multiplicity_archives

I just joined the community and wanted to introduce myself and explain my situation. It's kind of complicated and I'm still learning about it (although now that I think of it, I shouldn't be surprised by this).

First of all, for now, you can call me Quinn. It's not my real name, but I am a writer and chose Quinn Logan as my nom-de-plume (Logan stemming from my love of Wolverine of the X-men). I am 30 years old and from Nova Scotia, Canada. I live with my boyfriend and ten betta fish. My boyfriend and I both work at a call center. But enough about that.

Ever since I can remember I have had a very active imagination. That manifested itself in my writing and in what I used to call "playing" when I was a child. I would spend hours upon hours in my room with my music blasting "playing" with imaginary friends...who usually weren't so imaginary. Usually they were characters from different TV shows that I was into at the time. I was always a "character" made up by me, having adventures with my favorite TV characters inside the space of my bedroom. And I could actually see them and hear them talking and talk to them, usually out loud. It didn't stop as I got older either, it usually just changed as I got into something else and once I grew up, I stopped talking out loud to them and kept it in my head.

Seven years ago, when I saw the first X-Men movie, I was introduced to comic books. I was 23 at the time and upon seeing the movie, went online and did a lot of research. I also started buying a lot of comics. Besides Wolverine, I absolutely fell in love with Gambit and started getting every single Gambit comic I could get my hands on. It was then that I met the group of people who would become my muses.

They are the Thieves and Assassins Guilds of New Orleans. They're minor comic characters created to be Gambit's family. Marvel created them and did very little with them. They moved into my head as muses and asked me to develop them. So I did. They told me what to write, I wrote it. I ended up writing over 150 stories about them over the next few years. I learned each of their personalities and became completely comfortable with them in my head. I also became comfortable roleplaying online as them, which is something I have also done a fair bit of over the years. I still do it, but not nearly as much anymore, now that my job and love live and social life have started to take up more of my time. But the muses are still there, chilling out in my head. They all still talk to me and keep me company. There are two who are a little different.

One's name is Emil Lapin and he's a thief, Gambit's cousin. He's an obnoxious redhead who never thinks before he talks and is the exact opposite of me. He has completely become part of me, mind and soul. He is always with me, always talking to me in my head, always giving crazy commentary about customers at work and other things going on (and currently begging me to throw a party on Monday for his birthday...). The other's name is Questa and he's one of the assassins. He has multiple personalities due to abuse he suffered as a child/teen and he kind of attached himself to me fairly early on in the seven years, much like Emil did. He tells me he feels safe with me and trusts me like no one else, so there you go.

The two of them have always had a stronger bond with me than the rest of the Guild members. I've written the most about them and they talk to me the most. Recently they've started telling me different things about their lives that they never mentioned before and the entire guild tells me this stuff is truth, beyond what has been written about. Why it's coming out now is a little beyond me, but they're talking and I'm listening (and when I get a chance, writing it down to document it for them).

Two people have told me that it sounds like I'm soulbonded with Emil and Questa (and maybe even to the whole Guild because I do have each of their voices/personas in my head and I do talk to them and they are part of who I am) and I'm trying to figure out exactly what it means and entails. I'm also hoping to look for people who are like me and who understand what I'm going through. I have never looked upon myself as being crazy, even when I was a kid talking to "myself". I have tried to hide it because I'm pretty sure around here people would think I'm nuts and have me committed, but to me, doing what I do and having these characters in my head is perfectly normal and natural. It's just me.

So if you don't think I'm totally off my gourd (and I have a feeling you won't) I would really love to make some new friends that I can talk to about what's going on with me and share things with, since most of my friends would not understand this I don't think. Please feel free to talk to me on AIM (quinnlogan77), add my LJ and chat through comments and stuff, or talk to me here.

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Location: home

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