounce some one, and I hear back from them some times she did. (she says she did though even when they don't remember any dreams or any of her.)
anways.... can put more on her later probly......
Frostbite - He is part of me that is rather... well to put it hurt... Is emtionaly crushed prity much. He is usaly very deepressed and scared. He tends to think very very very very poorly of himself, of me as a whole. Thinks there is not much a point in anything and I am always going to be in pain and alone and thats probly the way things where ment to be.... that he/I don't deserve anything more... prity much all those feelings that go along with that he has..... He is rather scared of afection from others and tries to push people away, thinking will only be hurt more.... all that stuffs.... He is also the more caring and nurtchering aspect... whanting to watch over and protect others.. help them get through there pain.... even take there pain onto himself if he could..... Prity much a good way to look at frost is a very young caring saintly type thats been abused and emontaionly tormented all his life to the point just whants to curl up in a hole and die... isn't realy sucidle but dose whant an end of some kind... though is scared of such things too........ I don't know... he's very hurt and very complicated..... hard to learn more about him sence he tends to push people away, myself and kitsu inculed, and hide way.
He's some times rather in an ok or good mood.... and is rather cute and nice at those times though..... rather silly and funny... he's nice.... just hurt.... *sighs*
He apears as a rather small, kitten sized, furry baby dragon... looking more like a cat with a dragons tail and angelic wings...... He has white fur and light light light light blue hair with white streaks through it, and crystal blue eyes. He some times apears as a very very young elf child, like looking like 5 or 6 years of age, with the same color hair and eyes... *giggles a bit* his hair is all short and spikey... rather cute with that color.
Here is a picture of frostbite, well kinda... it's not quite a good one or totaly acurate... the cooloring is just a little off all over, but close enugh....and don't have the white streaks in his hair..... but it's good enugh to show you what he looks like..... and he is about that small in that form...hehe... tottal cuttie.
He was kinda something i felt about me that evechaly took form.... he wasn't so hurt... rather young playfull though shy and scared easly... rather hidding and skittish.... but had no emtional pain.... but the kinda died or something... and after a few weeks just stared showing up again as a part of me.... but had taken on a lot of repressed pain and torment I endured..... it seams it was a bit to much for him to bare and is in a rather bad state. *sighs* After that first time he showed up was in a waking dream..... where I found him in his mindscape... wich was untill kitsu pulled in into hers a rather scary place..... think mordor for all you LotR fans.... it was not a very plesent place.... with a lot of shadowy images and imiginary beasts he was creating unkowingly.... I broke those images though before kitsu took it apon herself to give him a better home.......anyway.. ya... even with nothing to be scared of he still rather hides away....
not much more I can realy thingk to say on him exsept that was named by me and friends.... didn't have a name and didn't realy care what name he was given.... though now so i'll move on....
-Feral, has no name- - Final bit keeps mostly subconchance, and is feral. For all intents and perposes it is a, rather larger and rather smart, white tiger... and just a tiger. Seams to have the inteligance to understand a grate deal more than your avrage animal but in it's thoughts and actions is very much just a normal tiger. For gender I have no clue what so ever...... not even sure if it has a gender.... though it has shown a grate deal of anger torge the wrongs done to intersexed babies, I mean rather gets quite pissed off and defincive of them.... so it maybe be ingersexed as odd as that sounds. It also seams to have appointed it's self a bit of a guardain for kitsu, frostbite, and me as a whole..... aswell as my friends, least those I see as if famely.
It has acutaly had control over my body a few times leaving me to prity much watch and try to guide it's actions, but this has only happend in a state of anger thats just like..... gah....I have to reach a rather sever level of anger that just falls into just plain rage for that to happen. At that point just kinda snap and act like a very very very pissed off tiger. Never realy hurt anyone but sertaintly have tried. Thankfully I lost all that pent up anger and don't get to the point control gets turned over to it anymore. Wich I am quite glad for.... last time I got to that point i picked up a 350 pound girl by her neck with one arm like she was a twig (and i can barly lift 40bls with one arm) and roared in her face.
For the most part though it don't realy get all that angry....only when I do.. wich is a rather hard thing to do.... There are some exseptions that get us angry rather easly.... Mainly abuse... in any sence espeshaly to children and women... and esepsahly by men... something about a guy that will hurd some one weaker then them but can't stand up and fight to some one that will put up a fight (even if they could kick the persons but they will still back down kinda person) that just makes me wana tair off there nuts and beat them to the point there mother couldn't recognize them >.>... .Stuff like that too... Like rape and what not..... That and like I said It gets pissed off when people wrong intersexed people more than males or females for some reson
*giggles a bit* I've managed to keep it intertained and drawn out of my subochance long enugh after something pissed it off and got it's atention to find it can be quite silly and playfull... but is more liekly to be serius or lazy *luaghs* wich is probly why it stays so far in my sucbochance... it's just lounging around being lazy
No much I can say on this aspect.... mainly becose well usaly only know it's there from my feline quirks and manurisoms.... and when I or it gets pissed off enugh to get worked up. For the most part when I try to get it's attention it just kinda ingores me
Any input would be nice realy, espeshaly ones torge tirng to work better with them on some of my problems... or there problems for that mater...lol..... oie.... or if you got any questions about something i might not have made so clear just ask and i'll try to clear things up if i can x.x
*whimpers* sorry for the big post... .but cut the big parts so won't kill your friends list
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Date: 2004-04-02 01:57 pm (UTC)Anyway... I'm not good at advice, but it's nice to meet all of yous, and I hope some others can help better than I can.
-Cor
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Date: 2004-04-02 05:09 pm (UTC)That one form looks like some one bleached Nall all white and then died his hair, and gave him blue eye contacts... LOL
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Date: 2004-04-02 03:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-02 05:10 pm (UTC)But they deffently disapear back way back into the deepests parts of my mind as a part of me a LOT....
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Date: 2004-04-04 04:39 pm (UTC)this is making me think.... hmmm...
i've never heard anyone say that sort of thing before....
Julie & Co.
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Date: 2004-04-09 07:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-02 05:02 pm (UTC)Dream hopping? Interesting. We are empathic, and sometimes have strange pre-cognitive flashes, but have never entered other people's dreams (unless you count walking into dreams of other people in this body, but that's easy!)
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Date: 2004-04-02 05:14 pm (UTC)Some times rather anoying x.x