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Aug. 29th, 2007 03:28 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
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I posted a brief introduction here ages ago, but now that I've typed up an overly in depth one (cross posted in my new community
everydaydid, my other journal is
tajuujinkaku) I thought I could share it here, as well.
To start, my name is Lyndsey. I am the "host" of sorts, I'm the one that was in our system (which is unnamed) first. I was singular until around ten years old, when Rindy joined me. It was just her and I for a few years, but quite a few others occupy our humble abode now. (Speaking of our humble abode, imagine a tall apartment building. The top floor is one open room, the Common Room, where we spend most of our time while on the inside.)
Around the time our numbers peaked (about three years ago), the system was dysfunctional but not terribly so. Several of us fronted, but Rindy in particular would force front, and there was a lot of lost time and bickering. Rindy wanted to front all the time and I wouldn't have it, so she turned on me. She would force front, cut me up a bit, or leave me to resurface in awkward/bad situations. Functionality had halted. By the end of that year I'd had it- I succumbed to the pressures of my mother (I was in high school at the time) and went to therapy. I never told them I was a multiple, but I managed to get prescribed anti-psychotics anyway. I don't think they actually helped in and of themselves, but all the same a slight placebo effect and the added determination I'd found helped me to push the entire system to the back of my mind and live as a singlet. I still regret the effect this had on our system. One of my most valued headmates, Wil, was lost to this transition. The most accurate way to describe what happened is to say that he committed suicide.
For the following two years, the system was whisper-quiet. Everyone was still there, but I was apart from them. There were only a handful of occasions during this time that I let someone else front (usually Shai, and in times of stress or despair). It wasn't until late 2006 that I finally realized why I was so... lonely. I had just come out of a two year relationship, not necessarily a horrible one, but more of a stifling and demoralizing one. I never told that particular ex-boyfriend about my system. My current relationship started in October '06, and my boyfriend Andy is the only person I have told easily that I am a multiple. He accepted it completely, and I realized that with the support of my significant other I could likely come to accept it myself.
I started looking in at the system again to get a feel of how everyone had changed in our time "apart". I realized soon that as I had grown up a lot, so had they. Rindy is calm and rational now, or at least more so than she was. She didn't even seem angry... even her bitterness had faded in her years inside. The children were older. The system had become, overall... civilized. And without my help. Go figure!
After a few months spent reconnecting with the system as a whole, I let Rindy front one night for the first time in, well, a long time. She behaved well, she met my boyfriend, she lost a game of chess against him (as does everyone, haha). It's such a sense of relief! I still have trouble relinquishing front, but things are getting better. :]
And for those interested, here is a list of our system members:
Rindy
Previously discussed. :] One daughter, Me (pronounced "may"), age 16.
Lyhon
One of the first after Rindy. Lyhon is very responsible when it comes to system management, but is overall very laid back. The word "suave" comes to mind (probably from him). Two daughters. Whisper, age three, Aleena, age ten. One son, Taylor James, age two.
Julian
Very serious. Only speaks when he's got something of use to say. One daughter, Clover, age three.
Nox
Mother of Clover. Seems to be the only purpose she has any more, as nearly all semblances of her personality are gone.
Shai
Quiet, introverted. She is hard working, and therefore has fronted many shifts at our various places of work. Prefers reading to conversation.
Trevor
Compassionate and easy to get along with. Possibly the sanest person in the system.
Symon
Well meaning and somewhat shy. Overly apologetic. Queer as a two dollar bill. :]
Cassiel
Somewhat stern, with a soft spot for children and Symon. Also very gay.
Jason
Blank stares are Jason's specialty. Rarely ever speaks, shrugs often.
Sean
Extremely moody. If he feels you are taking a question or situation over the line, he will begin ranting about his "walls"- metaphors for the barriers he has placed around himself in order to avoid accidentally trusting someone unworthy.
Mosquito
Very self-depreciating and not all that pleasant to be around. Sort of the raincloud of the system, but we can't help wanting to give him a hug or something.
Crow
Overbearing with a Napolean complex. Arrogant, to say the least. Physically, he is nearly identical to Mosquito.
"Young" Wilfred
A thirteen year old version of the late Wilfred, came to exist approx. a year after his adult form died. We can only assume that he was a bit of Wil tucked away somewhere, owing to (adult) Wil's lack of childlike qualities. Young Wil is a charmer, but easily startled and a bit clumsy.
Kado
Has the air of someone suffering from unrequited love.
Billy
One of the most outgoing people in the system. He will become your friend before you know what's hit you, and you won't really mind. :]
Nothing
Quiet and very serious. Little is known about him.
Corey
Cocky as hell, but charming, like the jerk that is funny so you like him.
Li
Extremely clever but often overlooked. Fairly introverted.
Mayhem
An incessantly, exhaustingly hyper girl. No one else in the word can greet you as many times in ten seconds.
Zenith
Sarcastic and wry, all the time.
Indie
Was once somewhat childlike. After the system troubles she became bitter and nearly violent.
Me
Rindy's daughter (even if she denies it). Very naive. Much like any other sixteen year old girl.
Riordan
Quiet but good natured. An on-looker. (As you're probably catching on, our system is filled with people that can just sit and look on when needed.)
Melia
Easily baffled and a bit gullible, but for the most part rather average.
Nyne
The quick-talker. Rather clever, but has questionable intentions.
Lost
Perpetually melancholy. Does not exist to front, or even speak, but rather as sort of storage for unpleasant memories.
Seth
One eyed, has an off-beat sense of humor and little to no depth perception.
Marcus
Agreeable above all else.
James
Cocky as all hell. Some wonder if perhaps he got the vast majority of the system's narcissism.
Peach
Sort of like Mayhem, but toned way down. Very spontaneous.
Orange
See Peach. Orange and Peach are very nearly the same person, twins of a sort.
Jesse
An easily offended/charmed Spanish boy.
Children:
Aleena (age ten)
Lyhon's adopted daughter. Was mute till the age of eight, whereas now she will talk until you force her to stop.
Fyre (age eight)
Mostly well adjusted child. Energetic and bright.
Whisper (age three)
Affectionate and meek. Born blind.
Clover (age three)
Temperamental and fussy.
Taylor James (age two)
Typical two year old boy.
Please note that this list does not include system members that are no longer with us.
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To start, my name is Lyndsey. I am the "host" of sorts, I'm the one that was in our system (which is unnamed) first. I was singular until around ten years old, when Rindy joined me. It was just her and I for a few years, but quite a few others occupy our humble abode now. (Speaking of our humble abode, imagine a tall apartment building. The top floor is one open room, the Common Room, where we spend most of our time while on the inside.)
Around the time our numbers peaked (about three years ago), the system was dysfunctional but not terribly so. Several of us fronted, but Rindy in particular would force front, and there was a lot of lost time and bickering. Rindy wanted to front all the time and I wouldn't have it, so she turned on me. She would force front, cut me up a bit, or leave me to resurface in awkward/bad situations. Functionality had halted. By the end of that year I'd had it- I succumbed to the pressures of my mother (I was in high school at the time) and went to therapy. I never told them I was a multiple, but I managed to get prescribed anti-psychotics anyway. I don't think they actually helped in and of themselves, but all the same a slight placebo effect and the added determination I'd found helped me to push the entire system to the back of my mind and live as a singlet. I still regret the effect this had on our system. One of my most valued headmates, Wil, was lost to this transition. The most accurate way to describe what happened is to say that he committed suicide.
For the following two years, the system was whisper-quiet. Everyone was still there, but I was apart from them. There were only a handful of occasions during this time that I let someone else front (usually Shai, and in times of stress or despair). It wasn't until late 2006 that I finally realized why I was so... lonely. I had just come out of a two year relationship, not necessarily a horrible one, but more of a stifling and demoralizing one. I never told that particular ex-boyfriend about my system. My current relationship started in October '06, and my boyfriend Andy is the only person I have told easily that I am a multiple. He accepted it completely, and I realized that with the support of my significant other I could likely come to accept it myself.
I started looking in at the system again to get a feel of how everyone had changed in our time "apart". I realized soon that as I had grown up a lot, so had they. Rindy is calm and rational now, or at least more so than she was. She didn't even seem angry... even her bitterness had faded in her years inside. The children were older. The system had become, overall... civilized. And without my help. Go figure!
After a few months spent reconnecting with the system as a whole, I let Rindy front one night for the first time in, well, a long time. She behaved well, she met my boyfriend, she lost a game of chess against him (as does everyone, haha). It's such a sense of relief! I still have trouble relinquishing front, but things are getting better. :]
And for those interested, here is a list of our system members:
Rindy
Previously discussed. :] One daughter, Me (pronounced "may"), age 16.
Lyhon
One of the first after Rindy. Lyhon is very responsible when it comes to system management, but is overall very laid back. The word "suave" comes to mind (probably from him). Two daughters. Whisper, age three, Aleena, age ten. One son, Taylor James, age two.
Julian
Very serious. Only speaks when he's got something of use to say. One daughter, Clover, age three.
Nox
Mother of Clover. Seems to be the only purpose she has any more, as nearly all semblances of her personality are gone.
Shai
Quiet, introverted. She is hard working, and therefore has fronted many shifts at our various places of work. Prefers reading to conversation.
Trevor
Compassionate and easy to get along with. Possibly the sanest person in the system.
Symon
Well meaning and somewhat shy. Overly apologetic. Queer as a two dollar bill. :]
Cassiel
Somewhat stern, with a soft spot for children and Symon. Also very gay.
Jason
Blank stares are Jason's specialty. Rarely ever speaks, shrugs often.
Sean
Extremely moody. If he feels you are taking a question or situation over the line, he will begin ranting about his "walls"- metaphors for the barriers he has placed around himself in order to avoid accidentally trusting someone unworthy.
Mosquito
Very self-depreciating and not all that pleasant to be around. Sort of the raincloud of the system, but we can't help wanting to give him a hug or something.
Crow
Overbearing with a Napolean complex. Arrogant, to say the least. Physically, he is nearly identical to Mosquito.
"Young" Wilfred
A thirteen year old version of the late Wilfred, came to exist approx. a year after his adult form died. We can only assume that he was a bit of Wil tucked away somewhere, owing to (adult) Wil's lack of childlike qualities. Young Wil is a charmer, but easily startled and a bit clumsy.
Kado
Has the air of someone suffering from unrequited love.
Billy
One of the most outgoing people in the system. He will become your friend before you know what's hit you, and you won't really mind. :]
Nothing
Quiet and very serious. Little is known about him.
Corey
Cocky as hell, but charming, like the jerk that is funny so you like him.
Li
Extremely clever but often overlooked. Fairly introverted.
Mayhem
An incessantly, exhaustingly hyper girl. No one else in the word can greet you as many times in ten seconds.
Zenith
Sarcastic and wry, all the time.
Indie
Was once somewhat childlike. After the system troubles she became bitter and nearly violent.
Me
Rindy's daughter (even if she denies it). Very naive. Much like any other sixteen year old girl.
Riordan
Quiet but good natured. An on-looker. (As you're probably catching on, our system is filled with people that can just sit and look on when needed.)
Melia
Easily baffled and a bit gullible, but for the most part rather average.
Nyne
The quick-talker. Rather clever, but has questionable intentions.
Lost
Perpetually melancholy. Does not exist to front, or even speak, but rather as sort of storage for unpleasant memories.
Seth
One eyed, has an off-beat sense of humor and little to no depth perception.
Marcus
Agreeable above all else.
James
Cocky as all hell. Some wonder if perhaps he got the vast majority of the system's narcissism.
Peach
Sort of like Mayhem, but toned way down. Very spontaneous.
Orange
See Peach. Orange and Peach are very nearly the same person, twins of a sort.
Jesse
An easily offended/charmed Spanish boy.
Children:
Aleena (age ten)
Lyhon's adopted daughter. Was mute till the age of eight, whereas now she will talk until you force her to stop.
Fyre (age eight)
Mostly well adjusted child. Energetic and bright.
Whisper (age three)
Affectionate and meek. Born blind.
Clover (age three)
Temperamental and fussy.
Taylor James (age two)
Typical two year old boy.
Please note that this list does not include system members that are no longer with us.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-29 08:29 am (UTC)Kerry
no subject
Date: 2007-08-29 06:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-29 01:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-29 06:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-29 08:46 pm (UTC)I'm not attempting to attack you in any way, merely to understand it. I can understand people won't always relate to some of my experiences, much as I, say, will not be able to relate to the experience of having 'split' from someone. However if I weren't to specifically announce myself as kin in an introduction, nobody would ever be the wiser. That's how little it affects my life and my situation. I'm reading your other responses and concluding that perhaps it's disbelief (which I find odd given many people with classic trauma DID very famously have 'otherkin'), in which case, is it disbelief in the otherkin as a person or simply that they are otherkin? If it's simply that they are otherkin, again, I'm interested in the reasoning for them not posting even if it never crops up.
As an extension of that, what of people who are people in a system merely taking on a character's name and history as 'someone to be'? Or an alter who was born and simply takes the form of say, an angel, to better fit the role they fill in system. Are they also prohibited from posting? I'm especially interested in this, given that it may be true for quite a few 'SoulBonds', and I know of at least one who is certain it's true for them.
(I noticed that there are quite a few members of that community who are SoulBonders. Is your rule an enforced one, or just to try and keep the community 'on topic' as it were?)
I'm not especially bothered, and in many ways I'm sympathetic (This is my headmate's journal, and he's thinking of leaving all the comms because he's fed up of reading about DID, and teeny boppers with 'muses'). Just curious in passing.
~Selene
no subject
Date: 2007-08-29 08:54 pm (UTC)My rules are also partly a precaution against posts such as "I RP more than I eat and now my muses are separate beings!" and "Hey, I'm Tifa from Final Fantasy, but I don't know much about myself because I've never played the game! Whoops!"
no subject
Date: 2007-08-30 12:26 am (UTC)~Sati
no subject
Date: 2007-08-30 12:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-29 05:36 pm (UTC)What do you hope to find here? Are you going to treat the people here with respect even if their systems differ from yours?
I am sorry that you feel so threatened by people who are different from you.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-29 06:40 pm (UTC)And while I'm being honest, another factor is that, while I can be nice to everyone and get along, I just do not believe in things like "fictionkin" and "otakukin". That's just MY belief, and I'm not asking anyone else to believe what I believe- I'm just making a place for people that feel the same.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-29 07:25 pm (UTC)If some one says they are Katerina from Russia isn't that fiction too? Especially if the body was never been to Russia? Essentially aren't all 'alters' with a separate history fictional as well?
I personally don't believe so, but I'm curious what you think about that kind of situation.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-29 07:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-29 07:31 pm (UTC)When I say "fictionkin", I'm referring solely to the people that have copyrighted characters in their systems. It's a bit different from what you're saying.