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multiplicity_archivesWe are posting an essay that has been up in our journal for a while. Parts of it tie in with recent questions.
What is multiplicity?
Multiplicity is when more than one individual, independent person lives in a single body. Such people can be referred to as multiples. Similarly, people that are the sole inhabitant of their body are called singles.
You may hear the terms plurality and plurals used synonymously with multiplicity. In the broader sense of the word, multiplicity is a subset of plurality. Plurality encompasses every experience of being outside of singularity. Non-multiple plurality includes people where there is definitely more than a single entity in the body but they lack some facet of personhood to keep them from being separate, distinct people. Terms for some of these experiences are mid-continuum, median, and soulbonding, although not all soulbonders are plural. Plurality may sometimes include singles that operate as though they are more than one person. Examples of this would include: individuals that give names to aspects of their personality, people exploring their inner child, or a bipolar person that is treating their manic and depressive self as separate people to manage the impulses of each mood state.
What is MPD/DID?
Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is the current term for Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD). DID is a psychological disorder with symptoms pertaining to only a portion of the multiple community. It is the belief of many multiples that DID is actually the product of a disorganized system. Increased communication and cooperation between the system members generally eliminates the disruptive symptoms of DID. Unfortunately, the psychology field views multiplicity itself as the disorder so many times the treatment focuses on eradicating the multiplicity instead of restoring order.
MPD/DID is not a synonym for multiplicity but some people mistake it for one. People whose only experience is with the clinical approach to multiplicity may not realize that the two are not the same thing. Some are both multiple and have MPD/DID so they do not consider that there are multiples who are not disordered. The general public also frequently links the two together with multiple and split personalities. Because of this, many multiples will be offended by disparaging comments made about MPD/DID even though they themselves do not identify as having the disorder.
Where does multiplicity come from?
There are many theories about why some people are multiple. Realistically, there are probably as many origins as there are different ways to experience multiplicity. No single theory is going to encompass every multiple’s experience.
Many people do not know why they are multiple. Some feel they were born that way. Others believe they were born as one (or none) but became multiple as a natural part of their development. The psychological theories are based on the idea that a person experiences some sort of traumatic abuse then splits or fragments occur in their personality to cope with the abuse. Most books claim that all multiples originated this way but that is not the case, nor does having a history of abuse mean that is how the multiplicity originated. Some people believe that they are multiple because they are sharing their body with reincarnations from their past lives or with beings channeled from elsewhere. Other people believe that everyone is born multiple (or at least plural) but our society teaches us that only singularity is allowed so the multiplicity becomes suppressed.
Do not worry if only a few or none of these theories seem plausible to you. These beliefs are much like a religion. They are attempts by individuals to explain something that does not have any neat, perfect answers. In the end, it is not really the origins that are important. It’s what the people are now that is important.
Where do the people in multiple systems come from?
The people that make up a multiple system have as many different origins as the systems themselves can have. Some people are believed to have been present in the body at birth. When there is only one such person, this individual is referred to as the original or core person. Some systems, especially those that follow the psychological model, place special deference on this person while others do not. Some systems had an original but that person later left, died, or went into hiding.
A popular origination belief is that members of a system are created by the division or splitting of previous system members. In multiples with DID or those that follow the psychological model, this is often the only explanation of origin that they will accept. Some people believe that this splitting creates two entirely new people. Others believe that this creates one new person and the original person that split remains unchanged. Similarly, some multiples report that they have had new people formed from the merger of two other individuals. This may occur because different sides of the same person are being erroneously labeled as different people.
Some people are born spontaneously, possibly in response to some need within the system. Others are intentionally created by other system members. Sometimes, people are created unintentionally without even the creators being aware of it. How people are made varies between systems but it is never a frivolous process. It is quite a bit more involved than simply wishing for such and such type person then having them magically appear. Even when the people are being created with certain criteria in mind, there is no way to control exactly what the person will be like. As the person grows and discovers themselves, they may not fit the roles that you had hoped for them to fill. In that aspect, creating someone is a lot like having a child.
It is not unusual for new people to suddenly appear in a system seemingly from nowhere. This can be a person that used to be a member of the system but went through a period of hibernation or hiding from the rest of the system. Sometimes this occurred so long ago that people have forgotten this person existed or they’ve changed so much that the other members no longer recognize them. Often, the appearance of a new person is attributed to one of the previously discussed origins.
Sometimes the people that show up unexpectedly have memories of events that did not occur to the body. One explanation for this is that these memories occurred in dreams the person had while they were forming. Another explanation is that as the person was forming, they incorporated information from outside sources into their make-up. Other people believe that these memories are factual, actual events that occurred in another place. If the person remembers dying, it is not unusual for the system to decide that this person must have been a past life of some sort that joined them in spirit. If the person remembers events that could not have occurred on Earth, the system or individual may decide that they some how traveled to the body from an alternate reality. When you consider explanations like these, it is important to remember that these memories are very real to the person in question. These memories are a major part of who they are: their personality, their reactions, and their hopes; just as your memories and experiences are a major part of who you are. Part of the drive to form these theories is their need to say that their memories do not just feel real but are real.
What are the people in multiple systems like?
For the most part, the individuals you encounter will be like any other person you might meet on the street. The main thing that differences the average multiple from the average single is the amount that their self-image and identity is influenced by the body. Most singles rely heavily on information from their body to tell them who and what they are. Generally your gender is based on your genitalia and your race is based on the color of your skin. Multiples can’t do this. As a result, it is not unusual to find people in systems that identify as having different ages, genders, or appearances than the body. The subjective memories and how the system members perceive each other may play large roles in the self identity of a multiple but they are just two of the innumerous determinants that factor into developing an individual’s self identity.
If someone says that they are a child, expect the emotional reactions and thought processes of a child even if the body is forty years old. Even though you know that the body is male, if someone says that they’re a woman then you’re dealing with a woman. That said she may not follow the gender roles that you would expect. She is just as likely to be tomboyish, girly, gay, or straight as any other woman you meet.
Above all else, people in multiple systems are people . Sometimes people compare multiplicity to how people have different aspects to their personality. It would be easy to think that the system members are just someone’s work persona or play persona but that is not how it works. We are just like you. We have aspects of our own personality. We have our own mood swings and emotions. Taken individually, we are complete people in our own right.
How do multiple systems work?
It is important to remember that no two systems work exactly the same way. Some traits come naturally to one system but have to be learned by another. There are three key points in understanding how systems function: communication, operating systems, and sharing use of the body.
Communication:
How to communicate with each other is one of the most important things that a system learns. Individuals can either communicated directly or indirectly. Groups that can not speak directly to each other have to rely on systems of leaving notes, passing messages through non-system members, and learning about each other through writings or journaling.
Direct communication can take several forms. Some systems speak to each other by taking turns using the body and speaking out loud. Other people speak to each other but do so internally similar to how people hold internal monologues in their head. Other times people communicate through impressions or by broadcasting their emotions to the rest of the system. Sharing memories and knowledge is another form of communication. Some systems have a memory bank set up that everyone in the system can pull information from.
Many systems also interact with each other directly in a place where they can see and touch each other. Commonly referred to as inner or other worlds; these places are not a phenomenon limited to multiples. Many singles have them, too. Some people believe these places are fabricated, imaginary places. Other people feel that the place they interact is as real as Earth. The interactions that take place there can be very important to the people involved. Because of this, the theories surrounding these places are similar to the theories surrounding subjective memories.
Operating Systems:
Decision making and cooperation are other keys for the system to function well. Systems can become highly organized as they work out the methods that fit them the best. Some groups have not learned how to organize themselves yet and anarchy rules. Things can get chaotic fast if there is no cooperation.
Many systems that follow the psychological model operate similarly to a dictatorship or a monarchy. Usually there is one person in charge that makes the decisions for everyone else. Sometimes this person is in charge because they are holding use of the body by force. Other times the person in charge was the original person born to the body and everyone else defers because of that.
Some systems set up miniature governments. They can have departments in charge of handling specific things. There are votes to decide who is placed in charge. They might polarize into subgroups much like the American government is divided into Democrats and Republicans.
Other systems follow a less formal path. They may work out a system for voting on decisions then merely set up a few basic ground rules. Some systems rely on agreed upon standards and the promise to discuss any conflicts that might arise. Some systems let whoever is using the body at the time make the decisions. It is not uncommon for people that use the body the most to be given more sway over decisions that affect the group’s external life.
There is more to operating systems than just decision making. They include the protocol for how the system presents itself to the world at large. They include who interacts with the world at large. Operating systems cover issues like how to handle dating, what to do when someone is needed but is not available, how to settle disputes. They outline what is and is not acceptable behavior by system members plus how to punish and prevent transgressions. It is easy to see why something as all encompassing as an operating system needs to be developed and agreed upon by the whole group.
Using the body:
One of the hardest things for singles to understand is how someone could keep track and manage the lives of so many people. In reality, not every person in the system is interested or suited to using the body on a regular basis. Many are content just interacting with their friends and family within the system. It also helps to realize that not everyone in a system is going to know every single other member especially when you are dealing with larger groups.
Fronting is a common term for using the body. Being at the front is another concept that is important to grasp before you can understand how multiples share use of their body. This generally refers to when individuals are in a position where they could take over physical control of the body. If you think of the body as a plane, they would be in the cockpit with the pilot but not actually flying the plane. They are watching what is going on and can generally talk to pilot. If the pilot were to let go of the wheel, one of them could step forward and begin piloting.
Some systems have one person that uses the body the most and handles responsibilities.
In some cases, the individual is left alone in the body with no one at the front with them. In other cases, there are other people at the front with the individual giving their opinions on decisions and keeping the individual company. Sometimes they will take over control of the body for periods of time but generally it is the one person that physically controls the body. Some systems will always have the same individual handling things. Other systems will periodically change and have a new person assume that position.
Other systems use a group of people that share use of the body and handles responsibilities. Physically, only one member of the group is using the body at a time. For instance, one person might type a paper that others at the front are dictating, and then someone else would take control of the body to retrieve the paper from the printer. It is also common for the composition of the group that uses the body to change over time. Some people decide to retire. Others develop an interest in joining the group.
Some members of the system are not suited or interested in helping with day-to-day affairs but may wish to use the body for personal interests. Some want to interact with friends or pursue hobbies. These people are often welcome to use the body during periods of free time. Most multiples become skilled at multi-tasking from learning to balance everyone’s wants and needs.
Sometimes in multiples with MPD/DID, one person will think they own the body and try to prevent any of the others from ever having access to it. This can lead to people getting angry and taking control of the body by force.
What is it like to be multiple?
Imagine everyone that lives in your house or everyone that lives on you floor then imagine that they all live in the same body as you. If you can imagine that, then you might have an idea of what it is like to be multiple. Of course, singles can never fully grasp what it is like to share your body with someone else any more than multiples can fully understand what it is like to be alone in a body.
Being multiple can be a very wonderful thing. The members of a system have an opportunity to understand each other at a level few forms of communication can match. It is not impossible to be lonely but it is rare to be alone. Many systems become their own family. You can talk to each other and goof off in movie theatres without making the people around you angry. You can have impromptu slumber parties lying awake in bed. You develop enviable multitasking skills. If you dislike doing something, you might be lucky enough to have someone else in the system that likes doing it. You can take a vacation from work without taking a vacation from work. You get dragged along to experience all sorts of wonderful things that you never would have chosen to do yourself.
Being multiple can also be very hard and frustrating. You have to be willing to take responsibility for the actions of everyone else in the system. You can not make large decisions without consulting everyone else. It is rare for you to be alone. You are not in control of your own life; you have to share it. There are only so many hours in the day and you have to try to fit in as many people’s past times as possible. If you dislike some of the people in your system, you still have to live with them.
The differences between the individual and the body can also be hard. Children are not allowed to play with other children because on the outside they look like adults. The men have to deal with being seen as a woman. They have to balance their masculinity with menstruating. The women are denied their femininity. It is unsafe for them to wear dresses and skirts. Dating can be a logistical nightmare trying to balance the system’s public image with the individual desires of its members.
The hardest thing about being multiple is not being open about ones’ multiplicity. You can never talk about the things you did with other system members because no one knows they exist. No one knows that you exist; they only know your birth name. More than one of you may be friends with the same person but they will not know you are separate people. That friend will never truly know either of you. You are not allowed to ask for a transformer for Christmas because no one knows you are only ten. You have to pretend to be someone else.
The alternative is to be open to people about being multiple but this has risks of its own. Being multiple can have negative effects of your job prospects. Telling family members can be particularly trying. Many multiples end up losing friendships because they came out to someone. Some people can not accept the idea of more than one person living in the same body. They refuse to see the people as individuals. Others are frightened because they think that means their friend is crazy. But coming out is not always a bad thing. When people accept you, you have the opportunity to truly be yourself. You do not have to hide things anymore. You are free to make your own friendships without having to conform to the image of you being someone else.
For some reason, it is always a lot easier to write down the negative things about something than it is the positive. Multiplicity is no different. For some people, they never allow themselves to see the good things or maybe they just weren’t meant to be multiple. For them, being multiple is an unnatural, miserable thing. Fortunately, most multiples make it through the rough patches and the inconveniences to find happiness being multiple. Many couldn’t imagine living any other way. Certainly, they would not be happy doing so. It is nothing glamorous or magical but it is our lives.
Things to keep in mind when reading about multiplicity:
Information that you read on one site will probably not be applicable to every multiple. Do not be surprised when you meet multiples or read other sites that contradict what you have been told. This is especially applicable to terminology. Many multiples find the terminology and ideology used by the psychology field offensive. Other times, the same word will be used to mean different things in different places. When in doubt, you should always ask what terms it is best for you to use.
If you read enough sites, you will find a multiple that is telling a story that sounds completely insane and illogical to you. Please do not take this to mean that all multiples are crazy. There are undoubtedly plenty of sites by singles that you would find just as insane and illogical.
Some sites make outrageous claims about multiplicity. Feel free to ignore them. No one is expecting you to believe that there are people whose hair changes color depending on who is using the body; although there are some psychosomatic and physiological reasons for there to be slight physical variations between individuals in the same body. No one is expecting you to believe that all multiples are ultra-enlightened super psychics either.
It is very common for extraneous topics to be linked to multiplicity. In most cases, this is simply a case of having or believing one thing while simultaneously being multiple. The thing itself has nothing to do with multiplicity. Multiples with MPD/DID will commonly link being multiple with dissociating or having Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) even though they are separate things. You may also come across mention of Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA). The beliefs surrounding SRA can be very complex but it has nothing to do with the validity of the persons’ statement that they are multiple. In the non-psychological community, it is not uncommon to find people stating that they are not human (otherkin), that they have died, or that they are from another dimension. These beliefs generally tie back to how much validity the system gives to the place where the members interact or the individuals’ subjective memories, but they are completely separate issues from this person’s multiplicity. It is also important to note that many singles report the same beliefs.
Lastly and most importantly, no matter what you read, remember that we’re people just like you. We’re not psychotic or a danger to society. We’re not all falling apart. We don’t all have it together. We’re not inspiring stories of healing. We’re not a strange, bizarre phenomenon. We’re not advanced, extraordinarily creative, psychic, gifted, or anything special. We’re just a bunch of people that just happen to be sharing the same body.
What is multiplicity?
Multiplicity is when more than one individual, independent person lives in a single body. Such people can be referred to as multiples. Similarly, people that are the sole inhabitant of their body are called singles.
You may hear the terms plurality and plurals used synonymously with multiplicity. In the broader sense of the word, multiplicity is a subset of plurality. Plurality encompasses every experience of being outside of singularity. Non-multiple plurality includes people where there is definitely more than a single entity in the body but they lack some facet of personhood to keep them from being separate, distinct people. Terms for some of these experiences are mid-continuum, median, and soulbonding, although not all soulbonders are plural. Plurality may sometimes include singles that operate as though they are more than one person. Examples of this would include: individuals that give names to aspects of their personality, people exploring their inner child, or a bipolar person that is treating their manic and depressive self as separate people to manage the impulses of each mood state.
What is MPD/DID?
Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is the current term for Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD). DID is a psychological disorder with symptoms pertaining to only a portion of the multiple community. It is the belief of many multiples that DID is actually the product of a disorganized system. Increased communication and cooperation between the system members generally eliminates the disruptive symptoms of DID. Unfortunately, the psychology field views multiplicity itself as the disorder so many times the treatment focuses on eradicating the multiplicity instead of restoring order.
MPD/DID is not a synonym for multiplicity but some people mistake it for one. People whose only experience is with the clinical approach to multiplicity may not realize that the two are not the same thing. Some are both multiple and have MPD/DID so they do not consider that there are multiples who are not disordered. The general public also frequently links the two together with multiple and split personalities. Because of this, many multiples will be offended by disparaging comments made about MPD/DID even though they themselves do not identify as having the disorder.
Where does multiplicity come from?
There are many theories about why some people are multiple. Realistically, there are probably as many origins as there are different ways to experience multiplicity. No single theory is going to encompass every multiple’s experience.
Many people do not know why they are multiple. Some feel they were born that way. Others believe they were born as one (or none) but became multiple as a natural part of their development. The psychological theories are based on the idea that a person experiences some sort of traumatic abuse then splits or fragments occur in their personality to cope with the abuse. Most books claim that all multiples originated this way but that is not the case, nor does having a history of abuse mean that is how the multiplicity originated. Some people believe that they are multiple because they are sharing their body with reincarnations from their past lives or with beings channeled from elsewhere. Other people believe that everyone is born multiple (or at least plural) but our society teaches us that only singularity is allowed so the multiplicity becomes suppressed.
Do not worry if only a few or none of these theories seem plausible to you. These beliefs are much like a religion. They are attempts by individuals to explain something that does not have any neat, perfect answers. In the end, it is not really the origins that are important. It’s what the people are now that is important.
Where do the people in multiple systems come from?
The people that make up a multiple system have as many different origins as the systems themselves can have. Some people are believed to have been present in the body at birth. When there is only one such person, this individual is referred to as the original or core person. Some systems, especially those that follow the psychological model, place special deference on this person while others do not. Some systems had an original but that person later left, died, or went into hiding.
A popular origination belief is that members of a system are created by the division or splitting of previous system members. In multiples with DID or those that follow the psychological model, this is often the only explanation of origin that they will accept. Some people believe that this splitting creates two entirely new people. Others believe that this creates one new person and the original person that split remains unchanged. Similarly, some multiples report that they have had new people formed from the merger of two other individuals. This may occur because different sides of the same person are being erroneously labeled as different people.
Some people are born spontaneously, possibly in response to some need within the system. Others are intentionally created by other system members. Sometimes, people are created unintentionally without even the creators being aware of it. How people are made varies between systems but it is never a frivolous process. It is quite a bit more involved than simply wishing for such and such type person then having them magically appear. Even when the people are being created with certain criteria in mind, there is no way to control exactly what the person will be like. As the person grows and discovers themselves, they may not fit the roles that you had hoped for them to fill. In that aspect, creating someone is a lot like having a child.
It is not unusual for new people to suddenly appear in a system seemingly from nowhere. This can be a person that used to be a member of the system but went through a period of hibernation or hiding from the rest of the system. Sometimes this occurred so long ago that people have forgotten this person existed or they’ve changed so much that the other members no longer recognize them. Often, the appearance of a new person is attributed to one of the previously discussed origins.
Sometimes the people that show up unexpectedly have memories of events that did not occur to the body. One explanation for this is that these memories occurred in dreams the person had while they were forming. Another explanation is that as the person was forming, they incorporated information from outside sources into their make-up. Other people believe that these memories are factual, actual events that occurred in another place. If the person remembers dying, it is not unusual for the system to decide that this person must have been a past life of some sort that joined them in spirit. If the person remembers events that could not have occurred on Earth, the system or individual may decide that they some how traveled to the body from an alternate reality. When you consider explanations like these, it is important to remember that these memories are very real to the person in question. These memories are a major part of who they are: their personality, their reactions, and their hopes; just as your memories and experiences are a major part of who you are. Part of the drive to form these theories is their need to say that their memories do not just feel real but are real.
What are the people in multiple systems like?
For the most part, the individuals you encounter will be like any other person you might meet on the street. The main thing that differences the average multiple from the average single is the amount that their self-image and identity is influenced by the body. Most singles rely heavily on information from their body to tell them who and what they are. Generally your gender is based on your genitalia and your race is based on the color of your skin. Multiples can’t do this. As a result, it is not unusual to find people in systems that identify as having different ages, genders, or appearances than the body. The subjective memories and how the system members perceive each other may play large roles in the self identity of a multiple but they are just two of the innumerous determinants that factor into developing an individual’s self identity.
If someone says that they are a child, expect the emotional reactions and thought processes of a child even if the body is forty years old. Even though you know that the body is male, if someone says that they’re a woman then you’re dealing with a woman. That said she may not follow the gender roles that you would expect. She is just as likely to be tomboyish, girly, gay, or straight as any other woman you meet.
Above all else, people in multiple systems are people . Sometimes people compare multiplicity to how people have different aspects to their personality. It would be easy to think that the system members are just someone’s work persona or play persona but that is not how it works. We are just like you. We have aspects of our own personality. We have our own mood swings and emotions. Taken individually, we are complete people in our own right.
How do multiple systems work?
It is important to remember that no two systems work exactly the same way. Some traits come naturally to one system but have to be learned by another. There are three key points in understanding how systems function: communication, operating systems, and sharing use of the body.
Communication:
How to communicate with each other is one of the most important things that a system learns. Individuals can either communicated directly or indirectly. Groups that can not speak directly to each other have to rely on systems of leaving notes, passing messages through non-system members, and learning about each other through writings or journaling.
Direct communication can take several forms. Some systems speak to each other by taking turns using the body and speaking out loud. Other people speak to each other but do so internally similar to how people hold internal monologues in their head. Other times people communicate through impressions or by broadcasting their emotions to the rest of the system. Sharing memories and knowledge is another form of communication. Some systems have a memory bank set up that everyone in the system can pull information from.
Many systems also interact with each other directly in a place where they can see and touch each other. Commonly referred to as inner or other worlds; these places are not a phenomenon limited to multiples. Many singles have them, too. Some people believe these places are fabricated, imaginary places. Other people feel that the place they interact is as real as Earth. The interactions that take place there can be very important to the people involved. Because of this, the theories surrounding these places are similar to the theories surrounding subjective memories.
Operating Systems:
Decision making and cooperation are other keys for the system to function well. Systems can become highly organized as they work out the methods that fit them the best. Some groups have not learned how to organize themselves yet and anarchy rules. Things can get chaotic fast if there is no cooperation.
Many systems that follow the psychological model operate similarly to a dictatorship or a monarchy. Usually there is one person in charge that makes the decisions for everyone else. Sometimes this person is in charge because they are holding use of the body by force. Other times the person in charge was the original person born to the body and everyone else defers because of that.
Some systems set up miniature governments. They can have departments in charge of handling specific things. There are votes to decide who is placed in charge. They might polarize into subgroups much like the American government is divided into Democrats and Republicans.
Other systems follow a less formal path. They may work out a system for voting on decisions then merely set up a few basic ground rules. Some systems rely on agreed upon standards and the promise to discuss any conflicts that might arise. Some systems let whoever is using the body at the time make the decisions. It is not uncommon for people that use the body the most to be given more sway over decisions that affect the group’s external life.
There is more to operating systems than just decision making. They include the protocol for how the system presents itself to the world at large. They include who interacts with the world at large. Operating systems cover issues like how to handle dating, what to do when someone is needed but is not available, how to settle disputes. They outline what is and is not acceptable behavior by system members plus how to punish and prevent transgressions. It is easy to see why something as all encompassing as an operating system needs to be developed and agreed upon by the whole group.
Using the body:
One of the hardest things for singles to understand is how someone could keep track and manage the lives of so many people. In reality, not every person in the system is interested or suited to using the body on a regular basis. Many are content just interacting with their friends and family within the system. It also helps to realize that not everyone in a system is going to know every single other member especially when you are dealing with larger groups.
Fronting is a common term for using the body. Being at the front is another concept that is important to grasp before you can understand how multiples share use of their body. This generally refers to when individuals are in a position where they could take over physical control of the body. If you think of the body as a plane, they would be in the cockpit with the pilot but not actually flying the plane. They are watching what is going on and can generally talk to pilot. If the pilot were to let go of the wheel, one of them could step forward and begin piloting.
Some systems have one person that uses the body the most and handles responsibilities.
In some cases, the individual is left alone in the body with no one at the front with them. In other cases, there are other people at the front with the individual giving their opinions on decisions and keeping the individual company. Sometimes they will take over control of the body for periods of time but generally it is the one person that physically controls the body. Some systems will always have the same individual handling things. Other systems will periodically change and have a new person assume that position.
Other systems use a group of people that share use of the body and handles responsibilities. Physically, only one member of the group is using the body at a time. For instance, one person might type a paper that others at the front are dictating, and then someone else would take control of the body to retrieve the paper from the printer. It is also common for the composition of the group that uses the body to change over time. Some people decide to retire. Others develop an interest in joining the group.
Some members of the system are not suited or interested in helping with day-to-day affairs but may wish to use the body for personal interests. Some want to interact with friends or pursue hobbies. These people are often welcome to use the body during periods of free time. Most multiples become skilled at multi-tasking from learning to balance everyone’s wants and needs.
Sometimes in multiples with MPD/DID, one person will think they own the body and try to prevent any of the others from ever having access to it. This can lead to people getting angry and taking control of the body by force.
What is it like to be multiple?
Imagine everyone that lives in your house or everyone that lives on you floor then imagine that they all live in the same body as you. If you can imagine that, then you might have an idea of what it is like to be multiple. Of course, singles can never fully grasp what it is like to share your body with someone else any more than multiples can fully understand what it is like to be alone in a body.
Being multiple can be a very wonderful thing. The members of a system have an opportunity to understand each other at a level few forms of communication can match. It is not impossible to be lonely but it is rare to be alone. Many systems become their own family. You can talk to each other and goof off in movie theatres without making the people around you angry. You can have impromptu slumber parties lying awake in bed. You develop enviable multitasking skills. If you dislike doing something, you might be lucky enough to have someone else in the system that likes doing it. You can take a vacation from work without taking a vacation from work. You get dragged along to experience all sorts of wonderful things that you never would have chosen to do yourself.
Being multiple can also be very hard and frustrating. You have to be willing to take responsibility for the actions of everyone else in the system. You can not make large decisions without consulting everyone else. It is rare for you to be alone. You are not in control of your own life; you have to share it. There are only so many hours in the day and you have to try to fit in as many people’s past times as possible. If you dislike some of the people in your system, you still have to live with them.
The differences between the individual and the body can also be hard. Children are not allowed to play with other children because on the outside they look like adults. The men have to deal with being seen as a woman. They have to balance their masculinity with menstruating. The women are denied their femininity. It is unsafe for them to wear dresses and skirts. Dating can be a logistical nightmare trying to balance the system’s public image with the individual desires of its members.
The hardest thing about being multiple is not being open about ones’ multiplicity. You can never talk about the things you did with other system members because no one knows they exist. No one knows that you exist; they only know your birth name. More than one of you may be friends with the same person but they will not know you are separate people. That friend will never truly know either of you. You are not allowed to ask for a transformer for Christmas because no one knows you are only ten. You have to pretend to be someone else.
The alternative is to be open to people about being multiple but this has risks of its own. Being multiple can have negative effects of your job prospects. Telling family members can be particularly trying. Many multiples end up losing friendships because they came out to someone. Some people can not accept the idea of more than one person living in the same body. They refuse to see the people as individuals. Others are frightened because they think that means their friend is crazy. But coming out is not always a bad thing. When people accept you, you have the opportunity to truly be yourself. You do not have to hide things anymore. You are free to make your own friendships without having to conform to the image of you being someone else.
For some reason, it is always a lot easier to write down the negative things about something than it is the positive. Multiplicity is no different. For some people, they never allow themselves to see the good things or maybe they just weren’t meant to be multiple. For them, being multiple is an unnatural, miserable thing. Fortunately, most multiples make it through the rough patches and the inconveniences to find happiness being multiple. Many couldn’t imagine living any other way. Certainly, they would not be happy doing so. It is nothing glamorous or magical but it is our lives.
Things to keep in mind when reading about multiplicity:
Information that you read on one site will probably not be applicable to every multiple. Do not be surprised when you meet multiples or read other sites that contradict what you have been told. This is especially applicable to terminology. Many multiples find the terminology and ideology used by the psychology field offensive. Other times, the same word will be used to mean different things in different places. When in doubt, you should always ask what terms it is best for you to use.
If you read enough sites, you will find a multiple that is telling a story that sounds completely insane and illogical to you. Please do not take this to mean that all multiples are crazy. There are undoubtedly plenty of sites by singles that you would find just as insane and illogical.
Some sites make outrageous claims about multiplicity. Feel free to ignore them. No one is expecting you to believe that there are people whose hair changes color depending on who is using the body; although there are some psychosomatic and physiological reasons for there to be slight physical variations between individuals in the same body. No one is expecting you to believe that all multiples are ultra-enlightened super psychics either.
It is very common for extraneous topics to be linked to multiplicity. In most cases, this is simply a case of having or believing one thing while simultaneously being multiple. The thing itself has nothing to do with multiplicity. Multiples with MPD/DID will commonly link being multiple with dissociating or having Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) even though they are separate things. You may also come across mention of Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA). The beliefs surrounding SRA can be very complex but it has nothing to do with the validity of the persons’ statement that they are multiple. In the non-psychological community, it is not uncommon to find people stating that they are not human (otherkin), that they have died, or that they are from another dimension. These beliefs generally tie back to how much validity the system gives to the place where the members interact or the individuals’ subjective memories, but they are completely separate issues from this person’s multiplicity. It is also important to note that many singles report the same beliefs.
Lastly and most importantly, no matter what you read, remember that we’re people just like you. We’re not psychotic or a danger to society. We’re not all falling apart. We don’t all have it together. We’re not inspiring stories of healing. We’re not a strange, bizarre phenomenon. We’re not advanced, extraordinarily creative, psychic, gifted, or anything special. We’re just a bunch of people that just happen to be sharing the same body.
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Date: 2004-02-21 10:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-21 10:35 pm (UTC)everything truly is different between systems, so terminology (we use plural rather than multiple, but in the same sense. and soulbonding isn't necessarily a median experience.) and body usage and views are quite different. in general, though, i thought it was fairly expansive. very nice.
i'm thinking of letting a close friend in on "the big secret" (hah), and i might point him towards this essay.
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Date: 2004-02-21 11:01 pm (UTC)If there are specific differences you would like to share, we could try to incorporate them. The essay is, of course, influenced by our experiences and opinions but we were trying to include a concise view of the variations found in the multiple communities. A comment can be left in our journal if you do not wish to share here.
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Date: 2004-02-22 10:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-22 05:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-22 10:47 am (UTC)So true. Back when we were having problems, I used to wish the others would just go away - but now I would be devastated if they left. I really can't imagine what it would be like to be so alone, and I don't want to ever have to.
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Date: 2004-02-22 10:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-23 08:50 am (UTC)Hope you don't mind I didn't get permission first. Your thougts on operating systems and sharing the body really nailed it. I've never even thought about trying to explain the complexities of those dynamics (I'm not sure I've had a clear understanding of them) and you came close to describing Our exact experience...
Thanks again.
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Date: 2004-02-23 04:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 02:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-28 11:49 am (UTC)